the world in which he exists

The number of days before the college entrance examination on the wall is getting smaller and smaller, and the life after school starts seems to be reproduced from the last semester.Repeatedly studying day and night, the closer the college entrance examination is, the greater the pressure of reviewing.

For Gu Chaoming, the college entrance examination is like a hurdle waiting for him to overcome, and the review in the third year of high school is a process for them to recharge their energy to overcome the hurdle.

In the process of recuperating energy, many things happened that he never thought of, Gu Tao's sudden disappearance, his moving, Zhou's letter of apology, Liu Yi's marriage, the most unexpected thing was Lin Jianfan.

While recharging his energy, he also took great care of Lin Jianfan, tried his best to surprise Lin Jianfan, and hoped that Lin Jianfan could come out of the pain of the past and face the rejuvenated world outside the window.

The surprises and secret companionships that he racked his brains to come up with would always bring Lin Jianfan to tears, and Gu Chaoming obviously wanted to make him laugh.

Seeing Fan's tears dripping down on Gu Chaoming's heart, Lin saw a burst of spring.

Even though he was absent from class, Lin Jianfan was still the first in the class in the class quiz after returning to school. Gu Chaoming was still worried, but he helped Lin Jianfan take the paper from the class representative and saw the scores on the test paper. Gu Chaoming To Lin Jianfan, he cast all his arms over him.

I studied so hard and still haven't missed winter vacation tutoring, and my grades have been tepid, but Lin Jianfan's grades seem to be unshakable.

With the arrival of early spring, the temperature gradually rises, and the sky outside the window removes the gloom of winter and puts on new clothes of sunshine.After several consecutive days of fine weather, Gu Chaoming's mood was warmed by the sunshine that shone all over the ground in the early morning.

During class, Gu Chaoming always sneaked a sneak peek at Lin Jianfan without anyone noticing.

Even if Lin Jianfan was sitting next to him.

The warm spring sun shines on the earth, and Gu Chaoming will try his best to squeeze out time to date Lin Jianfan during the heavy review in the third year of high school.

Sometimes it's on a Saturday when you have a full day off, sometimes it's on the way home from school, sometimes it's just the little time left over from school lunch.

In the afternoon after eating with Su Bing and Cen Xili, Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan finished eating first, while Su Bing was still eating slowly, Gu Chaoming pulled Lin Jianfan away first.

With the vegetables in his hands, Su Bing chewed the rice, but he still didn't forget to complain about Gu Chaoming's "seeing sex and forgetting righteousness".

Su Bing never changed his words to complain about Gu Chaoming, and Cen Xili's ears felt callused.

The little time left over from the afternoon meal seemed to be stolen from the intensive review.

Gu Chaoming pulled Lin Jianfan out of the cafeteria, and the sunshine in the spring afternoon melted on Gu Chaoming's wrist like butter.

At school Gu Chaoming is not as presumptuous as at home, and his romantic relationship with the dean has recently started again somehow.

The last time I saw that there was no one around, I wanted to hold Lin Jianfan's hand, but before the hand was held, the dean came all the way, Gu Chaoming immediately reminded Lin Jianfan, and together with Lin Jianfan pretended to be " I love to study, I love to study all the time, and I have to discuss the illusion of "study" with Xueba on the side of the road.

When the teaching director passed by Gu Chaoming and Lin and saw Fan, the two said "Hello, director" calmly.

When the dean left, Gu Chaoming heaved a sigh of relief. Although he was bold, he didn't want the dean to find out that he was with Lin Jianfan.In the first year of high school, Cen Xili's liking for You Xin caused a lot of trouble. In short, it would be no good if they were found out at school, after all, they were still students of the school.

Once again, Gu Chaoming hoped that time would pass faster, that he would arrive at the college entrance examination sooner, and go to university sooner, so that he could hold Lin Jianfan's hand when he wanted to, without looking left and right, without looking So careful, like doing something bad.

Recently, I met the teaching director many times, and with Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming didn't directly hold Lin Jianfan's hand, but went back to the time when he was not with Lin Jianfan, and took Lin Jianfan's wrist.

Pulling Lin Jianfan's wrist, he turned his head in the spring and looked at Lin Jianfan's face in the sun.

The sun is warm, the flowers on the side of the road are fragrant and fragrant, the breeze is not dry, Lin Jianfan bends his eyes and smiles, these constitute the whole spring of Gu Chaoming.

