the world in which he exists

The night market is noisy and full of smells. Today is Saturday, and as you go forward, more and more people walk. Although it is not so crowded, it is not possible to pass all the way, stop and go, and stumble.

The noise lingered in my ears, passing by a snack shop that looked delicious, Gu Chaoming asked him: "Do you want to eat this?"

Lin saw Fan nod his head, and Gu Chaoming said to the boss, "Two copies."

The first handed over was passed to Lin Jianfan by Gu Chaoming's hand. During the pass, Gu Chaoming remembered that he forgot to tell Su Bing that they had left the soup shop. Don't Su Bing go to the soup shop by himself Liben.

Waiting for his snack, Gu Chaoming took out his mobile phone and typed a message to Su Bing.

Halfway through typing, Lin saw a bell ringing from Fan's pocket.

Gu Chaoming was typing, attracted by the ringtone, turned his head and inadvertently saw the word "Mom" displayed on the screen of the mobile phone he took out from Lin Jianfan's pocket.

"Young man, it's yours." The boss handed the packaged snacks to Gu Chaoming, and Gu Chaoming took it and paid for it, while Lin Jianfan called "um" and "immediately".

Opening the bag and taking a bite, seeing Lin Jianfan hang up the phone, Gu Chaoming asked, "Is your mother calling you?"

Lin Jianfan nodded.

"Oh." Gu Chaoming replied thoughtfully, nodded slightly, and swallowed the food in his mouth.No matter how late he stayed outside, no one would call to care, but Lin Jianfan was different.

"Then you should go back early." Gu Chaoming said.

"It's okay, I'll accompany you and wait for Su Bing to come."

Gu Chaoming smiled: "I am a big man and I still need someone to accompany me? You can go back."

Speaking of the two having reached the end of the snack street, Gu Chaoming wanted to ask him what he would like to eat, and if he wanted to buy some to take home?

Before the words came out, a taxi stopped not far away, and someone got off, Gu Chaoming asked Lin Jianfan: "Are you going back by car? If you take a car, I will stop you."

After hesitating, Lin Jianfan nodded.

Gu Chaoming waved for a taxi and pushed Lin Jianfan into it.The taxi started, and Gu Chaoming stood there watching the taxi take Lin Jianfan away.

After sending Lin Jianfan away, Gu Chaoming sat down on a sheltered step, took out his mobile phone and called Su Bing who hadn't come yet.

As soon as Su Bing answered the phone, Gu Chaoming immediately asked, "Why haven't you come yet? Lin Jianfan has left."

"Without little Fan Fan, Gu Shuai, are you lonely?"

Gu Chaoming scolded him: "Fuck off, you are lonely."

"I have my girlfriend, so I'm not lonely."

Gu Chaoming originally wanted to tell him to hurry up, but when he heard that Su Bing had a girlfriend again?

"When did you have it?" Gu Chaoming asked.

"Just now, a girl confessed to me, and I agreed."

"It seems that your reputation as a scumbag hasn't spread far enough, and someone will confess to you." Gu Chaoming said.

Su Bing was dissatisfied with the title of scumbag: "I'm not a scumbag at all, okay. And I'm here, at the soup shop you posted about, where are you?"

Gu Chaoming stood up and patted the ashes on his pants: "Stand there and don't move, Dad is coming to find you."

Hanging up the phone, a gust of cold wind passed through the clothes, bringing layers of coldness, and the temperature dropped at night as Cen Xili said.

This is really going to winter, Gu Chaoming thought.

Seeing that the tears left by Fan on his shoulders were still wet, Gu Chaoming put the phone in his pocket and reached out to touch the wetness.

The scene of Lin Jianfan crying came to mind again, he was hugging him, the neon lights were flickering, passers-by hurried past, the moonlight was thin and the cold wind was rampant tonight, and he hugged Lin Jianfan for the first time.

Although Gu Chaoming has never raised a kitten or puppy, he has watched the news and TV dramas, and sometimes he can see people who are sad and depressed because of the death of a pet they have been with for a long time. Gu Chaoming can understand.When returning to look for Su Bing through the snack street, he would look more often than usual when he saw someone leading a puppy on the road.

