how should love continue

To what extent does the heart have to ache to die?

Tezuka couldn't help stroking his left chest, pressing it again and again, it seemed that only the moment of pressing could the pain be temporarily relieved.I remember someone said: When a person’s heart hurts, the limbs will unconsciously curl up in order to protect the painful heart, until they curl up into a ball like an animal, closing themselves without listening or seeing, it seems that only in this way can we stop the irresistible face the reality.But why can I still stand as firm as Mount Tai when I am in such a painful situation?Isn't that heartbreaking enough?The bloody maple forest outside the window is still moving in the rustling autumn wind. Even though it is near the end of its life, it is still releasing its last splendor. The red is so beautiful and delicate that no one can take their eyes off it.From this point alone, the scenery in front of him is very similar to the person who claims to be more dazzling than the sun.

Hey, why is it him again, even if he hurts his body badly, he still can't forget, can't forget his magnificence, can't forget his arrogance, can't forget every bit of him.Keigo Atobe is the nightmare that Tezuka Kunimitsu cannot escape in his life. No matter how long, even if it is a long time, even he does not remember who he is, that gorgeous person has a way to make himself remember who Keigo Atobe is.With a heavy sigh, Tezuka admitted that he still loves him!Perhaps only he can touch his numb soul.I thought that everything in the past was gone like a passing cloud, and I thought that I would never have any intersection with him again, but now it seems that it is just my wishful thinking.Atobe, can't you consider the position of others?Ten years ago, I confessed without warning, and then forcibly broke into my peaceful life. When I was stuck in it and couldn't extricate myself, I unilaterally called out extremely cruelly to stop, and now it appears in front of me in this way. How embarrassing ?Thinking about all the past alone, I didn't realize that someone had come behind me. It wasn't until I fell into a warm embrace that my wandering heart found a moment of peace.

"How's Jingwu's injury?" The metallic voice behind him revealed a hint of worry.

"I can't die." Tezuka's voice was so cold that even he himself wondered if he was really worried about the person who was lying in the intensive care unit at the moment.Breaking away from Renzuzu's hand, he slowly walked towards the desk.Obviously distressed to death, but can only be treated in this way, perhaps from the moment of breaking up, it has been doomed: love can no longer continue.

"Kunimitsu, this is not the attitude you should have towards patients!" Yushi Ninzu smiled slightly, meeting Tezuka's piercing gaze.Guoguang, no matter how indifferent you are, there is no way to cover up the panic in your heart.In fact, you are really not good at hiding.

"You are really enthusiastic today! How should I understand this change, is it because of me or because of Keigo Atobe?" Tezuka's words were as precise as a scalpel, hurting both the opponent and himself.Renzu, you still love him, don't you?Even though we already had each other, our hearts were never close.Huanai without emotion, no matter how compatible they are, is nothing but a catharsis of desire.I never asked you to choose between me and Atobe, because I love that gorgeous man as deeply as you do.It's just that I'm still jealous of you. I'm jealous that you can express your love openly, but I can only suppress this feeling in my heart.

"I care about both of you, can't you?" Ninzuzu's unique, almost charming voice sounded like flirting, but it's a pity... Picking up the medical records on the table, Tezuka Kojin's powerful notes suddenly came into view.There were 6 bullets in the body, and the one closest to the heart was only 5mm. This incident is really serious!If the chairman of the Atobe Consortium, the largest consortium in Japan, is not spared, then his bodyguards can imagine what kind of tragedy it will be.Looking at the detailed records of the injuries in the medical records and the records of the operation, Shinobu knew that Tezuka had exhausted all his strength in this contest with the god of death.I was worried about Tezuka's hatred for Atobe before, even if the killer didn't take Atobe's life, Tezuka would not let him go, but now it seems that it is nothing more than his own worrying.Tezuka, even if you hate everything to the bone, it's just another way to interpret love.If you can't join hands, you have to stand at the other end of the balance and let the other party remember you forever.Love has reached such an unforgettable point that all that remains is destruction. "Are you tired? Do you want to go home and have a rest? I'll make you your favorite eel tea."

"Doctor Ninzuzu doesn't have to go to work today?" Tezuka took a sip of the coffee that had already cooled down, and it was really too bitter to swallow.

Guoguang, do you know how abnormal you are now?I can understand your mood, even I have the same mood as you, but I can no longer tolerate you falling down, this feeling of fear is enough once!Since you went to the operating table last night, you have not had a rest for 18 hours. Even if I believe that you can stop eating and drinking, I don't believe that your high tension can last forever.Gently hugging Tezuka, the whispered voice slowly flowed into his ears: "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

"..."

Tezuka admits that Shinobu has a kind of magical power, even if it is just a short sentence, it has incredible power, which can calm his impetuous soul.Since when did I start to rely on him unconsciously, and since when have I been inseparable from him?He clearly knows that he loves Atobe, but he refuses to let go because he is greedy for his warmth. Even though he has been scolded thousands of times as "selfish" and "despicable", he still refuses to let go.I still remember the scene when I broke up with Ji, like smoke, like a dream...Even eight years later, there is still no sense of reality, just like a joke God made with me when I was half asleep and half awake. , God took everything back, and since then he has nothing.I can’t remember how Renzu found himself, and I don’t remember what happened after that. The only thing I remember is that sea-blue hair and the feeling of peace of mind, which has always surrounded me and carefully accompanied me in the ruins of my heart. Build little by little, build little by little, until a new emotional castle is born.Before I knew it, eight years had passed.

"He... needs you more now!" God knows, how difficult it is for Tezuka, who is not good at expressing himself, to say these words.Both are the most important people to me, and both are people I want to have, but at this moment, I have to suppress all unwillingness, all desires, and fulfill their love with my own hands. This is very important to everyone. It's a cruel thing.However, Tezuka had no choice, not even an excuse to stay.Maybe I played a disgraceful role in their emotional world.Shinobu has been with him for eight years, no matter how bad Atobe's injury is.Eight years is enough.

However, Tezuka didn’t know that eight years, whether it’s long or not, is just a short period of life, so short that he passed away before he could understand the true meaning of love; eight years, whether it’s short or not, is 2000 after all. Staying together for many days is long enough for two people to get used to each other's existence.In these eight years, the world has been vicissitudes, I fell in love with Renzu, and Renzu also fell in love with myself, and my love for myself is no less than that gorgeous person.It's just that this love, I can't bear to admit it in front of him, because if I admit my love for him, it will break the balance that was so hard to maintain.He was not sure that Tezuka would accept him, so he would rather settle for the next best thing and maintain the current state.

"Well, I'll go right away." The warmth on his body suddenly disappeared, and Tezuka's heart trembled.It's really the end, the man in front of me will no longer belong to me.He didn't want to watch his leaving figure, so he chose to turn his back on it.The door closed with a "click", and the heart also closed.

The author has something to say: the column just opened, many functions are still being explored, temporarily store past memories.

This novel is an old article, it has been finished, and it is my first article in the world of Danmei fan fiction. It was written on February 2007, 2, and it was first published on Fresh.com