he can't be this cute

One Hundred Questions

Moderator: Mr. Merry

Guests: One man guards the gate, Jianmen Pass, crazy crucian carp.

1 May I have your name?

One: Hello everyone, I am a man in charge, do you miss me~

Sword: Jianmen Pass.

Fish: Hello everyone, I am crazy crucian carp, do you miss me~

wind:……

2 What is the age?

One: 28.

Jian: He is 27 years old, I don't know why he has to talk about his age.

Fish: Oh, I'm 27.

Feng: Sword hero, you forget yourself.

Sword: 20.

3 gender is?

One: Attack.

Sword: Gongyin receives the uncle's heart.

Fish: Receive the sound and receive the girl's heart.

Feng: what the hell...

4 What is your personality like?

One: romantic and uninhibited?

Sword: Calm on the surface, rich in heart.

Fish: cute, cute, girly.

5 The character of the other party?

One: Gentle and lovely.

Jian: It's different from what I imagined, affectionate and gentle, girlish.

Fish: Gentle and lovely!

Feng: How do affectionate, gentle and girly become adjectives for the same person...

Jian: Gentle and cute can't describe a person...

6 When did the two meet?Where?

One: Is it his birthday party?

Jian: If we meet, it will be during the club assessment.

Fish: Hmm, club assessment.

Feng: Damn, two people asked this question, why did three people answer it.

One: Guess~

7 The first impression of the other party?

One: Such a big brand?I want to teach him a lesson.

Jian: His voice is like the person I have always liked, but it is much purer than that person.

Yu: Oh my god, I just wanted to join the same club and get close to each other slowly, but I added friends directly so smoothly! ! !

Feng: You actually want to teach Swordsman a lesson, did you teach him a lesson?

One: I was taught a lesson...

8 What do you like about each other?

One: all.As long as you meet, you will like it.

Sword: Sound.

Yu: Ah, senior, do you only love my voice?

9 What do you hate about the other party?

One: No, they are all cute.

Sword: Attracting bees and butterflies, stepping on N boats, molesting CVs, seducing fans, playing with newcomers and straight men.

One: I didn't!

Sword: Being hacked is not clear.

Fish: I just like my seniors, there is nothing I hate!

10 Do you think you have a good sex with the other party?

One: Of course!

Jian: Not bad.

Fish: good good good good!

Wind: This 3P sense of sight

11 What do you call each other?

One: Call the name.The Internet will call the door master.

Sword: name.Call Mrs.

One: Can you really not call me Guanren?

Jian: Don't even think about it.

Fish: Senior~~~~~

12 How would you like to be called by the other party?

One: The name is fine.

Jian: Name, when he called my name, his voice was so nice.

Fish: Well, name it.

13 If you use an animal as a metaphor, what do you think the other person is?

One: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.

Sword: Liquor chocolate.

Feng: This is not an animal!

Yu: Ahahaha, that senior is instant noodles.

Jian: You are already a salted fish.

Feng: I feel like I can't continue hosting.

14 If you want to send a gift to the other party, would you send it?

One: myself.

Sword: All kinds of vulgar things, watches, shoes, bags, skin care products.

Fish: Lie flat.

Feng: ...Ozeki still needs skin care products? ? ?Sure enough, it was accepted.

15 So what gift would you like for yourself?

One: Just stay by my side all the time.

Jian: Just like each other, I don't necessarily have to be a gong.

Fish: Let me put a lot of things in the bathroom... I don't want to wash from head to toe with another soap.

16 Are you dissatisfied with the other party?What is it normally?

One: If I like it, why don't I say it!

Jian: Molested too much Xiaoshou.

Fish: Never tell me who that ancient god is.

17 What is your problem?

One: I am so perfect, how can there be problems

Sword: Partial belief leads to darkness.

Fish: fine, fine points...

Wind: Hahahahahaha

18 What is the opponent's problem?

One: Trust others too much, but don't trust me.

Jian: Molested too much Xiaoshou.

