my ten years with you

Ah Wu closed her eyes and opened them again, opened them and closed them again, almost unable to believe it was real.

But it was real, his frayed wrists, the lingering taste in his mouth and his swollen throat all told him it was real, a real nightmare from which he would never wake up.

Ah Wu waited for a while, and found that Bai Xiaonan had really left, and there was no sign of coming back to check on him, so he cried unscrupulously, because of pain, fear, and hatred.

If he was a little careless, he would be treated so cruelly if any sentence touched Bai Xiaonan's scales, so why did he show the illusion of obedience?Why did Bai Xiaonan say those gentle lies?

Ah Wu felt hatred burning from the bottom of his heart like a flame, he hated Bai Xiaonan, he almost believed his tenderness.

But the flames of hatred disappeared without warming him for too long. He tried to break free from the restraints on his wrists until his wrists were torn, but it didn't work at all, it just made him more painful and tired.

His knees have been hurting for a long time, but he can't even change his posture. This is different from when Bai Xiaonan asked him to kneel by the window in the morning. There is a thick and soft carpet in Bai Xiaonan's study. His body is free, and kneeling doesn't feel too uncomfortable, but now, he is kneeling on the cold floor, and he can't even change his center of gravity a little.

Not to mention his jaw, being unable to close his mouth for too long is a kind of torture in itself. This pain is the same as the soreness behind him. Time can't let him get used to it, it can only make him more painful.

Ah Wu felt that he might be crying again, he might as well let Bai Xiaonan drown directly on the first day, then at least he wouldn't hate himself as much as now.He felt disgusted, which was different from all the tortures he had experienced in the past, because when he faced Bai Xiaonan's cruelty, a part of himself really yearned for his tenderness.

Those obediences, no matter how much he lied to himself, were partly real.

That's why he has to run.

If he continued, he didn't know what he would become.That was what really terrified him.

Live well, the man told him.But does he know what it means to him to live?If he knew that there was so much pain ahead, would he still ask Ah Wu to go on by himself?

And himself, he didn't even know that person's real name.

He only remembered that the man had a long scar above his eyes, and he called him Brother Scar along with others, he was the only one who didn't try to violate him, the only one who protected him.

Bai Xiaonan was wrong, there are still people in this world who have not given up on him, as long as he always remembers that person, he will never lose the courage to run away, and he will never lose his true self.

Early the next morning, Bai Xiaonan called Zhang Chengyan to the study room, took out a bottle of wine from the small freezer, poured half of it into a glass, and drank it up without adding ice.His Adam's apple trembled a few times, and he put the cup heavily on the table. He woke up feeling uncomfortable in the morning. He asked in a calm voice, "Is there any progress? How long has he been missing? If he can't find it, he can only go to the Digging the grave to find the ashes!"

Zhang Chengyan glanced at him worriedly, lowered his head and shook his head, Li Shengwen came in with him, opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if he wanted to say something.

Bai Xiaonan said impatiently, "Say something quickly."

"Yes, this..." Li Shengwen quietly raised his eyes and glanced at Zhang Chengyan. Zhang Chengyan frowned and glared at him. One time I called the police, saying that the person who called the police looked a lot like Mr. Qin. However, his identity and name did not match. The information showed that his surname was Chen. Later, he was picked up by himself. It sounds like he has a big background. The police No case has been filed. Boss Zhang won’t let you know, because he’s afraid someone made a mistake and we don’t have any further news. Now that you know it, aren’t you more anxious?”

"I'm not in a hurry now!" Bai Xiaonan glared at Zhang Chengyan, pushed all the documents on the table down with a wave of his hand, stood up and patted the table, and said angrily: "You don't want to tell me anything. I also signed for me, and this chair is ready for you!"

These words were too serious, for a while the two of them didn't dare to speak, after a while, Zhang Chengyan raised his head and looked into Bai Xiaonan's eyes, and said neither humble nor overbearing: "Boss, you know my loyalty, this matter is not timely I told you that I didn't think carefully, but what I don't want to see is that you are like this now, and you can't even keep calm after hearing a little news about him!"

"I'm angry because you've learned to hide things from me now, which eye of yours has seen that I'm not calm about other things?!" Bai Xiaonan was still very angry, but her voice had gradually controlled to the normal range, only not obvious trembling showed his anger.

"As long as you have something to do with him, you have never calmed down. If it weren't for him, how could you question my intentions because of this? It's just a person who looks alike, and it might not be a big deal if you investigate it. So, you’re so anxious, aren’t there enough people running around for this matter every day? If this goes on, will the brothers do anything else? You already have a guy in your room who grows up with him Looks like it, isn't that one enough?"

Zhang Chengyan was also in a hurry, shaking out all the words in his heart in one breath, Li Shengwen was trembling with fear, but he said it without hesitation, because he grew up with Bai Xiaona since he was a child, he didn't care about him now How ugly his face is, I just want to wake him up quickly.