As he walked, Gu Chaoming wondered what Lin Jianfan's Guoguo looked like, and quickened his pace. After a while, he saw Su Bing standing next to a few stone pier not far from the soup shop and looking this way.

"You're pretty quick, I thought it would take a while." Su Bing took out the key in his pocket and threw it to Gu Chaoming, who caught it: "Thanks."

"Why should I thank you? If you want to thank me, hurry up and take me to dinner." Su Bing said.

Gu Chaoming made an OK gesture, took Su Bing to dinner, and accompanied Su Bing to the supermarket to buy a bunch of snacks after dinner, and did not take a taxi home until ten o'clock or eleven o'clock.

In the car, Gu Chaoming held a large bag of snacks on his lap, and said to Su Bing who was playing with his mobile phone, "There are still a lot of them in the refrigerator. You bought so many, you can finish them."

Without taking his eyes off the phone screen, Su Bing replied while typing, "Just in case."

After finishing speaking, he turned his head and asked Gu Chaoming seriously: "You really don't plan to move out again? I think the house we saw last time is very good, and the rent is not expensive."

Su Bing still wanted to persuade Gu Chaoming.Who is Gu Tao?After only a few encounters, Su Bing felt that he was an unreasonable person.

Gu Chaoming in that kind of family is like a sheep entering the tiger's den. Maybe one day Gu Tao goes crazy, and Gu Chaoming comes to school with an injury the next day.

"I thought you would resist and move out." Su Bing said.

"I think so too, but it's not so easy. I'm still in school now. If he wants to come to me, he just needs to stop me at school. I can't help it."

After saying the words "no way", Gu Chaoming clearly understood that his life was tightly shackled by the words "Gu Tao".

He looked out the window, there were no pedestrians on the street, only the street lights receding.

The night was quiet, the drivers were not so chatty and wanted to talk to them, and the voice of the radio anchor filled the car.Gu Chaoming leaned against the back of the chair and tilted his head, and continued: "The little money I have in hand can support me now, but in the future, there are tens of thousands of places where the money will be used."

"Where's your mother? You are his own son, so he won't leave you alone." Su Bing asked.

Gu Chaoming moved his fingers, and the plastic bag in his hand rattled. He thought about following his mother before, but her mother already had her new life, and Gu Chaoming didn't want to disturb her.

Gu Chaoming replied to Su Bing: "I'm going to see her tomorrow, and she will give me living expenses tomorrow."

"Okay, when are you going to move your luggage? I can only live in the old house for one day. You keep the key for yourself. Don't lose it. The last one, there is no backup." Su Bing said.

Gu Chaoming yawned and nodded holding a bunch of snacks.

"Tired?" Su Bing asked.

"Whoever is like you is alive and well all day long, and can even toss around in the middle of the night."

Su Bing was not convinced: "I'm also the one who has been fighting openly and covertly with Homework all morning, okay?"

"Then how do you feel? Is it useful?" Gu Chaoming asked.

"That teacher is okay."

"How many points are you going to take this time?"

"It's about the same as you."

"So low?"

"Gu Shuai, you are humbled. I think your grades are not bad, and you work so hard. Two of our auspicious three treasures study so hard. I have to keep up."

"You got a new tube of chicken blood today? Now that you figure it out, you have to study hard?" Gu Chaoming asked.

Su Bing, who didn't want to study for a hundred years, actually nodded his head.

"Gu Shuai." Su Bing called him.

Gu Chaoming turned his head away: "Huh?"

"Have you thought about which university to go to?"

"Why do you ask this all of a sudden?"

"My new make-up teacher asked me today. He saw that I didn't want to study at all, so he chatted with me a lot."

"And then I brainwashed you?"

"... Anyway, that's it, have you thought about it? The three of us can go to the same university in the future."

Su Bing's words evoke Gu Chaoming's memory, the nights when he studied hard to please Qu Yingyi's new men, and the night when he searched for colleges online for the first time.

Gu Chaoming shook his head: "No."

Su Bing sat closer and advised him: "You are still a high school student, you can't leave school, there is a fixed place, your dad can find you, but it will be different if you are admitted to university, you can leave this place City, as long as you don’t tell your dad which school you applied for, you will be free when you leave with your suitcase. Your dad doesn’t know where to find you if he wants to. At that time, the three of us will go to the same university and choose the same university. Major, see if you can be assigned to a class, a dormitory would be even better, so that the three of us don’t have to be separated. Four years, there is still a long way to go, now you are bound by your father, in another year or two, After you finish the college entrance examination, you can take off as soon as the cage is opened."

