i don't want to die again

The sound of unlocking came from outside the house, and the sound of dragging footsteps extended to the center of the living room before stopping abruptly. The old sofa creaked under heavy weight for a while, and everything returned to silence.

Xu Shunian knew that his father had returned, but he was still sitting on the bed in a daze. He had been sitting like this all afternoon, thinking about one thing.

He wanted to leave this smoky place, a place he still felt strange after staying for three days.

Three days ago, before he was sent home by rescuers in a scenic spot on the outskirts of the city, he was taken to the hospital for a detailed examination. The result of the examination was that everything was normal except for slight dehydration.

But Xu Shunian, who was in good health, lost his memory after being lost in the mountains alone for two nights.

He has no memory of his own identity, and his mind seems to be stuffed with cotton. Except for the experience of wandering in the mountains and forests for a long time after waking up, other memories seem to be blocked by cotton, and there is only a barren blank.

However, the highly skilled police quickly confirmed his identity: Xu Shunian, male, 20 years old, a sophomore student in the Finance Department of University A, who lives in the West District of City A.

The confused Xu Shunian was quickly sent home.

The man who opened the door was Xu Shunian's father. Xu's father was in his 40s, reeking of alcohol, and let Xu Shunian in impatiently. Staff are locked out.

When he learned about Xu Shunian's amnesia, Father Xu was drunk, so he didn't know if he remembered it, but as soon as he sobered up, he immediately instructed Xu Shunian to cook him something to eat.

Xu Shunian soon realized that he didn't know how to cook at all. After a while, he served a bowl of noodles, and all he got was a slap in the face.

Xu Shunian was stunned by the beating at that time, and he didn't respond to the man's yelling, but a line of tears dripped from the corner of his eyes unconsciously, and he didn't know if it was because of the pain or what, but he felt that the depression in his chest was better than the burning pain on his face It's also uncomfortable.

The man seemed to have finally remembered his amnesia, cursed "prodigal stuff" and ordered takeaway by himself.

Xu Shunian ate the pile of badly boiled noodles by himself, and he didn't dare to throw away the rest in front of the man, so he just used a bowl and put it in the refrigerator, and took it out to reheat it next time.

In the next few days, Xu Shunian hid in the room in order not to contact him when the man was at home, and spent the rest of the time searching for clues related to his past in this messy house, and the more he learned , he became more and more determined to leave here.

From the backpack and his bedroom that were sent back together, Xu Shunian found a small pile of things that could prove his past experience.

Especially the dead cell phone, when Xu Shunian turned it on after charging, he saw a bunch of missed calls.

Almost all the calls were from a number labeled "counselor". Xu Shunian called the other party, and immediately asked him what was going on as soon as he got through, as if he had already learned that he was in danger in the scenic spot.

The thought that immediately popped into Xu Shunian's mind at that time was: He was going back to school.

In fact, as long as he can leave here, he can go anywhere, but now the only thing he can think of is school.

The counselor was relieved after learning about his condition, but he still suggested that he rest at home for two days, and he could grant him a long vacation, but Xu Shunian refused, saying that he had recovered and would return to school soon. It didn't stop any more.

But to leave, Xu Shunian had to be rich.

Except for a five-yuan bill that he found in his wallet, he didn't even find a bank card signed by himself. He even went to his bedroom to search while the man was away, but found nothing. , not even a coin.

He had no choice but to try to ask a man for some money. Without money, it would be difficult for him to leave here.

As the evening approached, the sky outside the window had begun to darken. Xu Shunian mustered up the courage to push open the door, and saw a man slumped on the sofa looking at his mobile phone.

He clenched his fingers on the doorknob, paused for a few seconds, and then walked forward.

The man just rolled his eyelids when he saw him. Normally, as long as Xu Shunian didn't appear in front of him, this man seemed to forget that he had such a son.

Xu Shunian walked up to the man, and unconsciously clenched the corner of his clothes with his fingers. After hesitating for a while, he hesitated and said, "I...I want to go back to school, can you...give me some money."

The man raised his eyebrows and looked at him as soon as he heard it. When Xu Shunian raised his head, he was so frightened by the look that he took a step back unconsciously.

"You're already twenty, and you're still asking me for money! You're getting skinny again, aren't you?"

The man's anger came as soon as he said it, and before he finished speaking, he picked up the empty wine bottle on the coffee table and greeted Xu Shunian.

Xu Shunian dodged subconsciously, but was kicked by the man who jumped up from the sofa and fell to the ground. The man kicked him hard as if venting, and then stopped to take a breath, feeling tired and ready to go to the bathroom to wash his hands He was still cursing when he touched his face.

"I suffer from hardships outside every day. I don't know how to be filial to my father when I raise a thing like you. I have the same virtue as your bitch mother. I only know how to ask me for money. When I see money, I run away. It's all these Shameless prodigal stuff..."

Xu Shunian's back was against the edge of the sofa, and the pain in his arms, chest and abdomen made him almost out of breath, especially the kick on his abdomen, which almost paralyzed his nerves.

But he still supported the sofa and stood up, clutching his stomach before the man came back, tried his best to move back to the room, locked the door with his backhand, then slid and sat behind the door, pressing his stomach and gasping for breath.

After being slapped for the first time, Xu Shunian never shed tears because of it. Apart from the pain in his body, he only had numbness and coldness in his heart.

Leave tomorrow, and never go back to this place again.

He thought this over and over again in his heart.

Before dawn the next day, Xu Shunian got up.

I went to the refrigerator to find a bowl of half-cooked vegetable porridge left over from yesterday. I put it in the microwave for a while and drank it. After I was done, I washed the bowl and put it in the cupboard.

