The evil spirits all over the world love me very much [Quick Transmigration]

"This... is Ruoting's token?"

Yu He looked at the items in the glass cabinet, a little surprised and a little disgusted.

"Yes." Yin Chixue nodded.

Yu He has seen jade pendants or hairpins as tokens before, and wedding dresses as tokens, but to be honest...

But it was the first time he had seen an umbilical cord as a token!Sure enough, if you live for a long time, you can meet all kinds of wonderful things.

"Ruo Ting was originally simple and innocent, but he suffered such catastrophe when he grew up, so he probably misses the days when he was in his mother's womb." Yin Chixue explained in a serious manner.

"To be honest, it's disgusting." Yu He replied straightforwardly.

"You used to have it too." Yin Chixue glared at him.

"Senior, I still don't understand where we are." Shao Mingmin was still looking around, but his mouth was not idle, he was chewing the potato chips he just bought from the supermarket.

Yu He pondered for a moment, turned his head, and patted Shao Mingmin's shoulder pretending to be sad:

"Pang, do you want to go back 1000 years ago?"

"Huh? To be honest, I don't really think about it." Shao Mingmin licked his fingers, "There are no mobile phones or wireless networks, and the beautiful girls belong to the emperor. I don't want to go back to 1000 years ago."

"But, it's up to you now." Yu He let out a long sigh as he spoke.

Shao Mingmin hadn't reacted yet, and thought that his senior, who was usually not very bright, would act again.

"Okay, before I go back, I still have to remind you." Yin Chixue took out the box containing the umbilical cord from the cabinet and opened it.

"You can't change history. Also, protect Mingmin."

As he said that, he put the box in Yu He's hand: "Open it, you need to touch the token to channel yourself to the world."

"Damn it! I don't believe it! You didn't let me hold the wedding dress last time. I think you really want to disgust me!"

Yin Chixue tilted her head: "Ah, did you see it?"

While speaking, the room suddenly began to vibrate violently.

Fatty held his potato chips and staggered left and right: "Senior! There's an earthquake!"

Then, everything around him began to deform, as if the whole world had fallen into chaos.

"Senior! Could this be the Earthquake Experience Hall?"

"Senior! It's so exciting! I want to experience the tsunami in a while."

"Senior, I'm a little dizzy... I feel like vomiting... I want to eat something sour..."

---------

The reason why she agreed to Ruoting's request to die with honor is because of that portrait.

It is undeniable that because of Yin Chixue's extraordinary appearance, she really has a good impression of him.

It really is a knife on the head of Sezi, hey.

When Yu He opened his eyes, a flash of bright light hit him, making him unable to open his eyes.

But I will still think excitedly in advance:

Am I dressed like an emperor?Doesn't that mean that all three thousand beauties in the harem belong to me alone, including that alluring slut Yin Chixue, who also has to be included in the harem, and if the soft ones are not good enough, come hard ones, hehe, beautiful, let him bully me.

"Oh...it hurts to death..."

Just as Yu He was dreaming of the Spring and Autumn Dream that he hugged left and right, a painful moan from the side interrupted his thoughts.

Yu He managed to open his eyes after getting used to the strong light, and sat up——

Fuck!what's the situation!Why is there a row of men lying next to them, and there are bloodstains on all the sheets!

Yu He rubbed his eyes, then looked up at the house number.

net!body!house!

Why the hell is it a eunuch? Is there something wrong with Yin Chixue, who kills thousands of swords?

Yu He quickly lifted off the quilt on his body, took off his pants and looked——

It's okay, it's still there.

At this time, there was a strange sound from outside the door: "Have you done everything the miscellaneous family asked you to do?"

Another yin and yang voice came: "Elder-in-law, don't worry about the little things, there will never be any mistakes."

"Hmph, you are clever."

It's over, the legendary chief eunuch is coming in. According to the general procedure, he must first check everyone's lower body, make sure it's clean, and then bring it to the room to pick the right ones and send them to different palaces to serve the master.

Yu He looked around, thinking about how to escape.

The door opened—

He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, praying in his heart that Yin Chixue could be a person this time.

Immediately afterwards, a big eunuch dressed in flashy clothes walked in with two young puppies.

