the world in which he exists

Papa Lin's car wasn't driving fast, Lin saw Fan suddenly yelled, and Papa Lin immediately found a place to park and stopped.

As soon as the car stopped, Lin Jianfan in the back seat immediately opened the door and ran out of the car.Father Lin was a step slower than him. After getting out of the car, he saw his son running towards a boy in a black coat who looked uncomfortable as he was holding on to a tree trunk by the side of the road.

Gu Chaoming originally wanted to go out for a walk, relax, and see if he could relieve his headache.Going out and walking around, the headache has not been relieved, not only has it not been relieved, but it has become more and more serious.It was cold in the autumn night, and Gu Chaoming wanted to vomit for a while, but he couldn't vomit anything while holding the tree by the roadside.

Gu Chaoming, who was holding on to the tree trunk, didn't notice Father Lin's car parked not far from him. Gu Chaoming didn't know it was him until Lin Jianfan got off the car and ran to him.

Gu Chaoming raised his drowsy head and looked at Lin Jianfan who was running. Lin Jianfan looked anxious and asked with concern: "Are you okay?"

Gu Chaoming waved his hand at Lin Jianfan in refusal: "Leave me alone, I'm fine."

"Student, are you alright?"

Hearing a strange voice, Gu Chaoming raised his eyes and looked at Father Lin who was running behind Lin Jianfan.Gu Chaoming had never seen this man before, Lin saw Fan looked at Gu Chaoming with his father's confused eyes, and explained to Gu Chaoming: "This is my father, he came to pick me up."

It turned out to be Lin Jianfan's father. Gu Chaoming only sent the drunk Lin Jianfan home last time to meet Lin's mother, a woman with an unforgettable temperament.Tonight, I saw Lin's father in a suit and leather shoes, and his conversation was extraordinary, so the two seemed to be a good match.

"Hello, Uncle." Although his head was dazed, Gu Chaoming still did not forget the politeness he should have.

"I'm fine, I'll be fine in a while." Gu Chaoming said to Papa Lin.

This is his own business, Gu Chaoming doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of others, but in the next second his body can't be controlled by him.His chest twitched for a while, and Gu Chaoming felt like vomiting again. Lin Jianfan noticed Gu Chaoming's strangeness, and immediately supported him.Gu Chaoming bent down and felt nauseous for a while, but didn't spit out anything.

The dizziness in the head was not relieved by the dry vomiting. Gu Chaoming couldn't hear what Dad Lin was saying, and only felt the tightness in his chest.

Seeing that Fan looked at Gu Chaoming in a particularly uncomfortable state, Lin touched his forehead worriedly.The temperature on Gu Chaoming's forehead was so high that Lin Jianfan was startled. Lin Jianfan asked for help and said to his father, "He seems to have caught a cold, and his forehead is terribly hot."

Seeing that Lin Jianfan was anxious, Father Lin also raised his hand to touch Gu Chaoming's forehead.

It is really hot.

Faced with this situation, the adults' first reaction was to notify the family members. Father Lin asked Gu Chaoming: "What is your family's phone number? Call and let them pick you up."

Gu Chaoming said, "It's okay, no need to call."

After finishing speaking, Gu Chaoming even smiled, wanting to show that his condition was not as bad as they thought.

Gu Chaoming's mind was in chaos. Seeing Fan supporting him, Lin felt that he was leaning more and more on his body, as if he had lost support.

Seeing that Gu Chaoming's condition was very bad, Father Lin frowned and said, "How can I do it without telling my parents?"

Lin Jianfan supported Gu Chaoming while touching his forehead, Gu Chaoming suddenly grabbed his waist, bent over and vomited without warning, and vomited out all the accumulated depression just now.

The vomit was too sudden, Lin saw that Fan supported Gu Chaoming and didn't care whether Gu Chaoming would vomit on him if he was too close, he hurriedly raised his hand to help Gu Chaoming pat his back, hoping that Gu Chaoming would feel more comfortable this way .

Gu Chaoming's thoughts were chaotic, and the scene in his eyes was blurred. He could only see the flickering lights on the side of the road, and Lin Jianfan's gradually blurred face in front of him.

There was a fire burning in my mind.

Father Lin felt that this was not going to work, so he had to go to the hospital first: "Student, please inform your family, I will take you to the hospital first."

Maybe the medicine taken at home worked, and Gu Chaoming felt very sleepy.He closed his eyes uncomfortably, if Lin Jianfan hadn't supported him, he would have fallen asleep as soon as he could.In a daze, he seemed to be helped into the car by someone, Gu Chaoming had no strength to resist, and when he opened his eyes again, it was all white.

