the world in which he exists

In autumn, the leaves are falling, the winter wind arrives early, but there is no news from Dongxue.

The leaves on the roadside fell at the end of autumn, leaving only dry and bare branches growing upwards. The trees on the roadside grew tall and big, as if they were going to cut through the dark winter sky.

Life in the third year of high school is as quiet as a pool of motionless water, peaceful and ordinary.Without Gu Tao's interruption, Gu Chaoming experienced what time flies like an arrow during the intense exam preparation time of the third year of high school.

The daily review made Gu Chaoming feel like he stayed in a small room and never went out. He didn't know the time outside. When he opened the door, it turned out that it was the time when the cold wind was raging in winter.

The life without Gu Tao in the third year of high school, except for Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming's mind is filled with knowledge every day, and there is no room for other things.

When he was in the second year of high school, he imagined that the senior year was such an ordinary waste of time. When Gu Tao still appeared in his life, he imagined that in the third year of high school, he would close the door that could no longer be closed amidst Gu Tao's cursing, regardless of Gu Tao's cursing. I bury my head down and study hard.Maybe sometimes I have to endure some scars, and then hide from Lin Jianfan the next day.

The imaginary third year is the third year when Gu Tao is still there. In the real third year, Gu Chaoming and Lin Jianfan are walking home for dinner together.

It was already dark when school was over in winter, Lin saw Fan walking beside Gu Chaoming talking about going to the library to review on Saturday.

"yawn!"

While listening to Lin Jianfan's words, Gu Chaoming looked at the birds parked on the branches with no leaves on the side of the road. Lin Jianfan sneezed and made Gu Chaoming look away from watching the birds.

Lin Jianfan touched his itchy nose.

Gu Chaoming took off the red scarf around his neck and wrapped it around the sneezing Lin Jianfan.

It was warm on the neck, and the scarf still carried Gu Chaoming's temperature.

Putting a scarf on Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming tore off his gloves.Put your palms on Lin Jianfan's frozen red cheeks, and use the warmth of your palms to convey Lin Jianfan's warmth.

Holding Lin Jianfan's frozen red cheeks, seeing Lin Jianfan's eyes looking at him, Gu Chaoming couldn't help rubbing them.

Lin saw that the flesh on Fan's cheeks was squeezed into a ball under Gu Chaoming's palm, and his mouth was forced into a goldfish's mouth.

Gu Chaoming laughed, the fun in the life of exhausting review in the third year of high school is so simple.

Let go of Lin Jianfan's face, and Gu Chaoming put on the gloves again.

This winter is very cold, much colder than last year's winter.The wind never stops on the road, and the sun has never been seen after winter.Gu Chaoming just wanted to bask in the warm winter sun, but God never gave him the chance.

A gust of wind blew across the road, and Ben walked side by side. When the wind came, Gu Chaoming ran to Lin Jianfan and opened his arms to block Lin Jianfan's path.

He is shielding him from the wind.

Gu Chaoming did this before, Lin Jianfan asked him what he was doing, Gu Chaoming said: "The wind is coming, help you to block the wind."

A little silly, Lin Jianfan was resisted by a 1.8-meter tall man, and the wind rushed past Gu Chaoming. Lin Jianfan seemed to be protected by him, and the winter wind suddenly became an enemy.

Gu Chaoming would always do some tricks like this to make him happy. Gu Chaoming was so childish when he talked about love, but Lin Jianfan couldn't help but snigger every time.

His boyfriend is so stupid, how could he be so stupid, so cute.

Lin Jianfan doesn't allow Gu Chaoming to judge him by cuteness, but he can judge Gu Chaoming by cuteness.

Passing by the convenience store on the roadside, Lin saw Fan La pulling Gu Chaoming's padded jacket sleeves to signal him to stop.

"I want to drink yogurt." Lin Jianfan blinked at Gu Chaoming and said.

Because it was winter and the weather was cold, Gu Chaoming asked Lin Jianfan to drink yogurt.Lin Jianfan was an obedient child, and Gu Chaoming said that he hadn't had much yogurt since the beginning of winter.