Su Bing no longer thinks about how to persuade Gu Chaoming to escape from Gu Tao's clutches. They are still immature fruits and cannot be separated from the trunk, so he has to wait until the day when he is capable.

Gu Chaoming didn't answer Su Bing, and turned his gaze out of the window. He suddenly wanted to see the snow, although winter had not officially arrived yet.

When it snows, there is a vast expanse of whiteness, and everything is clean.

Leave this city, leave Gu Tao, stay with Cen Xili and Su Bing who can make you happy, have a free life, don't have to worry about being beaten, don't have to worry about Gu Tao every day, all the conditions are so attractive , attracted him.

That seemed to be a beautiful life separated by clouds, which he couldn't touch.What Su Bing said was wonderful, almost like Plato in his life, but Gu Zhaoming also thought of many exceptions when he was looking forward to that wonderful world.

If he doesn't pass the exam, if Gu Tao knows his school from other people, it's extremely simple, where should he go when he returns home for the Chinese New Year during the university holiday...

All kinds of problems, a small mistake may repeat the same mistakes.

The world Su Bing described is so beautiful that although Gu Chaoming can list all kinds of accidents, he still can't help but look forward to it, to hope that there will be such a day.

Others hope that high school will end early because they are tired from studying, but Gu Chaoming hopes to leave this city and Gu Tao as soon as possible.

He planted a seed of hope on the night of the handover between autumn and winter, hoping to reap many fruits in the summer of his third year of high school.

When the car stopped, Gu Chaoming opened the door and got out of the car with a plastic bag of snacks in his arms. The cold wind relentlessly scoured the heat from the human body and robbed them of their temperature.

When Su Bing closed the car door, he was embraced by the cold wind: "It's really cold, winter is coming."

The car started and drove away slowly. Su Bing pulled his coat to resist the cold. He wanted to enter the house early, but Gu Chaoming behind him stopped him.

"Miss Su."

Su Bing turned around and saw that Gu Chaoming was still standing where he just got off the car, and there was exactly a taxi distance between them.

The hair on Gu Chaoming's forehead fluttered wildly in the cold night wind, and the scar on his forehead only left a very shallow, invisible layer.

Wearing a black coat with Lin Jianfan's tears on his shoulders, Gu Chaoming, carrying a bag full of snacks from the supermarket, said to Su Bing in the dark night wind: "Mom, let's go to the same school as Xilikao."

The wind was so cold that it pierced people's skin and bones, and the young man's words were scorching hot, showing firmness that the wind was not cold.

Su Bing looked at him and smiled knowingly.

The young people are like-minded, so there is no need to say much.

Su Bing put his hands in his pockets to keep out the cold, smiled and nodded, "Okay."

Su Bing walked up to Gu Chaoming with big strides, and put his hand on Gu Chaoming's shoulder: "Brother, Xili's family is also in the top [-] of the grade. It's very difficult to be admitted to the same school as him."

Gu Chaoming also laughed: "Have you finally realized the big gap?"

Su Bing dragged him to the house: "That's why we scumbags can't hold back Xi Li. Hurry up and get inside, it's freezing outside."

After entering the house, Gu Chaoming sorted out the things he bought and put them in the refrigerator by category. Only then did he realize that Su Bing bought some weird little girl’s things at some point. The pink ones were placed on the table. Practical use, specially used for gift giving.

Su Bing is taking a shower in the bathroom, don't think that the things of such a little girl must be given to his new girlfriend.

After tidying things up, Gu Chaoming turned on the TV and watched it for a while. Su Bing came out of the steaming bathroom, wiped his hair with a towel on his head, and said to Gu Chaoming: "I'm done washing, you go wash it." Bar."

Gu Chaoming poked his head out from the sofa and pointed at the pink gift on the table and asked Su Bing, "Did you buy it for your new girlfriend?"

Su Bing walked to the table, hung the bath towel on his head around his neck, his hair was still dripping, picked up the object Gu Chaoming pointed to on the table and shook it: "You mean this?"

