Before graduation, hold down the restless you

The school has not changed in general, a big stone engraved with "courage" is still lying in the haystack, a drunk pavilion that is so remote that no one cares about it but is particularly eye-catching and seductive in the promotional video, and a piece that is said to invite the 2008 Olympic team to come The refurbished playground, where the Stone Devils would guard whenever they had free time, watching and catching those who were eating snacks on the track.

The only thing that makes Yan He feel uncomfortable is that the large bathroom in the dormitory building has been replaced with a 24-hour hot water system that can be supplied by swiping a card.

Thinking of the days and nights when the water was cut off in winter at that time, he became angry.

Senior one students, alumni and teachers all went to the party to commemorate the 80th anniversary of the International, and only the classroom lights in the second and third grades were left bright.

There was silence on the campus, and all the noise was left outside the campus.

Sensing the approaching breath of the person beside him, Yan He uncomfortably avoided that person's gaze and looked around.

"What kind of person is your current lover?" Gu Ze asked after a few seconds of silence.

Yan He was stunned for a moment, before slowly recalling the non-existent "lover" that Gu Ze mentioned.

Somewhat guilty, he said bluntly and confidently: "You don't care."

The person beside him paused: "You still like me."

Yan He's eyes widened for a moment, and after realizing what he was saying, Qi's fingertips were trembling, and his eyes were a little red: "You, fart."

"When I went to your school, I met the secretary-general of the Youth League Committee of your college. It was a girl named Fan Jun. When I asked her, she said that you have no lover at all. You have never been in love since you were a freshman. .”

"..."

"Why do you lie?" Sensing the man's pressing step by step, Yan He couldn't help but take a step back, "If you really don't care at all, why do you do this?"

Gu Ze looked at him, his tone still soft: "You dare not admit it, because you still like me."

A person who is cornered is like a small animal that is forced into a corner and has nowhere to escape.The ferocious emotions spread to all parts of the body in an instant, Yan He pushed away Gu Ze who was getting closer and closer to him, like a desperate caged animal, he punched the man in the stomach in front of him.

Gu Ze staggered back a little, and fixedly looked at the extremely angry person in front of him.

"Don't you want to ask what kind of person he is?" Yan He sneered, his suppressed emotions seemed to be released.

He stared straight at the person in front of him: "My boyfriend is a very nice person."

"He is very considerate and gentle, and always listens patiently to others. He is very capable, responsible, and very reliable. He is tolerant and principled. He is calm and has strong self-control." His sad tone As if caught in some kind of memory, seriously and patiently, "He helped me when I was most difficult, trust me. Even if I did something wrong, he would not blame me. He is calm and introverted, and he will not boast. People are also good-looking Tall and handsome. Most importantly..."

Yan He clenched his fists, as if he was trying his best to hold back, and looked at Gu Ze every word: "He won't leave me."

During the long silence, Gu Ze rolled his Adam's apple, as if he wanted to say something to him, but there were too many things, all stuck in his throat, and he didn't know how to start.Finally, he said softly, "Sorry."

Yan He took a deep breath, turned around and wiped his face to calm down, then turned around and shook his head: "It's okay."

Looking at the man in front of him losing his composure and lowering his head, Yan He could only feel an uncontrollable sadness when the expected heartiness did not come.

Unable to see his appearance, Yan He couldn't help comforting him softly: "I don't remember a lot of things. The memory of three years ago is like a clip from a movie, a large area is blurred, leaving only a little clear wreckage .”

"But I remember your class, and I am very grateful to you, Teacher Gu."

"I feel lucky to be your student."

For a long time, he has always felt guilty and guilty for that reckless phone call that night, expressing the gratitude that has been hoarded in his heart for so many years in one breath, as if he has let go of some burden.

Finally able to bridge to bridge, road to road, no need to have anything to do with him.

Gu Ze stood against the light: "But I still remember."

"..."

"We can start over."

Yan He frowned and left, but Gu Ze grabbed his arm.Gu Ze looked at him deeply: "I miss you very much."

There was a moment of absence, as if a knife had been stabbed in the heart.How ridiculous, start again, everyone knows that it is impossible to go back to the past.Everything has changed, the environment has changed, the people have changed, and the relationship has changed. Saying to start over is nothing more than simple self-deception.

Yan He gave up struggling tiredly. He was a little tired, and his voice became a little hoarse: "Let's put it this way, it's impossible for us. If I promise you, I will feel sorry for myself. I don't do things that make me feel regretful and wronged." Things. This second now, the next second, is in the past tense, we can't start over, and I don't even want to. We... let's just..."