"How many people have entered the palace?" The eunuch looked like a gorilla with blush, big nostrils, and a square face, really scary.

"If you go back to your father-in-law, there are 18 people in total, and they are all here."

The father-in-law flicked his fly whisk: "Let the miscellaneous family take a look."

The little eunuch got the order and immediately lifted the first person's quilt.

The three of them gathered around the lower body of the "Lucky Goose" and observed carefully, and said, "Well, it's okay."

Then, start checking the next person.

Yu He's nervous heart is jumping up to his throat now, what to do with this, what if they find out that he has not yet become a hermaphrodite, and directly chop him up in a rage.

Thinking about it, Yu He only felt a sharp pain.

"Huh?" There was an uncomfortable sound from Yin Yang.

The father-in-law seemed to have discovered something extraordinary, so he called the other two to watch.

"I'm afraid this is not done cleanly." The father-in-law twisted his waist, "Bring a knife and a candle to the miscellaneous family, and the miscellaneous family will show you in person."

One of the young ladies, who was a bit clever, listened and immediately took what the father-in-law asked for from the side, and Yu He admired her dog-legged appearance.

The father-in-law pointed at the orchid and burned it with a candle to sterilize it with a knife. The other two young eunuchs surrounded him closely, for fear of missing any details.

The father-in-law gestured twice, and then slammed the knife down.

In an instant, the screams pierced through the clouds, disturbing the birds perched on the branches, they flapped their wings and fled in panic.

Yu He sucked in a breath of air, and shook his hands into sieves.

Mom, it's too bad.

Yu He opened one eye and looked at the three eunuchs who were still cleaning up, and quickly sat up from the couch. He looked at the lucky goose opposite him who had passed out, and while the three were not paying attention, he got off the couch, She sneaked up to him quietly, picked him up with all her strength, and put him on her bed.

Then, like a thief, Yu He tiptoed to the side of that person's bed, lay down on the bed in fear, covered the quilt and continued to pretend to be dead.

He could even hear his own heartbeat like thunder.

After the eunuchs checked, the father-in-law twisted his water snake waist and walked to the door: "Okay, it's almost there. After they wake up, bring them all to the supervisor of ceremonies. The miscellaneous family will choose by themselves."

Listening to the father-in-law's tone of turning eighteen turns in one sentence, Yu He was really about to vomit, and could only silently hope in his heart that he would leave quickly and stop scorching his eyes here.

Yu He had only seen the Forbidden City in Beijing before, but the renovated Forbidden City is somewhat less interesting.

But this time, he actually saw the real palace.

Magnificent and luxurious, the rows of little maids in skirts are so cute that people can't help but want to touch them.

But it's annoying that none of them belong to me.

There was a row of new eunuchs who had not recovered from their injuries kneeling in front of the Prison of Rituals, and Yu He was among them, looking down at the floor tiles in a daze.

Hearing that the chief steward had finished reading the palace rules longer than the heavenly book, Yu He was now itchy all over his body stimulated by his voice, and couldn't help scratching twice.

However, eunuchs are also good, eunuchs can directly contact the emperor and the others, and they can also enjoy watching those plump and beautiful concubines.

But the reputation is rotten.

It's the father-in-law's turn to give the name, and the father-in-law is also very simple and rude, as long as he arranges them in order of longevity and well-being, fame and wealth, wealth in all directions, and happiness in all directions, it can be said that he is very carefree.

Yu He received the name "Xiao Lizi", which sounded like Xiao Lizi.

Damn, it's kind of cute.

"Serving these nobles in the palace, the most important thing is to be clever, smart-mouthed, able to come up with things, obey the rules, and make them happy, and you can climb up. Although we have no sex, we still need ambition. "

Yu He's inner OS: Thank you, I don't want to use my ambition to be a eunuch.

"Do you think so~"

Those poor people who had just lost their lives and were almost speechless in pain had no choice but to say "yes" feebly.

Only Yu He shouted angrily, "Yes!"

At this moment, he suddenly came out immediately.

The father-in-law in charge looked at him with a slightly surprised expression.

