System sister!Ask for shelter!

When people are alive, they always want to forget something.

It's like the process of being obsessed with obsession and going to failure, like the moment when you are teased by others and you are extremely embarrassing.After decades of life, everyone wants to have a more perfect life experience. They use their glamorous appearance to cover up their selfish and small souls, and at the same time keep hiding the stupid memories of their birth.

I don't know when, a humorous saying began to circulate on the Internet, called "the memory of a fish is only seven seconds, and it can forget all the pain it has experienced in an instant. 'Although this statement is just a fallacy without any scientific basis, there are still many people who are extremely envious of the convenient ability of the water elves.It is probably because human beings have the instinct to think, so even if they deliberately hide any past experience, it just disappears on the table.Everyone who has experienced it, and everyone who has witnessed the truth, is ruthlessly engraved with a mark until it is brought into the coffin.

She often thought that she probably appeared as a protector image, starting from night to morning, just like the shadow of 'that person'.Under the sunlight, it can only show a hazy blurred edge, but when the dark night comes, it is completely and smoothly spliced ​​with the night, expanding infinitely and escaping from the prototype.She was undoubtedly using a brand new way of thinking to calm down 'that person'.It sounds fantastic and absolutely indispensable.She basically couldn't figure out where she appeared from, maybe it was a mirror image from her mind?Or maybe it just comes from people's crazy imagination.

Because everyone wanted me to exist, I showed up.

"That person" is always annoying. Her unattractive mediocre appearance and lack of merit make her inferior to others. Coupled with her excessive inferiority complex attitude, everyone who gets along with her will no doubt be reluctant to accept her. Look straight at her.On the surface, everyone seemed amiable and innocent, but as soon as they turned their heads, they belittled her to nothing in private, and even breathing was a great waste.And 'that person', which is me.

"Is she mentally disturbed? She doodles in a broken notebook all night long. I thought she was writing a diary or something, but when I took it to look at it, I found it was full of messy lines and ink blobs. It looks like it was painted on by someone. Then I asked her during the day, she would sometimes stammer and say that she was just drawing for fun, and sometimes she simply refused to admit it, and looked at you stupidly as if she didn’t I know I did that." In the dormitory, a girl said angrily, she stared angrily at an empty bed, and she could tell that the people sleeping here were not so lovable.

"That's right!" Hearing this, the other girl immediately regained her spirits, she frowned and said, "What's even more wicked is that I once secretly threw her notebook into the trash can in the men's dormitory. Then she came out of her closet for no reason! It's like being haunted! It's really scary..."

The girl who had been sitting at the desk fiddling with cosmetics sighed a long time, and also interrupted. "Hey... I really don't know why people like her are transferred to our dormitory. It's really bad luck. If this continues, I will move from here to my boyfriend's house sooner or later."

"What?! You made a new boyfriend?! You didn't tell us!"

In an instant, the topic in the dormitory shifted to gossip following the boyfriend mentioned by one person just now. The collective complaints about 'that person' just now seemed to have never existed, even though the person in question was standing outside the door.I heard the truth from the beginning to the end, but at the same time, I also believe that there will be no one in it who is willing to admit their words and deeds just now.After all, the person who brought all these arguments, the person who is really at fault, is myself.

Gently pushing open the door of the dormitory, I acted as if I heard nothing and nothing happened. I lowered my head and walked towards my bed, avoiding the unfriendly factors from the outside world and the contemptuous eyes cast by my roommates. Too sharp for me to handle.

The truth is just like what those people said, these days I seem to be possessed by a demon.Every time the sky settles down, I will always do some incredible things, like thinking with a way of thinking that is completely out of my own style, staring at other people's eyes can see through the other person's thoughts, and I can't even control my hands scribbling strange lines on the white paper of the book... And every morning, when the sky is bright, the memories of what happened slowly fade away, leaving only vague details remaining in it, which looks like the spoils of my victory .And all of this is like being possessed by an unknown soul, like another person has been born in his brain...

I have seriously considered whether to go to a psychiatric hospital for help immediately, or let his behavior develop naturally.

I hesitated for a long time at this fork in the road, perhaps because both of them can bring me benefits so far, and both are enough to change my current life, so such a choice is very important.