Yu: It's all just a joke, senior!Why don't you believe it!

19 What kind of things does the other party do to make you unhappy?

One: There is no unhappiness, only unconfidence.Exercise, calligraphy, tea ceremony, everything, it's too omnipotent, and I'm not happy.

Jian: Molested others, well I know, cheat and hide it.

Fish: I am happy to do whatever senior does!

Feng: You can also speak idioms...

20 What did you do that made the other person unhappy?

One: Molesting Xiaoshou, being hacked without clarification, deceiving and concealing.

Jian: Hehe, he is willing to do whatever I do.

Fish: Also, use Bangbang to develop by yourself?

Feng: This has not reached the last 50 questions... Please be healthy.

21 How far is your relationship?

One: Take it apart and eat it into your stomach.

Jian: Take off your vest and meet frankly?

Yu: Fans know it all!

Feng: I don't think they know the whole truth... half and half.

22 Where did two people first date?

One: Well, if it’s formal, let’s watch the lights together.

Jian: It's okay to eat for the first time, and we often watch movies together.

Fish: Hahahaha then go to the supermarket.

23 What was the atmosphere of the two of them at that time?

One: Blush and heartbeat.

Jian: He is very good at teasing.

Yu: Counting the lantern show, I was really happy and excited.

24 How far has it progressed then?

One: He touched my ear.

Jian: I kissed his finger.

Fish: Then say goodbye.

Feng: Is this still the one man guarding the gate that I know?How can it be so pure.

25 frequent date spots?

One: tea house.

Sword: Scenic Area.

Fish: Cinema.

Feng: It's not sex at home.

One: After all, we are so pure hahahaha!

26 What kind of preparations will you make for the other party's birthday?

One: Make a candlelight dinner.

Sword: navel orange.

Fish: Take the initiative to lie flat.

27 Which party confessed first?

One: It’s me.

Sword: him.

Fish: It's me! ! ! !

Feng: At this time, Jian Daxia, you should cooperate and say "them"!

28 How much do you like each other?

One: Willing to suffer?

Jian: dare not approach.

Fish: I am willing to do whatever the senior says.

29 So, do you love each other?

One: Love.

Sword: Love.

Fish: Love!

30 What does the other person say that makes you feel wrong?

One: He said he hated me.

Jian: Shaking the wavy lines and calling out to seniors.

Fish: One glance is enough, there is no need to speak at all.

31 If you feel that the other party is suspected of changing his mind, what will you do?

One: Drag that guy into a grove for a duel, and let him be fucked without lubrication!

Feng: So cruel, do you do it yourself or...

One: I don't do this kind of thing!

Jian: Tell him I don't like him anymore, let him go.

Yu: Then continue to be a fan of brains!Senior, can't you tie me up and lock me up at home and never let me go out again!

Jian: I know you have M tendency, try it next time.

wind:……

32 Can you forgive the other party for changing his mind?

One: Can't, can't, can't!

Sword: No.

Fish: Senior is mine!You can't change your mind!

Feng: Damn, is he yours or Ozeki's?

Jian: It's better not to entangle this issue with schizophrenic patients.

33 What should I do if the other party is more than one hour late for a date?

One: Go pick him up.

Jian: Wait.

Fish: Go pick him up!

35 The other party's sexy expression?

One: I won't tell you!

Sword: Sweating all over but holding back.

Fish: As long as I call his name, he will be very sexy.

36 When two people are together, what makes you feel your heart beat faster?

One: Sudden confirmation of our relationship on the Internet.

Jian: He called my name.And say you love me in front of so many people.

Fish: Well, I raised my neck and whimpered.

38 What do you feel happiest when doing?

One: Do nothing, be together.

Jian: Look at the back of him cooking.

Fish: I found out that he likes me so much!

39 Ever quarreled?

One: No.

Sword: None.

Fish: It's amazing that we didn't quarrel!

40 What are the quarrels?

slightly.

How to reconcile after 41?

slightly.

42 Do you still want to be lovers after reincarnation?

First, we must!

