the world in which he exists

A new shallow scar was added to Gu Chaoming's brow bone. It wasn't long, it was only as big as a grain of rice, and it couldn't be noticed unless he looked closely at his face.

The newly added scar was left by Gu Tao going crazy after returning home last time.In the past, such a large cut on the forehead didn't leave much scar, but this time, I don't know how to leave scar.

The wound was so complete, Gu Chaoming stood in front of the mirror and washed his face, the blood scabs fell off, and he found this small scar when he leaned in front of the mirror.

That day, Gu Chaoming was sitting in the pavilion where they often sat, pointing to the new scar on the brow bone and showing it to Lin Jianfan: "It's only so small, God must be reluctant to destroy such a handsome face of mine."

Seeing that Fan didn't say he was narcissistic, Lin only pursed his lips and laughed at him.

Gu Chaoming grabbed Lin Jianfan's hand and touched the small scar on his brow bone.

"You remember this feeling. If you want to come to me in the next life, just check to see if there is any scar on the brow bone."

Gu Chaoming is a person who panics at night because of nightmares, and who can use the hurt Gu Tao brought to him in front of Lin Jianfan as an intercourse without revealing the panic of last night.

All the panic was planted in the heart, densely packed into a forest, but under the light of Lin Jianfan, flowers bloomed.

Under the traction of Gu Chaoming, the fingertips touched the small scar on Gu Chaoming's brow bone. The scar was too small, and Lin Jianfan couldn't feel the small depression on Gu Chaoming's brow bone.

"But in the next life, I have to have a good relationship with you to get so close, and to see the scar on your brow bone clearly." Lin Jianfan said.

As soon as Gu Chaoming heard Lin Jianfan's answer, he knew that he was seriously thinking about this question.Just a casual sentence from him, Lin Jianfan will also activate his clever brain.

His seriousness remained the same, but he was not as timid as before, and he talked more obviously in front of him.

Gu Chaoming smiled: "You really have to think clearly about any problem."

"I don't want to know how to find you in the next life."

Gu Chaoming could never resist the love words from Lin Jianfan.

After being with Lin Jianfan and hearing Lin Jianfan say these words, Gu Chaoming realized that Lin Jianfan could speak better than him.He was the one who said the confession, and after we were together, he often blurted out to Lin Jianfan, and the far-fetched love words were not worth Lin Jianfan's words.

"If you can't find me, then I'll go find you." Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan with a smile.

Lin Jianfan laughed as if thinking of something: "Let me come, I'm afraid you will get lost."

Gu Chaoming's face suddenly became hot. He used to be a local who asked Lin Jianfan, who had moved here for less than a year, to guide him.

"I don't know the direction, but I won't get lost in your heart."

Gu Chaoming stared at Lin Jianfan's face affectionately, as if he was a king of love talk without blushing, but Gu Chaoming couldn't help breaking his skills just after he finished speaking.

With a "poof" laugh, he slapped his thigh: "What old-fashioned love talk, do it again, do it again."

After laughing and clearing his throat, Gu Chaoming said to Lin Jianfan affectionately again, "I don't know the direction, but...but..."

Gu Chaoming's mouth was suddenly in arrears, and he couldn't think of provocative words. Fortunately, his eyes were affectionate enough, and his anxiety of not being able to think of love words was enough to make people understand.

Before being together, Gu Chaoming's life was filled with studies and blame for his shrinking back.After being together, Gu Chaoming's life was filled with the sweetness of being with Lin Jianfan.

The strange thing is that the frequency of Gu Tao's going home has increased together with the little sweetness that life has come so hard to get.

In the past, it was normal for Gu Tao not to go home for three to five days. Ten days and a half months would probably make Gu Chaoming amazed that Gu Tao’s money can last for so long this time, but recently Gu Tao’s frequent homecoming made Gu Chaoming feel uneasy .

Every time the door lock is opened, the prayed color card falls to the darkest color.

The door of Gu Chaoming's house is not any door of Doraemon. When he opens the door, he can always see Gu Tao who is sleeping on the sofa, lying on the coffee table, eating melon seeds watching Xiaopin, or going to the bathroom with the door open.