On a little scale, if I go to the hospital immediately, the use of drug treatment can suppress the current mental abnormality, make my life gradually calm, and return to the once depressive and ordinary experience.But if you let nature take its course...that would be another ending.Although as the people in the dormitory said, every time "she" comes, I will become very strange, making people unwilling to approach, which greatly aggravates the experience of being excluded and gossiping in life, but , Asking myself that everything 'she' does is correct, even, can greatly relieve my extremely depressed state of mind.

For a long time, whenever I was overwhelmed by negative emotions, 'she' would always appear that night, comfort me gently, and give me the most suitable solution.Those messy lines were originally written by 'her', but I don't know why, when the day is coming, the densely packed small characters immediately turned into messy lines.It's like everything about her will disappear after I wake up from sleep.

"But admit it, you can't live without me."

When I saw 'her' again, she said this to me, the expression on her face looked very proud, with a hint of satisfaction.Xu Shi understands that she needs to rely on me to live, and I don't mean to deprive her of life.

"I'm probably really sick."

Later, under the intensified targeting and exclusion, I had to move out of the school dormitory and rented a place in a remote place. I applied for a suspension of school due to physical illness and other reasons. Apart from taking a few exams related to graduation, I never Don't go back to that damn place.And this is also thanks to their blessings. The long-term and quiet living environment has created good learning conditions, so that I was able to be admitted in advance by my favorite company with excellent grades when I graduated.

Compared with students, the lives of people in society are always busier, and everyone is working hard to get a better life. Compared with before, people's derogatory eyes still make me uncomfortable, but no longer It will reach the unbearable level before.I used to think that my life has ushered in a turning point since then, and this kind of thinking became even worse after I successfully got a girlfriend.And the "confidant" who appeared almost every night in my student days was also hindered by my gradually positive attitude, so I didn't appear again for a long time...as if she was my hallucination from the beginning.I smiled wantonly, it seemed that everything was gradually going uphill.

My girlfriend is an employee of the same company. We have been dating for a long time and get along very well. She knows a lot about me.Good and bad, I've told her all my secrets over the years.Although no law will agree, although it seems to be just a formality, I even prepared the engagement ring. I thought she was the woman who would accompany me to the end of my life, until the scene where she and the boss were lingering in the company. The picture in the room came into my eyes.

Everything is false.

I heard the boss ask her loudly with a smirk, whether she likes men or women.My girlfriend, panting uncontrollably, coquettishly annoyed him and said with a smile:

'That crazy gay really thinks I like her!If it wasn't for her position, how could I have contacted her! '

Everything ceased to exist.

Later, I resigned.

I heard from a former colleague in the discussion group that just a few days after I resigned, that woman was promoted by the boss to be the general manager of another department on the grounds of outstanding work, and her salary was about twice what she is now.I watched indifferently and watched.Speaking of it, I don't blame her, people, after all, everyone is thinking about how to get a better living environment and how to climb up, and she is just like that.Besides, it's really ridiculous to say, how can a person like me hope to obtain the so-called, true love?Everything is illusory.

It's been a long time since the last time, and in these days of dreams, I saw her again.The person who helped me frequently in the evenings when I was a student, the soul who filled several notebooks of mine.She is like a second me who knows everything and understands everything.I told her I wasn't angry or upset because what I was going through was just human, and she said, you're lying.

"Is the lie that has been established to comfort myself for so many years finally broken?" She smiled, seeing that I was reluctant to speak for a long time, and said to herself:

"But speaking of it, I have already guessed this ending. A person like you does not have the beautiful appearance that humans like, nor does he have a lot of money. How can he obtain the so-called 'love'? You once said However, one day I will meet someone who falls in love with you because of your inner and essence. She doesn’t care about anything modern people care about, she only cares about you. Yes, didn’t you once said that your ex-girlfriend is Such a person? So now? Are you happy?"

That's right... Re-examining such words today, I can't help but chuckle, thinking that my stupid self in the past is extremely ridiculous.

How could it be possible?

How could someone not care about external factors at all, and only like me because of the so-called essence?

Probably, it's just my idiotic dream.

The author has something to say: I tried hard for a few days, but I still couldn’t get used to getting up early, and I felt dizzy after school started (???︿???). Fortunately, the school is not too tired these days. At the beginning, it should be possible to guarantee the same update frequency as the holiday speed, but I am just a little worried that the internship starting in mid-March will delay the progress and add burden to the slow update? ? (?? Д｀?)? ?I can only pray that the internship will not be too mentally handicapped, I really feel bitter, go to sleep and calm down (hug the cute readers and drag them back to the bed|?ω?｀)