Before graduation, hold down the restless you

In the case of Teacher Gu

"A person's middle age is divided into two periods. The early stage is close to youth, and the late stage tends to twilight. In the early stage, we are still like summer, trying to exert ourselves, trying to win and struggle, and even greedily wanting to occupy all possible worlds. After that, it entered the next period, another state, consciously or unconsciously became calm, composed, and self-sufficient, and there was a sense of fulfillment, accomplishment, and security in self-sufficiency.” ——Feng Jicai

When I saw Yan He for the first time, I knew that he was not a worry-free child, reckless, casual, playful, stubborn and extreme, lacking the responsibility and stability that a good student in the traditional sense should have.

However, it's not about him.There are too many such children, throwing them in the sea of ​​people is no different.Gu Ze lacks enthusiasm for his job as a teacher. He has the responsibility of educating students, but he does not have the obligation to follow them closely.

Whether it is study or life, you always have to rely on yourself.

Gu Ze talked to him several times, telling the facts and reasoning.But the facts still prove that the vast majority of students are still unable to comprehend through enlightenment, and it is just a waste of both parties' time.

Since there is no result, over time, I no longer want to spend more time.

But after getting along for a long time, I gradually realized that although he was a naughty student, he was not the most naughty student.Just as snow and frost can't suppress the tender green sprouts in the soil, Yan He will often break through that thick shell, revealing his brilliance and ambition for the future.

Perhaps, he is still saved.With this in mind, Gu Ze tentatively encouraged him several times.

However, this little dog seemed to have been greatly favored, and he pursued him with all his heart and perseverance, wagging his tail behind him.Several times, looking at his shining Shiba Inu-like star eyes and that god-like expression, I couldn't bear to shut him out.

It's just a few times of loosening, but it seems to have become a habit.

Just a puppy that just popped into life, and that's okay.With the self-control and ability he is proud of, his orderly life, as well as his clear direction of life and principles of doing things will not be affected by this.

Until one day, he suddenly realized the little milk dog's thoughts on him, and the feeling at that moment was very subtle.

He does not reject homosexuality, Jiang Han does, and many of his friends do too.But it's one thing to see it, and quite another to actually have it happen to you.

I was tangled and confused for a while, but soon relieved.Adolescent boys lack mature or stereotyped love standards, irrational, and extremely emotional. It is an age that is full of hormones and uncertain about anything.

Pretend not to know, but it is impossible not to care.By the time he reacted, he had already become a solid shit-shoveling officer.It's like caring for a young child, as long as it doesn't involve a matter of principle, if he makes a mistake, he will block it for him. If he gets a demerit penalty because he went to bed too early and read the class, it is too worthless.

What pleased Gu Ze was that fortunately he was very popular and would not be involved in the fight, otherwise even if he wanted to cover up, there was no way to save him.

But not long after, Gu Ze discovered that Yan He was very popular, besides boys, there were also girls.During the sports meeting, when he saw a good-looking girl in the class hanging on him and laughing and playing, he couldn't tell what he felt.

It seems to be a kind of anger when he finds out that his cat is stealing fish, and it seems to be a kind of disappointment that his trust and expectations have been betrayed.He doesn't understand, it's just that it doesn't feel good anyway.

His mood improved that day because he helped him wash his clothes.But later, he never wore that shirt again, but he didn't understand the reason why he folded it neatly in the back of the closet.

Gu Ze got along with him for more than half a year, and then gradually realized that he actually liked him a little bit.It is not the same as the teacher's love for the students, but another kind.Even after seeing Yan He's naked body one day, he would subconsciously suffocate his breath, and those two legs were thin and straight.For several days in a row, I dreamed of that figure from the back.

Thinking that he is a boarding student, he might dangle around naked among the elders every day, his chest is congested, as if a fire is raging, and then he can't fall asleep.

Gu Ze asked Jiang Han this question in confusion, but the latter didn't care at all, and spread his hands loudly: "Do what you want."

After all, Jiang Han is a veteran in the field of love, maybe he should listen to his advice once.

But afterward, Gu Ze swore that it was the worst decision he had ever made in his life.At that time, he could have ended everything, so he didn't have to taste the so-called "jealousy", "sadness", "knowledge" and "pain".

Later, Yan He had a dispute with his father.

Looking at the lively deer, who was full of spirit and crying, Gu Zexin seemed to be crushed together, and agreed to let Yan He live in his home without hesitation.