Gu Chaoming suspects that Gu Tao has encountered some problems in his life outside.Once after returning home, I heard Gu Tao swearing in the living room.

At that time Gu Tao was sober, his face was sallow and dry, Gu Chaoming thought it was caused by drinking too much alcohol.

Gu Tao scolded Long Ge, a middle-aged man in a black leather jacket, who came to his house for dinner last time.Gu Chaoming used his student's intuition to see that Brother Long was not a good person.Gu Tao asked him to have dinner with them, but Gu Chaoming refused because he wanted to work part-time.

The part-time job in the supermarket has long been resigned. Since the New Year's visit to the man's house, Qu Yingyi's living expenses have increased month by month, and Gu Chaoming can't spend it all every month.

Gu Chaoming told her not to turn so much, and Qu Yingyi would turn more next time.

Gu Chaoming had no choice but to spend a lot of money, so he saved all the remaining money and planned to save it for living expenses when he went to college.

When he was rich, Gu Tao made a humbly "show favor" to him, showing off his easy money to Gu Chaoming, who was still earning money from a part-time job at the time.Gu Chaoming's guess was right, and the banknotes that Gu Tao got easily flowed away.

Instead of not going home for half a month in the past, I now go home at every turn. Most of the reasons for going home are to come back to ask for money.

Most of the remaining money from Qu Yingyi's living expenses was given to Gu Tao, but in exchange for Gu Tao's "care" for a while.A few times, even after handing over a stack of banknotes that he felt were enough, Gu Tao still took the money out of his hand, pointing out that a little bit was not enough.

Gu Chaoming's refusal of "no money" in exchange for follow-up medical expenses, Lao Chen's concern, the attention of his classmates, and Lin Jianfan's kiss in the shadow of the trees in a hurry.

The time I gave the most, in the past, giving so much money could keep Gu Tao away from home for a long time, and Gu Tao was easy to be satisfied at that time, but now Gu Tao is too little no matter how much money he gave, the time he gave the most On the contrary, he was beaten the worst.

The back of his head hit the wall, his arms were sore and swollen, Gu Chaoming was pushed against the wall, his shoelaces unraveled, and his heels were trampled off.

The laughter from the over-loud TV turned sarcastic, and in the dimly lit living room turned into a diabolical guffaw.

After Gu Tao took the money and left home, Gu Chaoming went back to the room to check the wound.I had the experience of being seen through the wound by Lin Jianfan at a glance. Seeing Lin Jianfan's worried eyes, Gu Chaoming deliberately covered up his wounds, covering those that could be covered with clothes, and those that could not be covered with jokes .

Lin Jianfan discovered the sore and swollen arms and covered them with clothes.Gu Chaoming pretended to be dead to tease Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan pulled his arm, Gu Chaoming couldn't hold back the pain, immediately frowned and "hissed".

Lin Jianfan blamed him for not talking or seeing a doctor.

"It's not good to see a doctor too much." Gu Chaoming said nonsense.

"Your Gu's fallacy again."

Seeing Fan's reproachful tone, Lin felt distressed, and held Gu Chaoming's arm to tell him not to hide it from him in the future.

Gu Chaoming didn't want to tell lies to Lin Jianfan, and he couldn't agree to him, so he could only pretend he didn't hear and raised his arm to Lin Jianfan's mouth: "Come on, let's breathe, it will heal quickly."

Behind the smile in the eyes is Gu Chaoming's apology, sorry for not being able to promise you.

The injured arm was raised, and the breeze caressed it, and the breeze also felt distressed.

Gu Chaoming, who was sitting on the fence, leaned on his feet, his arms stretched out, and a warm wind against the breeze blew over the wound.

A bird twittered from the tree above his head, and the leaves behind him fell in the breeze. Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was breathing on his wound.

thank God I've you.

In life with you, the warm wind builds a barrier against the beasts of life.

With you here, Gu Tao's pain is no longer so difficult.

In the breeze, Lin saw Fan's soft fine hair floating in the wind.

Breeze, birds chirping, fences, big trees, and a Lin Jianfan.