The white medical bottle in front of him told him where he was.After waking up, the groggyness in my head is much better, and my stomach is not as uncomfortable as when I went out, but my body is still a little tired like after recovering from a serious illness.

There was only a little medicine left in the hanging bottle, and the ward was as quiet as if he was the only one.Gu Chaoming sat up slowly, and saw Lin Jianfan who could fall asleep sitting on the chair beside the bed.

Gu Chaoming patted Lin Jianfan's arm to wake him up: "Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan..."

Lin, who was still awake, saw Fan lean forward, and Gu Chaoming quickly supported him.Seeing Fan shaking his head, Lin saw that Gu Chaoming, who had passed out, was already sitting on the bed, blinking his eyes and regaining consciousness: "How do you feel?"

"Why am I here?" Gu Chaoming asked back.

Memory is like a bird returning to its nest, returning little by little. He seemed to be held up by someone in a daze, and then moved into the car in a daze, and then there was nothing more.

"You have a fever, we met you on the side of the road and sent you to the hospital." Lin Jianfan said.

"Thank you." Gu Chaoming nodded slightly in thanks.

Lin Jianfan smiled lightly and said, "It's okay, how do you feel?"

"What time is it?" Gu Chaoming didn't answer Lin Jianfan's question, and took a look at the mobile phone by the bedside. The mobile phone was full of Gu Tao's missed calls and messages.

Looking at the time again, it was already midnight, and Gu Chaoming, who was sitting on the bed, panicked.Talking about buying wine for Gu Tao, he didn't come home in the middle of the night, Gu Tao didn't know how he would go crazy at home.

After reading the message, Gu Chaoming quickly lifted the quilt and said to Lin Jianfan, "Thank you, I have to go home first."

Lin Jianfan was puzzled as to why Gu Chaoming was in such a hurry to go home after watching his phone, and advised him not to move around before the drip was finished, but Gu Chaoming still said he wanted to go home.

Seeing that Fan refused to let go, Gu Chaoming wanted to pull out the needle and leave.

The two disagreed. Father Lin just finished the phone call and walked into the ward from the outside. Seeing Gu Chaoming woke up on the bed, he asked with concern: "You're awake, how do you feel?"

Papa Lin came in and Gu Chaoming gave up the idea of ​​pulling out the needle, and said to Papa Lin, "Thank you Uncle, I'm much better."

"Just finish this bottle." Father Lin looked at the drip that was about to finish by the bed.

Gu Chaoming was embarrassed: "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Uncle, it's so late, let you wait together..."

Father Lin smiled: "It's nothing, the body is a big deal."

"It's so late, do you want to go home first, I can do it by myself." Gu Chaoming was afraid that Gu Tao would go crazy, so he still wanted to leave first.

Father Lin didn't understand what he meant, and said to Gu Chaoming who was on the bed who wanted to leave: "It's okay, I can't leave you alone in the hospital, anyway, tomorrow is Saturday, and I don't need to study. The medical bills have already been paid, so you should let me know first." Parents, it's late, they will be worried."

Gu Chaoming politely refused: "No, it's fine."

No one is worried about me, and I have no one to call.

Father Lin still asked: "Where do you live? The bottle is almost finished, I will take you home later."

Gu Chaoming hurriedly said no, and asked what kind of hospital it was, Gu Chaoming said to Lin's father: "My house is very close to here, there is no need to send it, I can just walk back by myself, it doesn't take many minutes, thank you uncle."

Gu Chaoming lied, he was not familiar with the road around the hospital, Gu Chaoming just didn't want to accept other people's kindness.

Dad Lin still seemed a little worried about letting Gu Chaoming go home alone in the middle of the night, but Gu Chaoming insisted again and again, so Dad Lin couldn't say anything more.

"Then be careful on the road." Father Lin instructed.

Gu Chaoming nodded: "Well, I will pay for the medical expenses..."

"No need, I've already paid, not much money, oh yes, see Fan, medicine."

As soon as Father Lin said, Lin Jianfan took the medicine from the table to Gu Chaoming, and carefully told him how to take it: "Take this after meals, three times a day, two tablets at a time, this..."

Gu Chaoming just wanted to go home quickly, but Lin's father said: "Lie down for a while, and the drip will be finished soon. The temperature difference in this day is huge, so pay attention to wearing more clothes."

