I don't love you tomorrow

Li Guanmian felt like he was in a dream.

A month ago, he was still thinking about reporting to the company as soon as possible, but this month's examination can basically confirm the diagnosis - he, like his father, has lung cancer.

All this happened too suddenly, because Li Guanmian had already started to have obvious symptoms such as pain, and had already entered the advanced stage of lung cancer.But it was too unreal, until Li Guanmian slowly accepted the reality, but Wei Rongxing, who was always by his side, still couldn't believe it.

He had never experienced this kind of situation, and he didn't know what to do, but the cruel reality forced him to stand up and move forward. He knew that Li Guanmian had only himself and could only rely on himself, and he could not fall down again.Every time he went to see Li Guanmian in the ward, he had to adjust his mental state. Sometimes he would wash his face outside with the tap on, and cry silently before going in.He wanted to stay by Li Guanmian's side all day, but he was afraid that he would not be able to hold on ahead of time, so he gave up.

The nurse he hired was a young, strong and patient guy with a good reputation. Wei Rongxing didn't dare to say anything, for fear that his family would find out, so he only used his own relationship to contact the hospital in the United States. Set off.

He went to the ward to pick up Li Guanmian.

Li Guanmian was thinner now, with sunken cheeks, he was sitting on the bed, ready to see Wei Rongxing, and smiled at him.

"Let's go." Wei Rongxing said.

During this period of time, he has learned to forbear, and he will never be as impulsive as before, using unreasonable troubles to force Li Guanmian to like him.Wei Rongxing's words became less and less, if he could not say anything, he would just keep looking at Li Guanmian.

"I know it's too boring to say thank you or money now." In the car, Li Guanmian said, "If it's possible, can you send me there and come back?"

Wei Rongxing said, "Impossible."

Li Guanmian said: "...I am worried about you."

"I can." Wei Rongxing said, "I'm not like before, you can completely avoid this kind of worry. Besides... life is full of hope and infinite possibilities. We just go to treat the disease, and we will come back when cured."

In the face of death, human beings are extremely ignorant. Just like Li Guanmian, although his father died of lung cancer, he was not sure how long he could live, whether it was one month, three months, or half a year.He was worried, very worried that Wei Rongxing would face his departure. Wei Rongxing was still young and shouldn't have experienced this. He felt a deep and insoluble guilt and apology from his heart.

But he also knew that he couldn't persuade Wei Rongxing.

Thinking of this, Li Guanmian smiled again, and he said, "I used to be able to say no to you when I was in good health, and now I can't even say so."

Wei Rongxing took a deep breath, turned his head to look out of the car window, and said, "Yes, so you can only listen to me."

Leaving the country where I have lived for more than 20 years, leaving the land under my feet, seems to have completed some sense of ritual in my heart.He is going to a foreign country for medical treatment, and he is going to officially start the fight against the god of death. The outcome of this tug-of-war is unknown, but the price is extremely painful. It is absolutely unacceptable to everyone. This time Li Guanmian is standing in the arena.

To Li Guanmian, getting off the plane and going straight to the hospital and staying there seemed like he was doing the same thing in another place.He had long felt pain in his chest and ribs, and he didn't take it seriously at first, but now he regretted it a bit, wondering if it would be different if he had come to the hospital earlier.But regret is the most meaningless, he can only force himself to forget this thought, but fortunately, the pain makes him unable to concentrate, and the round after round of inspections distracts him, preventing him from thinking too much.

Back in the ward, Li Guanmian lay down again. He became more and more aware of his physical condition. Standing would cause pain and loss of strength, but lying down would give him a sense of security.

During this month, Li Guanmian kept in touch with Wei Chunxuan as usual.Wei Chunxuan asked him if he liked playing with Xiaozhi, and he said he did, and then Wei Chunxuan called him after a few days, asking him why he lied to himself. There was no record that Xiaozhi had been activated.

It sounded a little angry, but at that time Li Guanmian was going to have an inspection and was running out of time, so he had to apologize and said that he would activate it later, and he was busy recently.

Text messages and phone calls every now and then, still didn't stop.Wei Chunxuan was also very busy, taking time out to contact Li Guanmian during the day, and being distracted, he had to continue working at night.He couldn't stop. Of course, the company he dreamed of would continue to operate without him, but it obviously hadn't developed to that level yet.The newcomers in the industry are rising, if they don’t move forward, they will eventually be eliminated by the whole era.

