the world in which he exists

Gu Chaoming just wanted to shake the rag and leave, but he didn't.

He stood there, motionless, suppressing the sense of powerlessness that gradually flooded in his heart, squatting down and holding the rag to continue fighting against the filth on the table.

After the filth was cleaned up, the disgusting smell still permeated the air and refused to dissipate.Gu Chaoming opened the window to let in air, smelling the aroma of food from other houses, mixed with the peculiar smell around him, producing another even weirder smell.

There is no special dining table at home, there used to be, but it was smashed to pieces by Gu Tao insanely, and sold to others as firewood for the stove.

Since then, it has become a retractable wooden table for eating.The dining table has become sloppy, and the attitude towards eating has also become sloppy.Sometimes Gu Chaoming was too lazy to move the table, so he simply put the food on the coffee table to eat.

From sitting and eating in the past to squatting now, the place where Gu Tao's vomit was stained on the sofa was covered with treated water stains. Gu Chaoming didn't want to sit, he would rather half squat and half stand by the tea table to eat with a bowl.

Gu Chaoming walked to the door of Gu Tao's room, opened the door and called, "It's time to eat."

I haven't seen Gu Tao eating for a few days, but he became more particular about eating. When he came out of the room, he saw Gu Chaoming eating at the coffee table: "Why don't you set up a table to eat? Wouldn't it be too stressful to eat on the coffee table?"

After speaking, he moved the table out and took a look at Qu Yingyi's favorite dishes specially selected by Gu Chaoming on the table.

After reading it, he had a look of shit on his face, and while setting up the table, he asked Gu Chaoming happily, "Son, do you know what day it is today?"

Gu Chaoming put a piece of rice with chopsticks into his mouth, but didn't answer, and even gave it a stingy look.

What day is today?Gu Chaoming knew it and didn't want to say it, so there was no need to waste words.

"You won't forget your dad, I celebrate my birthday today, right? You don't say anything about dad's birthday? You put the dishes on the tea table and eat them, so why don't you just stir-fry these few dishes?"

Express?How can you express it?Gu Chaoming knew that he was short of money again, and he said so tactfully when he wanted money, as if he wasn't the one who stole money from his mother before.

After setting up the wooden table, the originally not-so-spacious cabin seemed even more crowded, almost blocking the kitchen door.

Gu Tao sat down on the chair by the table, and asked Gu Chaoming to get two bottles of beer from the refrigerator, with a smile on his face like a complacent person in the market who obtained a small profit by cheating and abducting: "So your father and I will be happy today." They smoke only expensive cigarettes, but their luck is a bit smelly, they didn’t win, and the guy on the other side is still yelling, ruining the fun. Today, my father and I have a drink, and we are very happy. Happy birthday to dad.”

Gu Tao talked vigorously, but Gu Chaoming, who was eating at the table, had no intention of leaving.The two are like ice and fire people in a small game, Gu Tao is as passionate as fire, but Gu Chaoming is as cold as ice.

Gu Chaoming only said indifferently: "I have to go to a part-time job later and don't drink."

"What are you afraid of when you have a part-time job? If you drink a little wine, he can still open you up? Be obedient and go get Dad two bottles of wine."

Gu Tao wanted to reach out and pat Gu Chaoming on the back, but Gu Chaoming took a step back calmly to avoid it.

Gu Tao's hands were frozen in the air and he didn't feel embarrassed, he ignored Gu Chaoming's indifference and continued to urge him.

At the end of summer, the glass wine bottle is cold, and a layer of water mist forms on the bottle, which condenses into water droplets and slides down the bottle.

"You drink it yourself, I don't want to drink it." Gu Chaoming said.

Gu Tao raised his eyelids to look at him, laughed to himself, held the beer bottle stuck on the corner of the table and slapped it with his hand, the wooden table which was not very stable was slapped on one side.The vegetable bowl on the table was also moved by the shock, and the chopsticks that Gu Chaoming stretched into the cucumber bowl stopped in mid-air.