Seeing Fan sitting on the stool next to the hospital bed and worrying silently, he took a bottle of water and asked Gu Chaoming, "Do you want to drink water?"

Gu Chaoming shook his head, Lin Jianfan asked him again if he was hungry and if he wanted to eat.

After the drip, the night has thickened to the deepest black.At the entrance of the hospital, Dad Lin asked, "Is there really no need to deliver it? It can be delivered in a few minutes."

Gu Chaoming smiled and shook his head: "No, today is already a lot of trouble for you. I will pay Lin Jianfan the medical expenses on Monday, thank you uncle."

"There's no need for medical expenses, so be careful on the road." Papa Lin said.

Seeing Fan getting into the car, Lin also told Gu Chaoming, "Remember to take medicine."

As the vehicle drove into the deeper night, Gu Chaoming looked at the direction the vehicle was leaving, and then looked at the empty roadside. There was no one there.

Gu Chaoming didn't know the road here very well, holding the medicine given by Lin Jianfan in his hand, he stopped cars while walking on the side of the road.After finally catching a taxi, Gu Chaoming got into the back seat of the car, and sent a message in the car to ask Lin Jianfan how much the medical bill was.

Seeing that Fan was as unwilling to say anything as he was back then, he just said, "No need."

Gu Chaoming said no, Lin Jianfan would chase him to ask how much the medical bill was, and Gu Chaoming's character showed that he would not follow behind others like Lin Jianfan.Lin Jianfan said no, but Gu Chaoming did not reply, and directly remitted a sum of money to Lin Jianfan according to the estimated price in his heart.

After remitting the money, Lin Jianfan was warned not to return it. If he did, he would remit more next time until he refused to return it.Gu Chaoming turned off his mobile phone and looked at the night scene outside the window, which was either dark or bright. He didn't know how long this kind of life would last.

Maybe for a lifetime, Gu Chaoming thought.

There will always be a starless night in front of you, endless crows shouting, and a desolate and endless road.

Even though it was midnight, Gu Chaoming still didn't forget to buy wine for Gu Tao. He saw a supermarket by the side of the road, asked the driver to stop the car, and went in to buy a few bottles of beer for Gu Tao.

Back in the car, the driver kept peeking at the plastic bag in Gu Chaoming's hand from the rearview mirror, and heard the sound of wine bottles colliding in the plastic bag.

Seeing that he was still young, wandering around in the middle of the night, and buying beer in the supermarket, the driver was a little worried and advised him to go home.

Gu Chaoming thanked the driver for his kindness with the beer he bought for Gu Tao. The crisp sound of the beer bottle colliding and the driver's concerned voice combined together, Gu Chaoming only found it vivid and ironic.

Holding the beer in the plastic bag, Gu Chaoming leaned his head against the hard window of the car, looking at the lights that sometimes appeared and sometimes disappeared outside the window.

In the middle of the night, he received kindness from a taxi driver he had never met, and met the warmth of his classmates, but after receiving these kindnesses, he still had to return to that broken home after encountering these warmths.

Hearing the driver's kindness, Gu Chaoming stared at the scenery outside the window in a daze, his heart silently shattered into pieces of broken glass.

It was almost two o'clock when we returned to the community. Gu Chaoming looked up from downstairs holding a beer bottle.

The lights didn't go out.

Gu Tao was still asleep, Gu Chaoming walked into the corridor resignedly, and the sensor lights in the corridor turned on.Opening the door and ignoring Gu Tao who was sitting on the sofa waiting for him, Gu Chaoming put the beer bottle on the coffee table in front of Gu Tao.

Silence is the prelude to the storm.

Gu Chaoming put the door key on the coffee table indifferently. Gu Tao sat on the sofa and turned to look at him, and asked in a low voice, "I asked you to buy a beer for so long? How many hours are you going to steal? .”

Gu Tao always spoke indiscriminately. Gu Chaoming was not in the mood and didn't want to talk to him, so he just said flatly: "There is something on the road."

"What can delay so long? Tell me." Gu Tao's voice suddenly rose, from the plain to Mount Everest.

Gu Chaoming really didn't want to make trouble with him, he didn't take a shower at two o'clock in the middle of the night, he just wanted to take a shower early and go to bed.

Gu Chaoming was silent, Gu Tao surprisingly didn't scold him, and pulled the plastic bag full of beer bottles from the coffee table.Once pulled, the beer bottle in the plastic bag lost its balance and fell on the glass coffee table, making squealing and crisp sounds.

Gu Tao took out a bottle of beer and pried it open on the side of the coffee table, without using a cup, he directly blew on the bottle.