Compared with the fiery dream in his heart, Li Guanmian can be called "important", but that light is dimmed after all.

After sleeping all night, Li Guanmian woke up in the morning and wanted to log in to WeChat, but couldn't, so he asked Wei Rongxing a few words.

"Don't use the mobile phone card before." Wei Rongxing said, "Go back and use it again. If you have someone you want to contact, use WeChat on WiFi."

"No." Li Guanmian thought for a while, and planned to say a few words to the half-brother.If something really happens, it also makes people mentally prepared.As soon as he logged on to WeChat, he saw several voice messages from Wei Chunxuan, asking where he was.

Wei Rongxing also heard his uncle's voice beside him, he did not disturb Li Guanmian and let him make his own decision.

Li Guanmian replied, "What's the matter...I live outside."

Wei Chunxuan directly sent a video request, Li Guanmian hurriedly pressed it down, and typed after thinking about it: "It's not convenient."

Wei Chunxuan made another voice call, but Li Guanmian still hung up, and this time he didn't know what to answer.

Wei Chunxuan: "Go."

Li Guanmian replied: "No."

It seemed a little blunt, and he added: "If you have something to say, it's really inconvenient for me."

Wei Chunxuan: "I know where you are, I want to see you."

Li Guanmian stared at the screen, lost in thought, he thought about it or forget it, put the phone aside and didn't return it.

As the distance increases, familiar people will gradually become unfamiliar. When this time really comes, it is difficult not to let go of many ties.Li Guanmian adjusted well, and he said to Wei Rongxing, "Your uncle is looking for me." The implication was that he could help prevent Wei Chunxuan from coming.

Wei Rongxing said: "If he really wants to know, he will find out our whereabouts soon. If he finds out that you are in the hospital, maybe we can see him tonight."

Just like Li Guanmian couldn't convince Wei Rongxing, no one could stop Wei Chunxuan from doing what he wanted to do.

Wei Rongxing said angrily: "Annoyance, really annoyance, why does his ghost linger on."

Li Guanmian laughed, "Don't say that about your uncle."

"You are all facing him now!" After Wei Rongxing finished speaking, he immediately realized that his voice was a bit loud, and hurriedly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you."

It's just that the voice is a little louder, and I have to apologize. Li Guanmian also knows how cautious Wei Rongxing treats him now, and he really doesn't want to see this kind of situation.

Today Li Guanmian still knew he was hungry, so he ate some vegetables and eggs, and continued to do the examination.There is an interpreter, and the communication is smooth.Li Guanmian was very relaxed in front of Wei Rongxing, and would jokingly say, "Maybe this is the power of money. If I heard the news before, I might as well go to the countryside and wait to die."

Wei Rongxing was in no mood to speak before the final result came out.After a series of examinations, the two returned to the ward, and Wei Rongxing walked back and forth anxiously.

"I want to go out for a while." Li Guanmian said.

"If you recover from your illness, what do you want to do most?" Wei Rongxing asked.

Li Guanmian didn't know the level of treatment here. He thought of the period before his father's death. His father was in limbless condition and suffered from pain every day. The most common thing he said was that he was dying, and he wanted to die quickly.In the end, I was still reluctant to give up, crying and saying that I wanted to live, I wanted to see my son grow up, and I wanted to see my son marry a wife.The man was so tortured by the illness that he was disfigured and fragile. Even death was a momentary thing. The sound of crying was still in his ears, and the picture was chaotic.

"You could have been like this..." Wei Rongxing gritted his teeth, calmed down and said, "It's probably not the truth."

"I don't know either." Li Guanmian said, "It seems too far away to talk about this now."

He was pessimistic in nature, but not to the extent of actively asking for death. On this day, he and Wei Rongxing opened up, except that they did not talk about their illness.

Wei Rongxing said a lot of things, such as the details of how the two got along back then, Li Guanmian didn't remember many things, but he still had a deep memory.

"I've known for a long time that I like boys." Wei Rongxing said, "The first time I met you was from other people's mobile phones. They said you were good-looking and went to buy food from you every day. I didn't think so. When I saw you, I thought we were We will be together for the rest of our lives, and I have already thought about bringing up children."

Li Guanmian laughed, "I don't think so afterward."

Wei Rongxing still doesn't know whether Li Guanmian is aware of his dark thoughts, even if he is asked to say it now, he still finds it difficult.

He didn't mention it there, but said: "I got to know you later, although I thought you were a bit boring at the time, but it's still comfortable to get along with, I still like it, it hasn't changed."

