the world in which he exists

It was hot outside the window, and there was no coolness inside.The fan spun tirelessly and quickly, lifting up a corner of the unfixed book page on the table.

The pages of the book couldn't withstand the teasing and finally turned a page. Gu Chaoming didn't care, and looked down at the red dot displayed on the SMS icon on the phone.

You have a new message.

The black baseball cap was tightly buttoned on his head, his hair was sweating, and he became cold when he saw this new message.

Gu Chaoming lived in that dilapidated community for 17 years. He didn't remember how many times he called his father in the past 17 years. It seemed that he hadn't called him since he became sensible. The note to his father was also Gu Tao.

Gu Tao seldom called him. If he had no money, he could just stay at home. Gu Chaoming would always go home.

Gu Chaoming had nowhere to go but to go home.

Gu Tao was really anxious, so he went directly into the house to search. At the beginning, he could always find hundreds of yuan. Later, Gu Chaoming learned to lock the door, but to Gu Tao, locking the door was just a matter of a pair of pliers or a hammer. Later, Gu Chaoming learned to carry all his belongings with him, and Gu Tao also cultivated a thicker skin. When he returned home, he just had no money. By the way, let’s see if his son has starved to death recently and how he is doing. He has more money.

The number of text messages keeps increasing, and the number on the little red dot keeps increasing from one.

If only Gu Tao called him and sent so many text messages, Gu Chaoming would really think that Gu Tao was out of money again, but the missed calls also included Qu Yingyi's missed calls.

Gu Tao has no money to go to the hospital to find Qu Yingyi?

In just a few seconds, countless images flashed across Gu Chaoming's mind.

Bloody sheets, angry men, messy wards.

Too many scenes over the past 17 years have given him the resources to imagine a terrifying vision.

Gu Chaoming was afraid, not because he was afraid of Gu Tao, but because he was afraid that Qu Yingyi would get hurt.

In 17, the person he most wanted to protect, the person he most wanted to protect with his body, Gu Chaoming didn't want her to suffer any harm.

The text message grew to thirteen and officially ended, and when it stopped at that number, Gu Chaoming still didn't click on it.

Gu Chaoming looked at the red dot on the phone, and Lin Jianfan behind him looked at him.

Gu Chaoming bent slightly and lowered his head, his eyes were straight. Lin Jianfan was listening to the lecture, paying attention to the bald teacher on the stage, while quietly "peeping" at Gu Chaoming in front of him.

Just one day after arriving here, Lin Jianfan's initial impression of Cen Xili was friendly, that of Su Bing was lively, and that Li Zhao and Liu Xiaopang were kind.It is easy for people to classify new things according to their first impressions, but for Gu Chaoming, Lin Jianfan couldn't completely classify him into any category.

He has his temper, he can yell at people, he also has his friendliness, he will give him test papers, and take him to carry books.He is the Doraemon from last night, and he is also the boy with a cloudy face now.

Lin Jianfan's peeking eyes were hidden, and Gu Chaoming was all focused on the red dot on the phone screen, and he didn't pay attention to Lin Jianfan's eyes at all.

Gu Chaoming finally clicked on the thirteen text messages.

Twelve were from Gu Tao, and only one was from Qu Yingyi.

When eating, there are what you like and what you can eat on the plate. Some people will eat what they like first, while others will leave what they like for last.Gu Chaoming is the latter, even when reading text messages, he chooses to read the text messages from Gu Tao who must be bombarding and meaningless first, and then read the text messages from Qu Yingyi.

Before clicking on all of them, Gu Chaoming saw a lot of dirty words in Gu Tao's text messages.

Thirteen text messages lined up, countless meaningless swear words came into view, Gu Chaoming ignored those filthy words directly.

In 17, this was the first time Gu Tao sent text messages to scold him.If you get a call, you will definitely hear more swear words than what you heard yesterday when you watched the braided elementary school girls fight.

Gu Chaoming thought that Gu Tao was scolding himself, but when he scrolled up, he accidentally saw Qu Yingyi's name, which had only one character, followed by curse words.

A melody made Gu Chaoming stop, and Gu Chaoming scrolled down to read the long and short text messages with only one or two words, among which there were some typos.

