Contemporaries

1.

My name is Mo, I am 18 years old, female.

When I was about 15 years old, I determined that I was different from others, because I didn't like girls, but boys.I feel like this feeling is infused in my blood, and I can't peel him off.

Since I was very young, I have found that I am different from other people. The children around me will be a little bit concerned or shy when facing their own sex, but I don’t. The children around me like to be ordinary friends with the opposite sex, but I can’t do it. I realized that because of this relationship, I didn’t make a single friend, but what made me clearly realize that I like boys was after I met a guy at school. His name was A Yi, and he was a very clean and smart boy. .

I have two dads who are very much in love, free love, not paired.

I sometimes feel that there seems to be something wrong in our world, but I don't know what is wrong.I like boys, and I haven't told anyone about it, because this secret cannot be told, and it will never be accepted by the world.I also don't want to irritate my two dads whom I love dearly.

In our world, from a long time ago, only the same sex can be together, and the opposite sex can never be together.Because the opposite sex cannot have children together, and the world does not recognize the opposite sex together. It has not recognized it since the beginning of history. There are no people in the same situation as me. If my secret is discovered by others, it may be regarded as a monster.

When I was sitting in the classroom and playing with my mobile phone, the browser popped up lace news, someone posted some prohibited articles on the Internet promoting heterosexuality, and it seemed that they were arrested by the General Prosecutor's Office.In the eyes of the world, articles that are prohibited like that are like gossip.But I was very curious, so I began to secretly look for such articles to read, sneaky, in fact, it is said to be banned, and I can find it if I search carefully. In fact, if it is not for this news, I may not have such great curiosity. .

When I raised my head, I saw Ayi who was sitting at the other end of the classroom. His hair was silver-white, which was the color he was born with. Among all the human beings I knew, he was the only one with such beautiful hair. He The skin is very fair, tall, thin, and the eyes are very beautiful, the kind of bottomless beauty.

I was so engrossed in watching it that when the teacher called me up to answer the question, I couldn't utter a single word.Later, the teacher called A Yi's name, and I saw him stand up, and said the standard answer very indifferently.

He... is very smart and has always been the number one in the school.It may also be because he is very smart, so he usually reads books, and I have never seen him go out to play with other friends.Every time I saw him, it was that expressionless face.

In fact... he is also very lonely.

I... actually want to go over and talk to him, even a few words.

I met Ayi when I was 15 years old. When the freshmen reported that day, when my father sent me to school, he kept smiling and said that he hoped that I could find a girlfriend in the new school.

However, the moment I walked into the classroom and saw Ah Yi standing by the window in the empty classroom, I knew that I would never get a girlfriend in my life.

2.

I have thought many times, it would be nice if I were a boy, not because I hate wearing skirts, growing long hair, and my female body, but because, if I were a boy, I would I can go over and confess to him openly, maybe he won't like me, but at least my confession won't be regarded as a monster.

It's just, there is no possibility, I am a girl, he is a boy, and in this world we live in, boys and girls cannot be together.

After school, he hasn't left yet, he's still packing his schoolbag, and I haven't left either, I'm pretending to pack my schoolbag.It has been like this for three years, he always likes to be the last one to leave the classroom, and I always like to leave the classroom behind him.After walking out of the school gate, I would pretend to walk in the opposite direction for a while, then cross the alley, turn to the way he went home, and just follow behind him, very far away.

It's silly to do the same thing every day, but I can't find any other way, just look at his back like this, at least, we are under the same blue sky, enjoying the same sunset.

In fact, I can be a little braver and go directly to him and say, hey, let's be friends.

On the day when the tracking number was 1099, when he passed through the alley again, he actually stood at the entrance of the alley and looked straight at me, asking, what do you want to do on the 1099th day?

Just looking at him, I felt my heart beating so badly that I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't say anything.

There is still no emotion in his eyes, if you don't say it, don't follow me in the future.

I... I... let's be friends.I finally said it, and I smiled instinctively, the kind of smile that avoids embarrassment.

Maybe it was a second, or half a second, or maybe it was my illusion, I saw him froze for a moment.

3.