This is rather strange, it is the first time he has come across such a person who has just cleared his roots and is alive and well in these years in the Supervisor of Rituals. Yes, he is a talent, if he can be cultivated into his confidant and sent to the emperor——

In fact, Yu He didn't yell to get his attention, but just vented his dissatisfaction after kneeling in the ice and snow for too long and panicked.

"Little Lizi?" The eunuch covered his mouth and looked at him with a smile, "raise your head for the miscellaneous family to see."

Yu He took a deep breath, rolled his eyes, then raised his head with a pretentious smile.

"Hey! You look really juicy!" The manager said in surprise, his mouth became a heart-shaped smile.

Yu He thought in his heart that I am not happy at all being praised by someone like you.

"It's you." The manager's father-in-law flicked his whisk and pointed at Yu He.

Yu He was still circled there.

I?me what?

"Go and tidy up immediately, and report to the emperor with me first."

Yu He:? ? ?

Although he didn't understand what happened, Yu He had no choice but to stand up and timidly followed the manager to leave.

"When I meet the emperor in a while, you must be smart enough to say what to say and what not to say. You should weigh it before you speak. In this palace, if you say a wrong sentence, it will be a serious crime..."

Along the way, the chief eunuch hesitated and buzzed in Yu He's ears like a fly, and Yu He could only listen to his nonsense patiently, but what he thought in his head was:

What about Mingmin?Could it have become a hermaphrodite and sent to another palace?

That's really sad hahaha.

Just as he was thinking, Yu He seemed to vaguely feel the stone brick under his feet tremble twice.

The full-winged bird on the branch next to it was dozing off with its body curled up and its head tilted. Suddenly, it was awakened by the slight shock. It looked down at the tree with its small bean-like eyes, and then flapped its wings in horror. gone.

Yu He looked up along the slightly trembling stone bricks, and before he could see the scene in front of him clearly, the chief eunuch bowed his waist and bowed in a big salute:

"I have seen Her Royal Highness."

When Yu He heard it——

Princess? !

When mentioning princesses, I always think of the charming, lively and cheerful little beauties in TV dramas. After all, the emperor's old son married more beautiful daughters-in-law, and the genes of the princesses and princes are naturally not bad. .

Yu He's disheartened little heart began to be dishonest again.

Hehehe, I don't want to be the emperor's personal eunuch, I want to follow the princess.

Thinking about it, Yu He couldn't wait to raise his head, wanting to see the beauty of the princess——

But after looking at the princess with full expectation, Yu He meditated in his heart: the evil spirits will disperse, the evil spirits will disperse.

This is not a princess at all, it must be the reincarnation of a monster.

Leaving aside her exaggerated figure of more than 200 kilograms, just that face, it is obvious that this is Shao Mingmin, and she is even fatter than the real Shao Mingmin.

The princess was wearing a cape of size XXXXL, and she was panting from exhaustion within two steps.

Yu He observed Shao Mingmin nonchalantly, no, Her Royal Highness's big belly, when she breathed, that big belly would rise and fall violently.

Seeing that Yu He's mouth looked as if it had been sewn shut, the chief manager couldn't help pinching Yu He quietly from behind, and said, "Kneel down."

No, I won't do it!

"Your Highness, this is a newcomer who has just entered the palace. I am not sensible. I hope you don't blame me for offending you." The father-in-law glared at Yu He, and then apologized to the princess like a dog.

The little chubby princess mixed her hands together, her face was reddish, and she whispered: "That's all, it's okay."

After saying that, the father-in-law forcefully pushed Yu He to the ground and said, "Miscellaneous family doesn't care about your temperament, you must kneel when you see the princess today."

Even though the father-in-law was over half a hundred years old, his hands were not weak, and Yu He was humiliated and pushed to the ground with almost no struggle.

The little fat princess subconsciously took two steps back, lowered her head, and didn't dare to speak.

After the princess left, the father-in-law pulled up Yu He who was still lying on the ground in humiliation, glared at him, and said in a low voice:

"Although this Princess Mingmin is not favored, it's not your turn to commit crimes. Thanks to the kindness of the princess, otherwise today's punishment will be settled for you."

Regardless of whether it was born by the queen or by the most favored concubine, it is impossible for Princess Mingmin to be favored because of the appearance of human civilization after all.

Yu He thought in embarrassment.

