Quickly wear my first love a thousand times

A few days ago, my secretary, Ms. Yu, told me that she was getting married, and I gave her a long holiday for her honeymoon. She smiled happily when she thanked me.

Probably she is very happy.

I have no intention of getting married.So there is no way to experience the joy of marriage.

When I told you that I was going to be engaged to your sister, your face was very ugly.

I like the way you smile. Every time you show such a confident and proud look, it seems that I can be infected by your smile and feel younger.

You are indeed much younger than me. When my father had an accident, you were still a child, probably in junior high school.

At that time, you should be more childish and cute than now.I kind of want to see you back then.

You are really getting less and less cute now.

I know that you are sad, so you never have a good face towards me. Maybe you will feel more at ease when I am unhappy.

In fact, I shouldn't treat you like that. The whole thing is none of your business.But I have no choice. When I see you, I think of your father and my mother.

Sometimes I think, if we didn't have such a complicated relationship, wouldn't our ending be happy in the end?

It's just that we may never have the chance to meet again.

I don't know which of these two outcomes you will choose, I think, you probably would rather never know me.

When I saw you fall down the stairs, I knew I was done.

Everything changes when you wake up.

I think, now you won't like me anymore.No one likes their family's enemies.

But I still have a little extravagance in my heart, and you still like me a little bit.

Since I was a student, people have confessed to me in an endless stream, I find it very boring.When you said you liked me, I thought to myself, what a childish heart.

But your expression doesn't look like it was on a whim.I have no choice but to say that I will give you an answer in two days.

In fact, I had already started working on my plan at that time, and getting closer to you was also for the implementation of the plan later.

I didn't expect you to say you like me.

Since I was 30 years old, no one has confessed to me so directly. I was a little overwhelmed like a boy who received a love letter for the first time.

I said in my heart that if I rejected you directly, how sad you would be.

But I can't promise you.No matter from which aspect to consider.

I asked the secretary, Ms. Yu, how to judge whether I like a person or not.

I went to the doctor in an emergency.I don't understand what kind of emotion it is to like.

She told me vaguely, whether she likes it or not, it's hard to say clearly.However, it is always a pleasure to be with the person you like.

This is a bit like what my mother said.I think, the time with you, I really like it.I like your smile, your voice, your tone, just listening to you speak, I feel very satisfied.

I feel bad.

I think I should simply say no to you.

But as soon as I saw you smiling at me, I couldn't say no.

I know what will happen next, you will be very angry and very sad.

But I deliberately pretended not to know, as if everything would never happen.That night, I really enjoyed myself.

When I kissed you, I thought to myself, even the senses have become unreal, as if separated by clouds, ethereal and blurred.

I always thought I was an extremely disciplined person.

But still couldn't bear it.

Seeing you, that kind of mood seems to overflow, there is nowhere to hide.

When it's your birthday, I really want to make you happy.

Children's birthdays should be celebrated well.

I think, since you were young, you must be very happy to have your parents and sisters to accompany you on your birthday.

I also want to do my best to let you have the same happiness.

I really don't know how to please others.

Like you said, I used to go out with girls and my secretary arranged everything for me.

But when I saw you smiling, it probably made you a little bit happier.

It's a pity that it didn't keep you happy all the time.

I'm actually quite jealous of you.

Your family background is different from mine, and even the illusion of warmth and harmony is much better than mine.

So you and me are totally different.This was destined from birth.

I never thought of myself as a nice person.But you fell in love with me, and sometimes I would think, there is nothing worthy of your liking in a person like me.

But I was a little complacent, as if it proved that there are still people who like me very much, not for anything else, but for me.

You never smiled at me again afterwards.

Although I know in my heart that this is normal, I still have a little regret.

At the end of last year, I took you to Los Angeles to see the auto show, and you said that the limited edition roadster was very beautiful.

I got some connections and finally got one, I think you'll like it.

But before I gave you the car keys, you quarreled with me again.You said you don't want to see me again.

I suddenly realized that you wouldn't like it.Because it's about me.

You detest anything that has anything to do with me.

This is my own fault.

No wonder others.

At that time, my villa suddenly caught fire, and I didn't know you were still in the room.

I thought you left in a fit of anger, but you stayed in the room the whole time.

Knowing you're still in it makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

They stopped me and wouldn't let me in. At that time, I thought, if something really happened to you, then I really answered those four words—I have nothing to love.

I shouldn't have made you angry.Fortunately, you are fine.

Since my mother died, I really have nothing to miss in this world.

When my mother passed away, I actually had a premonition, but I just felt sad in my heart.

But if you suddenly disappear, then I really can only jump off the roof like my father.

More than a month ago, I got a medical certificate from the hospital.

The doctor's words are very euphemistic, but I understand that this is hopeless.

I think, what a retribution.

I have a very open view of life and death.

What is the point of everything I have now?So even if it turns into a pile of loess, it doesn't matter whether you are willing or not.

It would be nice if this day came sooner.Then I won't do any ridiculous revenge anymore, it's good to just live the rest of my life like that.

But after I met you and hurt you, this day came.

Now you face me with a cold face every day, you don't want to talk to me, you don't want to be touched by me.

Only when I'm irritated will I show a little expression.

I thought to myself, is there any way to make up for it.

I want to be nice to you, but I'm already dying, if you still have some remaining feelings for me, you will feel a little bit uncomfortable after I leave.

I don't want to be like this. I have already brought you too much pain. If a person is dead, I still want to make you sad.

I wish you were resentful of me, that way, maybe when you hear the news of my death, you just spit lightly and feel happy all over your body.

But you are just too stupid.

I imagined a lot of things, but I still don't know how you would react if I died.

I want to make you sad, because you are sad for me, but I don't want you to be sad.

I think, just let you never know.

When I treat you this way, you'll always want to leave.

When there is a suitable opportunity, I will send you to a place far, far away. You will definitely not come back to see me. Therefore, we can spend the next days separately like this thousands of miles apart.

That's fine too, isn't it?

It would be great if you leave me and live a new life. You are still so young and deserve the best. I am the one who drags you down.

I'm still too selfish to want to keep you by my side longer.

I'm glad you stayed with me.

But you are not happy.

I dare not ask you again, what kind of attitude you have towards me, I really can't bear your answer.

I'm still a coward.

I define your thinking by my own.

But he dared not check it out for himself.

Anyway, I'm going to die. Before I die, let me lie to myself one last time.

You still like me.

But I hope you don't like me anymore.

I hope that my existence will be erased from your life, never to be recalled again.

I'm sorry.

But there is no chance to apologize to you.

Anyway, I've never been a gentleman, so it doesn't matter.

What kind of person I am to outsiders, I am what kind of person I am.

As for what I am in your eyes, I would rather never know.

I still remember the first time I saw you, you took the microphone on the stage, stood up straight in formal attire, smiled at the people in the audience, and said your name was He Yi.

There's really nothing special about this scene.

But I still can't forget.

The author has something to say: Sorry, I fell asleep yesterday orz