Then things got out of hand.

Gu Ze never knew that there was a beast living under his rational shell.

He often worries that one day he will lose control of himself, and he will tear the pure and kind lamb in front of him into his stomach and eat it completely.But the lamb in front of him was still naively holding the exercise book, pointing at the topic, and asking him questions earnestly and hard, with an attitude of complete trust and admiration.

Every time he looked at him concentrating on calculations, and sometimes looked up and called him "Teacher Gu" with a smile, Gu Ze felt that he couldn't bear it anymore.

However, this little lamb is constantly challenging his bottom line without knowing it.

Towels and toothbrushes should be used together with him, pajamas should be the same as his, shampoo and shower gel should be used by him, and he should be careful of him sneaking into his bedroom with various excuses at night.

Gu Ze thought many times: How about eating him right away.

He likes himself so much, it's okay to eat.

But that voice of "Teacher Gu" brought him back to reality.

In the struggle between rationality and magic, rationality narrowly wins the upper hand.

One day, Yan He didn't return all night, and when he came back, he smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. Gu Ze felt funny and cute with his novelty but embarrassed appearance.

Instead of letting others teach him those rules, it is better to lead him.

Yan He, who was drunk, was fussy and stalking, and entered a certain stream of consciousness that killed Matt, and almost did all the things that he didn't dare to do normally at once.Crying and laughing on the sofa with his red face upturned, he would slowly rub against him like a docile kitten, cute and seductive.When he raised his head, he grabbed his neck.

Gu Ze stared at him for a few seconds, then leaned forward and kissed him.The man's lips were much softer and sweeter than expected, and he easily pried open his lips and teeth, and then drove straight in, entangled with his tongue.Even though the music in the bar was loud, he seemed to be able to hear the small sobs of the people below him.

His mouth is moist and soft, and it seems that a thin thread can be evoked when it is staggered occasionally.However, the momentary breath was only for a moment, and the next moment Gu Ze was crushed heavily, the tip of his tongue brushed against each of his teeth, pulling his tongue in and out like a viper, causing Yan He to tremble.

After waking up the next day, Yan He seemed to be drunk, and the two of them naturally kept silent about what happened that night.However, Gu Ze's heart was severely shaken. He was afraid that Yan He would remember, he was afraid that he would step down from the altar in his heart, and become a person who also had emotions and desires and plotted against his students.

Even if Yan He likes him, such behavior is wrong.

Maybe he should reflect on his behavior, restart his planned life, and move towards his clear goal.

He can no longer cross the line.

He accidentally got an opportunity to study in the United States. The study of psychology in the United States has always been much more advanced than that in China, which will also be of great help to his future creation.

But he didn't even want to eat the duck that was on his lips.As long as I think about my future life without Yan He, it will become boring to go anywhere.

The moment this cognition came out, he himself was frightened.Fortunately, he still has enough time to buffer for thinking and judgment.

The decision was not easy to make, but it was very simple.I casually listed the respective advantages of the two options on paper, and all the reasons undoubtedly favored going to the United States, which was clear and clear.

Gu Ze's loose heart finally became as hard and tall as a high wall.

It's just that when I presented the "Constitution" to Yan He and took away his dog chain and knife, my heart would unconsciously ache again.

When Mingli found him, his tone was almost questioning, and the way he gritted his teeth was full of disdain for being ashamed of him.Gu Ze remained calm and without any disturbance.The matter between him and Yan He never required outsider intervention.

When all the dust settled, he looked at Yan He with a calm expression, and then said indifferently and gentlemanly what he had been unable to say for a long time: "In a few days, on the weekend, you pack up and go back let's go home."

Yan He nodded mechanically, forgot to even say "good night", and closed the door with a "bang".

Then he stood silently at the door of Yan He's room all night.

Until dawn, he subconsciously touched his pocket, and the cigarettes inside were already empty.

It seemed that he couldn't feel his deliberate alienation. After a few days, Yan He and his father somehow moved to the upper floor of his house.

The college entrance examination is approaching, so you should ask the teacher more questions.

But seeing him earnestly concentrating and his cheeks blushing deliciously, Gu Ze became agitated for no reason.He was afraid that someone would take his place, he was afraid that Yan He would treat him as the same as other teachers, and he was afraid of himself who was so afraid now.

