365 Difficult Ways To Live

Five years ago, on November 11, the first day Mu Shangqing disappeared.

Together with the public security organs, the Superman Department and the migrant workers' buildings were searched in a large area and carried out a blanket search. The central government attached great importance to it and invested an unprecedented amount of police force.

The Huaxie Courtyard was empty. It was planned to be demolished and rebuilt, but the demolition was halfway through, and the work stopped. The whole block was full of ruins. The demolition machine patronized and stood intact, but it was still gray, so it was better to "bury it in peace" earlier.

However, the work of "demolition" was not done well, and the work of "relocation" was successfully completed. There was no nail house in the whole block, and the move was empty, only stray dogs were left. Forage around the neighborhood.

The police searched Huaxieting twice during the day, which was many times faster than in the downtown area, because no one lived there, so there was no need to filter and check people.

The search team searched in Huaxieting. Police dogs and thermal imaging drones were used, but no signs of life were found. The results were reported to the captain in charge of the search and deployment.

The team leader believes that Huaxieting is located in Xicheng District, far away from the migrant building, and criminals will not take the risk of moving people long distances. Moreover, Huaxieting is empty. Luo Wang, judging from the modus operandi, the criminal has a high IQ, so he probably wouldn't choose Huaxieting, so the captain of the criminal police ordered to relax the investigation of Huaxieting, focusing on the rental housing area near the migrant building, so that no one would miss out. , every household does not miss anyone.

That night, the police searched intently near the migrant building.

That night, Mu Shangqing appeared in Huaxie Court.

His wound was simply bandaged, and the bleeding had stopped, but his face was pale, his eye sockets were blue, and he looked surprisingly haggard and desolate.

The brick house he lived in as a child is one of the survivors. The restaurant opposite has been buried in the soil, and the acacia tree next to it has been pushed down.

In the room, he set up a long table on the first floor, and brought six stools, one at the host's seat, at the front of the table, and the other five on both sides of the table.

On the table corresponding to each stool, there is a western knife, all brand new, with a piece of cardboard pressed under the knife, the cardboard is neatly folded, with the corners facing each other, like a message from a hospitable host to the guests.

In the center of the table, there is a row of candles. The water and electricity in the demolished house have been cut off, and only candles are used for lighting. At this moment, it is completely dark, and the candles are burning silently.

The windows and door cracks were covered with black cloth to prevent the candlelight from leaking out. From the outside, the brick house seemed quiet, blending in with the dilapidated surroundings, and there was nothing unusual about it.

Mu Shangqing put his mobile phone on the table. It was a fake second-hand mobile phone, which was only used to send and receive text messages. His mobile phone had been left on the migrant worker's building, and his blood was still there. Now the outside has turned upside down, and the whole The city is looking for him.

He stared blankly at the candle in front of him, complex shadows and light shadows overlapped on his face, changing constantly with the flickering of the candle, his eyes were mysterious and unpredictable.

Taking a lot of drugs not only affected Mao Yi's mind, but also affected himself, making his memory confused, his mind dizzy, and his actions seemed impulsive and arbitrary.

Solve it in private, send text messages to Chu Dongren, send Xiaohan to another country, and he left without saying goodbye... What consequences will all this bring, he has no time to think about it, because he can feel the restlessness in his body, Mao Yi It may be replaced at any time, attacking Chu Dongren, attacking Xiaohan, attacking more innocent people, ruining the entire Superman Office, and making the public security organs in darkness again.

He has to make a quick decision—what he is doing now may not be the most appropriate, but it can minimize the risk and hurt the least people.

In the middle of the night, guests came one after another. They followed Mu Shangqing's instructions and came in the dark to avoid the police's search.

The host, Mu Shangqing, took Hu Bin, Bo Ruian, He Lan, Gong Yanhua, and Xue Jinping into the room and invited them to sit down.

It has been more than two months since he became aware of the existence of another personality and prepared for this trial. He has gone through the stages of panic, fear, collapse, despair and numbness. At this moment, facing the family of the victim, he appears calm and orderly. After experiencing the severe pain of hysteria, what is left is more heart-wrenching and deep.

After all the guests were seated, Mu Shangqing sat on the main seat, facing the crowd, and the candlelight cast on his cheeks, drawing his outline deeper and deeper.