Only then did Gu Chaoming discover that many of Gu Tao's cursing text messages were insulting words against women.

Gu Tao is not only scolding him, but also Qu Yingyi.

Gu Tao's favorite sentence is also included in it, scolding both of them at once - a dog like your mother.

In the end what happened?

Gu Chaoming clicked on the text message from Qu Yingyi.

After experiencing Gu Tao's storm of swearing, Qu Yingyi's long and gentle words are like buds that have just bloomed on the branches in spring.

Before Gu Chaoming read Qu Yingyi's text messages, he received three more messages from Gu Tao.Gu Chaoming didn't care about it, he read Qu Yingyi's text message word by word carefully, there were not many words, but Gu Chaoming read it seriously, it seemed that if he missed a word, the whole sentence would be completely changed.

Gu Chaoming watched carefully, as if reading a parting letter.

The first sentence begins with those three words - I'm sorry.

There is nothing to be sorry for, Gu Chaoming thought, what is there to be sorry for raising me for so many years.

"I'm sorry, my mother didn't tell you, and I told Gu Tao not to tell you. I don't know why, but I always feel that the sooner you know, the better. You are 17 years old, and you can choose and think independently, but I am still afraid of family Your incompleteness will bring you harm..."

Qu Yingyi didn't say it clearly, perhaps because she felt that the word divorce was too cruel for Gu Chaoming.

He used to have a family, but now he has no family.

Seeing the phrase "family is incomplete" in Qu Yingyi's text message, Gu Chaoming already understood what was going on, and also understood the dirty words in Gu Tao's text message.

In fact, since he was sensible, Gu Chaoming also hoped that they could get a divorce. Although others said that the divorced child would suffer a lot of harm and would lack what the family should give him, Gu Chaoming thought it was nothing at the time. He could bear it completely, but it was really at this moment When it came, Gu Chaoming only felt confused.

Confused about the suddenly broken family, confused about my future life.

Bewildered is still confused, Gu Chaoming doesn't know what mood and expression he should use to accept this fact.

He is the last person who knows about this broken home. He used to think that there is no home as long as there is Qu Yingyi, but when he really knew that his home was gone, it seemed that something was drawn from his body and from his life alone. Without telling him, the place where it left was empty, and Gu Chaoming didn't know what to fill it with.

There was a strange sense of strangeness in his heart, the strangeness of the world he knew, and the changes he expected were quietly happening in his own world when he didn't know it.

I should be happy that my mother finally divorced and escaped from the clutches, but lost and at a loss in the confusion actually occupied most of it.

Their crumbling home is still broken, and the dilapidated home is even more dilapidated.

Gu Chaoming suddenly didn't know what to do, he stood there blankly like a child abandoned on the street.

After reading Qu Yingyi's text message bit by bit, Gu Chaoming clicked on the text message just sent by Gu Tao.

Nothing more than swearing.

After clicking on it, Gu Chaoming felt that he had underestimated Gu Tao's strength.

"Stealing people's things like your mother."

"If you have the ability to go home today, I will kill you with a knife."

"I'll wait at home."

Gu Tao's swear words have risen to intimidation.

"Hit you to death with a knife" may be an angry phrase in the mouths of ordinary people, but from Gu Tao's mouth, Gu Chaoming really believes that he can do it.

The dim lights in the kitchen at night, the sound of punches hitting the flesh, and the cigarette butts burning on the back of his hands all proved to Gu Tao that he could keep his word.

Gu Chaoming was scared, very scared, he believed that Gu Tao could do it, and the primitive fear in his heart would not decrease with age and height.

Qu Yingyi once said sorry in a text message, using the broken family as a tactful way to complain about divorce, but she didn't talk about her son.

Qu Yingyi was just apologizing to her son who loved her.

After all, Gu Chaoming's home is the dilapidated house with the damp roof and broken toilet mirror.

He can never get rid of his last name, the father that fate chose for him, the blood flowing in his body, and the broken family he was 17 years old.

You never want to leave Gu Tao!

You murderer!

You shall atone for your sins!

