the world in which he exists

There are nine out of ten things in the world that don't meet your wishes.

In the autumn night, the floor is hard and cold, like a piece of ice that cannot be held warm, but if you hold it tightly, it will steal your own warmth.

The chill on the floor raged, and the boy on the floor slowly opened his eyes, and the exhaustion of his limbs was driven away by the cold.After Gu Chaoming opened his eyes, there was only one feeling left - cold.

The cold that wraps outside the skin and seeps into the cracks in the bones.

Gu Chaoming lay on the ground curled up slightly, his body hadn't resumed normal work after waking up, the coldness of the floor and the soreness from sleeping on the hard floor arrived first.

The door that could not be closed was ajar, and the door was riddled with holes, sawdust turned out, and hideous scars glaring.The misty light and shadow of the TV in the living room with the lights off fell on the hideous scars. Gu Chaoming leaned against the floor, listening to the sound of the TV swaggering into the room.The coldness of the floor colludes with the choroidal nerves, and the coldness climbs up along the complicated veins, drilling straight into the heart, competing for territory with the last heartbeat.

Limbs were stiff, jerky like a machine that had been left for a long time, Gu Chaoming supported his body with jerky arms, and slowly sat up from the floor enduring the pain.

Gu Chaoming didn't know whether it was a coincidence or Gu Tao really learned the mysterious skills. He just woke up and stretched the floor to get up. The door of the room full of holes was pushed open, and the misty light and shadow of the TV fell from the door panel. Gu Tao slowly appeared In front of him.

Gu Tao kicked Gu Chaoming, who was supporting his upper body with his arms, with his toes: "Still pretending to be strangled, can't you pretend? Continue."

Leaning his back against the bed which was as hard as the floor, Gu Chaoming ignored Gu Tao's provocation, his eyes were distracted, and his eyes fluttered around the room as light as a feather, landing on the suitcase not far from the bed in the room.

He was dazzled by the score in the last midterm exam, and he was proud of the extra [-] points, so he packed his suitcase and prepared to start his new journey.

At that time, he foolishly thought that it was a new chapter in his life, but he didn't realize that what awaited him was a familiar hell.

It's not that an angel fell into hell. Gu Chaoming is an original resident of hell. He just hopes to be ruined and return to his original place.

The young man stared at the suitcase behind Gu Tao and wanted to escape. What inspired him to escape was not anyone's encouragement, but Gu Tao's abuse and unreasonable violence.

He wants to leave, he wants to escape, but where can he go?

The new life he has been waiting for has no place for him. Gu Tao said it harshly, but he was right, his mother just abandoned him.

Heartbroken, Gu Chaoming quietly put his palm into his pocket amidst Gu Tao's broken thoughts, and his broad palm touched the cold mobile phone in his pocket.He wanted to call his mother, but the night outside the window and the darkness in the room were silently reminding him that Qu Yingyi was already asleep, calling would only disturb her.

Knowing that he was abandoned, Gu Chaoming gave up the idea of ​​making a phone call, and stroked the unlit cell phone in his pocket like stroking the cheek of a newborn baby.

There was only Gu Tao's cursing in the air, and Gu Chaoming didn't say a word, until Gu Tao walked out of the room, he also leaned against the bed, motionless, only in the pocket that Gu Tao couldn't see, Gu Chaoming gently stroked it with his fingers. Dark phone screen.

The door smashed by Gu Tao lost its lock, and it could no longer be closed like a wound on the door that could not heal.

Gu Tao walked out of the room, and Gu Chaoming leaned against the bed for a while.

He was in a daze, staring at the suitcase standing up not far away.

He was thinking, thinking about whether he should take this step, and what would be the consequences of taking this step?

Will your life get better?Will you live a life free from daily fear?

Gu Chaoming's answer is definitely not, but there is not so much rationality and correct thinking in life, it is more about impulsiveness and knowing the result but will not shrink back because of fear of change.

It doesn't matter if the result can't be changed, and it doesn't matter if there are thousands of troops, as long as you have a sharp gun in your heart, you dare to go alone if you want to go your own way.