"Welcome everyone to participate in this trial. All of you here are relatives of the victims of the murder, and the murder happened around me. You should know me by now."

The family members of the deceased came here with great worries and only wanted to know the truth. At this moment, they saw the Western-style food knives, candles and pieces of paper in front of them, like a candlelight dinner, and they might serve them later.They were a little impatient immediately, and He Lan asked first: "Mr. Mu, please tell me who the murderer is, I'm not interested in other things!"

Mu Shangqing put his hands on the table and sat upright, like the host of a trial meeting, "I am the murderer."

Everyone present was obviously taken aback, but soon frowned again, looked at each other, and at the same time knew that since everyone is the family member of the victim, and now they have been called over, there may be a consolation meeting to help them get out. Shadow to avoid mental problems.

However, it is a bit baffling that the meeting will be held in such a place. Is it helpful for psychological counseling?

Bo Ruian had no choice but to sit next to Mu Shangqing, lowered his voice and said: "Mr. Mu, I know you are very concerned about my affairs, and you have never been able to find the murderer. My wife and I are indeed very anxious, but please don't take it as an excuse. This way of comforting us doesn’t work!”

Mu Shangqing smiled at him, then looked at the others, and said, "I have a dual personality. The me you know is the normal me, which is the current me, but there is another brutal me who will kill you all." relatives."

He Lan, Gong Yanhua, and Xue Jinping all looked straight at Mu Shangqing, feeling a little distressed. He was afraid that he had experienced too many murders and was too stimulated, and he was already unconscious.

Hu Bin's complexion suddenly became serious, he recalled the intersection with Mu Shangqing in the past, and did not say a word.

Mu Shangqing was born very fair, but when illuminated by the warm candlelight, his skin still showed a cool tone, cool and soft, so his whole person appeared rational and calm, without the slightest intention of joking.

"The piece of paper in front of you is written with my method of killing, you can open it and have a look."

In the past, he went to the Public Security Bureau to investigate and investigate with the police. He was puzzled by the murderer's method, but after confirming that the murderer was himself, he looked through his diary again. The victim's story recorded in the diary Living habits are the entry point for Mao Yi, and he finally deduced the crime process.

On the seats, the faces of the five people were full of horror, half hesitation, half eagerness, they took out the piece of paper in front of them, and opened it.

Time passed by every minute and every second, the room became quiet, and the surroundings were completely silent. It seemed that the eyes of the entire block were concentrated on the piece of paper and the black letters on it. Witness the sins of record.

After reading it, everyone's expressions did not change, from doubt to half-belief, and then looked into Mu Shangqing's eyes, with doubt and hostility.

Gong Yanhua thought about it day and night, and didn't understand how Chen Mu died. Now that she saw the paper, she suddenly realized that she even believed that Mu Shangqing was the murderer. Because it was not the murderer, it is impossible to know the details of the rock sugar bottle.

She really wanted to rush up and catch Mu Shangqing, and ask them all at once, but now there are other people around her, and she is in a remote and unfamiliar place, the scene is too weird, and she can't help but doubt the authenticity of the matter, so Suppressing his anger, he asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

Mu Shangqing looked up at her, then looked forward, going straight to the point, further persuading them to accept the facts.

"Everyone's relatives died beside me, and they all died inexplicably, forming a series of unsolved cases. In the past two years, I have been looking for who the murderer is, and I have been running to the police station. Until recently, I found out that my other Personality, I know that the murderer is him, that is, myself. You can look at the common points of the cases, they all happened around me, and the relatives of all the relatives here have died inexplicably, only knowing some details of their lives, and They don't have a deep connection with someone, so they can kill people invisible, and then get away quickly, so I am the only one who meets the conditions."

After reading the paper just now, everyone was dubious, but now listening to Mu Shangqing's heavy voice, their doubts further weakened, and they began to believe that the gentle man in front of them, who they always thought was a gentleman, was a murderer.

Borian stared at him, bloodshot eyes appeared in his eyes, and in the candlelight, he was a little hideous: "Then why don't you go to the police station and surrender yourself, but call us together?"