The cold dream, the panic last night, the broken family.

Many, many were mixed into a torrent, and they scattered under the impact.

Gu Chaoming's heart is complicated, irritable, even lost and desolate.

Have you been abandoned?His mother didn't mention it, Gu Tao waited for him at home with a knife.

He is the one who really has no home.

The heart is impatient, the air is more sultry, and Ting Chan's leisure mood also melts in the sultry air.

Gu Chaoming threw the phone into the drawer irritably. He used too much force under the irritability, and the phone hit the drawer, making a bang sound in the silent classroom, instantly attracting the attention of the whole class.

"Gu Chaoming! What are you doing in one class? I saw you there for the whole class. What are you doing?" The bald head threw the textbook on the podium. Turn and turn, you think you are a top, you, it is not enough to remind you with your eyes, and you play with your mobile phone underneath, and I didn't say anything about you when you played with your mobile phone. Speaking of you, you are itchy and show off your abilities, and I don’t know how you got into the second class. Can you stop for a while in class on my desk, don’t act like a sketch below, you don’t know what you’re doing all day long What, I don't think about anything all day..."

Gu Chaoming didn't listen to a word of the bald-headed teacher's endless chatter like setting off firecrackers when he was bored. He just felt as irritating as the bees buzzing around his ears in biology class yesterday. irritable.

The bald head spoke more and more vigorously, Gu Chaoming leaned on the back of the chair and endured, and finally couldn't help but gouged out his bald head on the podium with a knife.

The whole class stared at him, watching him gouge out the eyes of the teacher.Lin Jianfan finally knew why the teaching director said that Gu Chaoming was a thorn in the second class in the morning.

The bald head was obviously not as good-tempered as Old Chen, so he was gouged out by Gu Chaoming, and he walked off the podium aggressively with a beer belly.

Cen Xili pushed Gu Chaoming: "Gu Shuai, don't be impulsive. The more you confront him with a bald head, he will get more and more energetic. Be submissive and don't make trouble."

The bald head stormed off the stage angrily, trying to suppress his temper, and advised himself not to be angry, not to be angry, and not to care about the 17-year-old.

"It's awesome," the bald head suppressed his temper, "I think I'm awesome, right? The teachers are all idiots, right? You're the only one who is invincible..."

What Cen Xili said is right, the bald head is the type that the more you hate him, the more he will hate you back. Gu Chaoming just had an impatient expression, and the bald head kept scolding.

Everyone in the class looked over, Wu Shan sat on his seat and poked his head to watch the show.

The bald head restrained his temper, and Gu Chaoming also restrained his temper when he listened to Cen Xili's words. He didn't retaliate. He didn't want to be invited to his parents for retorting, and no one could invite his parents.

Gu Chaoming was scolded in silence for almost 3 minutes. Su Bing felt that enough was enough, and he made a break from the sidelines and said loudly: "Teacher, I want to listen to the class, and I don't want to hear you swearing."

The bald teacher turned around and saw that the person who said this was Su Bing: "Su Bing, if you listen to the class, you will fall down this day."

"Teacher, you really know how to joke," Su Bing said, "I've reformed myself. Didn't you say that if you delay class for one minute, you will delay the whole class for one minute. Now we have missed a lot. Teacher, hurry up and give a lecture. "

Normally, when Su Bing made such a rescue, Gu Chaoming would have laughed and said that he was talking nonsense, but now Gu Chaoming is not in the mood at all.

With a few words from Su Bing, Gu Chaoming finally got rid of the curse of bald head.

"Go and stand behind me, I heard that today is not the first time you have been punished to stand." Baldhead said.

We all know this, Gu Chaoming thought.

Gu Chaoming squeezed sideways through the gap between the bald head and the desk, walked to the back door and stood there.

Seeing that Gu Chaoming didn't resist, he felt that Gu Chaoming could still be educated, but when he saw Gu Chaoming standing by the door, his hands were empty and he didn't hold a pen.

"Take the book!!!" the bald head roared.

Cen Xili hurriedly took the textbook on Gu Chaoming's desk, inserted a pen and passed Lin Jianfan to Gu Chaoming.