Jian: Do you still believe in reincarnation?If people have reincarnation, there must be a previous life, a previous life, billions of years ago before the species was formed, where did the soul come from, and billions of years later the universe will perish, where will we be?

Fish: =mouth=

Wind: =mouth=

One: You...don't you still believe in Buddhism...

Jian: I recite Buddhist scriptures just to meditate, not honesty.

Feng: However, what you said is still very Zen-like...

43 When do you feel loved?

One: Ever since I knew he liked me, I felt loved all the time.

Sword: Willing to suffer?No, it's not, it should be when I'm at home, when I'm being taken care of.

Fish: When he smiled at me, I felt bathed in love.

44 What is your expression of love?

One: Treat him well and let him attack.

Sword: Watch silently.

Fish: Say you love him.

45 When did you feel "you don't love me anymore"?

One: No.

Sword: Not anymore.

Yu: I never felt that being loved is the one who loves you the most.

Feng: Neuropathy...

Jian: He is terminally ill and cannot be cured.As I said earlier, when I laughed, he felt loved, smart and forgetful.

46 What do you think is the flower that matches the other party?

One: Gladiolus.In fact, I don't know what the sword orchid looks like hahahaha, as long as you have a sword.Or rapeseed!Very talented!

Sword: Bird of Paradise.

Wind: why?

Sword: Chic, affectionate, coquettish and a bitch...

Fish: What about me?

Sword: Cosmos...

Fish: what is that?

Sword: Maiden's Heart...

Wind: Hahahahahahahaha!

Jian: Actually, I think, I am more suitable for Sunflower.

One: Ah, I know this... I am moved.

47 Is there something the two of you are hiding from each other?

One: Not anymore.

Jian: The vest was stripped off.

Fish: No more!It was exposed by Mr. Merry!

Feng: But you still keep it from your fans.

48 Where does your inferiority complex come from?

One: I am old, but he is still so young.

Jian: There are too many people like him, but I am not one of them.

Fish: I'm afraid that one day if I become dumb, he won't love me anymore.

wind:……

49 Is the relationship between the two open or secret?

One: It is open to good friends.

Jian: Is it also open to fans?

Fish: But they don't know what I'm doing.

50 Do you think the love with each other can last forever?

One: I will always love him.

Sword: Yes.

Fish: Of course!

51 May I ask whether you are the attacker or the recipient?

One: accept.

Sword: accept.

Fish: accept.

Feng: Damn, do you still attack?

52 Why did you make such a decision?

One: No decision.

Sword: Let nature take its course.

Fish: The senior said that I can only suffer.In fact, there are more swords, but there are very few swordfish.

53 Are you satisfied with the current situation?

One: Very satisfied.

Jian: Yes.

Fish: Satisfied and satisfied.

Feng: Swordfish are rare and you are still satisfied.

Yu: I am satisfied with just one sword, hahaha.

54 The location of the first H?

One: On the bed.

Jian: Well...my family...

Fish: Hmm, on the bed.

55 How did you feel at that time?

One: excited.

Sword: It's amazing.

Fish: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

56 What did the other party look like at that time?

One: ... Misty.

Sword: Sexy and strong, enthusiastic but forbearing.

Fish: In fact, it was harmonized!

57 What is your first word in the morning of the first night?

One: Ah, are you awake?

Jian: Why do you want to eat porridge?

Fish: Because I ate all the leftover cake from yesterday?

Feng: Hahahahaha foodies!

58 times per week H?

One: Not necessarily, it depends on your mood, but if you do a full set, you only need to do it once a week, after all...you can't overuse it.

Jian: Yes.

Yu: Tired and tired, I kissed me many times!countless!

59 Under ideal circumstances, how many times a week?

One: Once a week.

Sword: Once a day.

Fish: Huh? ? ?Senior, you actually...

Sword: (blush)

60 So, what kind of H is it?

One: Harmony Movement.

Jian: It is very natural, I trust him with all my heart.