Looking at Lin Jianfan's smiling face, Gu Chaoming recalled that during the singing competition last year, also in spring, Lin Jianfan confessed to him in the toilet, and he took Lin Jianfan's hand and walked back to the classroom from the toilet.

That was the first time he held Lin Jianfan's hand as a boyfriend.

Gu Chaoming still remembers his silly smile at that time.

Looking at Lin Jianfan's smiling face in the sun, Gu Chaoming recalled the first time he held Lin Jianfan's hand.Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming turning his head in the spring, and remembered that they were playing chess and card games in the school corridor and were discovered by the teaching director. Gu Chaoming was holding his hand and running along the boulevard.

At that time, Gu Chaoming looked back like now, and that scene was deeply imprinted in Lin Jianfan's mind. After running, Gu Chaoming even picked the most beautiful little yellow flower in the school flower garden and gave it to him.

The two looked at each other's faces and recalled the past, and the sweetness of the memories made both of them have smiles that made Sunshine ashamed.

Pulling Lin Jianfan to lie down on a lawn in the school, Lin Jianfan was lying beside him, his whole body was covered by the sun, Gu Zhaoming turned his head to look, Lin Jianfan also looked over, the two lay on the lawn and looked at each other, They looked at each other and smiled.

Gu Chaoming looked into Lin Jianfan's eyes, unknowingly they had experienced so much together, unknowingly they were about to take the college entrance examination, unknowingly Gu Tao left his life, unknowingly they had been together for almost a year... …

The trajectory of fate began to change from the evening when he met Lin Jianfan in the second year of high school. At that time, Gu Chaoming would never have thought that the rich man who gave him a pack of Band-Aids was now lying beside him, and they would have to die in a few months. Take a big test about life.

Thinking of the college entrance examination, Gu Chaoming turned sideways and asked Lin Jianfan: "The college entrance examination will be in a few months, have you decided where to take the exam?"

Lin Jian Fan shook his head.

"Haven't figured it out yet?" Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan and asked.

Lin Jianfan's eyes were a little confused, he looked at the blue sky above his head, and the sunlight fell into his eyes.

Lin Jianfan looked directly at the slightly dazzling sunlight: "Actually, I kind of want to learn photography."

"Photography is fine too," Gu Chaoming said, "Being a photographer in the future?"

Lin Jianfan nodded, then turned to look at Gu Chaoming who supported him in learning photography: "I prefer photography."

"The photos you take now are already very good-looking, and you can major in photography." Gu Chaoming said.

Seeing that Fan seemed to have his worries, Gu Chaoming teased him and said, "I think it's good to have a boyfriend who studies photography. I don't have to worry about taking pictures in the future hahaha... I'll be your model."

Gu Chaoming doesn't like taking pictures very much, he just said this to make Lin Jianfan happy.

In the past, Gu Chaoming would open his mouth for such slick words, but now Gu Chaoming carefully measures every word he says, fearing that if he does not measure the joke well, it will hurt Lin Jianfan's heart.

He is doing what Lin Jianfan said to make him blame himself, and he treats Lin Jianfan too carefully.He once asked Lin to talk to Fan whenever he had something to say, don't beat around the bush, don't flatter him, but what about him now?

He became a joker in front of Lin Jianfan and had to go through it in his heart first. Gu Chaoming often reflected on whether he had been changed by suffering?Shouldn't this be the case?

He was just too worried about Lin Jianfan, and Gu Chaoming realized that he was becoming the next Lin's mother.

It became Lin's mother who was so nervous about Lin Jianfan that she wanted to imprison Lin Jianfan by her side, so as not to let him suffer from the outside world.

He seems to be becoming someone who makes Lin Jianfan blame himself.

After measuring his joke again, Gu Chaoming suddenly panicked. Lin Jianfan looked at him, indicating that he knew, he knew everything.

Gu Chaoming's carefulness, Gu Chaoming's measurement, he can actually feel them all.

Gu Chaoming persuaded him to forget the past, but Gu Chaoming was also changed by the pain Lin Jianfan suffered.

Lin Jianfan looked around and saw that no one was moving around, and moved to Gu Chaoming's side, taking away the gap between the two.

Seeing Fan's deep eyes, Lin said to him, "You don't have to treat me so carefully. I'm already much better. I can have a good conversation with my friends, and I can hide and fall in love with you at school. This kind of life is what I longed for before. Yes, and you gave it to me. With you by my side, I am very happy, so happy that my body is warm even without sunbathing. "

Lin Jianfan paused for a moment, and covered Gu Chaoming's hand on the lawn with his palm: "Thank you for your hard work, I always feel that I can't live up to your hard work, and I am also working hard to get better, so I don't have to be so careful with it anymore." Me, okay?"

