Someone check the water meter

The rain has not yet fallen, but the sky has lost the trace of the sun. The sky without clouds seems to be covered with a layer of lead color, and the air feels stuffy and hot, like a steamer.Wu Xiaoyu was the only one guarding the store today. It was Liu Cheng's turn to work in the store, but Liu Cheng suddenly called in the morning and said that the female ticket was sick. Today, she took the female ticket to see a doctor and asked for leave. .It's nothing to ask for leave, but Wu Xiaoyu, who was stuffed with a mouthful of dog food for no reason, felt very unhappy. Why can't a perfect person like him find a girlfriend?

A man, wearing a big T-shirt with the pattern of the anime JOJO, with a flat head and half fat, just pushed open the store door against the light.Seeing Wu Xiaoyu who was lying on the counter bored to death, he slapped him with his big, fleshy palm without even thinking about it: "Young Master, what's the matter, did you break up in love or did you get anal?"

"Fuck you! Fatty, get out!" Wu Xiaoyu changed his decadence just now and swung him aside.

The fat man in front of him is actually not that fat, but his face is more fleshy, and with the white T-shirt on, the inch-length cut looks even more fleshy.Wu Xiaoyu looks carefree, but he doesn't have many real friends. This fat man named Zhong Lidong can be said to be his most important buddy.The two happened to be in the same class when they were in elementary school, and after six years of dating, they went to the same junior high school, and then went their separate ways, but it happened that their homes were not far away.When Wu Xiaoyu was still working in a dessert shop, after an accidental encounter, the two of them chatted, and the enthusiasm returned to the past.How should I put it, Two-dimensional children are pure in nature.

"Oh, you have such a violent temper." Zhong Lidong has nothing else, the only thing he can take out is his soft personality and easy to bully.Otherwise, he wouldn't have survived Wu Xiaoyu's stormy period of hurting people and became his best friend.As early as a few years ago, he said that Wu Xiaoyu is a good person, but his mouth is too cheap and his temper is too violent. If you can survive all these, you will find that he is a person worthy of deep friendship.

Wu Xiaoyu didn't even bother to tell him, just picked up a piece of cardboard and threw it at the people who had already flung themselves on the ground: "The floor in my store is quite clean, please don't put the oil on your clothes."

"..." Boom, where did you get the oil from?These are obviously new clothes!He felt that it wasn't his delusion. Today's Wu Xiaoyu was full of desire and dissatisfaction: "Seriously, young master, do you have a problem with your relationship? Have you been confessed by a man?"

Eldest young master... Wu Xiaoyu has clearly told this dead house several times, don't use such a shameful name to call him that outside, but he can't save this person who has fallen into the two-dimensional quagmire.

"Let's talk, what's the matter?" Wu Xiaoyu thought she was invincible in killing people all over the world, but she still had no choice but to meet this person who didn't know what integrity was and had no sense of shame.Once the two of them were walking on the road, suddenly the fat man next to him made a gesture of lying on the ground and shouted such a shameful name as young master, Wu Xiaoyu was so frightened that he double jumped and hid ten meters away, but he still couldn't resist The surprised eyes of passers-by.At that time, he knew, don't fight this kind of person, you will never win.

Zhong Lidong ran to the counter and took out a halberd, and cried while eating: "I tell you, recently there has always been a man wearing women's clothes to seduce me, taking pictures of me and calling me husband! But I like girls Ah, I just went to see that An Da, you know? It’s a manga drawn by a man named An Da, who is famous for being a straight man, the kind who rejects all improper male-male relationships. As a result, heaven Abandon me, such a straight guy is actually a rot! So I need to come to you to find comfort."

It is worth mentioning that this man named Zhong Lidong is a very normal "straight man" who likes girls with small breasts.But I don't know why, I suddenly stepped into the trap of fake mothers and couldn't extricate myself. I often complained to Wu Xiaoyu, and there was that man who confessed to him, or was commensurate with a man and a husband and wife.couple!Wu Xiaoyu doesn't understand. You say that a good-looking person can call a man's husband without any pressure, and he keeps saying that he is a straight man.However, this person always uses reasons such as he is not very popular with girls and no one cares about him to explain his deep love for boys.