After Gu Tao opened the beer, he took a water glass, picked up the beer and poured himself a glass, took a sip, and then leaned over to Gu Chaoming and said: "I have to eat longevity noodles for my birthday, son, my father raised you so much. For many years, your neighbors have said that you are a filial child, cook a bowl of noodles for your father, and live a long life."

Gu Chaoming avoided the smell of beer gushing out of Gu Tao's mouth: "Cooking, let's eat."

Gu Tao, who was still kind, suddenly yelled: "You won't even make a bowl of noodles for me? There are still some noodles left in the refrigerator, go!"

Gu Chaoming was caught off guard by Gu Tao's sudden increase in volume, and the following sentence "go quickly" smelled like an order. Gu Zhaoming shook the chopsticks in his hand, and looked up at Gu Tao, his eyes were cold, and there was frost in his dark eyes.

After staring at Gu Tao for a few seconds, Gu Chaoming threw down the bowl, took out the noodles from the refrigerator, went to the kitchen to crack an egg and put some green onions, and within a few minutes the noodles were on the table.

The noodle bowl was placed on the table, and a few drops of noodle soup were spilled, expressing his dissatisfaction for Gu Chaoming, and landed on the oily table.

Gu Tao didn't take it seriously, but was still immersed in his satisfaction with his son's "obedience" and "filial piety".

Taking out the chopsticks from the chopsticks basket, Gu Tao ate the noodles very loudly, he was afraid that others would not know how delicious his food was, and he never cared whether others still had appetite after hearing the sound.

After eating, Gu Chaoming put the bowl in the kitchen, took out a [-] from his schoolbag and put it in front of Gu Tao as the "indication" that Gu Tao just asked. Gu Chaoming knew that if he didn't express, he might not be able to leave the door today. .

It's ridiculous that someone who is lazy all day needs to use this method to wish him a happy birthday.

The birthday person doesn't look satisfied.

"That's all?" Gu Tao glanced at the banknotes on the table while eating.

"There are only so many." Gu Chaoming didn't want to say more.

Going out to work during the summer vacation, the salary has not been handed in, and the salary that can be received today, plus his original family background, a high school student can be considered rich.In front of Gu Tao, Gu Chaoming is always poor, knowing that he is rich, Gu Tao will get worse.Even though he kept it a secret, Gu Chaoming still became Gu Tao's mobile bank, he settled the credit accounts, and went home to find him when he ran out of money.

"Oh, I have to give you at least one hundred. I know you have money." Gu Tao bit his chopsticks and put the fifty on the table into his pocket. I took the money and treated it as your birthday present to me."

The oil around his mouth glistened under the light, and Gu Tao's body trembled, not knowing whether it was belching from wine or fullness.

Gu Chaoming looked up at Gu Tao.

The money lost in the drawer was indeed "taken" by Gu Tao.

"Don't rummage through my room next time, I have no money." Gu Chaoming said coldly.

"Why can't I go to my son's room? It's only natural for my son to spend his money."

Gu Chaoming looked at Gu Tao's expression of course, and the air around him was taken away instantly, and his eyes and nose were covered with despair like sea water.

There are no gods in the world, only darkness suffocating to despair.

At that moment, Gu Chaoming just wanted this man to disappear from his eyes and his world, so that he might still have a chance to catch his breath.

As if nothing had happened, Gu Chaoming walked behind Gu Tao without saying a word, and looked at the back of Gu Tao's head with gray hair despite not doing much.The sound of Gu Tao sucking the noodles without any scruples was still in his ears, and Gu Tao even complained that the noodles were too bland.

Under the lamp, Gu Chaoming's huge black shadow enveloped Gu Tao, who was in his 40s, as if trying to devour him.

Please disappear from this world!