He finally expressed his thanks, after Gu Chaoming's unreasonable joke, on a sunny afternoon in spring.

Gu Chaoming stared at Lin Jianfan's extremely close eyes, he sighed and smiled again.

He was on the verge of being changed by the pain, Lin Jianfan pulled him back.

"Okay." Gu Chaoming turned over the hand that was covered by Lin Jianfan, and held Lin Jianfan's hand instead, clasping his fingers tightly.

Gu Chaoming grinned, and he confessed his panic just now: "Actually, I just felt that I have changed, I have become unlike me, and I have become someone who makes you blame yourself in the name of worrying about you, but what you said to me Let me think about it again, let me find my lost self."

Lin saw that Fanwang smiled into Gu Chaoming's eyes, Gu Zhaoming hadn't changed at all, he was still the same Gu Chaoming who didn't turn corners, spoke directly, and told him "don't beat around the bush in front of him".

Although the straight-talking Gu Chaoming would say some embarrassing or irritating words regardless of the occasion, but that was the real Gu Chaoming, and also the Gu Chaoming he liked.

Gu Chaoming has many shortcomings, and Lin Jianfan, as his boyfriend, can't ignore it, but he likes it because he has a kind of magic.

All the shortcomings don't need to be filtered, it's not to love Gu Chaoming's shortcomings as advantages, but to like Gu Chaoming even his shortcomings.

Disadvantages don't have to become advantages, that's part of liking.

Anyway, there was no one around, so Gu Chaoming held Lin Jianfan's hand tightly, and raised his other hand to touch Lin Jianfan's face.

Just as the arm was raised but before it fell, the class bell rang, and the arm stopped in mid-air. No wonder there were no one around. It turned out that class was about to start.

The class bell rang throughout the campus, and the hand that was suspended in the air fell on Lin Jianfan's face. After stroking a few times with a smile, Gu Chaoming got up and pulled Lin Jianfan up to the third floor.

Spring day, sunshine, holding hands, fate was too kind to him, Gu Chaoming looked back in the spring, and when he looked back, Lin Jianfan was smiling all over his face.

Running back to the teaching building and sneaking back to his seat through the back door, Su Bing saw the late Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan curling their lips, Cen Xili knew that Su Bing must want to say that sentence again.

"Oh, people in love."

Cen Xili shook his head and couldn't help laughing.

After the lunch break, Gu Chaoming took out his mobile phone, only to find that Zhou Han had sent him a message when the class was about to start.

Seeing Fan turning his head, Lin saw that Gu Chaoming, who was reading the message beside him, frowned with a heavy expression.

"What's wrong?" Lin Jianfan asked.

Gu Chaoming did not speak.

Zhou Xin sent him a text message containing the name of a person he didn't want to see, a person he thought had completely left his life and would never appear again.

"I saw your dad on the road. Your dad gave me an envelope and asked me to give it to you."

Seeing the word "your father", Gu Chaoming's heart tightened.

That man is back again?

That man came again to disturb his life and break his tranquility.

Why did Gu Tao come back at this time?Why come back when there are only a few months left before the college entrance examination?Will Gu Tao come to look for him when he comes back?Will they block him at the school gate again?Will it disrupt his plan to escape from the college entrance examination?

Will his senior year continue as he imagined?

Will his college entrance examination become the only way for him to escape from Gu Tao again?

It's just that after hearing the news of Gu Tao's return, Gu Chaoming thought a lot in his mind, and felt that the panic in the past was suppressed again, making him breathless.

Seeing that Fan finally became more cheerful, Lin told him on the lawn at noon that he didn't need to care about him so much. Gu Chaoming thought that life was getting better again and returned to the normal track.

But things backfired, and Gu Tao, who he never wanted to see again, appeared in his field of vision again.

Maybe there is Gu Tao in the normal track of my life, Gu Chaoming said to himself, this can explain why Gu Tao appeared so coincidentally.

Faced with Lin Jianfan's questioning and Gu Chaoming showing him the text message sent by Zhou Han, Lin Jianfan's expression after reading it was no better than Gu Chaoming's.

Originally, he was still thinking about what made Gu Chaoming silent for a while, but after reading the text message, he realized that the demon had returned.