Gu Chaoming nodded.

"This one is for Fang Niya. She didn't go out to win the competition this time. She told me, so I wanted to send something to congratulate."

Su Bing took the gift box and looked left and right, and explained to Gu Chaoming while reading the instruction manual: "Fang Niya likes this kind of pink thing."

"Your new girlfriend is Fang Niya?" Gu Chaoming asked.

Su Bing turned his head and looked at Gu Chaoming strangely: "Why do you always mention my new girlfriend? Who said Fang Niya is my girlfriend?"

"Don't you say you made a new girlfriend today, why don't you send her off?"

"Pink is what she hates the most, and she especially likes outdoor sports, such as mountain climbing and rock climbing." Su Bing said.

After listening to Gu Chaoming, he couldn't help asking: "Are you sure you can beat her in the future?"

Su Bing thought for a while: "It should work..."

Su Bing's words became more and more emboldened. Although the girl was short and short, she seemed to have great strength based on the sports she liked.

Su Bing regretted a bit: "Do you think it's too late for me to exercise now?"

"It will be faster for you to dream now." Gu Chaoming said solemnly.

"Go and take your bath, she is not so violent, she won't do anything to me."

Seeing Su Bing's sweet expression, Gu Chaoming said "Hey", sat up, leaned against the sofa, folded his hands behind his head, and asked Su Bing, "Since she's not your girlfriend, who is Fang Niya?"

Su Bing held the pink gift and looked at Gu Chaoming: "I still remember you, but you don't remember me."

Gu Chaoming said "Ah?", doubts crept up his face, and he searched for the three words Fang Niya in his mind.

Seeing Gu Chaoming's confused face, Su Bing kindly reminded him, "She's a freshman in high school, she's a pretty girl."

No matter how much Gu Chaoming searched, he still couldn't remember.

Gu Chaoming: "...Are you sure I've seen her? Do you have a picture? Show me, maybe I can remember it."

Su Bing was helpless, put down the gift in his hand, dragged his slippers, walked to Gu Chaoming and sat down, picked up his mobile phone on the table, clicked on the photo album and complained about Gu Chaoming: "Gu Shuai, you are the memory of a fish!"

Gu Chaoming leaned towards Su Bing, looked at Su Bing's phone, and rows of photos slid with Su Bing's fingers.

I don’t know, I’m scared.

"Damn it, you took so many ugly photos of us and didn't tell me, you're hiding it as black material."

Su Bing suppressed a smile. Most of the places where his fingers passed were snapshots and candid shots. There were Gu Chaoming and Cen Xili.

"Delete it for me!" Gu Chaoming threatened Su Bing.

"Don't think I don't know that you have it in your phone, more than me." Su Bing shot back.

Gu Chaoming turned off the ignition. Indeed, there are many black photos in his mobile phone, some of which can be shown to Su Bing and Su Bing can strangle him to death on the spot.

Su Bing rowed for a while, but Gu Chaoming was a little impatient to see that he still couldn't find it: "Why do you have so many photos... Hey, wait a minute."

One of the piles of photos hastily passed by caught Gu Chaoming's attention.

Su Bing let go of his hand and said, "I haven't found it yet, what did you see?"

Gu Chaoming swiped up the screen and found the photo that caught his attention. When he saw the photo, he couldn't help sighing: "This person looks good no matter how you take it."

The photo is an ordinary to unremarkable photo, the composition is also messy, and there are many redundant characters and scenes beside it.

The photo was taken in a sunny playground with good light, and it can be seen at a glance from the white shirt on his body that it was during the sports meeting.

In the photo, Lin Jianfan is carrying a box of mineral water in his hand, the camera is shaking around his neck, and his hair is a little drenched in sweat.

"Is this the day of the opening ceremony of the sports meeting? You are still wearing that shirt." Gu Chaoming said.

"It should be. Anyway, it was the days of the sports meeting. I forgot whether you and Xi Li were going to the toilet or what to do. At that time, I was alone waiting for the two of you. I saw Fan, carrying a box of water. I wondered at the time that he only needed to take pictures, why did he go to carry the water again, and then I thought it might be thrown to him by someone else.”