A man's heavy snoring came from the master bedroom, and he might not even know that the house was burned down at this time.

Returning to his room, he brought up the luggage he had prepared last night, which was a simple backpack. Xu Shunian opened the door and left. After going downstairs, he went straight out of the old gate and left without looking back. This neighborhood.

He only has five yuan in cash with him. In order to get to the school smoothly, he has studied the route to the campus of University A for a long time. I don’t know if it is because of memory loss. He has to adapt to using his mobile phone for a long time. Finally, he finally found it. The most economical route is to walk to the bus stop at the nearby street corner first, then take the No. [-] bus, turn to No. [-] bus after six stops, and get off at A Daximen.

At this time, one side of the sky had just emerged from the rising sun, and there were only a few pedestrians on the road. Xu Shunian looked at both sides from time to time when he was walking towards the intersection while looking at the mobile phone navigation alone.

On both sides of the old street, except for some early shops where people are busy, the rest are quietly closed doors.

When passing a residential building with a string of "demolition" painted in red paint, Xu Shunian glanced inadvertently through the glass door of a dusty store, but unexpectedly saw a figure in red.

Xu Shunian was very puzzled, the residents of this building had obviously been evacuated, why were there still people standing there?

Thinking of this, he walked towards the storefront, and when he stood in front of the glass door, he saw the back of a woman more clearly, sitting in the dark and messy room, motionless.

The woman's back was very straight, but her head was tilted slightly. Her long hair was gathered around her shoulders, and it didn't look smooth, as dry as a handful of weeds.

Xu Shunian felt that the woman's posture was weird, but he couldn't tell what was weird. When he raised his hand to close the door and window, someone behind him suddenly made a sound, which startled him.

Turning around, he saw an old man carrying a plastic bag staring at him strangely.

The old man looked at him for a while, and asked suspiciously: "Young man, what are you doing here?"

Xu Shunian pointed to the inside of the glass door in front of him, and said a little awkwardly: "I saw..."

Halfway through speaking, he opened his eyes wide in surprise, and was stunned to see the empty storefront in front of him. The broken box where the woman was sitting was still there, but the woman had disappeared.

The old man looked at Xu Shunian with worried eyes, sighed and said, "Don't stay up all night, young man. It's not energetic to have dark circles under your eyes at a young age, and your mind is easy to get confused."

When Xu Shunian came back to his senses, he really suspected that he was not clear-headed. He hadn't been able to sleep well in that room for the past few days, and he tossed and turned last night.

So he nodded at the uncle, "Understood, uncle."

Seeing that he was a child who obeyed discipline, the uncle nodded in satisfaction, then took him to the middle of the road, and told him in a low voice: "Don't stand here, there have been murders here, don't stay too long, it's not good .”

Xu Shunian looked back, still a little puzzled in his heart, but he didn't inquire curiously. Instead, he asked the uncle for directions and said goodbye before continuing to the bus station.

After exchanging coins with the aunt who sold breakfast at the intersection, Xu Shunian got on a bus. After sitting down on the window seat of the bus, he hugged his backpack a little at a loss, leaned his head on the window sill, and looked out the window quietly. A passing street scene.

The morning light gradually brightened, and because it was early autumn, the air outside was refreshingly cool.

Although he still didn't have any school-related memories in his mind, Xu Shunian looked at the student card in his hand, his brows and eyes stretched unconsciously, and he looked forward to the future school life.

When he finally came to the gate of the school, Xu Shunian stood in the crowd of people passing in and out, looking around blankly.

He couldn't remember where his dormitory and classroom were, so he had no choice but to call the counselor again.

The other party learned that Xu Shunian didn't even remember her dormitory, so she asked Xu Shunian to go directly to her office to find herself. Xu Shunian had no choice but to ask all the way to the counselor's office.

The counselor is not tall and looks only 26. She is a very kind female teacher.

As soon as she saw Xu Shunian, she asked him this and that with concern, especially when she saw Xu Shunian's complexion was a little pale and there was a scratch on his cheek, she was even more worried to check whether there was anything wrong with his body question.

Xu Shunian explained that he was just hung on a tree branch in the mountains, and his bad face was because he didn't sleep well last night. As for not remembering the dormitory and classes, he could only pretend to be natural and said that he just had a concussion. It will recover in a while.

The counselor dubiously printed out a copy of his dormitory and class course information, and when handing it to him, he also asked to give feedback to the school in time if there was any problem.

Kong Fengshu nodded again and again. When he walked out of the office building, he was in a relaxed mood. He repeatedly looked at the documents in his hand. He didn't know why he was feeling both expectant and nervous.

So when he took out the keys from his bag for a long time, and tried several times one by one before opening the door of the dormitory, and found that there was no one inside, he still felt a little bit disappointed.

When I walked into the dormitory, I saw that clothes and socks were thrown everywhere in a mess, and there were piles of unfinished instant noodle buckets and the remains of biscuits that were broken on the ground and no one swept them up.

Xu Shunian sighed, and immediately cleaned up all the rubbish on the ground. The roommate's desk didn't move, he just put the shoes that were scattered around the house in pairs and placed them on both sides, and the rubbish that had accumulated for a long time was also thrown out. The whole dormitory was actually quite clean and refreshing.

Looking at his own results, Xu Shunian sat back in his seat with satisfaction, wiped the table with toilet paper, and tidied up all the messy things, and then found a small bag in the cabinet, which contained more than 500 yuan The cash and a bank card surprised him a lot.

Just as he was seriously studying his schedule, the door lock of the dormitory rang.