ugly guest

The erhu was played in the funeral parlor, and the incense filled the air. Relatives all wore white mourning clothes to say goodbye to the corpse in the coffin. My mother dragged Liu Shuowang through the mourning hall and pushed him to the front of the coffin.

The relatives stroked his head, "This is Shuo Wang, it's unbelievable to grow up so big. Brother and sister, fortunately, you still have a child, otherwise how would you live in the future!"

"Sister Zhu, my condolences are in order, the younger son will not be lonely with you."

"That's right, sister, don't worry, he will definitely be as good as his brother in the future, Shuo Wang! You have to look up to Shuo Hai and win glory for your mother like a brother, you know?"

"Although your brother is gone physically, he will turn into an angel and accompany you to protect you."

Shuo Hai would not turn into an angel. Everyone gathered around their mother and son, comparing him with his elder brother. The mother said, "Say goodbye to your elder brother."

In front of so many people, what is there to say, why not invite an actor to act for everyone to see?He noticed that his father was standing quietly behind him, and Shuo Wang was pulled by his mother to kneel on the ground.

The relatives all closed their mouths, their faces were very sad, only his heart was pounding, and he said bravely: "Uh... I... I... that... that... I... I will give it to you." You are incense..."

With a "snap", Dad slapped him on the back, "Since you can't say it, cry."

"Xiao Wang, your brother passed away so badly, cry, it will feel better when you cry..."

"Yes, cry..."

"The child cried out..."

The more excited the erhu was, the more rigid his expression became... The corners of his mouth twitched, trying to laugh but unable to cry.

A strange voice broke in, and he was the only one who heard it: "Audience friends... Let's pay attention to the weather together... This morning..."

"Cry..."

"...The Central Meteorological Observatory issued... sunny and cloudy..."

"Cry quickly..."

"The weather is cooler..."

"Why don't you cry?!"

"...Do you want your brother to be unable to ascend to heaven in the next week's weather?..."

"Ah... you are all deaf! Someone is broadcasting the weather report! You didn't hear it!"

Liu Shuowang jumped out of bed, turned on the weather forecast on time at 1 o'clock in the morning, the sweet voice of the female anchor perfectly combined with his terrifying nightmare, it took a full minute for him to recover, and he rubbed his hair vigorously , "What the hell..." Turn off the TV, and then switch to the morning news station: "...First look at the current affairs news: NO.

I have to go to school at [-]:[-], and I rush to school like reincarnated at this time on weekdays. Today, there is a new head teacher, Liu Shuowang knows that this gap will definitely not be so strict, so he washes his face and brushes his teeth, and smiles in the mirror Laugh, um, very white!Too white.

I bought three steamed buns on the side of the road, "Good morning, Auntie."

"Hello, studying so late at night."

"Yes, can you help me separate the vegetable and meat buns and put them in the bag?"

"Okay." The aunt of the steamed stuffed bun shop separated him.

"Thank you. Goodbye, auntie." Liu Shuoyang gnawed on the steamed stuffed bun all the way to the school. The school gate had already been closed, so he walked in ostentatiously.

"What class are you in?"

"Class C."

"What's your name?" The guard took a pen to register his attendance and muttered, "The current students..."

Anyway, the dominatrix was replaced, and the new head teacher would definitely not care too much about being late, so he boldly told, "My name is Liu Shuowang." He had this intuition.

The corridor was quiet, passing by the corridor, students in other classes saw it and thought: Come to class so late? "Ah Ni, look at that person is Shuo Wang." "Really, he is more courageous than me? That kid wants to die." Ah Ni from Class D poked his head out of the classroom and called him twice, "Haha, We are waiting for the screams of you being hanged and beaten by a dominatrix."

Liu Shuowang stuck out his tongue at him, "I came so late just because she wasn't here, and I'm not stupid, the dominatrix has already been transferred to another school."

"Don't be complacent, you will be miserable if you are caught by the dean."

The teacher in class D came over, and Liu Shuowang ran away quickly.

"Why are you walking so fast?"

"Your teacher is here, idiot!"

"Wu Ni, why did your head grow outside the classroom?"

"Ah? Old... teacher... I have a headache, I twisted my neck... Wow!" He exaggeratedly called out, "It's much better after twisting, teacher, what are you doing with the ruler? Continue to teach, don't walk towards me Come here, I will kill..."

"Snapped!"

Liu Shuo heard Ah Ni's scream from afar, he is really a hero, eh!After class, he must praise that kid so much. He is in the same class as Wu Nian in the first year of high school. He has a wild personality, and he likes to make fun of others. No one admits defeat.

When he got to Class C, he went in silently from the back. When he was delivering test papers to the classroom yesterday, he accidentally saw the appearance of their new head teacher. He was tall, fair and clean, and he was very different from a dominatrix. He looked like he had just left the workplace. Xiaobai, if we can chat well and get along well, we will have more good days in the future.