Gu Chaoming took the textbook and let him go with his bald head: "Listen to the class carefully."

Gu Chaoming didn't respond, not even a "hmm".

The bald head turned back to the podium and slapped the desk: "Don't read it all, and continue with the class."

The cicadas continued to sing outside the window, and the duet of the cicadas continued to play. Gu Chaoming successfully completed the third punishment task today in the duet of the cicadas.

The back door of the classroom next to him was opened for ventilation, and Gu Chaoming leaned against the wall bored, the midsummer breeze was swallowed up by the heat waves and sunshine, and he refused to move out of the classroom at all.

Sweating in his black baseball cap, Gu Chaoming looked at the whole class from the perspective of an invigilator who likes to stand at the end of the classroom during exams.

Extraordinary clear perspective, everyone is doing at a glance.The classmate who was sitting behind them on the edge of the podium was in a daze, and that boy Su Bing was secretly playing with his mobile phone. Class [-] is considered a key class. Most of the students are still listening, but there are also some who rely on their position to eat in secret Yes, Gu Chaoming stood behind and only stared at her for a few moments, and saw that she and her tablemate successfully destroyed a pack of biscuits, and after eating the biscuits, they took out a pack of toffee from the drawer.

Gu Chaoming took a few glances at the girls who were eating in class, and said silently in his heart: "It's the third time."

For the third time, I felt that beam of sight projected secretly.

Even though the projected gaze was so cautious, Gu Chaoming caught them all without exception, and never let him escape.

It wasn't Wu Shan, if it was Wu Shan Gu Chaoming would have stared back.

That beam of gaze was as cautious as its owner, the head was only willing to tilt slightly, and after a short while, he turned his head back, pretending that nothing happened.

Maybe he thinks that his peeping will not be discovered, but Gu Chaoming still can't ignore it.

The new good student must be curious about his poor student who can be punished three times a day.

Gu Chaoming was not in the mood to care about him, standing behind the classroom with nowhere to rest his eyes and wandering around.The mobile phone is lying on the belly of the table, with only a textbook and a pen in hand, can't do anything, and there are still ten minutes before get out of class ends.

With nothing to do, when he stopped and looked at the mobile phone lying quietly on his desk, Gu Chaoming told himself not to think about Gu Tao and Qu Yingyi, their divorce is a certainty, and you can't change anything, it's them What's more, don't you want them to divorce?Since I hope you are still thinking about it here, what are you doing?

Gu Chaoming persuaded himself not to think about it anymore, the cicadas kept ringing in his ears, you wanted to do what you were not allowed to do, Gu Chaoming didn't let himself think too much, but his thoughts just refused to listen to him, broke through the fence, and went straight to Run in the hospital.

Gu Tao actually agreed to divorce?What happened to Qu Yingyi?Are they already divorced, or have they just agreed to a divorce?

Gu Chaoming didn't know everything, like an outsider who knew nothing about his parents' lives.The more Gu Chaoming thought about it, the more he realized that he didn't know.

At the age of 17, he has no autonomy, and he doesn't even have the right to know that his parents are divorcing.

I am just an insignificant individual.

A sinful individual who would want to kill his own father.

Recalling Gu Tao from yesterday, recalling the noodle soup sticking to the table yesterday, recalling the sound of Gu Tao sucking noodles, recalling the lights in the living room yesterday, recalling his outstretched hand and Gu Tao's furious appearance.

The sinful night of last night was played back in my mind, but the scene of youth was in front of my eyes.Young and vigorous vitality, the teacher gives lectures with a beer belly at a leisurely pace on the podium, listens to lectures, plays with mobile phones, steals food, dazes, peeks at the girls he likes, and chats with classmates, everyone will have the appearance in youth.

The crime of last night did not match the picture in front of him at all, like two time-spaces in the same world.

One crawls in the dark, the other grows in the sun.

Gu Chaoming crawls in the dark and grows in the sunlight. He hides the darkness in his heart in the sunlight, hides in places that no one knows, and is buried in the deepest soil. No one tells him. He is afraid that others will find his own. sin.