Fish: Very comfortable~

61 Your most sensitive place?

One: indescribable.

Sword: ears.

Fish: indescribable.

62 What is the most sensitive part of the other party?

One: Ear, call his name in his ear and he will...

Sword: indescribable.

Fish: In fact, it should be sensitive to sound?

63 Use one sentence to describe the other party at H?

One: Sexy and attractive.

Jian: It's so beautiful, the peach blossom eyes seem to be crying.

Feng: Who are you attacking...

64 Frankly speaking, do you like H?

One: How could you not like it.

Jian: I like it.

Fish: Love it!

65 Where is H in general?

One: On the bed, once in the car.

Sword: home.

Fish: home.

66 H places you want to try?

One: bathroom, kitchen, living room.

Jian: In the kitchen, in the box of the tea house, in the small garden of my old house.

Yu: Senior, you...you are not afraid that your aunt will see you...

67 Is the shower before or after H?

One: It depends on the situation. Except for being too eager at the first few times, I will wash it back and forth afterwards.

Jian: Yes.

Fish: We are very hygienic!

Is there any agreement at 68H?

One: Does this require an agreement?

Sword: None.

Fish: just lie flat.

69 Have you ever had sex with someone other than your lover?

One: ah... uh...

Sword: None.

Fish: yes...

70 Do you agree or disagree with the idea of ​​"If you can't get the heart, at least you have to get the body"?

One: I want to give the body.

Sword: Against.

Yu: I don't mind being a stand-in.

71 If the other party is raped by thugs, what would you do?

One: Damn, who dares to kill him!

Jian: Call the police and arrest him, comfort him.But I always feel that it is good if he does not force others, and it is unlikely that he will be raped.

Fish: Senior, it is impossible for me to do such a thing!I want to kill the mob!

72 Do you feel embarrassed in front of H?or later?

One: No.

Jian: There will be a little bit, but in fact there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Fish: When you lie down, you will be so shy...

Feng: Are you shy or not...

73 If a good friend said to you "I'm lonely, so only tonight, please..." and asked for H, would you?

One: I will never agree!

Jian: I don't have this kind of friend.

Fish: Senior, trust me!I wouldn't do it with anyone but you!

74 Do you think you are good at H?

One: Of course!

Sword: Not good at it.

Fish: Not good at it, not good at it!

Feng: Are you good at it or not...

75 What about the other party?

One: Uh... Navel oranges are great.

Sword: Very good technique.

Fish: As long as he, he is happy...I won't force anything else.

76 What do you want the other party to say when you are in H?

One: You don’t need to speak, just breathing sounds nice.

Jian: Call my name.

Yu: Don't talk, seniors will be ashamed, so it's fine.

77 Which kind of expression do you like the other person when H?

One: I like them all, ah, biting your lips looks the best.

Jian: Sweaty forehead, red eyes.

Fish: Bite your lip, but I'm a little afraid of breaking it.

78 Do you think it is okay to have sex with people other than lovers?

One: No, that's why I gradually stopped going to bars, it's boring.

Sword: No.

Fish: Of course not!

79 Are you interested in □□?

One: No!

Jian: I'm not sure because I don't know.But sometimes I want to fuck him and make him kneel down and be obedient.

Yu: (kneeling) Senior, I am willing to listen to you.

Feng: ...I feel that you can develop the properties of DOM and SUB.

One: What is this?

Jian: Forget it, don’t, it’s fine now.

One: Why do you all understand that I don’t!I'm ashamed of being the number one scumbag in China!

80 If the other party suddenly stopped asking for your body, would you?

One: Hey?I will be very worried.

Jian: He often doesn't ask for it because he is afraid of hurting himself, but we have other ways. If there are no other ways, I will ask to see what the situation is.

Fish: Hmm, let me ask about the situation.

81 What do you think of Qiang X?

One: Accept incompetence.

Sword: criminal.

Fish: Ah, senior, please be strong X!

Feng: ...You guys should develop it, I think his tendency is very serious.