Mu Shangqing blinked his eyes lightly, his eyebrows were thick and black, and the eyebrows grew very neatly, and the ends of the eyebrows looked like trimmed inverted trapezoids, which set off the contours of the eyes extraordinarily delicately.At this moment, his eyes are like lake water reflecting the starry sky, clear and hazy.

"I have a mental disorder and a mental illness. I will not be sanctioned for killing someone. I will be sent to a doctor, and a doctor will heal me well. I will live in a hospital with a beautiful environment and receive meticulous care and treatment. Maybe three years. After five years, I will be discharged from the hospital. I have a high degree of education, a high IQ, and know a lot of things. I can find a good job and live my life smoothly."

He didn't finish what he said next - if he surrenders himself, they will know the truth, feel pain, be angry, and hope that the murderer will be brought to justice on the spot, but what they waited for was the court's announcement that the murderer was exempted from criminal justice The punishment is not going to jail, but going to hospital.

They will be disappointed, helpless, and desperate, although there will be police officers explaining to them that the murderer was in the stage of illness when he committed the crime, and he is a person without criminal responsibility. According to the law, he should be exempted from punishment.

In the end, they could only accept their fate, they could only watch him live in peace and stability, and they could only be forced to understand his mental illness.But no matter how tolerant, understanding, and magnanimous they are, deep down in their hearts, there will still be irresistible hatred. From then on, they hold the deepest hostility and contempt for the word "mental illness", even until death.

The faces of the four people in the seats became ugly, and they were already suppressing anger in their chests. Now after hearing Mu Shangqing's words, their anger has reached a critical point, and they are ready to erupt at any time.

Borian squinted at him, and the words came out of his teeth: "You call out the other personality, I have something to ask him."

"If you have any questions, you can ask me directly. I am him. We belong to the same body. He is just my dark side. What he thinks is actually what I want. Now you can treat me as a He, I am the murderer..."

He didn't finish talking, Xue Jinping suddenly rushed up, the stool fell to the ground, and he fell to the ground in embarrassment.

Xue Jinping scratched at him. Her nails were long and powerful, and scratched bloodstains on his face and neck. Mu Shangqing didn't resist, and let her beat him. Her hair and clothes were quickly messed up.

Borian stood up, he pulled Xue Jinping back, then grabbed Mu Shangqing's collar, and slammed it against the wall with such force that the wall knocked off dust.

"Why did you kill Mengmeng!"

Mu Shangqing was hit so that his internal organs were churning, he coughed a few times, let himself recover quickly, and answered: "Because he is so cute and beautiful, my dark side doesn't like beautiful things, he wants to They destroy to get revenge on me and society."

A punch hit his cheekbone, and Mu Shangqing was knocked to the ground. He felt dizzy for a while, and before he could recover, his body began to ache violently.

He Lan, Gong Yanhua and Xue Jinping surrounded him, punched and kicked him, kicking him on the forehead, chest, thighs, and abdomen. Every time he kicked, his abdominal cavity would churn. He didn't hide at all, just endured it quietly.

Several people kicked and cursed, their voices were hoarse with grief: "Why didn't you kill yourself, the one who should die most is you, why didn't you strike at yourself—"

Hu Bin sat blankly on the seat, his face was haggard, his eyes were absent, and he looked decadent and confused.It has been a year and a half since his niece Hu Qingke died, but he hasn't recovered yet. As a psychiatrist, he can't heal himself.

He once thought that the one who killed Hu Qingke was a certain patient in the hospital, so he didn't want to step into the hospital again. He really couldn't bear it. The person he treated with all his heart might be the one who killed his beloved daughter. murderer.

But now, it turns out that the one who killed her was her favorite Teacher Mu. She once praised Mu Shangqing a hundred times in front of him, saying that he was good-looking, good-tempered, and good at teaching. Friends must be the type of Teacher Mu.

Hu Bin hated Mu Shangqing, hated himself even more, hated why he didn't bring Xiao Ke himself, and handed her over to a hidden murderer!

Borian, like him, also collapsed on the stool, hatred and heartache welled up all the way to his head, his eyes were terribly red, he hated Mu Shangqing, hated himself, hated why he took Mengmeng to the lake that day, why did he Met Chu Dongren and Mu Shangqing, why did they have dinner together!

