born to ashes

My name is Cheng Jiezhi, and I am about to die.

Suddenly I don’t know how to introduce myself, there are too many labels to count, but if I think about them one by one, I don’t need to mention them.

A few decades later, if someone told me that I would die in my 20s, I would not believe it.When I was a teenager, I really had countless fantasies about life. What I hoped most at that time was to live a stable life in the future, and when I was old, I would sit in a wheelchair and bask in the sun.

In fact, it can be regarded as a disguised realization. I can't live without a wheelchair now.

Otherwise, life is really fun.

Unfortunately, I am not old yet, and I am about to die.

When I was 17 years old, I imagined many futures. At that time, I was young and dared to think about anything.Ashamed to say, the older I get, the more timid I become.

However, at that time, even if I killed all the brain cells, I never thought that someone would make me hate him enough to kill him with a gun.

GM-02.

GM-01 is called Wei Linze, and he is a very lucky person.

I can't say what I think about him, but to be honest, I'm jealous of him, and seeing his current life, I'm shocked.

Although he once tried to save me.

By the way, two months ago, I just experienced the first major surgery in my life.

Failed.

From the very beginning, I had no hope for this operation.Because I originally came to this world as a defective product, subsequent repairs can only be repairs. If I want to repair it, it is really difficult for others.

Then, I ran.

When those people discussed the "repair" plan again.

Josh helped him escape this time.

Because only he understands my thoughts, or if one day, I am determined to go to euthanasia, there is only one person in the world who supports me, and that person must be Josh.

Sorry to say, until now, I haven't asked Josh what his real name is.

Counting back and forth, I can't even count how many times he has saved me.

The first time I saw him, I was 17 years old.He dyed his long pink hair, dangled a glass of wine under the random colorful lights of the prosperous age, and smiled at the man named Zheng Fei with his bright red lips, "Brother Cheng——Boss Zheng, you You really know how to name it."

Like a leprechaun.

He also once squeezed his throat and shouted to me in a playful tone: "I can't do it, brother."

Lives like a troublesome voluptuous ghost.

So now I look at the Josh in front of me, who is pulling slippers, wearing an old shirt and carrying a vegetable basket, it really seems like a lifetime away.

Wei Linze is really good at it.

Wei Linze is really lucky.

I only stayed in their house for one day and witnessed almost all of their lives.

At 06:30 in the morning, Wei Linze runs in the morning, Josh cooks, after dinner Wei Linze goes to class, Josh goes to work, in the afternoon Josh takes a vegetable basket to the vegetable market to pick vegetables, and in the evening after dinner, the two of them take a walk together.

When they are eating, they are always restless. You talk to each other, and you will suddenly giggle for a long time because of a certain stalk, and even the tone of the laughter is tacit understanding.

I am very envious.

No, jealousy.

Jealous of this kind of tacit understanding that is used to sharing every bit of confidence with each other all the time.

Lu and I... Forget it, let's not talk about this.

The next morning, I left Wei Linze's house.

where to?not sure.

I don't have much strength right now.Fortunately, the wheelchair is electric.

In the past ten years, I seldom think of that person. One is that I dare not, and the other is...why do I want him, I can’t see him, I can’t get it, so it’s better to make myself happy.

When I returned to Haicheng, I still lived next door to Miss Ruoshui.The little girl has grown up a lot, and she came to me with a bowl of leek and egg dumplings and asked her where her beautiful sister went.

I said, your "sister" is very happy now.

The little girl is very happy.

The people in this small alley are happy every day.

This kind of happiness comes from their deep-rooted satisfaction with their own lives. Although there are people screaming and scolding each other at every moment, in the past few words, whoever baked a new cake will still hit each other. Delivered door to door.

I didn't feel noisy at all, and even felt that the various words they swear out with their eloquent tongues were quite novel.

Interesting.

However, for a little girl like Miss Ruoshui who still speaks with a milky voice, it's better not to listen to these words.

Recently, I have become less and less energetic. In the beginning, I still had the energy to go out for a walk with the little girl Ruoshui occasionally. One day, I was in a good mood and took her to the big shopping mall across the road for dinner. Now?Not to mention going out to eat, I feel like I almost don't even have the strength to open my mouth.

Ruoshui's family are all good people.

I was afraid that my death in their empty house would bring them bad luck, so I planned to leave as soon as possible while I still had a little bit of consciousness.Grandma Ruoshui, a hot-tempered and aggressive woman, kept me in a daze, saying that she wanted me to stay at ease, or that she would bring me something to eat every meal.

People thought of me well, and I couldn't help thinking of them, so I called Josh. If I was going to die, it would be safer to die in front of someone I knew.

But don't look for a cemetery, and don't go back to your hometown, just find a nearby coast and just sprinkle it.

As soon as this idea popped up, I laughed to myself. It sounds quite romantic. Isn’t it the same thing in TV dramas? If you die, you die in the sea.

In fact, I don't know if the current TV series are still performed like this.

The last time I watched TV was probably when I was 17 years old.

Originally decided not to think about Lu Chen again.

But, no.

I no longer have the strength to control my own thoughts.

The brain is operating according to his instinct, and the longing that was originally stretched to the outside has become more and more unscrupulous after breaking through the confinement. Even myself, I can't wait to become Lu Chen, so that I can really The thing is to really try to think about him as much as possible.