On the 1099th day we met Ayi, we seemed to have become friends.

After I got home, I cheered myself up all night, thinking that starting tomorrow I could treat Ah Yi in a new way, and I felt unspeakably excited and a little... lonely.But this loneliness is irrelevant.

Then at night while reading Xiaojinwen, I fell asleep. In my dream, Ah Yi hugged me, that kind of long hug full of warmth.

On the 1100th day I met Ayi, when class was over, I took the textbook and pretended to ask for advice and ran to Ayi’s table to chat for a few days. He also took Ayi to go with him when he was in school, and he didn't have to follow him after school, but walked with him openly, and after sending him home, he went home happily.I feel that all my 18 years of shame have been used during this time.

Fortunately, Ah Yi is still lukewarm, and he is not particularly annoying.

I feel very happy every day. Although when chatting with Ayi, he sometimes said some words that I couldn’t understand. The main reason is that he read too many books, and I couldn’t understand those allusions, but it didn’t matter. , as long as it comes out of his mouth, it is interesting, even if it is a single word, it is also interesting.

Being with him like this, occasionally holding hands, hugging shoulders, talking, or just sitting together, standing together, walking together like this, are all happy and satisfied, that feeling is like a boring black and white Green shoots grew quietly in the world, little by little, full of vitality.

After a long time, I read a lot of small forbidden articles, and I began to quietly write some small things on the Internet and publish them anonymously.I don’t know why I want to write it, maybe it’s just to satisfy my obsession, because I like Ah Yi so much, so I bring the image of myself and Ah Yi into the story, and I can always be moved to a mess.

If you can keep doing this, you will be satisfied.

4.

On the day when the incident happened, I went to buy water for Ah Yi.When I ran back to the garden, Ah Yi was surrounded by four or five boys. I might have been a little frightened at the time, and my reaction was very slow. When those boys pushed Ah Yi to the ground, I ran over.

I yelled, what are you doing!rushed into the crowd.Ah Yi, who fell to the ground, was still expressionless, or rather numb.

A few boys looked at me very unhappy and said, don't hit women, tell me to fuck or something.

I just stood in front of Ah Yi and stared at them. I felt that if they made another move, I might pounce on them like a dog.

But those boys didn't do anything, instead they laughed one by one, they were talking.

How can you be friends with a pervert?At that time, you will not even know when you are raped.

I didn't understand what they were talking about, but the boys were still talking with a smile on their faces.

This guy is a pervert, and his two mothers are also perverts. One of his mothers likes men and has committed suicide, and the other is promiscuous, and both men and women can have sex.

He, like his mother, also likes the opposite sex.

Do you make friends with this kind of person?Do you want to be a pervert too?

In fact, I ignored their ugly words and didn't listen to anything, but that sentence, he... likes the opposite sex too... I feel like my heart is going to explode.

There was a crackling sound from behind, and when I realized it, Ah Yi had already punched the boy standing in front of me in the face.Several boys immediately surrounded him.

I feel like I must have been crazy at the time, I don't remember who I kicked in the leg, bitten in the hand, who pulled my hair, put my head on the ground and kicked me, But I didn't feel any pain at all, I was just a little worried that kicking Ah Yi with such a foot must be very painful.

There are still people swearing in my ears, such perverts, crazy women, etc., I can't hear them clearly.My vision became more and more blurred, I only saw that Ah Yi was still fighting with them, so many people were fighting with him, and I couldn't beat him alone...

Ah Yi seemed to be calling my name, he was calling my name.

Ah Mo!Ah Mo!

He called quite loudly, oh yes, this is the first time I heard him call my name in such a long time, so... so happy.

I really wanted to tell Ah Yi that I was so happy, but my mouth was full of sticky stuff and I couldn't say anything, so I could only smile reluctantly.

Ah Yi, it would be great if... I was a boy, then... I can protect you.

5.

When I woke up that day, I was in the hospital. I must not remember who sent me here. I asked my father beside me if anyone was sent to the hospital with me. My father said that the hospital notified him Come on, he didn't see anyone else when he came.

I didn't dare to ask any more questions.