A wide palm grabbed Gu Tao's head from behind and pressed down hard, trying to press Gu Tao's face into the noodle bowl, his face into the greasy noodle soup, and let him also taste the feeling of being unable to breathe .

Gu Chaoming stood under the electric light, behind his dying father.

The electric light cast no shadow on his face, like an angel that had never appeared in his life.

The demon is about to leave this world.

Angels are executing him.

He is an incompetent angel.

Gu Chaoming thought he would laugh when he struck, but he didn't. His hands were trembling, and his heart trembled accordingly.

"murderer!"

"Are you finally going to do it?"

"Kill him!"

The sudden appearance of the voice made Gu Chaoming panic. He searched for the source of the voice, but found that the voice came from the bottom of his heart.

Gu Chaoming suddenly came to his senses and withdrew his hand in shock.

What was he doing just now?

After letting go, Gu Chaoming took a deep breath, his breathing was disordered and rapid.

In front of him was an "attempted murder" crime scene, and the man he wanted to kill was now angry and angry at him.Gu Tao jumped up from the chair in despair, his face was covered with greasy noodle soup, reflecting the light under the light.

Ridiculous and scary.

The dim light flickered in front of my eyes, and overlapping phantoms appeared.Gu Chaoming was also surprised by what he did just now. In the next second, Gu Tao slapped his head to the side, his body swayed, and he almost couldn't stand still. His cheeks were red, swollen and hot.

A few loud slaps were followed by a haphazard but hurtful punching and kicking.

Gu Chaoming was beaten so hard that he could only retreat. The pain in his body was accompanied by complex light and shadow changes in front of him. There were many figures, and the demon's arm was raised, and the place where it fell was muffled and patient.

Taking two steps back without noticing what was behind him, he tripped over a chair, and there was a "bang", the sound of colliding with wooden furniture.

I felt a tingling pain in my right shoulder, and the moistness on my lips quickly spread little by little, so bright red that a bright red flower bloomed on Gu Chaoming's lips.

Gu Chaoming closed his eyes, and leaned his head against the furniture behind him, as if he was enduring pain. If you pay more attention, you will find that this position is not comfortable. The injured shoulder is pressed against the protruding drawer handle, which will only make it worse. pain.

Gu Chaoming is not enduring pain, but atonement for what he just did, in his own way.

He hates this man, he fears this man.

He had picked up a sharp knife when the man beat his mother.

He once stabbed a sharp knife in his dream.

But dreams are dreams after all, today, maybe the next moment, will become reality.

Gu Tao didn't pay much attention to what Gu Chaoming was thinking. After Gu Chaoming fell down, his punches and kicks were replaced by reprimands and curses.

Amidst the sound of cursing, Gu Chaoming stood up with his hands on the ground and his right shoulder was painful.

Gu Chaoming walked back to the room, regardless of the pain in his right shoulder, he shook his hand and closed the door forcefully, his entire shoulder seemed to be broken.

The door panel shook so that the wall ash fell off, and Gu Tao, who was outside the door, became even more angry.

Gu Chaoming locked the door of the room he had violently treated, but the scolding sound was still clingy and tried to get in through the crack of the door.

Gu Tao, who was furious because his prestige was challenged, began to kick the door. The door panel was still strong enough to withstand Gu Tao's fierce kick.

Gu Chaoming ignored the yelling outside the door, opened the desk chair and sat down, and turned on the lamp on the desk.The light came on, lighting up the small area of ​​the world, and with the light shining, Gu Chaoming realized that his fingers had rubbed somewhere. The skin on his index finger and ring finger was scratched, and the scratched skin stuck to his hand and turned outwards. The vagina is bleeding.

There was no mirror in the room, so Gu Chaoming took out his mobile phone from his pocket to turn on the front camera, found a few books to act as a mobile phone stand, and after setting up the mobile phone, he took out the band-aid box from the desk drawer.

The sound of kicking the door stopped at this moment, followed by the sound of running water in the kitchen, and then the sound of the door being slammed shut.