I miss you, Lu Chen.

I regret it, you find me.

After so many years, when I think about the first time I saw Lu Chen, I realize that some people should not be provoked in the first place.But some things are already doomed at the first glance. Everyone follows the established script, step by step, and walks towards the written ending like puppets.Powerless, facing fate has already been decided.

We passed each other in the corridor at the age of 17. That day he wore a black short-sleeved shirt, which brought a gust of wind.I even clearly remember that I rubbed against his shoulder, and I clearly remember the sound of cloth rubbing against each other.

I think this guy is really cool.

It would be great if I could stop at the age of 17 forever, and it would be great to play a "one, two, three wooden man" and completely stagnate.

Every morning, we go to school together in the morning fog, bicker while eating at noon, and are occasionally punished by the teacher to stand, and can still laugh and giggle face to face in the corridor.

Once, we also had enough confidence to have a tacit understanding.

However, Lu Chen has been walking forward, every step is solid, and there is light ahead.

I can only fall back into the darkness.

I didn't believe in fate when I was young, but now I do.Nanning Street has come out, so it is not qualified to talk about being alive.

No, I always thought that I died at the age of 17, the moment I learned the secret of GM, and I died under the gun of Beng Wenyu.

But it's not, I've been dead since I was still hanging around Chengge with missing teeth.

I died on Nanning Street.

A dead person has struggled to live for several years, and meeting someone who once wanted to give you a hand is actually enough.

But man, it's hard to say if it's enough.

Bad things want to be good, and good things want to be better.

Where is the head here?

I still want to get rid of Nanning Street completely, I still want to live an ordinary life, I still want to die without worrying about food and clothing, I still want... I still want...

Dare not say.

I'm afraid that after I say it, I won't even be willing to die.

It turns out that Lu Chen and I have only really been together for more than a year.

Then why can't I forget it after more than ten years?

Have you ever experienced the feeling of being cautious even in your dreams?I dreamed of him, but in the dream, I realized that it was a dream.How dare people think about the huge loss that followed?

Lu Chen, if only I could hear your voice again.

My space is one foot square, but my thinking has already rushed to your side.

You may not feel it.

Can you call me by my name again?

Can you...can you let me look at you again?

Can you, let me hold your hand?

Please, Lu Chen, I was wrong, I shouldn't have run away from you, please let me take a look at you.

If only I had the strength now.

I really want to find you.

I'd run if I could.

Please, even in a dream, are you unwilling to let me see you now even in a dream?

Lu Chen...

If there is a next life, I must live a better life, and then, I will protect you instead.

At that time, you must recognize me at the first sight, and I must also hold on to you and not let go, so as to make up for the days we should have been peaceful and stable.

I hope that in my next life, my luck will be better.

Lu Chen, why don't you forget it.

My life is really bad, and I will be miserable in my next life.

Then I won't drag you down in my next life.

In the next life, if we still pass each other, don't take it to heart, and neither will I.

Let's not look at each other, just go in the opposite direction and go farther and farther.

I don't know you well, and you don't want to know me.

If you can, don't ask for the memories of this life.

We don't even want to see each other for the first time.

By mistake.

I just thought: "This guy is awesome."

You just think, "This guy is an idiot."

After a long time, Sun Ruoshui will still think of the elder brother who lived next door for a long time when he was young.

That was the first time she was so close to death.

The day Cheng Jiezhi died was sunny.But the weather in Haicheng is sunny nine out of ten days, so this is really an ordinary day.

She got more than 90 points in the exam that day, and grandma specially bought her Raphael as a reward. As soon as she got the chocolate Ruoshui, she went to the next door with a small step, took it out and stuffed it into his hand.Cheng Jiezhi smiled.

In front of her, he slowly closed his eyes and never opened them again.

Sun Ruoshui thought he was just asleep.

He also reminded him in a low voice that he should eat this piece of chocolate as soon as possible, otherwise it won't taste good when it melts.

It turned out that the beautiful "sister" came here in the evening.

Then came a man he didn't know.

They had a big fight in the yard.

Sun Ruoshui was used to seeing fancy swearing in the alleys since he was a child, but he was still taken aback by them.

That "sister" punched the later man, squatted in the yard, covered her face and began to sob and cry, like a puppy barking at night, Sun Ruoshui thought.

The voice that came after that, Sun Ruoshui will never forget.

The unknown man entered the room, and suddenly let out a long mournful cry, like some wild animal.

Even Sun Ruoshui, who grew up, firmly believed that it was absolutely impossible for human beings to make that kind of sound.

Everything seemed to come to an end in this mournful cry.

The man who came out of the room looked normal. He held Cheng Jiezhi across his arms, as if the person in his arms had just fallen asleep, and moved carefully.

Sun Ruoshui poked his head at the gate of the courtyard and watched quietly.

The man muttered to himself, "Xiezhi, I'll take you home."

After he finished speaking, he inadvertently turned his head and glanced at Ruoshui.

Those eyes were obviously full of mist.

(Finish)

After writing this, my heart is very heavy.Forget it, I wanted to talk about something.

New article, "Challenge", take a look.

The revenge of a boy in a wheelchair who is sweet and sweet.

Not Sweet The author pours honey live.

The author has something to say:

I'm really gone, if I can't think about it, I may write another episode of Dr. Zhang.

Who knows whether to write or not.