"Get out!" Bai Xiaonan slammed the glass on the wall behind them, the glass flew towards Zhang Chengyan's ear, and shattered on the wall.

"Get out, get out, the next time you call me over, it's better not to find some mysteriously missing first love!" Zhang Chengyan glanced at the shards of glass on the ground, and didn't want to continue arguing with him, turned his head and left, slamming the door very loud.

Li Chengwen stood there awkwardly, whether to leave or not, he looked outside the door and then at Bai Xiaonan's livid face, even he couldn't think of anything to ease the situation at this moment.

After a long while, he hesitated and asked, "Well, Boss Bai, is that kid okay? Look, shall I let the brothers look for something more similar?"

Bai Xiaonan didn't speak, put her feet up on the desk, took out a cigar from the drawer, lit it, took two puffs, looked out the window, and after looking for a long time, said: "You don't need to look for it."

Li Chengwen repeatedly agreed, took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his sweat, but felt a little bit secretly happy.There is no need to look for it anymore, it means that the one he found is the one that resembles the most, and it is also the only one left by Bai Xiaonan.

"It wasn't him who found it anyway." Bai Xiaonan took a long puff of cigarette and sighed softly.This sentence was not addressed to Li Shengwen, it was more like he was talking to himself.

Li Chengwen didn't answer the words, but his heart suddenly raised again. Could it be that this is not enough?

Bai Xiaonan smoked silently for a while, ignoring him, Li Chengwen lowered his head and didn't dare to look at him, and didn't know what he was thinking, after a while, Bai Xiaonan said leisurely: "You go too, go back and let him talk Be careful. Say what you think, it's too offensive."

Li Chengwen smiled apologetically: "That's not right, it's fine for him to talk to us in private, it's really inappropriate to talk to you like this."

Bai Xiaonan glanced at him sideways, snorted and said, "It's the most harmless thing to offend me. I'm afraid that he'll grow up with me and talk so lightly no matter where he speaks."

Li Chengwen nodded, but Bai Xiaonan didn't see it, his fists were secretly clenched behind him.

After sending them all away, Bai Xiaonan smoked his cigar for a while, until he felt his head was a little dull, then he cut off the cigar, and got up to pick up the documents he threw down.

He picked up the documents one by one, a stack of paper was a bit thick in the middle, he opened it and saw it was a photo frame.

The glass was broken, but the person inside still smiled brightly. His fingers caressed the cracks on the glass carefully, as if comforting the person in the photo.

It was taken at his high school graduation ceremony. He didn't even wear a suit. He undid two buttons of his white shirt. He raised his chin and smiled wickedly at the camera. A black tie, and like everyone else of his age trying to look less like a boy and more like a man.He clearly fails at this point, the way he smiles with a slight squint makes him look like a smug cat, too refined to be real.

There are only the two of them as the protagonists of this photo, and the other students are standing a little far away, which seems to be just the background.Qin Ruo always thought that it was because of his bad personality that he didn't have many friends. He didn't know that those people didn't dare to take a group photo out of fear of Bai Xiaonan.

Bai Xiaonan smiled, if Qin Ruo found out one day, she wondered if she would blame herself.

I don't know when he will have the chance to tell him.

He took out the photo, and he couldn't just smile in this cracked photo frame, he didn't really like taking pictures.

Bai Xiaonan took out a small photo album from the safe, put the photo in it, flipped through the photo album, and found photos of them when they were younger. There were not many of them in total. Two photos were taken secretly, one was taken when Qin Ruo was seriously playing games on the screen, and the other was taken secretly by Bai Xiaonan when he was sitting under a tree after fighting with someone.At that time, Qin Ruo was only 14 years old.

Most of the time, if Qin Ruo knew that someone was taking pictures of him, he would laugh, only that one was not happy, with his lips pouted and the corners of his eyes drooping, as if he was about to cry when he was wronged.Bai Xiaonan knew he wasn't crying, because later they went to find that man and fought again, and he knocked out the front teeth of the man who laughed at Qin Ruo's bastard.

What a coincidence that both of these people hate being mentioned about their own backgrounds so much, even though it's all true.

But he only looks like Qin Ruo when he is crying, what a pity.What's even more pity is that the only thing he can keep now is this face that looks like when he cried.

That face was the closest thing he ever had to love, he couldn't keep Qin Ruo, at least he had to keep something.

Bai Xiaonan took another look at Qin Ruo's smile in the photo, closed the album, and locked it back in the drawer.No matter how many times he looked at it, he couldn't find the same smile again.

If you can't get back that kind of smile, you can only look at similar crying.

The author has something to say:

I told you, Ah Wu is so pitiful.

(It’s pitiful, but it’s not that you want to see me abuse him!)