how should love continue

"Xiaojing, Xiaojing!" Who, who is calling me?Is it Guoguang?No, Guoguang always called me Jingwu.

"Xiaojing, Xiaojing, wake up!" I seem to see you again in the haze, Guoguang!

"Kunimitsu!" Atobe called out in a voiceless voice.

In exchange for the long silence of the other party, it turns out that you dreamed about him again.Renzu wiped the sweat off Atobu's forehead with a towel, his fair face became paler because of the dream.From just now, Atobe was raving, seeing him in such pain, Ninzu had no choice but to wake him up.Looking at Atobe's helpless and empty eyes, my heart began to ache again.What exactly did you dream about, and you want to ask, but you dare not, because there must be no self there.Wanting to hug the person in front of me, I still dare not, because even if it is painful, even if it is painful, it is a kind of enjoyment for Atobe, and I hope to have the enjoyment alone.

"Xiao Jing, I just checked you, and your wound is fine." Shinozu was obviously wondering why Atobe fainted suddenly.

"I know. I know there will be no danger this time." After a pause, Atobe said quietly, "Because I clearly felt at that time that it was not wound pain, or any discomfort in the body, but just heartache."

"..." It's not that Ninzuzu doesn't understand Atobe's meaning, but what else can he say?

"I used to do this every time I thought of Guoguang. I just didn't expect it to be so serious that I passed out this time."

Endured enough to stay for a while, but stopped talking.Out of the professional ethics of a doctor, Renzu wanted to ask whether this kind of situation often occurs, but if asked, would it be understood as "Do you often miss Tezuka Kunimitsu"?

"Ninzu, I have never regretted falling in love with Tezuka Kunimitsu in this life, and I will never regret it!" Ninzu shook his head helplessly.Eldest young master, don't you think you found the wrong person for such a firm confession?Atobe lifted his breath, sat up, and then pushed the pillow to the back by himself, leaning on it comfortably, and then raised his head to look at the person beside the bed, with a haughty look of returning from the king.

"Now, as long as I think of Guoguang, what appears in front of my eyes is the lonely back when he left that day and the words that gritted his teeth with hatred: Keigo Atobe, we will not see each other in this life. Isn't this what I want? It hurts, but when I think that he will remember me, even if he remembers me with hatred for the betrayer, I feel very happy!"

"—Knowing that you can't get out, but you still walk into the mist of your love without hesitation.

——Knowing that I can't catch it, I still don't listen to dissuasion to pursue my happiness.

——Knowing that I will lose, I still overwhelmed myself and made this bet with God.

——Knowing that it is very hard, I still try to step into the road you have walked.

——I don't cry, and I won't tell anyone about my suffering.

—I don't cry, I don't want to admit to God that I've lost my bet.

——I don't cry, why the pillow is still full of tears.

——I don't cry, loving you psychologically is my happiness..."

Atobe hummed a tune slowly, as if looking for a good medicine for his hurt feelings, but is it really effective?Shinozu remembers that this song was composed by Hocho Taro when he was in high school because his family objected to his association with Ryo.At that time, Atobe also said that he was not good, and he felt sorry for himself when he encountered such a little thing, which caused the always gentle Chotaro to fight with him.I still remember Chotaro's words: "Atobe-senpai, you and Tezuka-senpai may not have an easier time than me and Ryo." Yes, although their relationship is difficult, at least Atobe can help.But when it's Atobe's turn, who can help him?

"Since we are so in love, why did we break up?" This question has lingered in Ren Zu's mind for a long time. If we really love each other, we will definitely be together, right?Just like Chotaro and Ryo, who have cried, quarreled, even went on a hunger strike and swallowed sleeping pills for each other, which time did they not fight against the world with the determination to die?Which time is not hovering on the edge of life and death?It's just God's refusal to take them in, coupled with Atobe's efforts to save them, the two escaped death and finally got married.If Tezuka and Jibu were also in love with each other like this, they would definitely make the same decision, maybe it would be more intense.

"He didn't tell you?" Seeing Renzu shaking his head, Atobe didn't seem surprised. "I almost forgot, the target is Tezuka! How could the guy who knocked out teeth and swallowed blood tell the truth to others?"

After patiently waiting for a long time, as if a century had passed, Atobe didn't speak again.Just when he was about to give up the pursuit, Atobe slowly said: "Do you still remember the thing about you staying in my room in the second year of high school?" How could he not remember, that was the first time and the only time he was so close to Atobe .Shinobu clearly remembers that Atobe himself drank the 1903 fine French Bordeaux red wine in his mansion that day, Atobe......

"Xiaojing, you drank too much. You have to go to school tomorrow." Renzu went to snatch the goblet from the hand of the trace department, but he grabbed the tie.The two were close enough to feel each other's breath. "Why, you also take care of my uncle?"

"I'm here for you!"

"Everyone says it's good for me, I don't need it! You can either drink with me, or get out!" After finishing speaking, he looked up and drank another glass.Ninja always feels that Atobe is using alcohol to relieve his sorrow, but if his uncle refuses to speak, he has nothing to do.So, I can only watch Atobe trying to get myself drunk, but there is nothing I can do.Finally, Shinozuzu's good temper was completely exhausted, and he reached out to snatch the cup in the hand of the trace department again, but was rejected again, and then it turned into a hand-to-hand fight.Ren Zu didn't drink much, so he left some affection in his strikes, but it was different in Jibu, he exhausted all his moves.Neither of them seemed to want to show weakness, they rolled back and forth on the carpet, either you pressed me under, or I pressed you under.The cups, saucers and saucers on the coffee table were also unavoidable, and became the funeral objects of this struggle, scattered all over the place.It wasn't until both of them were too tired to move that they lay on the carpet on all fours and panted heavily: "Why, why didn't you fight back?"

"Xiao Jing, you drank too much." Ren Zu felt that there was no need to haggle over every detail with a delirious person.

"My uncle wants to drink too much, but unfortunately, my uncle is very sober, and the more he drinks, the more sober he becomes!" Then, there was a burst of hysterical laughter, he couldn't even breathe from the laughter, and he still refused to stop. "You're fucking as cheap as Tezuka, don't you know how to resist?" The always elegant and proud man also swears at this moment.

Renzu admits that he is really self-abuse, no matter how Atobe treats him, hasn't he been by his side for five years?It's just that Shinobu didn't understand that it wasn't him, but Tezuka that the Ministry of History really wanted to talk about.

"Stay with me tonight!"

"..."

"Take me back to your room!"

Even if a genius is patient, his brain is not enough at the moment.Is this an invitation?Could it be that his secret love will also have a bright day?Is this a kind of reward from God for his silent contribution?I am not a good man and a believer, the opportunity may be just a thought.

So, he hugged Atobe and walked towards the bedroom.