Leaning on the side of the bed to think about the answer, Gu Chaoming looked like a fully fueled assault vehicle in the quiet night. He got up from the floor, the pain in his body could not be cared about, as if it had never existed, and there was no pain on his face.

Gu Chaoming walked quickly to the suitcase, and Gu Chaoming packed the suitcase that was overturned by Gu Tao last time.

Unzipping the suitcase, Gu Chaoming opened the closet, and stuffed the clothes he often wore in the closet into the suitcase.

Photos, homework... Nothing left behind.

Gu Tao's clairvoyant heard the movement of Gu Chaoming packing up his things, and he appeared in Gu Chaoming's room again with a beer bottle in his hand. Seeing that Gu Chaoming was packing his luggage again, a mocking and disdainful sneer appeared on his face: "Oh, this Do you want to leave again? Where are you going? Where can I keep you?"

There is only one thought in Gu Chaoming's mind, to leave this house and leave this man in front of him.Leaving is the overlord, and no other idea has the slightest ability to occupy a place.

Gu Chaoming ignored the words that came out of Gu Tao's mouth, neither listened nor responded, and remained silent as usual.

"Go out and sleep on the street?" Gu Tao was still laughing.

"It's none of your business." Gu Chaoming couldn't help but reply as he packed his luggage.

"Oh, you've got a temper."

Gu Chaoming persuaded himself not to confront Gu Tao and ignore what Gu Tao said, but Gu Chaoming couldn't help but retaliate, and the consequence of retaliation was that Gu Tao kicked over the suitcase again.

The nerves betrayed Gu Chaoming, and instilled the coldness of autumn night into Gu Chaoming's heart.

Gu Chaoming watched helplessly as the things in the suitcase danced and scattered in the air.

Gu Chaoming forced himself not to talk to him anymore, and picked up the things that Gu Tao kicked over.

Gu Chaoming ignored it, and Gu Tao laughed even more arrogantly: "Let's go, you go."

In the dark night, the items in Gu Chaoming's suitcase danced and fell in the air again, and Gu Tao lifted Gu Chaoming's suitcase again.Gu Chaoming held back the anger that was about to burst out.

In the natural world, water and fire are natural enemies and cannot be blended together, but in Gu Chaoming's heart, the freezing coldness and burning anger exist so harmoniously.

They exist together in a small corner of Gu Chaoming's heart, the ice is biting to the bone, and the heat is burning.

Gu Chaoming held back the anger in his heart and picked up Gu Tao's overturned luggage.

Don't talk back, Gu Chaoming told himself.

The suitcase was repeatedly overturned by Gu Tao two or three times, and the backlog of anger in his heart was already at its peak, driving away the chill in his body, and blood rushing to his head.

Hot blood poured out, Gu Tao's face was ugly, Gu Chaoming finally couldn't help standing up.

Before he stood up straight, a crisp slap sounded like a farewell gift from Gu Tao to Gu Chaoming.

The sound was crisp and clear, echoing in the night.

Gu Chaoming's head was tilted to one side, his cheeks were hot, and his mouth became more and more bitter.

Unreasonable bitterness stuck in Gu Chaoming's 17 years of life.

A crisp slap ignited Gu Chaoming's anger and broke Gu Chaoming's rationality.

Accepting violence, can we only use violence to counter violence, can we only use violence to fight back?

Gu Chaoming wandered back and forth between reason and relief.

Gu Chaoming's rationality once again resisted Gu Chaoming's palm that he wanted to raise and wave towards Gu Tao.

He finally chose to give up, because he knew that if he slapped that slap, he would be the same as Gu Tao.

Violent, brutal, impulsive, hopeless.

That's just inheriting Gu Tao's violent factors, inheriting what he hates the most.

The last thing Gu Chaoming wants to become is the same person as Gu Tao.

Gu Chaoming, who was slapped, did not fight back. He squatted down and continued to pack his luggage. Gu Tao didn't know his determination to leave.

"Want to go? Go, go, go, out of sight."