Su Bing continued to look for Fang Niya's photos, Gu Chaoming looked back, leaned on the sofa, rested his head on the back of the sofa, and looked at the roof.

A huge crystal chandelier hangs on the roof, and the light repeatedly reflects golden light.

Gu Chaoming was fascinated, it was dark night outside the window, and the house was as bright as day.It was cold outside, but warm inside like spring. Gu Chaoming looked at the golden chandelier on the roof. Looking directly at the light would be very dazzling, leaving black shadows in his eyes.

Su Bing flicked his mobile phone to look for Fang Niya's photos, and the colorful photos flashed by in front of his eyes, and he heard the quiet Gu Chaoming ask, "What do you think of Lin Jianfan?"

Su Bing turned his head suspiciously: "Why do you ask this suddenly?"

Gu Chaoming also turned his head, his gaze met Su Bing's.

"I'll just ask."

"Just ask?"

Gu Chaoming nodded.

Su Bing hesitated for a while, and said: "I think he is very nice, handsome, but he likes to please others and is easy to be bullied, but now he is better, and for the first time, I heard him refuse."

"Then what do you think we have to do with him?" Gu Chaoming asked after Su Bing's words.

"Students? You can count them as friends." Su Bing said.

"It's a friend." Gu Chaoming repeated with a feeling of disappointment.

"What? You don't have enough friends, and you still want to develop further? Have you figured it out?" Su Bing came over with a gossipy face. Sure enough, he was right to wait so late on purpose to see Gu Chaoming this evening.

"Where did you go?" Gu Chaoming pushed Su Bing away, and continued to look at the chandelier on the roof.

"Do you think he thinks we are his friends?" Gu Chaoming asked again looking at the dazzling chandelier.

"What tongue twister did you say?" Su Bing asked, "Why do you have so many strange questions today? Did Lin Jianfan say anything to you when I wasn't here?"

Gu Chaoming shook his head: "Don't ask so many questions, just tell him if he thinks so."

Su Bing felt strange, something must have happened when he didn't come.After thinking for a while, Su Bing replied: "Lin Jianfan should regard us as friends, I think."

After finishing speaking, Su Bing asked him back: "Do you think he doesn't regard you as a good friend?"

Gu Chaoming also thought for a while, looked at the chandelier and hummed softly.

Su Bing didn't even look for any photos, so he asked Gu Chaoming, "Why do you think so?"

Gu Chaoming leaned on the sofa, his eyes fixed on one point, as if he was in a daze but not in a daze: "I think I regard him as a friend, but he doesn't regard me as a friend."

After hearing these words, Su Bing probably understood what Gu Chaoming meant by asking this question. The "we" behind the "we" just now was just incidental. The problem was in Gu Chaoming's feeling. What he actually wanted to ask was "Lin See if Fan regards him as a friend", not "Does Lin see Fan regard us as friends".

Based on his understanding of Gu Chaoming, Su Bing guessed that the reason Gu Chaoming asked the strange question was because he had classified Lin Jianfan into his own circle in his heart, but Lin Jianfan did not respond to his own division.

Su Bing asked Gu Chaoming: "Why do you think so?"

"That's how I feel." Gu Chaoming said.

"What do you think?" Su Bing put aside his usual funny look, and asked again: "Did he do something that made you feel that way?"

Gu Chaoming thought that Lin Jianfan hadn't done anything, so he shook his head.

"I just think that in his eyes, we are the same as the students in our class, there is no difference. Um... It's not that our classmates are not good, how should I put it..." Gu Chaoming had a complicated heart, he wanted to describe To be aware of this weird, uncomfortable feeling inside him that has haunted him all night.

Gu Chaoming withdrew his gaze from the chandelier, sat up, faced Su Bing in a formal tone and said, "I don't know if I can understand what I'm saying, or if you can understand it. It's just that I think Lin Jianfan's superficial He is friends with many people in the class. On the surface, he will try to please them, such as running errands, sweeping duty, topping bags, etc., but I think he must not treat those people as real good friends, just superficial friends He told me that he was not pleasing others, he didn't know how to say no, I said it's okay, we are all friends, you can't refuse others, you don't have to be so restrained with us, just say what you have to say, but he is still like this, today I asked him to eat, and he said he was not full after eating, and he was afraid that I would get angry and run over. I think he treats me just as well as the person who asked him to run errands."

