the world in which he exists

Gu Chaoming walked in the long corridor of the school. There were not many people in the corridor, only a few people stood in the shade and chatted.

"Gu Shuai."

Cen Xili's shout came from behind, Gu Chaoming hadn't gone far when he turned his head when he heard Cen Xili's voice.

"what?"

Gu Chaoming had his trouser pocket in his hand, and in it was the cigarettes he took out of his schoolbag.Gu Chaoming was extra careful, always felt that he was very unlucky today, and he didn't know when the bad relationship with the dean would end. Gu Chaoming didn't want to see the dean again for a third time.

Cen Xili lay on the edge of the back door of the classroom and shouted to Gu Chaoming: "The monitor told you to..."

Cen Xili's voice suddenly stopped as if someone had cut it off with a knife, and his gaze towards Gu Chaoming also shifted to behind him, staying somewhere behind him, and then hid back in the classroom like a small animal.

Before he finished speaking, the person had already avoided, obviously seeing something.

Watching Cen Xili disappear from the back door of the classroom, Gu Chaoming didn't need to think about who Cen Xili saw, either You Xin or a sea dog, except for the two of them, Cen Xili would react this way.

Gu Chaoming heaved a sigh of relief for Cen Xili.

Even though he guessed who it was, Gu Chaoming still had a trace of doubt in his heart, at least it was doubt, at worst it was worry.

In the past, Chen Haiyang and the others found out that Cen Xili liked You Xin, and those things happened again, which caused Cen Xili and You Xin to "break up".At that time, the rumors and gossips were so strong that Cen Xili didn't like to talk. Su Bing and Gu Chaoming thought he was suffering from depression.

Saying goodbye to Cen Xili that day, watching Cen Xili leave the campus on his bicycle, Su Bing held snacks in his hand, and suddenly said to Gu Chaoming in a deep tone: "Xiao Xili hasn't spoken to me today, and he deliberately avoided me."

"He didn't talk to me much today, and he didn't reply to me much when I talked to him." Gu Chaoming said.

Su Bing grabbed the snack bag as if thinking of something, and turned his head with a serious look on his face: "Xiao Xili is suffering from depression, right? Depression seems to be like this."

At that time, although Gu Chaoming felt that what Su Bing said about depression was ridiculous, but with the mentality that he would rather believe it or not, he and Su Bing took the bag of snacks in his hand and checked depression on the Internet with his mobile phone. Symptoms, preventive measures for depression, how to relieve a partner, what to pay attention to when talking with depression... I'm afraid that Cen Xili can't think about it.

As the sun gradually set, the trainees on the playground ran in circles, and the yellow flowers that bloomed in spring and summer were in full bloom in the flower garden. The two teenagers sat on the steps and worried about their companions.

"Hey, Gu Shuai, look at this, isn't that what Xili is all about?" Su Bing pointed to the phone and said.

Cen Xili didn't know about these things, they didn't tell them, and Cen Xili would definitely call them stupid if he knew.

At that time, Cen Xili avoided You Xin reflexively as soon as he saw You Xin, just like before, this situation lasted for a while, and then I don't know if it was because of their hard persuasion, or because Cen Xili figured it out on his own as time went by. happy knot.

Anyway, Gu Chaoming and Su Bing were very happy that Cen Xili could think about it, but just now Cen Xili returned to his previous state, hiding back in the classroom, like a snail hiding in its shell, avoiding those gossips and Chen Haiyang's provocation.

At that time, Cen Xili, who was originally introverted, was forced to not speak much to them both, and told them not to talk to him because he was afraid that they would be discussed by others. Su Bing scolded him severely before waking him up.

Seeing Cen Xili hiding in the classroom again, Gu Chaoming worried that he would go back to that time and think wildly by himself.

If Cen Xili can hide back in the classroom, Gu Chaoming guesses that You Xin is more likely behind him. It is unnecessary to see Chen Haiyang hiding in the classroom.

Gu Chaoming turned around with the cigarette in his pocket, and as expected, he saw You Xin who was helping others not far away.

You Xin was holding the chemical equipment for the next chemistry class in his hands, and a playful girl with short hair was beside him.Holding a small stack of test papers in her hands, the girl smiled happily under the sunshine.

Gu Chaoming knew her, You Xin was the chemistry class representative of their class.

When Gu Chaoming turned around, the two of them were still standing at the same place and just started walking. Although they didn't see the process of You Xin taking the chemical equipment from the girl, seeing the girl smiling and saying thank you to You Xin, Gu Chaoming could Guess the scene that Cen Xili saw.

It's nothing more than the old-fashioned scene of You Xin, the male god of the grade, helping others and helping the chemistry class representative to carry chemical utensils.

Cen Xili must have hid in because he saw this.

Recalling Cen Xili's appearance of avoiding You Xin before, Gu Chaoming began to feel sorry for his family Xili again.