Jian: Well, try next time.

What is the more painful thing in 82H?

One: Pain.

Jian: It seems not.

Fish: It hurts.

Feng: How bad is the sword hero's technique...

Fish: No, it should be my physical problem?I am particularly afraid of pain.

Jian: Well, he will cry.

Feng: The girl's attack is really scary.

One: I don’t cry when I’m doing gongs!

83 In the H so far, which place makes you most excited and anxious?

One: The most exciting thing is the first time.Anxious... let's talk later.

Jian: That time in the car.

Fish: The most anxious thing is lying flat...

84 Have you ever been seduced by the recipient?

One: No, how about tempting me next time?

Sword: Yes.

Fish: What?when.

Jian: Well, it was you who tempted me.

Fish: Well...

85 What was the attacking side's expression at that time?

One: I don’t know.

Jian: Should it still be expressionless?But the heart is very excited.

Fish: Really?Why didn't I see it at all!

Feng: I really don't understand which of you is the sufferer.

86 Has the offensive side ever acted too aggressively?

One: No.

Sword: None.

Yu: No, senior come and rape me.

Jian: Are you afraid of pain?

Fish: That's right...forget it then.

Jian: There are in the play.

One: Yes, yes, hahahaha I am satisfied.

Feng: What is so satisfying about this...

87 What was the recipient's reaction at that time?

One: No.

Jian: The words in the play, I heard the finished product, he breathed too temptingly.

Fish: So senior, did you really play handjob? !

Sword: No!

88 For you, what is the ideal of "being an H object"?

One: door master.

Sword: Madame.

wind:? ? ?Little crucian carp no longer say a word?

Fish: Ah, ah, senior.

Feng: There is always a feeling that the little crucian carp is so pitiful...

Fish: Hey hey it's nothing.

89 Does the current partner meet your ideal?

One: Yes.

Jian: Yes.

Fish: Of course!

Did 90 use small props in H?

One: I tried it, but he wouldn't let me use it.

Jian: You are mine, even Bang Bang.

Fish: So there is still no way to develop well.

Feng: Hahahahaha, if you can do this, why do you have to change positions.

Yu: Because senior is so aggressive, I'm afraid he won't want to do it and go out to find someone else.

Jian: No, although it's quite comfortable on it, I really don't care about it.

One: Look!He said it was comfortable!

wind:……

91 When did it happen to you for the first time?

One: When I was in college.

Sword: University.

Yu: When I was in college, my senior was still in junior high school...

92 Was the object at that time the current lover?

One: No.

Sword: Yes.

Yu: That's why I want to give the first time to my seniors~

Jian: I don't have a virgin complex, thank you.

93 Where is your favorite place to be kissed?

One: lips.

Sword: ears.

Fish: Can you say an indescribable place?

94 Where do you like to kiss each other most?

One: lips, ears.

Sword: collarbone.

Fish: Well, ears.

What is the most pleasing thing for the other party at 95H?

One: indescribable.

Sword: Panting.

Fish: Kneel down and lick it?

Jian: ... Can this be described? !

Feng: Swordsman, you...

What will you think at 96H?

One: He likes me, he will only like me.

Jian: What else can you think about?I can't think of anything.

Fish: I love him.

97 H times per night?

One: What's the matter with this problem, didn't you say it earlier?Once a week.

Jian: Didn't you ask how to get to the end?

Fish: That's how often it is, I can't describe it if I'm tired of kissing me.

At 98 hours, do you take off your clothes yourself, or does the other party help you take them off?

One: I take it off.

Jian: Usually I don't do much.

Fish: I'll take it off!

What is 99 H to you?

One: Express love in the most intimate way.

Sword: Owning and being owned is amazing.

Fish: It's love.

100 Please say something to your lover

One: @jianmenguan, door master, let's CP.

Jian: @一夫托关, yes, madam.

Wind: Is it over?What about the little crucian carp?

Fish: @剑门关@一夫当关, I wish you happiness!

wind:……

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