nostalgia

Sitting at Zhong Jinxi's house, Yi Yan was still a little nervous, looking out through the peephole or opening the corner of the curtain to see if there was any suspicious person below.

"Don't worry, I paid attention when I picked you up, there is no suspicious person around, and you are disguised like this, no one will notice, come and sit." Zhong Jinxi handed him a cup of coffee.

Yi Yan took off the wig on his head and said, "My manager originally forbade me to go out, so I'm always afraid that something might go wrong."

"I'm really sorry to call you out at this time, and I will send you back safely later."

"Brother Jinxi, don't be so polite, do you have something to tell me?" Yi Yan sat down facing Zhong Jinxi.

"I have something to ask you."

Zhong Jinxi later turned on his phone and saw that among the missed calls, there was a call from Yi Yan on the day of Li Suran's car accident. He thought that Yi Yan must know something.

He always felt that he should figure out the ins and outs of the matter, even if he couldn't change the result, at least he had a complete explanation to himself.

"Well, what do you want to ask?"

"Before, I meant that three years ago, I accidentally left my mobile phone at home, and I didn't find it until recently. I saw that you called me the day Li Suran left. I want to know what you wanted to say to me at that time. .”

They missed each other like this, they rubbed shoulders because of a small link, but even with regret, Yi Yan knew that there must be a reason for Li Suran to hide from Zhong Jinxi, so he lowered his head and didn't dare to look Zhong Jinxi in the eye , Said: "I can't remember what I wanted to say at the time."

"Then let me help you recall, because Li Suran had a car accident, so you want to inform me?" Zhong Jinxi said directly.

"You know Brother Su Ran was in a car accident?"

"Yes, I learned about it from a friend." Zhong Jinxi didn't mention the day when he confronted Li Suran, he couldn't give Yi Yan a reason to refuse to tell him the truth.

"Yes... Brother Su Ran did have a big car accident that day."

Every time Zhong Jinxi thinks of this, his heart becomes flustered. Fortunately, nothing happened to him. Fortunately, he is still there.

Zhong Jinxi nodded and said, "I also know that Li Suran had a car accident that day because he wanted to stay."

"Yes."

"That's the problem. Since he decided to stay, why did he go to study abroad later? Did something happen that I don't know?"

It seems that he doesn't know enough, Yi Yan thought.

"Why do you want to know? Now that you have all found your own happiness, why do you want to break this balance? I think you may have asked Brother Su Ran before asking me, why didn't he Tell you the truth? Since he didn't say it, it's probably inappropriate for me to tell you about it, bro Jinxi." Yi Yan said calmly.

Zhong Jinxi smiled. He underestimated this boy who seemed to be unable to hide things in his heart. In a few years, everyone seemed to have changed. Why should he be foolish about the past?

"Yi Yan, I also know that it seems meaningless to do this. After all, it's all in the past. For Li Suran, I think I hate him all the time. I gave a lot, so when the return is less than what I gave , I will not be able to let go of it for a long time."

Yi Yan interrupted him: "You are wrong, Brother Su Ran loves you more than you imagined! I am an outsider, what I see is the fact without any emotional color, which is more pertinent than what you feel , so stop immersing yourself in the sadness you think, that will make you blind to the truth."

"So, I broke free." Zhong Jinxi stretched exaggeratedly, but the smile was a bit forced, "The reason why I still struggle with the past is because-I found that I still love him, and it hasn't changed due to any factors. So, can you help me?"

Yi Yan showed a look of embarrassment, but compared to the firmness before, there seemed to be a little room for turning around. A hint of cunning flashed across Zhong Jinxi's face, and it seemed that a bigger dose had to be added.

"Yi Yan, do you know why I broke up with Li Suran - I am the guide/fire/suo." Zhong Jinxi began to brew emotions.

"do not know."

"It's because they can't trust each other. He even suspected that I did it with Jiang Luyu. He didn't believe me no matter how I explained it. Another time I knew he was at home with someone else, but he lied to me Said that he was outside, when I tried to test him and said that he wanted to go to his house to get something, he quickly turned off the light, if there is no problem, how could this happen?"

From time to time, looking at the person opposite in cold sweat, Zhong Jinxi felt that sometimes - he was quite despicable.

"Brother Jinxi, stop talking, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I'm the one who caused you to break up, I'm sorry." The little sheep blamed himself to death, and didn't pay any attention to that big bad wolf's triumphant expression. "It was all because of me that time. I went to the audition and invited Brother Su Ran to accompany me. I was afraid that it would be embarrassing if I didn't succeed, so I let him hide it from everyone. I didn't expect him to lie, which caused your misunderstanding. I'm really sorry."

It turned out to be like this... Originally, I only intended to make Yi Yan feel guilty and tell the truth, but unexpectedly, the misunderstanding was resolved. Zhong Jinxi was a little dazed for a while. Yi Yan had never had anything to do with Li Suran There was a trace of ulterior motives, but he was jealous of him indiscriminately, but after many years, the one standing next to Li Suran was Shen Yao who he had never thought about, which was really ironic.Helpless is helpless, but Zhong Jinxi still has to pretend to be melancholy.