The girl next to her was full of girlish vigor and said thank you to him. You Xin answered her, but her eyes fell on the back entrance of Class Two, Senior Two, where there was no one there.

The "Gu Shuai" that Cen Xili called Gu Chaoming was quite loud, he could hear it from such a distance. After he took the chemical equipment from the representative of the chemistry class, he looked towards the back door of the second class of senior high school By that time, the protruding head had disappeared.

You Xin hadn’t had time to look away from the back door of class two. The equipment needed for the chemistry class had just arrived for a few seconds. He received a thank you from the representative of the chemistry class, and at the same time received Gu Chaoming’s sight projected towards him like a laser gun. .

Gu Chaoming stood in the middle of the corridor with his hands in his pockets, his eyes were piercing, and he wore a black baseball cap on his head. The part of his mouth that was split yesterday was slowly healing after a night, showing a blood-clotting black red color, not big, but a bit conspicuous.

The wound at the corner of his mouth matches his sharp eyes now, it doesn't look like he was beaten like this, but rather like he was beaten like this.

Gu Chaoming couldn't see his current appearance, didn't know how fierce he was in the eyes of others, and he still felt sorry for his deskmate.

You Xin was walking in the corridor with the representatives of the chemistry class with the chemistry equipment in hand. Gu Chaoming walked across from them.

At that time, the matter of Cen Xili was quite a big deal, and the parents of both parties were invited. Gu Chaoming and Su Bing had fought with You Xin again. Almost the entire grade knew about the hostile relationship between Gu Chaoming and You Xin. Class representatives are no exception.

Seeing Gu Chaoming striding from the opposite side with his hands in his pockets, the representative of the chemistry class was still a little scared, and pretended to be looking at the road in fear, and then sneaked a little more glances at Gu Chaoming from his eyes.

Gu Chaoming and You Xin walked across each other like this, and the chemistry class representative felt that they were like opponents in Hong Kong dramas.

Cops and bad guys.

One face to face, probing each other, fighting with eyes, turbulent waves, full of hostility, she has automatically matched the combat bgm in her mind.

Su Bing once sighed: "You Sanjin's grandson doesn't know what kind of tonic his family gave him, why is his height soaring upwards, if he exceeds the two of us, we will be frustrated."

To borrow Su Bingji's words, You Xin is indeed still growing, and he is taller than Gu Chaoming now, but fortunately, he is not much taller, and he can't tell if he doesn't stand together.

When the two passed by face to face, the representative of the chemistry class was sandwiched between them, feeling that the sunlight was blocked, as if they were moving forward between two mountains.

From seeing Gu Chaoming's hostile eyes to the two "passing each other" by the chemistry class representative, You Xin has never formally responded or paid attention to Gu Chaoming's eyes.

The surface was turbulent, but inside it was Gu Chaoming's unhappiness alone.

There was a lot of noise after class in the second and second grades of senior high school. Two boys in front of the blackboard at the back of the classroom were fighting and going back and forth after the classroom, playing from the trash can to the back door, and from the back door to the trash can.

Gu Chaoming's guess was right. He guessed exactly what Cen Xili saw from lying on the back door and the reason why Cen Xili hid in the classroom.

Cen Xili was lying on the edge of the back door, saw You Xin at the other end of the corridor, and saw You Xin running from the shadows to the chemistry class representative of his class.

The sun was shining on the two young people, and You Xin took over the heavy chemical equipment from the representative of the chemistry class.

Measuring cups, test tubes, alcohol lamps... Most of the chemical utensils are transparent, and the sunlight gathers into spots on the transparent glass, which are reflected into Cen Xili's eyes.He regretted calling Gu Chaoming in the corridor so loudly, the spot of light was too dazzling, forcing him into the classroom through the corridor.

Cen Xili retreated to the classroom, his arm collided with another body.

What is hard is the back bone of a person.

The arm collided with the back, and the collision produced a silent and rapid retreat.

Cen Xili glanced at Wu Shan who was about to jump up after taking a big step away from him just by touching him.

Wu Shan took a step back and stepped on the foot of Li Zhao who was fighting with him.On Li Zhao's new sneakers, which he bought just yesterday, there was a clear footprint on the upper.

"I just met Cen Xili!" Wu Shan's voice sounded like something serious had happened.

"When you touch it, you touch it. Why are you acting like a monkey?" Li Zhao bent over and wiped the dirty shoe upper, and wanted to say, "Cen Xili only likes men, not all men." To tell the truth, the tail was crushed into fine pieces by Wu Shan.

Wu Shan grabbed Li Zhao's neck, who was bending over to polish his shoes, and put half of his body on Li Zhao's back.

Li Zhao exerted all his strength to push Wu Shan away who was pressing on him.There is no reason for young people to fight. If you hit me, I will pay you back.

The young man's energy seemed endless, so Cen Xili dodged it and sat back in his seat.

Although many of his classmates had no ill intentions towards him, Cen Xili clearly understood that he was always special in their eyes.He didn't want this special, but God insisted on bestowing it on him, just like meeting You Xin.