Dad asked me why I was beaten like this, I just smiled and said, I met a robber.Dad may have seen something, but he didn't ask any further. I know that Dad and Dad love me very much, so there are some things that, maybe, I can't say for the rest of my life.Because, I love them too.

I stayed in the hospital for a week, and Ah Yi didn't have a phone, and I haven't been in touch with him, and he didn't come to see me.In fact, I am very worried about him. He must have been injured that day. I don’t know if he was well taken care of in the hospital, if anyone took care of him, and if those people troubled him later, I feel that every second, my mind is filled with When he thought of it, his heart felt like a knife gouged out. This week, he hardly slept much.

On the day my father agreed with me to go back to school, I had already restrained my emotions, but my father still said quietly that female colleges are not allowed to stay.

The dad on one side was a bit confused, so I quickly found another topic to muddle through.

I didn't know until I got to school that Ah Yi had been asking for leave and didn't come to school.Looking at the empty seat, I feel like my soul is gone.

So before school was over, I sneaked out of the campus over the wall and ran towards Ayi's house.

I don't know if Ah Yi is at home at this time, and I don't know if Ah Yi will be willing to see me, but he is all in my mind, and I feel that if I don't see him, I may go crazy.

After I rang his doorbell three times, the door finally opened.

On Ah Yi's fair face, there were patches of red bruises and bruises, and his usually beautiful eyes were full of fatigue, but when he saw me standing outside the door, he seemed silly. It's the same.

I may have run a bit in a hurry, maybe I was a little excited when I saw him, I felt my nose was sore, I don’t know if I was crying, but I feel that my vision is getting blurred, I hate this kind of not being able to see Ayi’s face clearly Feeling like this, I reached out and touched my eyes, and sure enough, I wiped the tears with my hands.

Why don't you come to school, why don't you come to see me, I've been waiting for you.

I think the voice I'm speaking at the moment is really ugly, not cute at all.

Ah Yi stretched out a hand and wiped the tears off my face. His hand was a bit cold, but his movements were very gentle.

There was the sound of the elevator in the corridor, and the sound of high heels crossing.Ah Yi seemed to react suddenly, pulled me into the room and closed the door.I looked at Ah Yi's flustered look, not knowing what was going on.

Ah Yi took me and hid in the closet in his room.Just as the closet door was closing, I heard the door opening from the living room.There were also the sounds of two women talking.One of them...may be Ah Yi's mother, what about the other one?

Footsteps approached Ayi's room, opened the door, closed it again, and said to another person in the living room, your son is not at home today?

Another person said, this is not just right, it is convenient for the two of us.

Hehe, your son is so beautiful, it's rare to come here, and I want to see him too.

You don't want to hit my son.

oh?Isn't he the same as you?Do men and women take it all?

The voices of the two people talking gradually disappeared after another closing door.I felt that Ah Yi had been holding my hand tightly, and that cold hand was wet.

The closet was dark, and I couldn't see Ah Yi's face clearly, but I felt Ah Yi's breath close at hand. He should be squatting in front of me, so when I stretched out my hand, I touched his shoulder.

In this small and claustrophobic space, we squatted tightly facing each other like this.I stretched out my arms to hug her, and Ayi's body seemed to be frozen in my arms.

I buried my face on Ah Yi's shoulder and whispered, Ah Yi, I like you.I like you, whether you think I'm a monster or not, and no matter what kind of person you are, I like you very much.If possible, would you... like me?

It seemed like a long time before I felt Ayi's hands embrace me, his profile brushed against my hair, and he said in a weak voice, can we really be together?

It was the first time I heard Ah Yi speak in such an unconfident tone, so cautious.I couldn't express the happiness and sadness in my heart, and my heart seemed to be blocked by something.

It seemed like I was crying again, but I heard very clearly that I said in the same faint voice, no matter what happens, I will not let go of your hand.I will, always love you.

I couldn't see Ah Yi's face, and Ah Yi couldn't see my face either. We could only feel each other's warmth on our chest and palm.In this dark closet, I feel that our love is just like the space in this closet, even if there is no sunlight, it is still extremely beautiful.