"It turned out to be a misunderstanding," sighed: "It can only be said that love was not at the right time. If there were no misunderstandings, maybe we are still very happy together now. I don't know why Li Suran would hide these things from me , but what I can tell you is that even after several years, I still can't let him go, you understand?"

Yi Yan finally couldn't resist the guilt he felt towards them in his heart, sighed, and said slowly: "Actually—brother Su Ran couldn't hear, in that car accident."

Li Suran was very glad that Zhong Jinxi missed the call, he didn't know how to face him at that time.Even the doctor couldn't tell if it was temporary or permanent deafness, how should he tell Zhong Jinxi?

When the whole world is as quiet as if it doesn't exist, no matter how much you tell yourself you're fine, your heart will explode in fear.

I can't hear the car whistle, I can't hear the conversation of people around me, I can't even hear my own voice, like a lonely soul from an unknown world, I can't feel all the breath of this world, destroying all my own The sense of existence, that feeling, is so terrifying that it cannot be described.

During that time, Li Suran closed himself up, he didn't speak or do anything, he was just in a daze all day long, it was Shen Yao who pulled Li Suran out of his world little by little, trying every means Pass.

Until many days later, when Li Suran raised his first smile, Yi Yan will always remember that Shen Yao turned around to hide his red eyes in the name of pouring water.

Later, Shen Yao took Li Suran to actively do rehabilitation. They worked very hard, but the effect was mediocre. Li Suran's right ear still had no hearing at all, and his left ear only improved to weak hearing.

Li Suran said that he still wanted to study abroad, and he couldn't indulge himself for weak reasons.

With hearing aids and lip language learned during this period, just such a person set foot in a foreign country.

Yi Yan thought, the reason why Li Suran left Zhong Jinxi was more or less due to inferiority factors. Zhong Jinxi was so perfect and loved perfection so much, would he accept him like that?And what else can I give him after hurting him so much?

Besides, at that time, beside the perfect Zhong Jinxi, there was an equally perfect Lin Xu.

After sending Yi Yan back, Zhong Jinxi returned to the apartment in a trance, and ran into Li Suran and Shen Yao while taking the elevator.

He didn't dare to look at Li Suran, he was afraid that he would be defeated with just one glance. As for Shen Yao, Zhong Jinxi rarely took the initiative to greet him with a nod. , pay in your own way.

Without Shen Yao, Li Suran might have been depressed forever.Zhong Jinxi wanted to thank him, but he couldn't say it, what identity should he use to say it?The current Li Suran does not belong to Zhong Jinxi.

He couldn't understand Li Suran's hesitation and helplessness, and he didn't participate in helping him get out of the most difficult time. He couldn't understand the feelings of Shen Yao and Li Suran.

After knowing everything, I realized that I was just an outsider.

When I got home, I found that Lin Xu had already prepared dinner. Every time I saw him wearing a cartoon-patterned apron, I always felt very happy, and my mood would be much better in an instant.

He took off his apron and said with a smile: "It's really time for you to come back. It must be the smell of my vegetables that brought you back."

Zhong Jinxi put on fluffy slippers, which he and Lin Xu saw by accident. Zhong Jinxi's was a lecherous cat with a pair of tiny paws in front, while Lin Xu's was a dull-looking mouse , with a small tail behind it.Lin Xu said, looking at the situation, you want to eat me to death, Zhong Jinxi raised an eyebrow and smiled noncommittally.

Suddenly, he didn't know how to communicate with Lin Xu casually, and he didn't dare to look him in the eyes as if he had done something wrong, but only smirked slightly awkwardly.

After a meal, Lin Xu told him about the funny things that happened in the music room today, but he just listened, and from time to time he responded twice to show that he was listening, even though the laughter didn't sound thick .

I have never felt that the time with Lin Xu was so difficult, why is he so distracted at this moment, maybe Zhong Jinxi has never been a person who can hide things in his heart.

In the past, he could chat with Lin Xu about anything, but now he just wants to hide it. Now he is like a person who cheated on his feelings, and he can't be transparent no matter what.

Such emotions lasted until the evening, until Zhong Jinxi was surrounded by fiery kisses, before Lin Xu could go any further, Zhong Jinxi rushed to say: "I am very tired from being busy in the gallery today."

Seeing Lin Xu startled, Zhong Jinxi said coquettishly, "Look at me working so hard, you still have the heart to make me tired."

Lin Xu smiled: "Then let me give you a massage."

"No, you've been tired all day, I'll just have a good sleep."

Lin Xu pulled the quilt for him, and said softly, "Okay, then go to sleep."

Turn off the light, then turn around and put Zhong Jinxi in his arms and close his eyes.

A tear fell into the pillow towel, Lin Xu, I'm sorry.