The beauty of life is nothing more than that, but it is not only that.

Gu Chaoming had hoped that this kind of life could continue forever.

He is not greedy, even if Gu Tao's beatings continue, even if he goes home every day to clean up Gu Tao's mess, as long as he can leave this city in the end, as long as he has Lin Jianfan by his side when he leaves this city.

This bit of patience passed.

Gu Chaoming gritted his teeth for 17 years.

In 17 years, the teeth bit the lip wall, blood filled the mouth, and the nightmare was rampant with blood.

Gu Chaoming thought that this was already the worst situation, he gritted his teeth for the past 17 years, and there are still two years left.

Is there anything that can't be endured by gritting your teeth?

But he didn't expect that the strong he thought was still so weak.

Another sum of money in the bank account.

After receiving the text message, Gu Chaoming knew that Qu Yingyi was remitting his living expenses again, and told Qu Yingyi again that the money was enough and that he didn't need so much, but Qu Yingyi turned a deaf ear and cared about his life.

"It won't matter if Gu Tao goes home. Your son is already so old. I told you last time that Gu Tao has made money and treated me very well."

Gu Chaoming used Gu Tao's goodwill towards him before to deceive Qu Yingyi who is now worried about him.

"Well... soon... okay... oops, I've already said that Gu Tao is very kind to me, don't worry..."

"Well, that's it, bye."

After hanging up the phone, Gu Chaoming turned around and found Lin Jianfan standing by the wall.

After breaking through Gu Chaoming's lie, Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, just stood there.Gu Chaoming raised his hand to touch the back of his head, walked to Lin Jianfan and hugged him, and explained dryly: "Call my mother..."

Lin Jianfan didn't say anything, didn't nod, and let Gu Chaoming hold her.

He obviously didn't do anything wrong, he just lied to his mother and was heard by Lin Jianfan, but Gu Chaoming kept teasing Lin Jianfan as if he made Lin Jianfan angry.

He lowered his head to make Lin Jianfan laugh, and wanted to find out what Lin Jianfan was thinking from Lin Jianfan's eyes.

Gu Chaoming is like a kid who made a mistake, this kid is a bit noisy, chattering a lot along the way, just to cheer up Lin Jianfan who seems a little unhappy to hear him lie to Qu Yingyi.

"Don't be upset, okay?" Gu Chaoming ran to Lin Jianfan to stop him after the joke failed.

"I'm not unhappy, I'm just a little..." Lin Jianfan raised his head and looked at Gu Chaoming, his voice was inexplicably choked up, "A little..."

Lin Jianfan choked up and swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and his Adam's apple went up and down. Gu Chaoming noticed that a layer of tears welled up in Lin Jianfan's eyes, and his entire eye sockets turned red instantly, as if he had been wronged by some great grievance.

There was an experience of Lin Jianfan crying suddenly while talking in the soup shop, Gu Chaoming was extra cautious about Lin Jianfan's emotions, but he still couldn't stop Lin Jianfan's rapid emotional jump.

When Lin saw Fan's eyes turn red, Gu Chaoming couldn't bear it.

"Why are you crying?" With no paper in hand, Gu Chaoming could only hold Lin Jianfan's cheeks and wipe away Lin Jianfan's sudden tears with his thumb.

"I'm just... I'm just..." Lin Jianfan, whose voice was full of tears, sniffed, his shoulders trembled, and he kept repeating: "I'm just..."

"What is it?" Fingertips wiped Lin Jianfan's teary eyes.

"I just feel so distressed." Lin Jianfan said.

Gu Chaoming, who was wiping Lin Jianfan's tears, was stunned, and the fingers wiping his tears exposed his heart fluttering when he heard Lin Jianfan say that he felt sorry for him.

His heart was trembling fiercely, but Gu Chaoming still comforted Lin Jianfan in a tone of nothing, saying: "Oh, I just called my mother, it's okay, the injury on my face has healed up long ago, don't cry Come on, don't think about it so much."

Lin Jianfan lowered his head and didn't speak, as if sinking into his own world, what Gu Chaoming faced was just an empty shell.