When he came back, Lin Jianfan could imagine Gu Tao's harassment and torture to Gu Chaoming after he came back.

Lin Jianfan looked at Gu Chaoming, Gu Chaoming never gave up on him when he needed company.Now that Gu Tao appears, he will always be with Gu Chaoming.

Lin Jianfan said to Gu Chaoming who was silent because of Gu Tao: "It's okay, I'm here."

When he wanted to give up and leave this world, Gu Chaoming had said these words to him many times.

It's okay, I'm here.

A word of confidence and encouragement to Lin Jianfan, Lin Jianfan returned to Gu Chaoming, hoping that he would no longer be afraid, no longer afraid because of Gu Tao.

Lin Jianfan reminded him more carefully: "Don't be impulsive, do you remember what you promised me during the Chinese New Year?"

Gu Chaoming remembered, always remembered, Lin Jianfan asked him to call the police if Gu Tao used violence against him again.

The two of them built a small kingdom, and together they shared their worst secrets.

Gu Chaoming did not tell Cen Xili and Su Bing the news of Gu Tao's return, and Su Bing and Cen Xili thought nothing happened.

In the afternoon of the next day, Gu Chaoming walked to the school gate alone, and Zhou Han was waiting for him outside the school gate.

Lin Jianfan learned that Zhou Han would come over at noon, and wanted to go with Gu Chaoming, but Gu Chaoming disagreed.

Gu Chaoming was afraid that there would be some accident, that Gu Tao would appear suddenly, and that Lin Jianfan would be hurt.

As soon as we got together with Gu Tao, everything became uncertain.

Under Gu Chaoming's resolute disapproval, Lin Jianfan retreated again and again until Gu Chaoming could go to see Zhou Han alone, but he must have lunch with him.

Gu Tao saw Fan in Lin, which was a symbol of violence and the source of Gu Chaoming's wounds, and eating with Gu Chaoming just wanted to ensure Gu Chaoming's safety.

After class, Gu Chaoming told Cen Xili and Su Bing that they should go to dinner first today. He and Lin Jianfan had something to do, but Su Bing squinted at him and asked in a tone of beating: "What's the matter?"

It would be great if I could slap Su Bing like before to stop him from talking nonsense.Su Bing and Cen Xili were still the same as before, while Gu Chaoming was preoccupied with how to deal with Gu Tao.

In the afternoon, Cen Xili and Su Bing left first, Gu Chaoming waved to them and looked back at Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan also looked at him: "I'll wait for you at the boulevard where I fed the cat last time."

Once, together with Su Bing and Cen Xili, they found the school kitten lying on the side of the road basking in the sun on the boulevard, and they ran over to feed the kitten.

Everyone was walking towards the cafeteria, and there were fewer people on the boulevard.

When they parted, Lin Jianfan told Gu Chaoming uneasy: "Remember not to be impulsive, I will wait for you there."

Gu Chaoming smiled at him: "Don't be nervous, I'm just going to get something."

Gu Chaoming told Lin Jianfan not to be nervous, but in fact, he never let go of the tension in his heart.

Going outside the school to pick up the things Gu Tao gave him, with Gu Tao's name on it, even the brief separation made Lin Jianfan nervous.

He walked to the boulevard where he met the kitten last time, and Gu Chaoming walked outside the school gate.

Opposite Direction.

Lin saw Fan turning his head to look at Gu Chaoming who was walking towards the school gate, he only saw Gu Chaoming's back.

As soon as he walked out of the school gate, Zhou Han, who was waiting outside the school, waved to him.

Walking up to Zhou Han, Zhou Han handed him a bulging envelope.

"I guess it's money inside." Zhou Han said to him.

When I met Gu Tao yesterday, Zhou Han originally wanted to avoid him, but Gu Tao had already discovered him and chatted a lot with him.What Gu Tao said didn't make sense, but Zhou Han could barely understand it.

Gu Tao seems to have lost a lot of weight and aged a lot. Zhou Han doesn't meet Gu Tao often, so I'm not sure if it's his illusion. Zhou Han truthfully told Gu Chaoming what he saw about Gu Tao.

"Your dad doesn't know what he's doing outside, and he's not in a good state of mind," Zhou Han said in a low voice, and leaned closer to Gu Chaoming, "I heard someone in the neighborhood say that your dad was tricked into passing on a pyramid scheme. , and some people say that your dad took drugs."