"Be as virtuous as your mother."

Gu Tao left such a sentence.

Gu Chaoming ignored it and tore off the skin from the wound on his finger.There were traces of bleeding where the outer skin had just been torn off under pulling, accompanied by slight pain but not worth mentioning.

The newly installed mobile phone vibrated in the quiet room and slid down the spine of the book to the table. Gu Chaoming picked up the mobile phone and saw that it was a message from Su Bing.

"I broke up with my little girlfriend, and I'm free again now!"

Su Bing's breakup was quite fast. Gu Chaoming didn't reply after reading the message. He turned on the camera and put it back to its original position, continuing to stick the band-aids.

After pasting the wound on the hands, I started to treat the wound on the face.

There was a slight pain from the wound on the forehead, and a feeling of tearing. When he was beaten by Gu Tao, he tried his best to protect his forehead, thinking that the wound was open, but when he took a look with his mobile phone, it seemed that it was not a big deal. Gu Chaoming was a little bit at a loss. They didn't deal with it.

After treating the wound, Gu Chaoming leaned on the back of the chair, his right shoulder hurt when he was hit, looked up and saw the damp roof, and felt as damp and depressed as this roof.

He remembered the words of Aunt Cheng in the commissary.

"You are such a good child, how can you have such a father?"

Aunt Cheng thought he was a good boy, but Gu Chaoming himself didn't think so.He doesn't fit the term "good boy". He fights and smokes, doesn't want to study, and doesn't get along with good kids. He is a typical bad student, but these are not the reasons why he feels that he is a bad student.

What made him feel that he was not a good student, or even a good person, was not because of his grades, nor because of his character, but because he once wanted to kill his father.

He deceives people's eyes and is a "murderer" wearing a cloak of filial piety.

He just wanted to kill Gu Tao again.

Gu Chaoming remembers the night when the sharp knife cut his finger, and the pain from the cigarette burn on the back of his hand... Maybe at a moment he can't help it, he will lift the butcher knife and swing it at the man who has lived under the same roof for more than ten years.

He has never told anyone about this matter, and he has never mentioned his inner fear to others.

Gu Chaoming put the wound patch on the table into a box, put it back in the drawer, packed it up and walked out of the room.

The living room was quiet, the lights were still on, the table was confiscated, the noodle bowl was still on the table, one chopstick was on the table and the other was on the ground, the living room was in a mess.

After tidying up the living room, Gu Chaoming picked up the baseball cap that had been knocked off when he was beaten on the floor, put it on, and carried the thermos to the hospital.

Gu Chaoming didn't want to mention the reason why his mother was admitted to the hospital, but it was the man who kicked the door in a rage.

When he walked out of the corridor, the sun had set and the night was falling. Gu Chaoming took out his mobile phone and sent Su Bing a message.

"You kid is fast enough, and you can talk quickly and divide quickly."

No matter how hard it is, life goes on.

Su Bing on the opposite side replied in seconds: "No, fortunately, the little sister is not the kind who is desperate for life, and she will divide it as soon as she can."

Chatting with Su Bing all the way to the hospital, Gu Chaoming took out a mask and put it on before entering the ward, fearing that his mother would worry if she saw the injury on her face.

While wearing the mask, Gu Chaoming suddenly remembered the strange boy he met at school, and the little yellow flower he held between his fingers.Gu Chaoming smiled, he is now the same as that unnamed boy with a yellow flower, fully armed with a baseball cap and mask, except for a pair of black-rimmed glasses without lenses.

Pushing open the door, the ward was fairly quiet, the TV was turned on very low, not as loud as the chatter in the room.Qu Yingyi was leaning on the hospital bed with a pillow, chatting with the patient in the next bed, when she saw Gu Chaoming who opened the door and entered, she smiled and said, "Here we come."

"Mom." Gu Chaoming walked in and said hello to the aunt in the next bed. While asking his mother how he was feeling today, he got the table board and put the thermos bucket on it.