"Who said that you can sell rotten people according to your circumstances! Those people are obviously causing trouble! Why, if a man oppresses another man, there must be something wrong? Didn't you see that he was kidnapping someone! How can he be tied up if he is not oppressing that senior brother?" When Wu Xiaoyu said this, he looked upright and explained clearly.His eyes were clear, and he was not affected in the slightest by the current atmosphere of looking at everything.

Zhong Lidong was still biting the halberd in his mouth, but he couldn't help but opened his mouth wide, as if he was being illuminated by the radiance, and said for a while: "Oh my god, this is the real straight man!"

Wu Xiaoyu hummed, of course, are you kidding me?He decided, let's settle down with this person. From the previous signs, he is definitely a straight man like himself. How sad is it for such a straight and straight man to be said so?Although it’s not that Wu Xiaoyu dislikes homosexuality, in fact, from his point of view, if it doesn’t affect him, there’s nothing wrong with two men being together. Tell me, same-sex people can’t get married , but they can be consistent, how loyal and wonderful this is, many relationships between men and women are not as good.But I just can't imagine this kind of thing happening to me.

"By the way, will you come to the class reunion next week?" Fortunately, I still remember my main purpose.Wu Xiaoyu dropped out of junior high school, and the class monitor didn't have his contact information.The last time we chatted, we happened to be talking about Wu Xiaoyu, a classmate who was popular among girls at the time, and knew that Wu Xiaoyu had a relationship with Zhong Lidong, so Zhong Lidong was entrusted with the important task of inviting Wu Xiaoyu to join the classmate reunion .

This classmate association, Wu Xiaoyu has been on the Internet for so many years, and he probably knows a lot.Probably all kinds of parties to show off how you have been.Anyway, one by one is hypocritical and false, if they are doing well, they will show off, and if they are not doing well, they will laugh awkwardly with their tails between their legs.To be honest, he wasn't interested.His only buddy is right in front of him, he dropped out of junior high school, what the hell does he have to do with those people?Back then, so many girls liked me, even though everyone was young, but well, I still didn't know how many people hated me.Now I'm not doing well, of course, it's not bad either.Even with his eyes closed, he could predict what kind of scene would be waiting for him: "No, I'm not familiar with them."

I already knew that Wu Xiaoyu would say that. When Wu Xiaoyu was studying, he was not the type to get along with everyone. He looked carefree, but in fact, he was quite closed in his heart: "Don't be like this, let me tell you, Go to the art committee of our class! Just do me a favor! Just show up.” At that time, the art committee member of their class was not a pretty girl, but she was good at singing and dancing, and had a good personality, the most important thing What's more, she also watches anime, Zhong Lidong has liked her for a long time, and she was the one who brought up the idea of ​​calling Wu Xiaoyu together this time.

"You're just stupid, you're useless if I go." Wu Xiaoyu slapped Zhong Lidong on the head with a slap.If he remembered correctly, this art committee member was one of the girls who had a crush on him back then.He is one of the crushes who left a deep impression on him. The way of pursuit is too unrestrained. You can't imagine a girl using that kind of marker to write love letters all over a stool.

Hehehehe, Zhong Lidong wasn't annoyed either, he just kept giggling anyway.In the end, Wu Xiaoyu still couldn't bear the request of the only best friend, and agreed to go to that irritable classmate reunion.I went through the clothes I could wear in my mind a few times, and then reminded Zhong Lidong before he left: "Don't wear these weird clothes when you go to the class reunion, otherwise you deserve to be single, You can only spend your life with boys."

"..." Hey, so fierce~ He cried out aggrieved.

The author has something to say:

Hey, let me show you what a straight man is!The straight and straight kind!By the way, it feels a bit tiring to double-play == but I'm already planning to play three times, do you think... the title of an article like "My Old Gong Always Lives in a Fan" is attractive? 00