After Gu Chaoming moved out, Gu Tao didn't go home for so long. The few times he went home, he went crazy and smashed things at home. The neighbors didn't dare to argue with him, for fear that he, a lunatic, would beat others.

There is everything in the neighborhood, Zhou Han advises Gu Chaoming not to go home, and to pay attention to it recently, he will help to keep an eye on it.

"Thank you." Gu Chaoming said to Zhou Han while holding the thick envelope in his hand.

As soon as he touched the envelope, Gu Chaoming knew that there must be money inside.

He had to wonder, Gu Tao gave him money?

That man who only asked for money from him actually gave him money?

In front of Zhou Han, Gu Chaoming couldn't express his doubts. Zhou Han promised him that he would watch for him, and Gu Chaoming thanked him very much.

When everything was said and finally about to leave, Zhou Han hesitated and decided to say to Gu Chaoming: "Let me first say that I'm not sure if your dad said that, because he was crying while talking, and I don't care if he drank." I know whether it’s nonsense or sincerity, so I don’t dare to tell you, but I think I still have to tell you.”

"What did he say?" Gu Chaoming asked.

What words can make Zhou Han so entangled?

"Your father said he was sorry for you, sorry for you two, and said that they all looked down on him and so on. I didn't hear the rest clearly."

Zhou Han was not sure, but he seemed to hear it.He was afraid that he had heard wrongly, and relayed the wrong information to Gu Chaoming, which would soften Gu Chaoming's heart and cause Gu Chaoming, who had finally escaped, to return to Gu Tao's violence, but Zhou Han felt the need to say that in the end he still Speak up.

Zhou Han once again emphasized his uncertainty, and did not want Gu Chaoming to change his mind because of his words: "He may mean this, or he may not. But I advise you not to go home, even if he really said sorry .”

Zhou Han didn't know what kind of person Gu Tao was, but even he didn't believe that people like Gu Tao would repent. Alcoholic.

When Gu Tao first grabbed him yesterday, he was normal, but after he talked and yelled without crying, Zhou Han stood on the side of the road in embarrassment.

Such a person is sorry, just listen to it and have some comfort in your heart, Zhou Han thinks it can't be taken seriously, if it is taken seriously, it is really easy to be hurt again.

Zhou Han also didn't believe that Gu Chaoming would be so stupid.

Gu Chaoming, who has lived under the same roof with Gu Tao for more than ten years, is naturally not that stupid. He doesn't believe in Gu Tao's change, and he doesn't believe in Gu Tao's sorry, but it is undeniable that he heard Zhou Han say that Gu Tao cried and said sorry When it was time, Gu Chaoming's heart was touched.

Touched hard.

Holding the thick envelope and saying goodbye to Zhou's letter, and walking to the school boulevard to find Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming kept thinking and imagining how Gu Tao said he was sorry.

When Zhou Han said that Gu Tao said he was sorry, he felt his touch. He thought it was just a small touch. On the way to find Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming realized that he had been thinking about Gu Tao's sorry.

Knowing through other people's mouths that his father, who was often domestically abused, cried and said sorry after not seeing him for a long time, Gu Chaoming's heart was complicated.

He is not a person without feelings, he is Gu Tao's son after all, even though he doesn't want to admit it.Hearing a sentence of sorry that he never thought of, Gu Chaoming felt that his world seemed to have changed.

His dislike and hatred towards Gu Tao did not change, or even diminished a bit, but it felt as if Gu Tao should treat him as his own son the moment he said he was sorry.

Gu Tao, who was a father at that moment, should have a little love for him, right?

He tried to find the love he had missed all his life in a sentence of sorry.

Gu Chaoming felt that he was funny and pitiful.

He walked to the boulevard and saw Lin Jianfan gently stroking the kitten's head on the boulevard.

Rows of big trees are planted along the tree-lined roads in the school.

The afternoon sun in spring gently enveloped Lin Jianfan. Standing there, Lin Jianfan heard Gu Chaoming calling him.

He turned around smiling, the sun shining on him.

Gu Chaoming galloped towards him, hugging him tightly, even hugging the shining sunlight on his body.

Gu Chaoming hugged him, and tightly squeezed the envelope full of money that Gu Tao gave him, the yellow envelope paper bag was about to be crushed by him.

The moment he embraced Lin Jianfan, his bones ached from the touch.Gu Chaoming hugged him tightly, as if he wanted to hug him into his aching bones, into his heart to protect him.

His heart is so cold, only he can warm up.