nostalgia

Zhong Jinxi sat on the chair covering his head, and Lin Xu next to him patted him on the shoulder, not knowing how to comfort him.

The red light sign "in operation" has never been extinguished. Zhong Jinxi's mother has passed out. When the second critical illness notice was issued, she was arranged to rest in an adjacent ward, and she still hasn't woken up yet. .A few sisters went to take care of their mother, while Zhong Jinxi stayed here waiting for his father to come out.

And just 10 minutes ago, the hospital issued a third critical illness notice.

At that time, Zhong Jinxi tightly covered his ears, stubbornly thinking that his father would definitely come out.

That was the god in his heart, how could he fall down so easily.

The phone in his jacket pocket vibrated, and Zhong Jinxi's body trembled as if he had been frightened. It wasn't until Lin Xu patted him on the back that he calmed down and fumbled to pick up the phone.

At this time, Zhong Jinxi was more like a bubble, unable to withstand any impact, otherwise it would be completely shattered.

"Did you call me just now? I didn't hear it just now. What's the matter?"

"Li Suran..." I wanted to see him so much, and told him how helpless I was. Just as I was about to speak, the operating light suddenly went out, and Zhong Jinxi's heart was in his throat, so he finished eagerly: "It's okay, it's okay! I won't tell you, let's do this first."

Hearing the sound of hanging up on the other end, Li Suran closed the phone in a daze. He didn't know why Zhong Jinxi's tone became—even unfriendly, and he was suddenly a little dazed and at a loss.

"Hey, Li Suran, are you here to find Zhong Jinxi?" It was Xie Qi, who took out his key and opened the door for Li Suran to come in.

"Well, do you know where Zhong Jinxi has gone?"

"I saw him at the school gate just now, and said that I had to go home for a few days. Hey, Lin Xu also went back with him."

It turns out that you are unwilling to wait for the happiness that is as thin as a cicada's wing after all, so you gave up on me, chose to let him be by your side, and chose to believe in the future he gave you.

The pain in his heart was overwhelming. He thought that this period of time was just a cooling-off period, as long as they adjusted their mentality, they could start again, but Zhong Jinxi was tired, no longer chasing, no longer loving, and his full hopes were just in vain.

So what did you want to say just now, "Let's separate" or "I've decided to be with Lin Xu"?

I always feel that my whole body is almost suffocated, and even my breathing becomes oppressed.

And sadly, I lost you by someone else to notice.

Zhong Jinxi's body softened, but fortunately Lin Xu supported him from behind with quick eyesight and hands.

God gave Zhong Jinxi a small chance, a cruel farewell chance.The doctor said that his father was old, and a sudden cerebral hemorrhage would kill him.There are not so many miracles in the world, but the only luck for their family is to be able to send their father through the last journey instead of letting go on the operating table.

Zhong Jinxi didn't know how long this favor would last, hours or days.

While still in a daze, his father was pushed into the intensive care unit. Zhong Jinxi took several breaths. He told himself not to be blinded, not to fall down. He was a man and he had to take care of his mother and several sisters. He pushed Lin With Xu's support, he stumbled towards his father's ward.

It seems that I have no time to go home for more than two months. At this time, the old man Zhong Jinxi who is lying on the bed is not even recognized. His father is frowning. Wearing an oxygen mask, some measuring instruments are inserted all over the body.Looking at her eyes, she felt a little tight, Zhong Jinxi covered her mouth for fear of crying out loud.

Heart-piercing cries came from behind, and her mother turned pale under the support of several sisters. Zhong Jinxi quickly wiped away her tears, vacated her seat, and dragged her mother to give her strength.

Anyone can lose control, only Zhong Jinxi can't.

The wind outside the window is howling, as if it wants to blow people away. The weather in January is more and more arrogant under the support of the north wind, looking down and laughing at the fragility of human beings.

The snow didn't know when it started to fall quietly. It floated on the obstacle and then slowly melted away. After gradually stacking, a layer of fluffy hoarfrost was left on the surface, and it accumulated thicker and thicker.

The snow fell for two whole days, with snowflakes falling non-stop. When the snow began to melt, Zhong Jinxi's father left them forever.

Zhong Jinxi stood on the roof of the hospital, looking at the snow-white ground, he liked to stand on a high place, he had the illusion of overlooking the world.

In those childhood and youth, every bit of getting along with his father seemed to flow before his eyes like a revolving lantern.

The phone rang, and when I saw the display, I suddenly thought of the person I forgot to contact because I was too busy these days.

"Jinxi, I'm going to Japan to study graduate school, and I'm leaving next week, you have to take good care of yourself, you—" You want to be happy, even if it's not with me, "goodbye."

When Zhong Jinxi's father was dying, they had a private conversation.

The father took Zhong Jinxi's hand and said that he already knew about him and Li Suran. Of course he didn't want his son to be like this, but the child has his own ideas when he grows up. How can the parents stop it?He knew that Zhong Jinxi was filial, and if he stopped it, it would definitely make his son suffer, so he would also feel sorry for him. Seeing Li Suran rushing in and out here these days, he must be a considerate person, so let it go.

It seems that Lin Xu was mistaken for Li Suran, Zhong Jinxi smiled wryly.

Thinking that there is no obstacle, they can love with peace of mind, but they didn't expect that the real obstacle is each other.

During this time, Lin Xu has been silently by his side, helping him with some small matters, and giving him strength by the side, never complaining.No wonder they got it wrong, everyone would think that the person who was with Zhong Jinxi at this time must be the closest person. In fact, where was Li Suran when he needed him most?

There was a creaking sound of stepping on the snow behind him, and Zhong Jinxi suddenly turned around.

Lin Xu wore a lot of clothes, and a thick down jacket was wrapped around his woolen coat. His nose was red from the cold, and his eyes became bright and shiny under the reflection of the snow. He said, "It's cold, let me help you." You're tired of your coat, come on, I'll take it off and put it on for you."

Just as he unbuttoned it, he saw a figure rushing towards him, hugging him tightly, Lin Xu smiled and said, "Why, don't tell me you were touched by me?" So he took advantage of the opportunity to wrap the coat around the two of them.

"I just want to thank you for being with me all this time."

Lin Xu giggled, looking satisfied like a fool.

Zhong Jinxi cried out slowly in Lin Xu's arms, the emotions that had been suppressed due to various factors before finally vented slowly.

"Why! Why did Dad leave, why did he abandon me, why! Why don't you want me... why don't you want me... Li Suran..."

The wind is still blowing coldly, and there is no step-by-step process at all, and it can blow away the little flame in people's hearts in one blow.

His father's funeral was three days later. Zhong Jinxi hugged the portrait and bowed to the relatives who came to attend. His pale face was bloodless, and the wind blew his hair so that he could not see his eyes, covering the redness inside.

He persisted and fulfilled the strength and responsibility that a son should have, protecting the person who should be protected until the end, until he returned home after the funeral and finally collapsed to the ground. He passed out.

Zhong Jinxi had a high fever all the time, muttering nonsense, he was called Dad, and he also called Li Suran's name, occasionally mixed with Lin Xuhe and I'm sorry.

In the dream, he could cry unscrupulously until his voice became hoarse regardless of his gender, and he could let go of the burden that he couldn't let go in reality.

Zhong Jinxi woke up without any warning as if he had fainted. He opened his eyes, saw Lin Xu, grabbed his hand and asked, "What's the date today?"

"It's the 21th."