"classmate!"

Liu Shuowang was stopped by the new class teacher, and looked at him with a pair of bright eyes, and shot straight... "Hello, teacher."

"What's your name."

"Liu Songling."

Laughter broke out in the quiet classroom for an instant.His name has a similar pronunciation to the author of "Strange Tales from a Liaozhai Studio", so he was nicknamed this by his classmates, and he said it out of his mouth when he was nervous.

The teacher frowned and asked him, "What?"

"It's not Liu Songling, it's Liu..."

"It's Liu Pusong." Huang Luo picked up his words and complained.

He stared at him, can you let me and Pu Songling go, cleared his throat, "My name is Liu Shuowang."

What he fantasizes is that when he sneaks to his seat in the morning and the new teacher calls him, he just finds an excuse to fool him. No new teacher will have trouble with the students. Everything that follows makes him disillusioned. .

"You come to the podium." The teacher said to him.

The students in the classroom all had weird expressions, and they all seemed to say "you are miserable", Jerry, who has always been gentle, showed him a thumbs up.What's wrong! ?

Huang Luo was slightly worried, pretending to be deep.

Throwing the schoolbag into his arms, "Put it away for me."

Walking across from the unfathomable new class teacher, he swallowed, "Excuse me, what am I doing here?"

"Where is the monitor of this class?" Ignoring Liu Shuowang's question, he looked around at the students in the classroom.

The classmates did not speak.

"Is there no monitor?" He continued to ask, but still no one answered, "Ms. Li immediately forgot the school rules after being transferred? Although I took over this class on the first day and I am not familiar with you, what I can tell you is , no matter who is the class teacher, you students must abide by these rules: first, respect the teacher. Second, strictly abide by the school rules."

Liu Shuowang began to sweat profusely. The situation was exactly the same as when the dominatrix was there. The new teacher felt very oppressive.Help... He asked the classmate sitting below for help with his eyes.

"Squad leader!" The teacher yelled again.

silence.

Then there was "to..." a mosquito-like voice squeezed out from between his teeth, Liu Shuowang smiled with his lips closed, opened his eyes wide, revealing starry eyes, and sincerely responded to the class teacher's "expectation" for him.

You are screwed.

This is the idea of ​​the students in the class.

"Are you the monitor?"

"Yes." She nodded awkwardly, her lips trembling.

Liu Shuowang felt the danger from the eyes of the new class teacher, "You have been late for an hour, and as the class monitor, you still don't follow the discipline. You can come to school at any time you want. The school is your place of entertainment?"

"I'm not feeling well..."

"Don't make excuses!" The new class teacher interrupted him, "I just said, a program that students who are late will praise, think about what you are going to praise."

"I have no talent, I know nothing."

Liu Shuowang answered quickly, and asked in his heart: Do you want to watch monkeys dance?I answered in my heart: No, I don’t want to.

"Teacher, he really doesn't know anything," Huang Luo helped him out, "He often suffers from stomach pains, and he may be late because he fell ill again today."

"It's very popular with classmates. If that's the case, you will come up to perform instead of him."

Huang Luo waved his hand, "Pretend I didn't say anything."

"Then, I'll sing a song." Liu Shuowang said.

"I don't want to be scared to death by you." Huang Luo shook his head, "Teacher, you can't let him sing, he's tone deaf."

"What do you mean?" She was speaking for him just now, but she changed her mind so quickly.

"It's true, teacher."

"It doesn't matter," said the new class teacher, "you can sing."

Liu Shuowang cleared his throat, took a big breath, choked on his own saliva when he sang, coughed for a long time, and found a step in embarrassment, "This song can only be sung well if you have spirit in your heart. The students stared at him dumbfounded.

He took another breath and shouted, "Motherland, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

"Oh my god." He covered his ears.

"I'm your pride woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

"You are a wolf!"

"You are so proud of me, I will never..."

"Enough, stop." The new head teacher quickly interrupted his voice.

Liu Shuowang tuned in, fearing that he would be punished again, he nodded his head heavily, and immediately apologized: "I won't be late next time."

"Write a self-criticism and hand it over to me after school." The new class teacher told him.

The teacher's name was written on the blackboard, and the word Jishan was printed on the blackboard forcefully. Liu Shuowang pondered, "Hmm..." How do you pronounce it?What is the word for?It should be Yuyu, that xie is just a symbol... "Thank you, Mr. Yuyu. I will seriously write a review."

The face of the new head teacher sank for a moment. He turned around and picked up the chalk to write the standard pinyin on the blackboard.

It's really funny, Mr. Cao Carp, Huang Luo covered his face, I really don't know if this guy is joking or really stupid.

"Sorry, I read it wrong." Liu Shuo wiped off the sweat on his brow hopelessly, and sat back in his seat. It was a day without any danger, and the dominatrix would come back soon.Turning over the textbook, he sighed deeply, and angered this teacher Ji!!