Gu Chaoming couldn't understand Gu Tao's behavior. He put the medicine from the hospital on the cabinet, felt thirsty, and went to the kitchen to find water.

The kitchen must have been set up by Gu Tao. As soon as Gu Chaoming walked into the kitchen, Gu Tao returned to his usual manner and began to scold: "Your mother can't take you away now, you can only live a hard life with me."

"I'm just saying, she's a bitch, she hasn't settled with her side yet, and she's divorcing me."

"Fuck his mother, let me be so sloppy."

"Bitch."

Gu Tao scolded him and Gu Chaoming didn't care, but he scolded Qu Yingyi. Even if he learned that Qu Yingyi gave up his custody, Gu Chaoming would still be full of stomachache when he heard Gu Tao scold Qu Yingyi as he had done in the past 17 years. anger.

Gu Chaoming suppressed his anger and drank water, fearing that he would lose control.

Seeing that Gu Chaoming did not speak, Gu Tao said loudly, "Pretend to be dumb? Didn't you react quite badly when you scolded your mother that day? Why are you dumb today?"

Gu Tao walked to the kitchen with great interest, seeing Gu Chaoming supporting the cabinet, Gu Tao laughed, he didn't know that Gu Chaoming's fingers had already ruthlessly picked out the wood chips from the cabinet.

Gu Tao walked up behind Gu Chaoming, vented his anger, and patted Gu Chaoming on the back of the head forcefully, cursing, "Dumbs want money, talk."

Gu Chaoming still ignored him, Gu Tao pressed his rage button and activated his beating mechanism.Gu Chaoming endured in silence, and it was even more uncomfortable to be slapped hard on the head by Gu Tao.

His body was constantly suffering from pain, Gu Chaoming numbly raised his arms to protect himself like a puppet on a string.Seeing Gu Tao's figure showing his teeth and claws in the dim light, Gu Chaoming suddenly thought of Lin Jianfan's father.

That gentle man.

Lin Jianfan's father was polite, decent and caring.Seeing that Fan Neng had such a father, Lin had to say that Gu Chaoming was envious from the very beginning.

Gu Chaoming doesn't know why they are both men and fathers, why there is such a big difference?

Why is my own father so different from other people's fathers.

Others' families are warm and harmonious, but he has to endure Gu Tao's violence all the time.

Gu Tao kept cursing, and the beaten Gu Chaoming didn't even know what made him angry.

Maybe Gu Tao was just angry for no reason.

Gu Chaoming fell asleep again, his head was heavy, and he let Gu Tao beat and scold him.He had even started to think numbly, "Beat me however you want, as long as the beating and scolding end quickly, I just want to go to bed."

"You fucking just want to get rid of you, lie to you and tell you to take you there, you still believe it and argue with me, hahaha, you don't know what your mother means by delaying this matter for a month? It's obvious that I want to throw you to me, you foolish boy, if you still believe me, I don't want you now."

Gu Chaoming was sleepy and endured Gu Tao's anger when he scolded Qu Yingyi.

My head was heavy and my stomach was on fire.

He didn't believe Gu Tao's nonsense, even though it was a fact he had confirmed.

The deal is done, but Gu Chaoming still doesn't want to believe it.

His mother is always the best person in this world to him, she just has something to do, so she didn't abandon herself.

Such deceit, Gu Chaoming couldn't even persuade himself. When his mother said that he couldn't take him away, he really felt abandoned by the whole world, by the person he cherished the most in 17 years.

Abandoned alive.

Even so, Gu Chaoming still does not allow Gu Tao to belittle Qu Yingyi and the mother he has always wanted to protect.

Throat dry, obviously just drank water.Gu Chaoming's voice suddenly became terribly low, and he whispered, "No."

Hearing Gu Chaoming's words, Gu Tao, who was scolding vigorously, didn't realize it for a moment: "Huh? What isn't it?"

Gu Chaoming turned his back to Gu Tao, and the dim light added value to his anger.Under the dim light, Gu Chaoming suddenly turned around, opened his eyes wide, and roared, "She's not what you said! She didn't abandon me!"

Gu Chaoming was emotional, his chest heaved after the roar.Gu Tao who was being yelled at just smiled, looking at Gu Chaoming like a puppy barking at a stranger.

Gu Tao smiled and suddenly lowered his expression severely, and kicked Gu Chaoming's leg so hard that Gu Chaoming almost knelt down.

"The barking puppy" held on to the sink to stand still.

There are fireworks going off in the kitchen.