Gu Chaoming hugged that empty shell, he was not a child no one worried about.Qu Yingyi loved him when he was young, and Liu Yi loved him too. When he grew up, Cen Xili and Su Bing were by his side. After the divorce, Qu Yingyi loved him even more, but they didn't care like Lin Jianfan.

The concern and distress of others is to ask and help, but Lin Jianfan's distress is to keep silent and hold back by himself, as if he himself has been wronged and hurt.

Gu Chaoming hugged him, lowered his head and kissed the top of his head, stroked his back, and said softly: "I know, I know."

Seeing Fan's red eyes, Lin Zhong nodded his head.

Gu Chaoming patted his head: "You are too sensitive, I didn't feel anything, but you were crying."

Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan on the back naturally, not wanting to make his eyes red again: "Want to drink yogurt?"

Huaizhong Lin saw Fan shaking his head, it seemed that he was still in a bad mood.

There will be someone in the world who will be so sad because he loves him, Gu Chaoming has never thought about it in 17 years.

"But I want to drink, let's go drink together."

"Are you okay?" All of Gu Chaoming's tenderness was integrated into this sentence "Are you okay?"

Lin Jianfan finally agreed, Gu Chaoming let go of him, Lin Jianfan's eyes were still red.

Gu Chaoming reached out to wipe his tears again, and touched his eyelashes with his fingertips, wanting to take away the redness around Lin Jianfan's eyes.

"Do you know, you are the first person to cry because you love me besides my mother."

Some people feel distressed, and 17 years of suffering is nothing.

Maybe it was Gu Chaoming who came to the conclusion that 17 years of suffering is nothing, and Gu Tao listened to it. After a few days, Gu Tao went home, and let him taste the despair and mud of life again.

The ending song of the TV series echoed in the living room, singing to the empty sofa.Gu Chaoming was humming to the sound of running water in the kitchen. Oil stains and foam in the pool floated on the surface of the water together. A pair of chopsticks and a few bowls were soaked in the water alone, and a pair of big hands picked up the bowls and chopsticks in the pool to clean them.

In the living room, the sound of the door lock turning and the door opening was mixed with the ending song of the TV series.

You can use the key to open the door, don't think about it, only he and Gu Tao have the house key, but Gu Chaoming still walked to the kitchen door and looked towards the living room.

Gu Tao didn't drink today?Do you know how to open the door with a key?

Seeing Gu Tao who pulled out the key by the door, Gu Chaoming wet his hands with water and felt novelty.

It is rare for Gu Tao to go home so normally.

Regardless of whether Gu Tao is drunk or sober, Gu Chaoming doesn't want to pay attention to him.

Pulling out the key, he felt someone watching him by the kitchen door, so Gu Tao looked at Gu Chaoming by the door.

Before meeting his eyes, Gu Chaoming turned and walked into the kitchen, turned on the faucet and continued to wash the dishes.

The water washes the palms, and the dishes and chopsticks are cleaned with a few strokes.Gu Chaoming felt strange that Gu Tao ignored him today, and he didn't come to the kitchen to look for him when he saw him by the kitchen door, and he didn't make trouble because of ignoring him.

After washing the dishes without incident, Gu Tao didn't even make a sound.

In the living room separated from the kitchen by a wall, Gu Tao, who made Gu Chaoming feel strange, went straight to his bedroom after entering the door.

Putting the bowl into the cupboard, closing the cupboard door, Gu Chaoming wiped his hands and took out the phone in his pocket to check the time.

He ate late today, and he finished eating and washing the dishes after an episode of the TV series in the evening.

Watching the time for nothing else, Gu Tao's strange return home makes people uneasy.Gu Chaoming originally wanted to go to the supermarket to do some shopping, so he also went to hide from Gu Tao.

After watching the time, he walked to the living room and heard noises coming from Gu Tao's room, but Gu Chaoming ignored them. The noises in Gu Tao's room only made him more determined to go out.

Take your mobile phone to the nearest supermarket to finish shopping, and wander around the roadside at night with supermarket plastic bags.

It was another night when I couldn't go home because of Gu Tao.