"It's a bit late today?" Qu Yingyi asked Gu Chaoming, who was standing in front of the bed and opened the thermos bucket, and saw that he was still wearing a mask, "Why are you still wearing a mask at night?"

Gu Chaoming immediately built a defensive wall in his heart, and Qu Yingyi's gaze lingered on his face.Being watched by his mother like this, Gu Chaoming felt that the mask on his face seemed to be transparent and could not cover it at all, and the injuries on his face could not be hidden under his mother's sight.

Putting the food out, Gu Chaoming moved a little too much. He tried to move his body as much as possible, so as to avoid his mother's gaze on his face clumsily.

"There is a lot of dust outside, I heard that there is smog these few days." Gu Chaoming lied, afraid that Qu Yingyi would see the clue even when he handed a spoon.

He knew that his hiding was clumsy and crude, so he changed the subject because he was afraid that Qu Yingyi would not believe him: "Your son prepares all the dishes you like, how about it, do you like it?"

Qu Yingyi lay on the bed, looking out of the window.The ward is in a high-rise building, and there is only an endless night outside the window and the lights of other people's houses dotted with stars.

"Smog? Why didn't I see it? The weather is pretty good these days."

Gu Chaoming smiled, and said casually: "You just pretend that your son is afraid that he is too handsome, afraid of being seen by others, and you don't want your son to be abducted by some little girl casually, right?"

Qu Yingyi had her own guess in her heart, and poked him on the head with a smile: "You child, don't be ashamed."

"Isn't your son handsome?" Gu Chaoming sat on the chair beside the hospital bed and asked with a handsome smile, tilting his head.

The patient in the next bed listened to the conversation between the two mothers and couldn't help smiling and said to Qu Yingyi: "Your son is handsome. I used to say whose son is so handsome."

"That's right, it's what everyone expects." Gu Chaoming's tone was smug.

Qu Yingyi smiled while eating: "Don't talk about him like that, the more you talk about him, the more narcissistic you are."

"Where am I narcissistic?" Gu Chaoming asked.

Qu Yingyi laughed at him while eating, and when she saw her mother's smile, Gu Chaoming's wounded lips under the mask couldn't help but curl up.

As long as mom is happy, after living together for so many years, mom must know better than him what kind of person Gu Tao is.Gu Chaoming didn't know whether the mother really didn't see it or saw it and didn't say anything, but as long as the mother is still smiling, it's fine for the mother to be happy.

Qu Yingyi looked at the meals specially prepared by Gu Chaoming in front of her. She just casually said that she wanted to eat home food when Gu Chaoming came to see her last time. Gu Chaoming prepared so many dishes, and they were all her favorites. Qu Yingyi was eating pantothenic acid in her heart.

The sensible son sat beside her and watched TV. Thinking of what she had done, Qu Yingyi felt guilty, felt suffocated, and had no appetite at all.

Suppressing the guilt in her heart after eating, Qu Yingyi called Gu Chaoming to stop him when he was about to leave.

"Morning."

The voice is extremely gentle, and maternal love flows in the short words.

"Huh? What's the matter?" Gu Chaoming looked at his mother questioningly.

Qu Yingyi stared at his face, Gu Chaoming couldn't help but tighten his heart, did mom see it?

After standing anxiously in front of the hospital bed for several seconds, Qu Yingyi asked slowly, "You still have to work part-time?"

She couldn't speak in the end, so she could only use other topics instead.

Gu Chaoming nodded: "Today is the last day."

"The road is dark at night, be careful on the way home." Qu Yingyi sat on the bed and looked at Gu Chaoming.

"Yeah." It wasn't because he saw it that he stopped him, Gu Chaoming breathed a sigh of relief.

With the care of his mother, Gu Chaoming smiled behind the mask, and because of the resistance of the mask, Qu Yingyi did not see Gu Chaoming's smile born because of her concern.