But now this is not the point, the point is how can I meet Prince Ruoting, and then tell him by ear to tell him to cut off all those imperial brothers immediately.

The two continued to walk forward, and before they had taken a few steps, they saw a group of people hugging each other from a distance.

In the middle is a woman wearing a crimson dress with sleeves. I haven't seen her face clearly yet, but Yu He can already feel her grace and luxury reflected by her jeweled aura.

"That is the most favored concubine at the moment, Concubine Yu, who is also the biological mother of His Highness the Crown Prince. You can stare at me and kneel quickly when you see her. This empress will not be offended."

Wow!It's the prince's mother.

Thinking about it, Yu He followed his father-in-law and took small steps forward quickly.

It wasn't until Yu He got closer and saw the noble concubine's appearance clearly that he understood why she was so favored and why Ruo Ting was still named the crown prince even though he was a concubine.

How should I describe it, it's like a bright moon in the sky in the lost wilderness.

Even now, the appearance is still very capable.

She is holding up her skirt and quietly watching the snow scene in the imperial garden. She looks very young, and her face is as white and tender as an egg that has been peeled off its shell. If you say that she is already a mother of a big child, no one will believe it. .

"Your Majesty, it's so cold, you still have the pleasure to come out to enjoy the scenery." The manager's father-in-law hurried forward to say hello.

Concubine Yu slowly turned her head, her almond eyes looked up and down the two.

Yu He's inner OS: I am so happy to be an emperor, to be able to face such a beautiful girl every day.

"It was too stuffy in the house, so I went out for a walk. I happened to pass by the Imperial Garden. I remembered the frozen pears hidden here a few days ago, so I came to see if they were frozen."

Concubine Yu smiled, her beautiful eyes narrowed into a crescent shape, even against the crimson cloak, her red lips were still abruptly gorgeous.

I seem to have heard Ruoting say before that his mother and concubine lived in the Northeast area when he was a child. When he was 15 years old, he traveled thousands of miles to enter the palace for an audition. He was caught by the 16-year-old little emperor. He heard that when he was in the Northeast, he was a famous beauty with a radius of hundreds of miles. , the background is not particularly good, she is a concubine daughter of a small official family like a county magistrate or something, but she has won the emperor's favor because of her extraordinary appearance.

Later, after encountering an accident and being thrown into the cold palace, I often sighed that it would be great if I could taste the frozen pears from my hometown again.

Calculated in this way, Concubine Yu is not particularly old, she only looks like 36.

But she looks like a little girl in her early twenties.

Concubine Yu took the small shovel from the hand of the maid beside her, and squatted down to shovel the frozen snow on the ground bit by bit.

Yu He looked at her, really wanted to have a snowball fight with her...

Not long after, Concubine Yu dug out a few pears that had turned light brown from the snowdrift, wiped off the snow water on them, and when she turned her head, she saw Yu He staring at her expectantly with a pair of big eyes.

Concubine Yu looked at him, smiled, and asked, "Are you new to the palace?"

Yu He hurriedly regained his senses, nodded his head like a catfish: "Yes, yes, yes, the slave is new."

"Then have you ever tasted frozen pears from Northeast China?"

Yu He thought about it. He had never eaten real frozen pears, but his aunt used to stockpile a bunch of fruits in the freezer every time there was a big sale, but she forgot to eat them and just gave away the fresh peaches. It became a frozen peach that even the pulp became like an old popsicle ice cream.

Seeing Yu He's slow response, Concubine Yu thought he was shy, so she touched a pear and handed it over:

"It's a rare snow season here, and it will be the beginning of spring in a few days. If you want to eat this frozen pear, you won't be able to eat it anymore. Let's try it."

Yu He stared blankly at the frozen pear in Concubine Yu's hand, wondering if he should take it or not.

The manager's father-in-law pinched him from behind, and said with a smirk: "Hurry up and thank your mother."

When Yu He heard it, he quickly took the frozen pear, and said like he did in the TV series: "Thank you, Madam, for the reward."

Reluctantly bidding farewell to Concubine Yu, Yu He followed his father-in-law to the imperial study, holding the pear that seemed to carry her fragrance.