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was blinking, and his nose bleeds.The heart is a bottle of Coke that has been shaken, seeing Lin Jianfanqiu's expression of agreeing with him to drink yogurt, all the excitement gushes out.

It was just a blinking and requesting expression, and Gu Chaoming agreed very unprincipled.

Seeing that Fan got Gu Chaoming's nod of approval, Lin burst out laughing.

As long as Lin Jianfan is happy, this yogurt is worth buying.

Not only did Gu Chaoming agree unprincipledly to Lin Jianfan to drink yogurt, Lin Jianfan only wanted to take a small bottle, so Gu Chaoming reached out from behind him and took out a wad of yogurt and went straight to the checkout.

In winter, the yogurt is even colder, and the yogurt slides in the mouth.Lin Jianfan, who drank yogurt in winter, was as happy as a child, talking more than usual.

He jumped along the way, and his jumping steps proved to Gu Chaoming that he was in a good mood.

Jumping steps and talking a lot, unlike the usual Lin Jianfan, Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who was walking beside him and talking non-stop.

A bottle of yogurt is really powerful.

Gu Chaoming bit the straw and laughed at the lively Lin Jianfan.

Lin saw that Fan was so happy today, he was still bouncing up and down the stairs when he walked into the unit building, while Gu Chaoming was walking behind with a plastic bag of yogurt in his hand, telling him to be careful not to fall.

Lin, who was bouncing up the stairs, saw Fan stop at the corner of the stairs, wearing the same style of couple gloves of different colors that Gu Chaoming bought for him when the weather was just cold, and leaning on the handrail of the stairs, he looked down and was still at the corner of the stairs on the next floor Gu Chaoming.

"Give me the key, I'll open the door today." Lin Jianfan stretched out his gloved hand to Gu Chaoming and said.

Walking on the stairs, Gu Chaoming looked up at the happy Lin Jianfan, took out the key from his pocket with a smile, walked up a few flights of stairs, and put the key safely in Lin Jianfan's gloved palm.

As soon as he got the key, Lin Jianfan ran upstairs two steps at a time, and threw Gu Chaoming downstairs.

Gu Chaoming speeded up to catch up, but he was still not as fast as Lin Jianfan.

Stepping up the stairs, I looked up at Lin Jianfan who ran up the stairs, and saw Lin Jianfan who had already reached the door of his house and stuck his head out to see where he was going.

Going home together, Gu Chaoming raised his head and smiled, fulfilling one of his wishes ahead of schedule.

He likes this feeling, the feeling of coming home together, and the new house he rents is their home.Although he just went home for dinner at night, when he saw Lin Jianfan sitting in the living room resting or helping him in the kitchen while cooking in the kitchen, Gu Chaoming was overwhelmed by the ocean of happiness in his heart.

The current life coincides with his fantasy future. Sometimes in a trance, when he sees Lin Jianfan sitting on the sofa watching TV in the living room from the open door of the kitchen, Gu Chaoming thinks that he has come to the future, the future where they live together.

Although there was only one meal, Gu Chaoming still cherished it.He never thought that he would get the right to go back to the same home with Lin Jianfan in his third year of high school.

When he walked to his door, Lin Jianfan was waiting for him at the door, but he didn't open the door. When Gu Chaoming came up, Lin Jianfan urged him to hurry up.

The key was inserted into the lock, the door opened, Lin Jianfan walked into the room, took off his shoes and put on soft cotton slippers.

Gu Chaoming kept walking behind and looked at his back, which was especially jumpy today, closed the door and put the yogurt into the refrigerator.

"I still want to drink a bottle." Putting down her schoolbag, Lin saw Fan Xiao running over and standing in front of the open refrigerator door.

"I still have to eat later." Gu Chaoming played a bad role and closed the refrigerator.

Lin Jianfan was instantly lost, his shoulders shrugged, yogurt was like a continuation of his excitement, without yogurt Lin Jianfan's jumping disappeared.

Gu Chaoming, who closed the refrigerator door, sighed slightly inaudibly: "Then have another bottle."

Lin Jianfan's eyes immediately lit up when he heard that he could drink another bottle, and he regained his vitality just now.

It's really unprincipled, Gu Chaoming laughed at himself.

