lure wolf into heart

Suiqian got the promise and stepped through the door without saying a word.He has always been a gentle, considerate and meticulous man, he understands that for Xu Ning now, silent company is better than chattering inquiries.

Xu Ning really didn't want to talk, he didn't let Sui Qian leave out of politeness, he didn't want to be alone.Even though Suiqian didn't say anything after entering the door, he was assured that someone would accompany him.

He went back to the original place and sat, his posture continued to be numb. Sui Qian stood at the door for a long time before coming over and sitting beside him.

The light in the room without the lights on was very dark, and their backs were statues standing side by side.Except for the occasional sound of Jelly biting the toy, there is no movement.

The low mood is mixed with breathing, and it hurts every time.Xu Ning wanted to cry but didn't. He suddenly realized that crying would never change anything.

He doesn't want to do anything that doesn't make sense.

Suiqian said slowly: "I usually drink some wine when I'm in a bad mood or when the manuscript gets stuck, do you want to try?"

Xu Ning shook his head: "I'm not very good at drinking."

"There's no way to say whether this thing is good or not, just swallow it," Sui Qian took out his mobile phone without refusing, "I'll ask my assistant to bring some over."

Xu Ning sniffed: "Teacher, I'm really fine."

Suiqian pressed the phone: "You like to be brave. I have seen it since the day I met you. You said you are fine. Forgive me for not believing it. You don't need to be sober now, you need to be confused."

"But being confused doesn't change the facts."

"It really can't," Sui Qian said with his head sideways, "but it can temporarily pull you out of reality and step over the critical point of sadness. Don't you want to be greedy for this moment of comfort?"

Xu Ning clasped his arms tightly: "I don't think I have the qualifications to feel better."

"That's because you didn't understand that all this happened is not your fault. You can be sad but you don't need to blame yourself."

What is an outsider, everyone other than yourself should be counted.No matter how hard he tries to empathize, there are always some details that he can’t understand. Xu Ning is very grateful that Sui Qian came to enlighten him when he was at his lowest ebb, but he felt that the shadow in his heart was bigger than the endless night outside the window.

His mother had an accident, he didn't blame the nurse who was supposed to be taking care of him every step of the way, and he didn't blame Lin Pengfei who forcibly detained him until he missed the visit time. He was blaming himself. He has walked into a dead end, no matter how others pull him, his refusal to go out is infinite resistance.

He blamed himself unreservedly, but he didn't dare to blame others.

The cowardice in Xu Ning's character began at the beginning of his growth.

He has a grumpy, gambling and alcoholic father. He spent his childhood in his father's beating, kicking and scolding, as if everything he did was wrong. Only by constantly being sensible can he minimize the pain of flesh and blood.After going to school, he was not as happy as other children. The rejection of his classmates was beyond his comprehension. He had to study hard to gain a little sense of existence, but there was still too much disgust thrown at him.

In such an atmosphere, he became less and less good at autonomy and resistance.For things that cannot be solved, he can only adopt the extreme method that can attract attention most effectively.

Only after he met Lin Pengfei did he realize that the way a person bravely says no is so dazzling.He regarded that young man with rascal spirit as his salvation. He became brave on the road of crazy pursuit. Because of Lin Pengfei, he found a different self. He thought he could have a love that would never wear out, until the love that had gone through thousands of sails. All kinds returned to zero.

All the way to the present, it was his kind and virtuous mother who made him understand what beauty is, but now this beauty no longer exists, and a certain light in his heart has gone out.

The two most important people in his life trajectory have been lost by him, and it is reasonable for him to feel hopeless.

Suiqian's assistant came up after more than 20 minutes and put the things down in a hurry.Suiqian got up, took the suitcase and sat back next to Xu Ning again. Concerned that Xu Ning didn't drink too much, he chose a few low-alcohol drinks.

He skillfully opened the bottle of wine and was about to pour it into the glass when Xu Ning blocked the mouth of the glass with his hand.He sighed: "If you really don't want to drink, don't..."

Xu Ning interrupted Suiqian with his movements. He took the bottle from Suiqian's hand, skipping the procedure of pouring it into the cup, and poured it directly into the mouth of the bottle.

Suiqian was frightened by his behavior, and hurried to grab the bottle: "That's not how you drink."

Xu Ning was so choked by the heavy-smelling liquid that he pursed his lips tightly. After carefully tasting the taste left in his mouth, he said, "I've drank this before, and it seems that it cost you money."

Suiqian didn't grab the bottle that Xu Ning was holding, but pulled out a new one from the box, opened the bottle to no avail, raised his head and took a sip, then smiled: "It's really the first time to drink like this." , I feel good."

Suiqian is a highly educated person. Xu Ning has always respected him. After so many unsuccessful attempts to change his words, he still thinks it is more suitable to be called a teacher, whether it is a gentleman's refined temperament or a gentle and jade-like personality. , this man is really worthy of these two words.