Turning around to leave, the strength of grabbing his arm didn't loosen at all.

Gu Ze hurriedly stopped him, and said first: "Are you still concerned about the past, actually that day I..."

"Yan He." Mingli looked at the scene in front of him with some surprise, put the mobile phone next to his ear, and smiled, "You didn't answer the phone, I thought something happened to you."

Gu Ze was taken aback for a moment, and slightly surprised the man.

Yan He pulled away his slightly slack hand, took out his mobile phone and looked at the time, apologizing: "Sorry, Teacher Ming, it's already so late..."

"I reserved a place for you, and seeing that you didn't come, I came out to look for you."

"Thank you." Yan He put the phone back into his pocket, "Mr. Ming, let's go."

"Have you prepared the PPT for your speech?" Mingli looked at Gu Ze who was still standing there, and then walked towards the administrative building with Yan He.

"Well, I just made a simplified version. I don't know if it's too simple and there are no pictures and content to see, so it makes everyone feel bored..."

"Haha. No, just speak with your heart. I will help you watch from the audience. If any students are distracted or absent-minded, let them meet in the office after class."

Knowing that Mingli is the kind of teacher who sticks to his word and never tires of trouble, Yan He has automatically imagined in his mind the ultra-clear images of the students who were arrested and taken to the office to give lectures, smiling like flowers in front of them, and swearing when they turned around.Immediately, I found it funny, as if I saw myself who had a strong desire to survive a few years ago, and laughed out loud.

"Mr. Ming, the class you lead must be the best class in the whole year."

This sounded very pleasant, and he smiled brightly: "This year I am leading the provincial recruitment class, and it is indeed the best in the whole year."

After finishing speaking, Mingli pretended to look left and right, and lowered his voice on purpose: "This cannot be heard by other teachers."

"Then bribe me." Yan He had malicious intentions.

"Next time I invite you to dinner."

……

I don't know if Gu Ze left or not, but Yan He was so distraught that he was sitting on pins and needles throughout the night, even when the elementary school boy came out, he didn't have the desire to take pictures.

After the party, he went to the office to help Mingli carry the notebook to the classroom.In the past, one of his favorite things to do was to help Gu Ze hold the computer. There were important courseware and math test questions for the next exam in it. .

Turning on the projector, Yan He gave a simple self-introduction and started talking nonsense.The learning process during this period can be described as painstaking, hard work, and after talking against a lot of popular and professional regular good students, the highlight came.

He looked at Mingli who was sitting in the back row: "I am very grateful to have met such an excellent and responsible teacher during my student career. Without him, I would not be where I am now. When you graduate and think about this Over time, you will definitely thank him for everything he has done now, and his good intentions for us. Thank you everyone."

When he stepped off the podium, he saw Akari's satisfied and smiling face.

If it was three years ago, he would never have allowed himself to say such a long list of words against his will.He would rather look at the pale face of the teacher in front of him, and tell all his criminal experiences in detail. This is the truth, only then is it sincere enough, only then is it meaningful, and only then can the whole class be worthy of entrusting him with the crime. 40 minutes.

But when a person stands on a high place, he always unconsciously wants to package himself with all kinds of problems beautifully, put it into a seemingly perfect shell, and create an illusion, so that he will not be afraid of falling heavily. down.

He stood aside, watching Akari who walked up to the podium to make a final summary.He couldn't help but sighed, wondering if he had grown up now.

After class, when he walked out of the classroom, he saw Gu Ze standing in front of the window sill.

Goosebumps immediately appeared all over Yan He's body, he lowered his head in embarrassment and wanted to leave.

Gu Ze called him in a low voice behind him.

He didn't respond, his face was burning hot.

For the first time, I was ashamed of myself for such a hypocritical growth.

The sense of oppression did not disappear, Yan He couldn't help walking faster and faster, until he reached the school gate and turned around, only to find that there was no one behind him.

Gu Ze did not catch up.

I walked to the subway station in a trance, and what happened that night seemed like a dream.

It wasn't until he was almost at the gate of the university that his phone vibrated twice that he received a message from Gu Ze.

--"Feel sorry."

——“What happened today bothered you.”

—— "I won't bother you again in the future."

Yan He's mind was in a mess, he stared at the text message hesitantly for a while, and finally swiped the delete button.

He may have been disappointed with all his actions tonight.

It turns out that he is no longer the person he remembered.

There is no need to be persistent.

Yan He smiled wryly and rubbed his temples.

fair enough.