Gu Chaoming omitted Lin Jianfan's crying that stopped abruptly as he lay in his arms. The sudden stop of crying made Gu Chaoming feel that it was impossible for him to get as close as Su Bing and Cen Xili to Lin Jianfan.

Su Bing listened to Gu Chaoming's long speech, and looked at him: "Gu Shuai, I think you are thinking too much. Lin Jianfan will not refuse people, and I think he didn't treat those who asked him to run errands. As a friend, I think he treats you more as a friend. You said that he treats you the same as our classmates, which makes you uncomfortable, right? "

Gu Chaoming turned his head to look at Su Bing, and Su Bing continued: "Don't always think according to your fixed thinking, you should think about it the other way around, maybe Lin Jianfan really regards you as a good friend, that's why he treats you Your invitation has already finished dinner and you still don’t want to reject you, and want to have dinner with you. I still attach great importance to you as a friend. You can focus on Lin Jianfan because he wants to be with you, because he values ​​you, not because he wants to please our classmates, this is also an answer."

After hearing this, Gu Chaoming lowered his eyes, because Lin Jianfan was so impressed with pleasing people that he had never thought about it in the opposite direction like Su Bing. He always had only one way, and he wanted Lin Jianfan to learn to refuse. Fan uses the favor on himself.

"You will ask this kind of question, which means that you also regard him as a good friend. You really care about his attitude towards you, or his attitude towards you is not what you want or think, so There will be some psychological imbalance, and you think in your heart how he treats you? As long as you don’t lie to you? Don’t please? Or something else? What you think is just what you think, maybe others don’t necessarily set the boundaries of friends like this It’s just that you want to be special to him in your own heart, but different to others. And once you start thinking this way, he is also special to you, because you want yourself to be special in his heart .do you understand?"

special?

Gu Chaoming repeated in his heart.

Before I knew it, did I expect myself to be special to Lin Jianfan?Gu Chaoming seemed to understand.

Su Bing went on to say: "From my point of view, just from my point of view, I think Lin Jianfan actually cares about you. Among the three of us, his best friend is you. I heard that he just came here When Wu Shan told him bad things about us, Lin Jianfan didn’t believe it. Although I sat close to him, the intersection between me and him is on the plane, while the intersection between you and him is from top to bottom. It's not staying at the shallow level like us."

Su Bing continued to use gestures and strokes as he spoke, afraid that he would not understand: "I think he cares about you as much as you care about him. I don't have any specific reasons for thinking this way. I just feel that way, the sixth sense. And You said you would give him to me at the beginning of school, I think you are more suitable, if you two are together, I am not surprised at all. But since you said you are still friends, then you are friends."

Gu Chaoming didn't tell Su Bingtang what happened in the store, and he also comforted Lin Jianfan. This is the deep communication Su Bing said.

He cares about you too, he just wants to have dinner with you, he will tell you what is on his mind, he will cry in your arms, he believes in you, you think you are special to him.

All kinds of thoughts are like floods rushing away boulders blocking the road, sharp swords splitting layers of dark clouds, the depression that has been suppressed in the bottom of my heart for a night is resolved, the fog is broken, and the world is clear.

Gu Chaoming was understood by a long paragraph of Su Bing's words. Su Bing saw the bright light in Gu Chaoming's dull eyes, and Su Bing knew that what he said was not in vain.

The corners of Gu Chaoming's mouth curled up slightly unconsciously, and the gloom all night disappeared in an instant, like unloading a burden that had been carried for a long time.

Gu Chaoming figured it out, and no longer bothered by the problems he imagined. He briskly stood up from the sofa, took the prepared clothes, and trotted to the bathroom to take a shower.

Su Bing grinned, and shouted at Gu Chaoming who had gone away: "I was talking nonsense just now, and there is also Fang Niya's photo, do you still want to see it?"

Gu Chaoming had already walked into the bathroom, and his voice came muffled to the living room through the bathroom wall: "If you find me, watch it."

Then there was the sound of water in the bathroom, Su Bing smiled, raised his leg, took a pillow to cushion it, and lay leisurely on the sofa to continue looking for photos.

In the end, Gu Chaoming didn't see the photo of Fang Niya that Su Bing said.