After standing at the door for a long time, after the eunuch who was serving the emperor reported, Yu He followed the chief manager into the legendary imperial study.

I thought that the emperor was probably as ugly and fat as in the portrait, but unexpectedly, he was a good-looking little uncle who looked only in his thirties.

To say he is an uncle is a bit old.

The emperor was annoyed because he could only look at the servant girl's fat little white hand but couldn't touch it, and when he saw the eunuch in charge who was neither human nor ghost, he immediately became angry and threw the bag in his hand, scolded:

"Didn't I say that there is no shortage of eunuchs by my side! Send them to the empress's womb, don't come in my eyes!"

When Yu He heard it, he was ecstatic: Yes, yes, that's it, I want to follow the prince.

"Return to the Holy One, you don't know something, this kid is very clever."

clever?Are you smart?Why don't I know.

Yu He could see that the eunuch sent himself to the emperor not to please him, but to put himself as an eyeliner by the emperor's side.

Yu He remembered that Ruoting once said that the father-in-law who is the chief inspector of ceremonies is not a good person, he seems to be in the same group as Concubine Xi Shu, saying that the emperor was poisoned to death in the end, and the younger brother Ruoting succeeded him , that is, Concubine Shu’s son, fifth prince Ruo’an, the first thing this kid does after succeeding to the throne is to make all his brothers kings, and drive them to those remote areas where the birds don’t shit, and he randomly finds a prince What reason to kill.

That being the case, it doesn't matter to the emperor whether he is clever or not, what matters is how to please the dead eunuch so that he can confide in himself.

Could this be the legendary anti-faking loyalty?

But the emperor didn't care whether the kid was smart or not, what he wanted was a white, tender and juicy maid, not these hermaphrodites who talked with their voices squeezed every day.

"Your majesty, the young one can recite poems, compose fu, play chess, calligraphy and painting everything. He can also accompany the emperor to look at the stars and the moon. From poems and songs to chat about life ideals, he can warm the bed and move bricks. It is a must-have for home travel." Why don't you think about the two candidates?" Yu He also began to sell himself.

"May I let you speak?" The emperor raised his sword eyebrows, glaring at Yu He and questioned.

When Yu He heard this, his heart felt bad, he quickly knelt and moved back twice, lowering his head.

I'd better speak carefully, after all, this is a group of law-blind people who dragged people out and cut them down at every turn.

The emperor pondered for a moment, and seemed to feel that he was a little rude, and his tone softened: "You said you can recite poems and compose poems?"

When Yu He heard that he thought it was a game, he nodded quickly, "Although I can't say I'm proficient, I know a little bit about it."

Nonsense, do you think that the three hundred capitals of Tang poems you recited in elementary school are fun?It's okay to take the test.

"In that case, I will test you."

The emperor walked to the bed with his hands behind his back, looked at the white snow outside the window, and said with a smile: "Then you can write a poem with the theme of snow, and if you do well, I will keep you here."

Yu He wiped off his cold sweat, and began to recall in his mind the ancient poems related to snow that he had memorized when he was a child.

Got it!

"The Jumang palace tree has already bloomed first, and Zhu Ruiqiong's flower bucket is cut; the scattered trees are snowing tonight, and the spring will come soon."

This is "Snow" written by Han Yu, a poet of the Tang Dynasty. It coincides with the occasion, and Yu He is really proud of his super strong memory.

The father-in-law who was in charge at the side also looked at him with relief, nodding his head in praise.

Unexpectedly, the emperor suddenly changed his face and burst into anger: "It's a good sentence, Zhu Ruiqiong's flower bucket tailoring, how can the matter of the harem be discussed casually by servants like you?"

Yu He: WTF? ? ?How did this gangster connect this poem with the harem struggle?

In the blink of an eye, Yu He suddenly thought that the so-called "Zhu Ruiqionghua" does not just mean the beauties of the harem, and the tailoring is not just implying those things that are open and secret?

The author has something to say: Everyone must pay attention to safety, pay attention to hygiene, wash hands frequently, open windows for ventilation is very important, do not go to crowded places, drink plenty of hot water, do not believe in rumors and do not spread rumors, believe in the domestic medical system, believe in the country, Let's tide over the difficulties together, come on, okay.