To ignite, to unleash, to explode.

Gu Chaoming was furious and emotional, but he still endured and lowered his voice, like a dragon hiding in the dark.

The evil dragon roared: "She is different from you."

Although Gu Chaoming has come into contact with a different mother than before, he still firmly believes that his mother is different from Gu Tao.

Gu Tao was still scolding: "Are you out of your mind? She doesn't want you anymore..."

His vision was blurred, and his whole body was weak, supported only by the anger in his chest.

Agitated, Gu Chaoming recalled that night when he was a child in the confused and dim light.Also in the kitchen, the young him was holding sharp knives and cut fingers alone, and the kitchen door was locked.

The devil outside the house, with bright red blood, dim lights, and loud scolding and shouting from the devil.

Bloody, he wants to get rid of him, as long as he gets rid of the demon, the world will be quiet.

Bloody thoughts came up again, this time without Lin Jianfan's warning, the evil in his heart grew wildly, and Gu Chaoming's rationality was not enough to resist.

Sin broke through the fragile protection of reason, Gu Chaoming leaned against the pool and saw the kitchen knife not far away, the blade was under the dim light like that night.

The kitchen knife had cut his fingers, hacked his door, and picked the lock of his door.

Gu Chaoming strode closer and drew out the kitchen knife without any hindrance, imagining the coldness of the knifeman in the movie, but in reality only the coldness of the knife remained.

Gu Tao was a little frightened when he saw Gu Chaoming holding a knife. Gu Chaoming pointed at Gu Tao with a kitchen knife and shouted forcefully, "Say it again if you have the ability!"

Gu Tao, who was frightened, laughed again: "Hahaha, you are doing this with me, do you think I am afraid of you if you hold a knife?"

The pain from the cigarette burn on the back of the hand, the wound on the forehead, and the back view of the mother's departure...

There was a throbbing pain in his head, as if something was about to break through his scalp and jump out.

In the dream, blood splattered and the fishy smell filled the air. Once the knife was stabbed, he could be freed, but he would also be punished by law.

Gu Chaoming thought of the policemen who ran past him that night, and the silver-white handcuffs reflected by the streetlights.

He swung the kitchen knife around but did not hurt Gu Tao at all.

He knew that Gu Tao would not be hurt like this.

He is a coward.

He is afraid to pay the price.

Knowing that Gu Chaoming didn't have the guts, Gu Tao said even more loudly: "You want to kill me? You little bastard, eat me, live in me, and still want to kill me? Do it if you have the ability."

Gu Tao pointed to his heart, "I tell you, come here, go here, stabbing will kill you."

The trembling hands under the dim light made his heart vibrate, Gu Chaoming had killed Gu Tao countless times in his heart.

He is a master of imagination and a coward of reality.

When Gu Tao approached, Gu Chaoming was so frightened that he swung the kitchen knife and almost cut himself.

Drowsy, Gu Chaoming kept asking himself.

Will you regret it after stabbing it?

Are you sober now?

Can you really do it?

You can't do stupid things now!

Gu Chaoming collapsed violently, his hands trembling and he dropped the kitchen knife in his hand.Iron knives fell on the kitchen floor, making a cold sound in the night.

Gu Chaoming dodged Gu Tao who was in front of him and ran back to the room.

"Countless." Gu Tao snorted, not intending to let him go, and followed Gu Chaoming into the room.

The collapsed Gu Chaoming was kicked by Gu Tao and fell straight to the ground.

Gu Chaoming no longer had any strength, and it seemed more comfortable to lie on the ground.Limbs and limbs were exhausted like ants biting, Gu Chaoming lay on the ground and looked at the dark roof.

Everything is dry in autumn, only the roof is as wet as ever.

The old lady upstairs forgot to turn off the tap again yesterday.

The old lady has a bad memory when she is old.

Gu Chaoming didn't resist, he was thinking wildly and even wanted to fall asleep like this, forever.

The pain bloomed freely and recklessly on the body, falling densely like raindrops.Gu Chaoming only hoped that Gu Tao could beat himself to death.

tonight.

Let him sleep like this forever.

It's a pity that Gu Chaoming ended this possibility by himself.Unable to bear the pain, the body automatically took a defensive posture to protect itself.

After Gu Tao vented his anger, he walked out of the room after beating him.Gu Chaoming endured the pain and slept on the cold floor.He was so tired that he didn't even want to climb up the bed that was close at hand, so he just fell asleep like this.

He wished he could just fall asleep like this.

Never wake up.