"I still have to go to the canteen to pay for me when I leave."

"Why did you pack up so slowly?"

A pillow hit Gu Chaoming's head, Gu Chaoming didn't dodge, he packed his luggage carefully and quickly, afraid that Gu Tao would go crazy and overturn his suitcase again.

Without Gu Tao's obstruction, Gu Chaoming quickly packed his luggage, zipped it up, and picked up the packed suitcase.

Gu Tao, who had been mocking and persuading him to pack up and leave quickly, waited for Gu Chaoming to pack up and prepare to leave, but suddenly changed his mind and refused to let him go.

"It's a long shot."

Gu Chaoming glared fiercely at Gu Tao who was blocking the road, grabbed the beer bottle in Gu Tao's hand and threw it on the ground forcefully, expressing his determination.

The green beer bottle shattered from the middle, glass shards flew down, and the incision of the beer bottle shattered into jagged shapes.

Gu Chaoming bent down to pick up the broken beer bottle, and held the upper part of the beer bottle. He made up his mind and pointed the jagged cut of the beer bottle at Gu Tao.

"Get out of the way!" Gu Chaoming grabbed the handle of the suitcase and yelled at Gu Tao.

Gu Tao was a little frightened by Gu Chaoming's sudden resistance.The reason he kept pushing him in the kitchen was because Gu Tao knew that Gu Chaoming didn't have the courage, but now Gu Chaoming in front of him, with bloody eyes shining, and the hand holding the beer bottle didn't tremble at all, he didn't look scared in the kitchen at all.

Gu Tao knows that he is no longer the opponent of 17-year-old Gu Chaoming when he is too old. He relied on Gu Chaoming's cowardice and morality to run amok, and now all these have disappeared in Gu Chaoming's eyes.

Gu Tao was startled, for a moment he was really afraid that Gu Chaoming would stab him.

Gu Tao backed away, but still insisted: "If you have the ability to leave, don't come back if you have the ability. Let me see you at home, so you don't want to go to school again."

The beer bottle shattered again, more thoroughly, and the shards of glass scattered on the floor. After Gu Tao got out of the way, Gu Chaoming smashed the beer bottle that was threatening Gu Tao in his hand to the ground, and then dragged the suitcase around the retreating car. Gu Tao walked out of the house.

He had never walked so resolutely, never turned his head, never gave Gu Tao a look.The door panel was slammed shut, announcing his departure.

The anger in his heart was not extinguished, and the heat was hot. Gu Chaoming didn't know how he kept calm and pointed at Gu Tao with a beer bottle in such an angry situation, and he didn't show any timidity.

He was trembling with fear when he was in the kitchen, and he dropped the kitchen knife and ran back to the room in fear, but just now he was holding a beer bottle and facing Gu Tao surprisingly calmly.

That was the irrational self, and Gu Chaoming was afraid of such a self while dragging his suitcase.

A self he's never seen before manipulates him unconsciously.

Is the string of reason still broken?

Dragging the suitcase downstairs, the overhead sensor lights turned on, and there was even a sign of the sun rising in the sky, and there was only a little white in the gray air.

Going outside, Gu Chaoming, who gave up thinking, felt that the cold had returned to his body.Drowsiness and exhaustion came later, Gu Chaoming still wanted to sleep, the pain in his body could not be ignored by him.

The things in the box were in a mess, but Gu Chaoming packed everything he needed to bring, and even hurriedly remembered to carry the schoolbag hanging on the chair on his back.

Gu Chaoming, who left his home for 17 years, was hit by Gu Tao - he had nowhere to go.

Gu Chaoming, who left home impulsively, dragged his suitcase and walked on the deserted road. He wanted to call his mother, but he couldn't.

It was almost dawn, the autumn wind was bleak, and he was alone.

Gu Chaoming wandered aimlessly, he just wanted to escape from that home.Gu Tao's words are harsh, but some are right, such as Gu Chaoming now.

Gu Chaoming, who really didn't want to leave, sat down on the side of the road, and saw a steamed stuffed bun shop open along the way.Gu Chaoming was so tired that he could fall asleep on the electric pole.