Open the refrigerator, help Lin Jianfan break off a box of yogurt, insert a straw and pass it to him.

Lin Jianfan happily drank the yogurt, and the milky white yogurt entered Lin Jianfan's mouth through a transparent straw.Gu Chaoming threw away the plastic packaging that wrapped the straw in his hand, hung up his apron and walked into the kitchen to prepare for cooking.

After scooping up an appropriate amount of rice and taking it to the sink to wash the rice, Lin Jianfan, who agreed to drink another bottle of yogurt, walked into the kitchen with the yogurt.

The water washed the rice grains, and when he heard Lin Jianfan walking into the kitchen, Gu Chaoming turned his head and asked, "What's wrong?"

Lin Jianfan walked over without saying a word and stopped in front of Gu Chaoming.

"Sit down, you don't need to help today..."

Gu Chaoming, who was speaking, suddenly stopped, looking at Lin Jianfan's face in front of him, his lips that were a little dry in winter were stained with the aroma of yogurt in Lin Jianfan's mouth.

Gu Chaoming in front of the sink was stunned, the water kept washing the rice grains.

"It's a little cold in the mouth."

When Lin Jianfan got up, he could hear his heart beating like when he just went upstairs.

Looking at Gu Chaoming who was cooking in the kitchen in the living room, Lin Jianfan didn't think about how to explain the kiss he suddenly wanted to ask for.He just walked into the kitchen, feeling his mouth was cold after drinking the yogurt, and seeing Gu Chaoming in the kitchen, he wanted to ask for some warmth in his mouth.

When I walked into the kitchen, I didn't think about it so much. After the kiss, I said the phrase "the mouth is a little cold" very naturally.

Xu Shi's words awakened Lin Jianfan, who was too happy today, and let him return to the shyness of the past.

I seem to be overly excited today.

After the kiss, Lin saw Fan standing there blankly, without the momentum of the kiss at all.

He seemed to be a little drifting, and when Gu Chaoming allowed him to drink two bottles of yogurt that he couldn't normally drink today, he started to drift.

Gu Chaoming looked at Lin Jianfan who confidently walked into the kitchen and became shy after kissing him, he knew that Lin Jianfan was happy.

Seeing that Fan's joy subsided a little, Lin wanted to go back to the living room.Looking at Gu Chaoming's face in front of him, Lin Jianfan's shyness could not be restrained like his joy.

Lin saw that Fan wanted to escape back to the living room, but Gu Chaoming didn't give him a chance, grabbed him and dragged him back who wanted to escape.

With the taste of yogurt in his mouth, the yogurt box he was holding fell to the ground.Lin Jianfan's cotton clothes were pasted on the wet sink, and the kitchen was quiet, except for the noisy sound of water, only the slow to rapid breathing of Lin Jianfan and Gu Chaoming.The sound of breathing could not suppress the sound of the taste of yogurt in his mouth. Lin Jianfan closed his eyes and felt the temperature of Gu Chaoming's neck.

The sound of the water flowing in the sink changed, and the two people beside the sink didn't notice it for a while.Gu Chaoming, who knew how to cook, was the first to notice. After letting go of Lin Jianfan, he hurriedly turned off the water flow that had already been thrown out. Lin Jianfan stood aside and tried to help, but he couldn't help, so he could only stand aside and look at Gu Chaoming. laugh.

Gu Chaoming raised his wet palm and flicked water at Lin Jianfan who was standing by the sink smiling, Lin Jianfan smiled and avoided.

Gu Chaoming pushed Lin Jianfan with his wet elbow, and pushed him out of the kitchen: "Stop making trouble, and watch TV, we will be late later."

Seeing Fan curling his lips, Lin Jian, as the number one in his grade, unexpectedly wanted to be late today a little waywardly.

This is the normal state of their senior year of high school. The excessive happiness makes Gu Chaoming often feel that there is a clear dividing line with his previous ten years of life.

The dividing line is very blurred, but it separates two completely different lives.One is an endless hell, and the end is a prison that never sees the sun.One is the present with Lin Jianfan.

The two extremes are like the north and south poles of the earth. Gu Chaoming's north and south poles are connected together and separated by a vague dividing line.