He Lan, Gong Yanhua and Xue Jinping also hated, hated their mother, husband and children were so cute and kind, why did they die, they died because they were too beautiful!

The pain of bereavement, the grief of bereavement, the grief of bereavement, the grief of bereavement, the grief of bereavement, the pain, hatred, sorrow, grief, all of them came to my heart at once, gathered in a room of [-] square meters, a small room , carrying an unbearable emotional weight, may collapse at any time, and explode at any time.

They vented all their hatred on Mu Shangqing, and they stopped until they lost all strength and there was no sound in their throats.

In the end, Mu Shangqing lay on the ground without moving, as if he had died peacefully.

Seeing that he was covered in injuries, no one paid attention to him, and the family members of the deceased who were full of hatred scattered to every corner of the room, crying in grief. The heartache and hatred of the past two years completely broke out at this moment, and the whole body could not bear it. About to tear apart.

After a while, Mu Shangqing moved, he had no strength left, he struggled several times, grabbed the stool with both hands, climbed up, and sat on it.

With a fishy smell in his mouth, he raised his hand and wiped the blood and dust mixed stains on his lips, his voice became weak: "I want to ask you one thing."

He Lan, Gong Yanhua and Xue Jinping faced the wall and ignored him, Bo Rui'an and Hu Bin also turned their faces away, not wanting to look at him anymore.

A man like him is not worthy of asking.

"I want to ask you to help me keep it secret, don't tell others, I am mentally ill."

He Lan suddenly turned around and cursed: "Fuck your father, you broke the law and killed someone, and you want us to keep it a secret for you, you are not a fucking human!"

Mu Shangqing suddenly smiled. He has double eyelids, and the eye sockets are deep. When he smiled, he covered his eyes, and the smile was brewed in the eyeballs, blending with the candlelight, and the whole eyes looked bright and gorgeous. .

At the same time, there was a glimmer of light at the end of his eyes, a tear streak ran across his cheekbones, across bruises, across wounds, across blood stains, through the corners of his lips, and then flowed to his chin, dripping onto his cheeks on the index finger.

"Because I have a daughter, she is very cute, she is very beautiful, she thinks her father is a good father, she thinks he is kind, upright, gentle, compassionate and caring, he will walk with her, spend her birthday with her, yes Mom is fine too, she thinks he's a wonderful person."

His fingertips were wet and he trembled, "If she knows that I am mentally ill, others will know, others will point at her and scold her father as mentally ill, and she will also be called mentally ill, so I would like to ask you to replace me. I keep it a secret, I want to protect my daughter."

Ever since he was a child, he has been afraid of the word "mental illness". Every time he hears it, his heart twitches. Others scold him for being sick, and even scold his mother. He is really afraid of being scolded, and he doesn't want Mu Han. suffer the same torture again.

He wanted Mu Han to grow up peacefully, no longer be viewed with strange eyes, and be accepted by this society and the world.

Gong Yanhua looked at him coldly, and spat: "Bah - you hurt our relatives, why should we let us protect your relatives!"

Borian panted heavily, "It's fine if we don't take revenge on her. It's impossible to protect her. Since you killed someone and violated the law, you have to bear it. Don't try to hide!"

Mu Shangqing lowered his eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, the candlelight swept over him, outlining his nasal bone high, but under the center of his brow, there was a concave arc, looking from the side, it looked like a rolling hill.

Soon, he stood up tremblingly, then bent his knees, knelt down, and knelt down in front of everyone.

"I called everyone here today to conduct a trial. You are now the presiding judge and can make a judgment."

As he said that, Mu Shangqing swallowed his saliva with difficulty. He felt the restlessness in his body, and Mao Yi was struggling. In the past, he would hide in and act as a deserter at such times, but this time, he wanted to be brave. He wants to take all the blame.

"I'm a beast, a scumbag, and a scum. I killed Xiaoke, Mengmeng, Aunt Shi, Brother Chen, and Xuanwen with my own hands. I ruined your family and your life. I made your favorite People died tragically, people like me don't deserve the forgiveness of the law, and don't deserve to live in this world anymore. You can do anything to me, and I will judge by you."

The scene fell silent, and the five people present, with red eyes, stared at him intently, but did not move.