He hid back to the class not because he saw You Xin helping the chemistry class representative, but at that moment he seemed to realize whether he was the abnormal one?

As parents said, as classmates said, as Chen Haiyang said.

Su Bing once said to him: "Listen to me, Xili, you are not wrong, let alone abnormal as they say. You are not wrong at all. What is wrong is this world that cannot understand love."

Even Lao Chen talked to him: "This is a normal phenomenon, just like people grow up and develop, children will wet the bed, these are all so normal that they can't be normal anymore. You don't have to pay too much attention to it, don't suppress yourself, don't worry about it." To make a conscious effort to change, just follow your heart."

Whenever he is in despair, he always thinks of these words to give himself strength, but when he sees the boys and girls in the sun, even the chemical equipment in their hands is dazzling, at that moment all the words seem to turn into wind, from He whizzed past in his mind and disappeared completely.

The picture he saw was so beautiful that he envied it.Maybe You Xin should be like that, maybe that's what happiness is called.

You are not wrong, there is another voice in his heart saying to him.

Cen Xili suspected that his thoughts surfaced more than once, and he also fell into deeper darkness because of this, but every time it was the same as now.

Seeing You Xin and the representative of the chemistry class subsided little by little, the heat wave in my mind ebbed.The words of Lao Chen and Su Bing were like stones covered with sand, which appeared bit by bit when the strong wind blew by.

After the head-turning climax passed, he still believed that he was the same as them, and that he was not wrong.

He is always floating in his own world.

The fight behind them continued, Li Zhao and Wu Shan pushed and shoved to the back door close to their ears.

Lin Jianfan, who was sitting by the back door, pulled the chair and quietly avoided, and accidentally the chair scraped the floor and let out a sharp whine.

The sound was harsh, and Cen Xili turned around, only to find that something was wrong with Lin Jianfan.

His eyes were uncertain, his face was anxious, and his fingers were clasped on the edge of the desk.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Cen Xili asked a little worried.

Seeing that Fan put away his hands and hid them under the table, he raised his eyes to look at Cen Xili, and after a long time, he spoke slowly, his tone still brisk: "I have a cold, and I feel a little uncomfortable."

"Cold in summer? It's very uncomfortable. Do you want to go to the infirmary? Do you know where it is?"

Cen Xili moved the stool closer to Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan looked at Cen Xili who was worried about him in front of him, and wanted to thank him, saying "I'm fine", and before he could say "I'm fine", the world in front of Lin Jianfan's eyes suddenly shook.

He didn't faint, but Li Zhao, who was playing with Wu Shan behind him, hit the chair and almost fell.

Cen Xili quickly reached out to support him, and the two who were arguing stopped.

Li Zhao accidentally ran into a new classmate and wanted to say "sorry".Originally, he wanted to strike up a conversation with the new transfer student, but before he could open his mouth, Lin Jianfan had already said something quickly to Cen Xili who was supporting him, and immediately ran out from the back door of the classroom after speaking.

Um?Why did you run away? .

The conversation plan that started with "Sorry" failed, Li Zhao looked at Lin Jianfan's running back, and then looked at Cen Xili.

What did Lin Jian Fan Gang say to him?

Under Li Zhao's questioning eyes, Cen Xili told him, "Lin Jianfan said he had a cold and wanted to vomit, so he went to the bathroom."

The corridor was full of sunlight, and the sunlight invaded the shadows a little bit. Lin Jianfan ran in the corridor, bypassing the students in the corridor.

The wind blows in front of my eyes, and the blue and white school uniforms melt into color blocks and pass quickly before my eyes.

As the sun passed, even the door of the toilet had been occupied.

I thought there would be many people in the toilet between classes, but when Lin saw Fan ran in, only one person was coming out of the toilet cubicle.Lin Jianfan waited for the man to go out before going to the sink and turning on the faucet.

The water was washing against the palms of his hands, and Lin Jianfan folded his hands into a bowl shape, took a handful of water and poured it on his cheeks.

On a hot summer day, with the continuous high temperature, the water in the hands is roasted warm, and the cold feeling when splashed on the cheeks is unimaginable.

The bangs on the forehead were wet with water, and the eyelashes dragged the water droplets. Seeing that the world in front of Fan's eyes was blurred, Lin wanted to blink a few times to shake off the water droplets on the eyelashes.

Before he had time, water droplets lay stubbornly on his eyelashes, and the world in front of him was briefly washed away.

The world at that moment was blurry, like a photographer's defocused photo.

There was a sound of the door opening, and a new color appeared in the out-of-focus photo, a blue-white block, with white light behind the blue-white block, Lin Jianfan knew that it was the light coming in from the window.

He came towards him in the light.

The water droplets on the eyelashes rolled off, and vision gradually recovered.The world in front of me is a little bit clearer, and the people walking are also a little bit clearer.

Lin Jianfan saw him clearly and smelled the smoke on his body.