Gu Chaoming doesn't know when his life became the way he is now immersed in sweetness all day long, maybe it was the day when he was with Lin Jianfan, maybe it was the day when Gu Tao disappeared from his life, Maybe, maybe it was the day he met Lin Jianfan.

In the summer when he met Lin Jianfan, his life quietly changed.

Saturday was not particularly favored by winter, the air was as cold as usual, the cold wind was blowing as usual, and even the temperature dropped a few degrees shamelessly.

He made an appointment to go to the library with Lin Jianfan to review. Gu Chaoming put on his schoolbag and changed his shoes at the entrance. He opened the door and received a message that Lin Jianfan was going out.

It was cold in winter, and there was a long road opposite the library. Gu Chaoming stood by the traffic light beside the road and waited for Lin Jianfan.

Lin Jianfan was a person who was punctual until Gu Chaoming couldn't persuade him, but he arrived surprisingly late today.

With a steaming hot drink in his hand, he specially bought it for Lin Jianfan who was cold on the road to warm up.

Standing on the side of the road and waiting for 1 minute, the phone vibrated, and Gu Chaoming took out the phone.

is a photo.

A picture of a dog.

The dog in the photo is very old, and Gu Chaoming, who doesn't know dogs well, can see that it is very old, and it is already old and not looking good.

The person who sent the photo was Lin Jianfan. Gu Chaoming immediately thought of the dead Guoguo that Lin Jianfan was crying in his arms that night.

Thinking of Lin Jianfan's tears that night, Guoguo is very important to him, Gu Chaoming's heart skipped a beat, fearing that Lin Jianfan would think of Guoguo because he saw this dog.

Looking at the background behind the photo, it was on the side of the road that Gu Chaoming knew. It should be taken by Lin Jianfan himself, on the way to the library.

The dog quietly stuck to Lin Jianfan's side, allowing Lin Jianfan to stroke it.

Gu Chaoming was afraid that Lin Jianfan's next message would be "This dog looks like Guoguo".

He also wanted to know what Guoguo, who made Lin Jianfan cry bitterly in his arms, looked like, but he didn't want Lin Jianfan to tell him either.

Maybe Lin saw that Fan Neng told him about Guoguo to prove that he really let go of Guoguo's death, but Gu Chaoming was afraid that what he was waiting for would be crying like last time.

Gu Chaoming stood on the side of the road with a hot drink and waited for Lin Jianfan.

He looked at the direction where Lin Jianfan would appear in front of him, and he hoped and believed that the ever-forward life would not let Lin Jianfan stand still.

Lin Jianfan will move forward with life.

Gu Chaoming will wait for Lin to see Fan, hand him a cup of hot drink, smile and say to him: "Go in."

He waited for Lin Jianfan to come, the hot drink in his hand was boiling hot in winter, he waited for Lin Jianfan who appeared at that intersection.

As soon as he saw Lin Jianfan appearing in front of him, Gu Chaoming immediately walked to the zebra crossing with a hot drink, ready to pick him up.

The green light turned red, stopping Gu Chaoming's footsteps and Lin Jianfan's footsteps from crossing the road.

They were separated at both ends of the road by a red light, and there was a lot of traffic in between.

Across the zebra crossing, Lin Jianfan saw Gu Chaoming who couldn't wait on the other side of the road, and Gu Chaoming saw Lin Jianfan smiling at him across the road.

Gu Chaoming also laughed. As soon as the red light turned green, Gu Chaoming immediately ran across the zebra crossing, as if he was afraid that he would not be able to keep up with the smile on Lin Jianfan's face.

When Lin saw Fan walking down the zebra crossing, Gu Chaoming ran to him and stopped, the hot drink in his hand slightly swaying.

They met at the zebra crossing, Gu Chaoming handed Lin Jianfan a hot drink, and accompanied Lin Jianfan to walk back to the side of the road he ran out of.

On the other side of the road, Lin Jianfan asked, "Why are you still running here?"

Gu Chaoming said: "I'm afraid that the hot drink will be cold, and I'm also afraid that you walk too slowly. I miss you so much."

The hot drink in his mouth was a little hot, and it burned Lin Jianfan's heart.