Li Guanmian listened quietly.

Wei Rongxing said again: "Can I mention him? Although I don't want to mention it, I was kicked in the head by a donkey before I took you to that place for dinner. If you don't go, will you not be able to meet my uncle? There wasn't so much going on after that..."

"Probably." Li Guanmian said, "If I didn't know you, I definitely wouldn't know him either."

Wei Rongxing: "That won't work, you have to know me, others don't care."

Li Guanmian gave an "um" inexplicably.

Wei Rongxing said again: "My uncle is indifferent to everyone, and life and death are not a big deal to him. I still remember that once my junior high school classmate committed suicide, I cried for a long time when I heard the phone call. My uncle asked me what was wrong, and I I told him that my best friend died, and he just patted my head and told me not to be sad. Over the years, when my family members were also in critical condition, I never saw him sad, I always felt that he was not sad Like a real person, just like AI, on the day my grandma passed away, he was also very calm, and went to the company after leaving the funeral home. At that time, I hated him very much, and told my classmates that he was a cold-blooded monster."

"Many people just don't know how to express their emotions, but they are actually sad." Li Guanmian said.

Wei Rongxing said: "I know, but uncle... I don't understand him, maybe his height is different from a mortal like me. He thinks about those technologies every day. It's fine if he concentrates on researching this, but he also ... and fell in love with people." He originally wanted to say that he developed an improper relationship, but considering Li Guanmian, he changed it abruptly.

He continued: "It never occurred to me that he would be able to lay hands on someone close to me."

Li Guanmian: "It's not his problem, it's me... I don't want to owe favors, but I naively want to... take revenge on my mother, that's why."

Wei Rongxing seemed to have discovered something, and said after a while: "You never told me."

Li Guanmian said: "Too naive, too stupid, because I hate her, I don't want to see her complaining and hysterical every day, I want to follow the path she walked, I want to tell her that she walked with someone and left me for money, What does it mean to me, maybe I don’t want to make her feel better, I don’t want to save her, Wu Hui said, I forced her to death, that’s true.”

After a long time, when Li Guanmian mentioned his mother, he still couldn't control his emotions. He obviously hadn't finished talking, and tears flowed down first.

Wei Rongxing's eyes were red, he looked at Li Guanmian helplessly, and wanted to cry with him again.What he thought was that his senior had suffered too much. Not only did he have to face the death of his relatives, but he also fell ill in the end, just in case... just in case...

He didn't dare to think that the tears shed behind Li Guanmian's back were in vain, and now he was still crying for nothing.

Li Guanmian wiped away his tears indiscriminately, calmed down, and said, "I can't forgive myself, and I can't do it in this life. Fortunately, if I don't have to live so long, the days I live with guilt will be much less. Or Learn from your uncle, even if a loved one dies, he will not be sad for more than 24 hours."

Wei Rongxing comforted himself, he said: "I don't think so much, it will be cured, it will definitely be."

"Okay, let's talk about something happy." Li Guanmian looked at Wei Rongxing who had just finished crying, and said with a smile, "After a while, I might really treat you as a junior, from your uncle."

Wei Rongxing looked at him, as if he was about to cry again.

Li Guanmian continued: "I even thought about calling you nephew..."

Wei Rongxing thought for a while, then choked up and said: "If you are cured, from now on, you can call me grandson."

Li Guanmian laughed and shook her head, "It's such a huge advantage, I can't even think about it."

The atmosphere was silent again.

After a long time, Wei Rongxing also cried enough, taking advantage of being honest with each other today, he asked: "Aren't you going to tell my uncle? What do you think about him now?"

Li Guanmian looked up at the lamp, and when he looked away, there was still something like a spot of light in front of his eyes.He said: "I hope he doesn't know. Of course, it would be better if I face this alone. You don't even have to stay here with me."

He paused, thinking of Wei Rongxing's second question, he said: "Actually... Although I regret what I said to my mother, I don't regret my behavior."

Taking revenge on his mother gave him a reasonable excuse to get close to Wei Chunxuan, forcefully stand with him, and enter the same world.If he was allowed to choose again, he would not tell Liu Yujuan this fact, maybe he would still do so.

Li Guanmian thought again, maybe it was because he knew that he couldn't live like an ordinary person for so long, and if he had such an experience in his short life, it would be considered fulfilling.

I just don't want to see him right now.

Maybe you can deceive yourself and say that the world has no nostalgia.