And such a literary master, who is sought after by thousands of people, is sitting on the floor of his living room, throwing away any etiquette to accompany him to drink, it is really against harmony, but it is also really warm.

"What are your plans?" Sui Qian asked, looking at the wine bottle in his hand.

"I want to go back to my hometown for a while," Xu Ning smiled wryly, "My current state is not suitable for causing trouble to anyone."

Suiqian nodded: "Alright, just remember to come back."

"Teacher, thank you for your long-term trust and tolerance. Being your editor is something I can boast for the rest of my life."

"Wait until you come back from your hometown to be my exclusive personal editor," Suiqian smiled sincerely, "Remember what I said is that you have to be resurrected with full blood to count."

When will he come back, and if he can come back, it is unknown to Xu Ning. He just wants to escape from this city, and he doesn't know whether it will be forever or temporarily.But for Suiqian's kind invitation, he still responded in obedience to the other party's wishes.

Xu Ning doesn't remember anything after that, he doesn't remember how much he drank, and he doesn't remember what he said to Suiqian.Drunk to death and slept all night, practically without dreams.

The fragmented feeling of waking up made him open his eyes in a dazed state, and he forced himself to recall the contents of last night, except for the shaking wine bottle and the throat captured by the spicy.

Xu Ning found Sui Qian who was still asleep on the sofa in the living room. The man was covered with his coat, his long legs could not be stretched and he could only curl up, looking extremely uncomfortable.

On the floor by the window are some rickety wine bottles, and the jelly with the bottle decoration belt on his body is very funny.

He first went back to the bedroom to get a thin quilt to cover Suiqian, and then fed Jelly.Turning around to wash, he stopped for a long time after passing by the guest bedroom and seeing the urn on the bed.

If the forgotten wound is suddenly poked open, the pain will spread rapidly, he really almost forgot, his mother is no longer there.What I am most afraid of is that at such an inadvertent moment, I thought that life could be sunny and carefree, but when I turned around, I found a tragedy that was almost forgotten.

"Xu Ning?"

Hearing Suiqian calling him, Xu Ning walked back to the living room: "Teacher, wake up. I drank too much last night. Didn't it make you feel uncomfortable? I'm causing you trouble."

"No, you fell asleep after drinking too much," Sui Qian sat up and folded the thin quilt on his body, "And you, you are no longer my editor, we are just friends who put aside work and have a simple relationship, Or, you don't want to be my friend at all."

"No," Xu Ning quickly denied, "I haven't."

Suiqian smiled and looked over: "Then don't call me teacher, let alone use the word you to me."

Such a young man, with the aura of the big brother next door, looked at Xu Ning sleepily, with an extremely friendly and patient expression on his face, waiting for the answer.

"Okay," Xu Ning nodded, and then asked, "Then I should call you, no, I should call... what are you?"

Suiqian smiled: "My surname is Yan, and I am six years older than you. You can call me Brother Yan from now on."

It was really uncomfortable for Xu Ning to say these two words. He tried to scream, but he felt that the voice was not from him, but Suiqian nodded very satisfied.

Xu Ning didn't cook the breakfast himself, but ordered takeaway instead.After eating grass with Sui Qiancao, he planned to go to work.

He is going to place his mother's ashes in a columbarium in the southern suburbs today. It's sad to think about it, he can't even afford a decent cemetery.

A funeral would be affordable, but he wasn't going to have one.

He has no relatives.After his father left home, half of his relatives disappeared, and after his mother was diagnosed with mental illness, the remaining half of his relatives also disappeared.He really didn't know if anyone would care about his mother leaving.

Suiqian wanted to accompany him to the columbarium, but he declined. He didn't want to take any more favors. After separating from Suiqian on the way, he took a bus and traveled about forty minutes to arrive The columbarium.

Xu Ning got in touch with the manager here when he came out of the funeral home yesterday. He arrived at the appointed time. After the reception, he chose a relatively quiet place to place the ashes in his arms according to the normal procedure.

After everything was settled, it was almost noon, and he came out against the sun and sat on the stone bench under the shade of the roadside trees for a long time before returning.Before he got up and walked far, a gray van brushed past him.

The traffic control in this remote suburb is loose, and there are often cases of driving the wrong way and turning back from the non-motorized lane. Xu Ning's indifference made the next situation more sudden.

The van didn't stop, but the door slammed open, and the two men who leaned out dragged him up at an extremely fast speed.

"What are you doing!"

The car door had slid and closed, and there were five big men sitting in the car besides the driver. As soon as Xu Ning yelled, someone punched him in the face.

When Xu Ning was first grabbed, he thought that it was Lin Pengfei who asked someone to get him back again, but the heavy punch on the face made him sober, and he was wrong in his judgment.

Lin Pengfei's people never dared to treat him like this.