Sit on the side of the road, buy some snacks, throw the finished snacks into the trash can, and sit on another side of the road.

Walking aimlessly on the street, passing by the door of a store, I took the leaflet that the young lady stuffed into her hands enthusiastically.In order to promote the store, there is a Winnie the Pooh standing in front of the store.

Standing not far away, Gu Chaoming looked at Winnie the Pooh who was attracting customers by showing off his cuteness, and remembered the day last year when he was wearing a Doraemon doll costume and handing out flyers.

On that day, he pressed Gu Tao's face into the noodle soup for the first time, and also on that day, he met Lin Jianfan for the first time.

Under the dim light, he withdrew his sinful palm, and Lin Jianfan helped him pick up the fallen leaflets in the noisy street.

Standing not far away and looking at Winnie the Pooh, I thought of myself who was wrapped in sweaty doll clothes at the time, and I was so frustrated at the time. Now I dare not say how good I am, but at least I can say confidently: "I saw it. own change."

I see my own changes, the new 17-year-old has grown up.

He took out his mobile phone and took a picture of the Winnie the Pooh on the opposite side, and sent the photo to Lin Jianfan. He left the street and walked to a quiet road to sit and rest.

"The first time I met you was also wearing a doll costume." Gu Chaoming said.

"I remember, Doraemon."

It was a bit cold at night, Gu Tao's whereabouts and schedule were uncertain, Gu Chaoming didn't know if he would go out again, if he wanted to go out, would he still be at home now?If you don't go out and sleep at home, are you sleeping now?

In the cold air, I chatted with Lin Jianfan on the side of the road where there were few people. After talking until ten o'clock, Lin Jianfan had to go to bed. After saying good night to each other, Gu Chaoming put away his phone and looked around.

There is silence everywhere, no one is seen, only the pale moonlight spreads.

Gu Chaoming decided to go home. Recently, Gu Tao went home too frequently and asked for money too fiercely. Gu Chaoming decided to take a gamble to see if Gu Tao was at home, sleeping or not.

Going home with the purchased things, Gu Chaoming's heart was half cold when he saw that the lights were still on upstairs. Then he thought that Gu Tao might not have turned off the lights again, so Gu Chaoming stepped on the stairs to go home.

The moment the key was inserted into the door lock and the door was opened, Gu Chaoming knew that he had lost the bet.

In the house behind the door, all the lights are on. Whether it is the toilet or the kitchen, the bright lights illuminate the small house, as if foreshadowing something terrible. Disturbing.

Under the lights that were turned on abnormally, there was a messy living room, a messy room, a messy kitchen, and even the TV set was moved and never restored.

The clothes in the closet in the room appeared in the living room, the refrigerator door was wide open like a human being opening his coat to reveal his new sweater, and there was a lone carrot shivering inside.

The messy home complained to Gu Chaoming who was returning home, and to Gu Tao who went crazy.

Facing the messy house, Gu Chaoming has long learned to treat it indifferently.

Indifferently, he put the plastic bag containing daily necessities by the door, walked to the sofa, picked up his clothes, and cleaned up the messy home.

Gu Tao has been sitting on the sofa in the living room. Gu Chaoming had already seen him when he opened the door, but chose to ignore him.

A living person was sitting on the sofa, Gu Chaoming paid attention to the messy home first, and walked past Gu Tao as if he didn't see him when he picked up the clothes from the sofa.

Under the eaves of the two of them, there was only the sound of Gu Chaoming packing things, and all the lights chose to be silent, emitting their own light alone.

He picked up the towels on the ground and put them back in their original place, and took the cardboard box that Gu Tao dug out from where he didn't know where to put the large items on the ground that were damaged by Gu Tao into garbage.

The cardboard box was filled little by little, and when Gu Chaoming squatted down to pick up the broken mirror on the ground, a black shadow enveloped the cardboard box full of garbage at hand, covering Gu Chaoming who was careful not to cut his hand with the glass.

The light and shadow are resisted by the demon, and the beast of life roars.

Gu Chaoming stood up single-handedly, with the morality of not doing stupid things and the impulse to keep suppressing.