Yan He has never been a long-term lover, and he has never been passionate about someone he likes for only 3 minutes.He was afraid that Yan He's liking was just caused by his adolescent hormones.

By the time he realized what he had said, it was too late.The face of the person in front of him was pale, and he stumbled and ran out the door like clockwork.

Or just don't go.Gu Ze looked at the cigarette between his fingers and was a little dazed. He had never been addicted to cigarettes, but recently he seemed to be dependent on it.

After a while, he silently pinched the thoughts that just popped up, together with the sporadic fireworks, into the ashtray.

After dealing with everything here, Gu Ze found Jiang Han, and after successfully entrusting all the succulents to him, he didn't know where to go.

Until he received the text message with the photo: XX Hotel XX0X, 8 o'clock in the evening, Mr. Gu, if you don't come, I will jump off.

The dialed phone has been turned off.Gu Ze anxiously honked the horn on the road, the fear in his heart gradually spread in his heart like ink drops on rice paper.

Arrived almost an hour late.

At the front desk is an inflexible little girl who dully insists that only tenants are allowed in.

Gu Ze walked quickly to the side and picked up the front desk manager's business card.The finger that was about to dial the number paused in the air, and he opened the first line on the interface, paying special attention to the Weibo an hour ago.

-

Yan He:

I'm gay, I'm giaogiao, arrange! [dog head][dog head][dog head]

(A screenshot of the chat history with Gu Ze is attached, as well as a picture of a large bunch of beautiful roses.)

-

The man in front of him who was still in a hurry just now seemed to be out of breath, and the girl at the front desk thought he had a heart attack, so she hurriedly brought him a cup of hot water, as if she was about to cry .

Gu Ze shook his head, rubbing his temples as if feeling very uncomfortable.

After a while, his face returned to normal: "I'll call your manager, and you can open a room for me."

The [-] kinds of tortures that were originally conceived were not willing to be carried out, and when I opened the door, I saw the man sleeping on the sofa peacefully and sweetly.

There is also a large bouquet of roses by the table.

Although he really wanted to shake him awake by grabbing his collar, he was silent for a moment, but finally Gu Ze smiled helplessly, walked to him and squatted down.Hands ran along his soft hair, gradually drawn to his trembling eyelashes, and then to the high bridge of the nose... Gu Ze gently pressed his naturally puffed mouth with his fingertips.

Facing this person, he really had nothing to do.

When leaving, he told the little girl not to say that he had been there.The little girl blushed and swore to agree.

When he received the call from Yan He, he returned to Jiang Han's shop.

Those words pierced his heart like a knife, and he couldn't breathe from the pain. There were times when he wanted to blurt out "no".But when he saw his own airline ticket on the bar, he shut his mouth hard again.

It doesn't matter if you hate him, hate is always easier to let go than love.

Perhaps, this ending is also a relief for him.

But he never expected that Yan He would find Gra`vity.

The man was clumsy, carefully concealing his heartache, and sat stiffly in the crowd, like a cute big dog that had run away from home.

His heart began to ache again, an emotion he had never experienced before.In the end, he was overwhelmed and took the lead to escape from this suffocating place.Maybe he should go to the United States earlier, he can't stay in this place for a minute.

But still thinking about the man in the bar.

Yan He's condition is not good, I don't know if he can go home smoothly.

Thinking of this, Gu Ze dialed Jiang Han's number: "Hello, Jiang Han."

There was a lot of noise on the other end of the phone. After a while, he finally moved to a clean place. His voice sounded slightly drunk: "Why are you leaving so quickly?"

Gu Ze rubbed his temples: "Help me take care of Yan He."

There was a murmur on the other end of the phone, and then Jiang Han yelled loudly: "Is there a man in a suit at the door?"

For some reason, Gu Ze always felt a little worried, but it was safe to come to Jiang Han to do business: "Yes, I'm sorry to trouble you."

"It's okay, hehe, just remember to introduce me to the handsome guy of Niaoda." Jiang Han said nonchalantly, and then hung up the phone.

Jiang Han leaned on the sofa, dizzy and drowsy, greeted a few brothers who were better at playing, and successfully conveyed Gu Ze's meaning: "Go, help Gu Ze take care of the little brother over there."

The leader glanced at the cautious Yan He, waved to the men around him very clearly, and laughed loudly: "Okay, let's go! Let's 'take care of'!"