Lin Jianfan did meet an old dog on the road, and that dog really looked like Guoguo, but he no longer cried because he thought of Guoguo.

On the way to the library, he just looked at the dog lying on the side of the road. The dog stared at him with blank eyes, and Lin Jianfan couldn't move anymore.He didn't see Guoguo's appearance when he died. He was still in school when Guoguo died, and he only received a phone call from home saying that Guoguo had died.

He didn't know whether the dog, whose hair was still shiny and with a collar hanging around its neck, was obviously a domestic dog was abandoned or lost, or if it was dying and he chose to run away from home.

Lin saw Fan standing there for a long time, he couldn't move, and even tried to walk slowly to touch it, like stroking Guoguo who he didn't accompany until the last moment.

The old dog was very obedient and didn't move. Lin Jianfan didn't yell when he approached it, but just stared at Lin Jianfan who was walking towards him, and when Lin Jianfan approached it, he still looked at him like that.

"What's your name?" Lin Jianfan, who successfully approached, talked to the old dog.

The old dog did not speak to him but allowed him to approach.

Lin Jianfan tried to stroke it, and it was very obedient, neither screaming nor biting.

Quietly like an old man too lazy to talk.

"Did you feel something?" Lin Jianfan helped him talk to it along with its hair, maybe he looked like a lunatic in the eyes of passers-by.

He also felt it the day he went to school, but he didn't have time to pay attention to it. Guoguo felt that he couldn't do it anymore, so he ignored him when he left that day, and came to lick his palm when he went out.

The past cannot be recalled, recalling the past unconsciously, the eyes are moist, and the heart is sour.

This is better than mentioning Guoguo crying bitterly in Gu Chaoming's arms before, but Lin Jianfan still thinks it's better not to be sad.Gu Chaoming said to him that night: "If Guoguo sees you being so sad for it, it will be very sad too."

He doesn't want to forget Guoguo, he just wants to stop being sad when he recalls Guoguo, and let the grief stay in the past forever.

"Maomao, Maomao..."

An old man with a dog leash ran on the sidewalk next to him.He has gray hair but looks healthy and energetic, his face is a little anxious, and he keeps shouting: "Maomao, Maomao..."

The lying dog suddenly whined.

"Maomao?" Lin Jianfan also tried to call out, "Your name is Maomao?"

Lin Jianfan guessed right, the old man was the owner of the dog, and Mao Mao was its name.

The old man panted slightly from running, panting and stopped beside Lin Jianfan, the dog named Mao Mao stood up by himself and approached the running old man, slowly circling around him.

The old man stroked its head and hung it on a leash to prevent it from running away. After hanging the leash, the old man took a look at Lin Jianfan who was squatting next to Maomao.

The old man didn't speak, Lin saw Fan first and said, "Can I take a picture of it?"

Strange young man, the old man looked at Lin Jianfan and felt that this person should like dogs, but his dog is so old, he is the only one who can like it and take pictures.

It was strange that the old man still nodded in agreement with him to take pictures.

Lin Jianfan took out his mobile phone and took a picture, which was then displayed on the screen of Gu Chaoming's mobile phone.

Lin Jianfan also took the opportunity to touch the old dog again, touching the top of its head, hoping that it would come to lick his palm.

But it doesn't.

It didn't come to lick his palm to say goodbye to him like Guoguo, it just turned its head and was led home together by the old man, walking farther and farther in Lin Jianfan's sight.

Lin Jianfan, who was standing still, stood up, turned his palms over and looked at his own.Guoguo used to lick there, when he was about to leave home, when it was about to leave this world.

At that time Lin Jianfan looked back weakly, now Lin Jianfan watched it go away weakly.

He asked the old man if he could take a picture of it himself.

He is not nostalgic, he is saying goodbye.

Say goodbye to Guoguo who left him, say goodbye to the pain of the past.

Goodbye, Guoguo.

Goodbye, past.

Lin saw Fan walking to the side of the road, but the red light blocked his pace.

He stood on the other side of the road and looked at Gu Chaoming who wanted to cross the road to pick him up but was also blocked by a red light.

Lin saw Fan laughing.

Hello, Gu Chaoming.