Sitting on the side of the road and flicking on the phone, wanting to see what can be done.

The lit phone screen showed that Gu Chaoming had received another sum of money.

Did you know that he ran away from home and needed money?

Physically exhausted, Gu Chaoming was still in the mood to play cold jokes on himself.

The money was transferred from Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan said: "The medical expenses don't need to be so much."

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan's message on the phone screen and frowned, "Tsk": "Why is this kid so stubborn, even if you say so, you still have to pass it on to me."

Gu Chaoming transferred back the money Lin Jianfan transferred to him, according to what he said in the taxi plus a certain amount of growth.

Unexpectedly, just after the transfer of the money, Lin saw Fan back, and Gu Chaoming was sitting on the side of the road holding his mobile phone in shock. He glanced at the empty roadside where only the door had been opened earlier, and then checked the time on the mobile phone: "It's so late. Didn't sleep? Or are you already up?"

"I'm a light sleeper, aren't you still asleep? Are you still up?" Lin Jianfan asked.

Gu Chaoming didn't know how to answer, and he didn't want to tell Lin Jianfan that he was chatting with him with his mobile phone on the empty roadside.

Gu Chaoming said casually: "I can't sleep, it's up to now."

"Are you insomnia?" Lin Jianfan asked.

Gu Chaoming replied casually with "um".

Not surprisingly, Lin Jianfan believed everything Gu Chaoming said. Lin Jianfan didn't reply for a while, Gu Zhaoming thought he would not reply again, so he looked for a place to stay on his mobile phone.

Flipping through various pages, Lin saw that Fan's information exploded wildly, to the point that Gu Chaoming was annoying, so he was forced to click on it.

I wanted to reply him "Are you annoying?", but when I saw the message from Lin Jianfan, the only soft part left in Gu Chaoming's cold heart was licked and bit by Lin Jianfan's concern, and it was bitten on his heart like a small animal's teeth. Itching, like fallen leaves swept by a strong wind, with the power of the wind, it cut and pierced Gu Chaoming's last line of defense.

The messages that Lin Jianfan sent were all about how to treat insomnia. Lin Jianfan also told him to remember to take medicine, followed by a series of voices.Gu Chaoming clicked to listen. Lin saw Fan's pleasant voice was soft, but the content of what he said was repeated like an old woman: "Remember to take medicine, that..."

Listening to Lin Jianfan's voice from the mobile phone, Gu Chaoming couldn't hold back his tears, but couldn't bear them at all.

Over the mountains, rivers and wild rivers, soaked through the fields and paths.

Someone cares about him, in the dark night, in the cold wind.

Gu Chaoming was a big man, with the receiver of his mobile phone facing his ear, tears streaming down his cheeks.Gu Chaoming knew that he couldn't control his emotions, so he lowered his head, buried it in the bed, and tried to sniff his nose to calm his mood.

Gu Chaoming, you are so worthless.

Uncontrollable tears dripped on the side of the road, and Gu Chaoming's shoulders shook from sobbing.Gu Chaoming couldn't control himself, he had never cried like this before, all the emotions that seemed to be forbearance erupted.

The phone was still vibrating, but Gu Chaoming didn't reply, the coldness and anger in his heart were vulnerable under the impact of tears.

Also vulnerable is Gu Chaoming.

He suddenly wanted to curl up into a ball, like a baby curled up in his mother's arms, like a small animal curled up in a warm nest.

He seemed to be cut off from everything in the world, only crying himself.

Gu Chaoming hugged himself for a long time, until the tears receded and his emotions returned to normal.

Taking a deep breath and wiping away the tears on his cheeks, Gu Chaoming raised his head, thinking it was just an accidental loss of control.

Gu Chaoming, who wiped away his tears, was afraid that his voice would reveal himself, so he typed and lied: "Go to sleep, I'm asleep too."

"OK, good night."

Gu Chaoming smiled and replied good morning to him.

Dawn has broken and it's time for a new day.