During the duet of cicadas, Gu Chaoming raised his hand to touch the brim of his hat, which happened to be a straight hat on his head, and he could clearly feel the presence of sweat in his hair.

When Gu Chaoming put down his hands, the guilt in his heart mixed with the loss and confusion of a broken family, making it impossible to ignore.What can't be ignored is the fourth sneaky gaze in front of him.

There were only three things, Gu Chaoming knew that he was not a good-tempered person, and was on the verge of irritability. Gu Chaoming frowned and pretended not to see him before, and asked Lin Jianfan who kept peeking at him: "Why are you looking at me?"

Obviously not prepared to be discovered, Gu Chaoming saw the usual panic on Lin Jianfan's face.

After the flustered panic, there was his signature smile again. Lin Jianfan bent his eyes and asked with an embarrassed smile, "What's wrong with you? You seem very angry."

Seeing Lin Jianfan's panicked expression, Lin Jianfan also helped him yesterday, Gu Chaoming didn't want to take his anger out on others, but Lin Jianfan really has the ability to open and lift which pot, so he just poked him and didn't want to answer point.

The good voice that was originally planned disappeared: "Can you stop asking? It's none of your business, you're annoying."

Lin saw Fan's expression as if he had made a mistake, and it seemed that he had said something wrong, not because Gu Chaoming was in a bad mood, but because he made Gu Chaoming angry.

Gu Chaoming hated his expression, as if he took all the blame on himself, and it seemed that Lin Jianfan's fault was all his anger.

Gu Chaoming couldn't understand this new transfer student, seeing his expression as if he had made a mistake, Gu Chaoming realized that he was a bit too aggressive.

"Tsk."

Gu Chaoming sighed irritably, scratched his neck, he should not get angry at him, should not vent his anger on him.

Gu Chaoming was a little embarrassed. Lin saw that Fan had helped him, but he also got angry with others twice a day because of his own reasons.

Lin Jianfan wouldn't think about how to apologize again, would he?Thinking of Lin Jianfan apologizing, Gu Chaoming was really afraid of him.

Gu Chaoming had nothing to say to him, he could have called Cen Xili, but Gu Chaoming, taking advantage of his bald head and not paying attention, smacked Lin Jianfan on the back with his textbook, and pushed his foot against his chair.

When Lin saw Fan turned his head, Gu Chaoming said what he had thought up a long time ago: "Help me get my Sudoku book."

Seeing that Fan didn't look angry at all, Lin turned around and helped him get the Sudoku book.

After handing over a Sudoku book, Lin saw Fan and asked desperately, "Are you okay?"

Gu Chaoming tried his best to control his temper this time, pulled up the corners of his mouth not to get angry, and said with a smile: "It's okay."

Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming and asked him to take a Sudoku book, maybe he wanted to make a topic of getting acquainted, Lin Jianfan asked: "Do you like playing Sudoku?"

"I'm just playing, it's very interesting." Gu Chaoming said.

"I just saw you playing in class." Gu Chaoming didn't have the hostility just now, Lin Jianfan laughed again.

Gu Chaoming was not in the mood to respond to his smile, but he felt a little better seeing Lin Jianfan's hearty smile.

"I have nothing to do in class, so I pass the time." Gu Chaoming said.

"It seems very interesting. You must be very smart if you like to play Sudoku."

Gu Chaoming couldn't help laughing, and it was the first time he heard someone say this: "Who says playing Sudoku is smart? I just pass the time, but you, I heard from Lao Chen that your grades are pretty good."

"My grades are average." Lin Jianfan said.

"Being accepted by Lao Chen, the grades must be extraordinary."

"Who is Lao Chen?" Lin Jianfan asked.

"Just our head teacher, Brother Chen, Old Chen."

Gu Chaoming also wanted to tell Lin Jianfan the bald man on the podium that they all called him Iron Head. As for who came up with this name, Gu Chaoming didn't know, only that everyone called him that.

Before Gu Chaoming finished explaining the science to Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan tilted his head and smiled slightly. Gu Chaoming noticed that he had dimples when he smiled, and just said: "You smile..."

The bald head called him by name: "Gu Chaoming, you are punished to stand still and talk to your classmates!"