"In front of you, there are five knives. I have already dug a hole in the earth dam outside. The pagoda tree in the earth dam has been pushed down and the soil has been turned over again. There should be no further construction in the future. The soil layer, this building will be directly demolished in the future, without leaving any traces, there is no monitoring nearby, no one else, this is a wasteland, you can rest assured to make the most appropriate judgment, there will be no outside forces Interference, and no one will find out, this is a trial court that belongs only to you."

As he finished speaking, a figure flashed by in the candlelight. Xue Jinping grabbed the western food knife on the table and stabbed it into his left abdomen. For my son!"

Not long after, another knife fell into Mu Shangqing's right abdomen, He Lan held the handle of the knife, "This knife is for my mother!"

Two knives were stabbed into the abdomen, the old wound from yesterday had already opened, and the blood gushed out like a fountain, soaking the clothes. Mu Shangqing sat on his ankles, his body was already unstable, but he still straightened his back and continued to accept the sentence.

Before making him wait too long, Gong Yanhua grabbed the knife and stabbed it into his chest. The first knife was blocked by his ribs.

"This knife is for my husband!"

Borian picked up the knife and stabbed it directly into his neck, a blood vessel burst instantly, "This knife is for my child!"

Mu Shangqing was already unable to kneel, and he fell down, covered in blood and stains, but he persisted in surviving, holding his last breath, raised his eyes with difficulty, looked at Hu Bin, and waited for his verdict.

Hu Bin held the knife in his hand and did not move.He's a clinical psychiatrist, he's seen people with dissociative identity disorder, he knows what the main causes are, and he's seen their hardships, their misfortune, their childhood pain firsthand.

What kind of pain does one have to experience in childhood in order to tear a person's personality apart and survive smoothly?

Mu Shangqing was about to die, Hu Bin walked up to him empty-handed without a knife, and squatted down.

Mu Shangqing's body was covered with knives, wet with blood, breathing hard, waiting for him to strike.

Hu Bin burst into tears, tears wet his cheeks, he hugged Mu Shangqing, his voice trembling uncontrollably, "Shang Qing, Shang Qing... have you experienced something before, has this world done anything to you? What?"

Mu Shangqing's head drooped weakly, he tried his best to bend the corners of his mouth, and smiled at Hu Bin, "Thank you Dean Hu, I love this world very much, thank you, thank you..."

Before he could fully squeeze out his smile, he lost his breath, his heart stopped beating, his head was tilted back, his upper and lower lips were separated, and he couldn't smile anymore.

Hu Bin's hands were covered with blood, hugged Mu Shangqing, lowered his head, did not speak, his shoulders shook violently, just like he hugged the dead Hu Qingke back then.

Seeing that Mu Shangqing was out of breath, Bo Rui'an stood up and was about to leave.

He Lan stopped him, "Where the hell are you going!"

"I'll surrender myself!" Borian walked out without turning his head.

"Did you forget his request!"

Borian walked to the door, stopped suddenly, and hesitated.

Gong Yanhua sat at the table with a complex expression, "I hate him, but I admire him. I agree to his request and protect his daughter."

Borian turned around: "I'm going to surrender, and I won't go around saying that he is mentally ill!"

Gong Yanhua said unhappily: "Of course you won't say it, but won't the police investigate? Once it is found out, everyone in the world will know!"

Borian's face was livid, and he stood where he was, speechless.

None of the five people made a sound, and one person lay on the ground, the color of blood was dimmed by the candlelight.The room was quiet, the candles were burning, and the candle tears dripped and piled up on the table. The fireworks flickered, flickering, and they were about to go out.

Hu Bin held Mu Shangqing's head, his voice seemed old: "Let's let him die in peace!"

In the night, five people buried one person next to the fallen pagoda tree, put his mobile phone and five murder weapons in together, and then filled it with soil with a shovel.After filling it up, he threw the shovel into the nearby ruins. There was everything there, including broken furniture, bricks, cement, and garbage. There was a dead body sleeping in this pile of ruins.

The body fell into the ground, and the five figures left together. They walked in different directions, gathered together silently, and then dispersed quietly.

In the courtyard of flowers and flowers, under the locust tree, it seems that nothing has happened, as if everything has been buried in the soil.