Mr. Chu

That sentence, like a leaf, drifted in the air and then fell.

Gu Yang stood at the door, motionless, his bangs covered the expression on his face, at least from Chu Jinye's perspective, it was difficult to see his expression, and he didn't know what his reaction was.

He didn't know what to do.

After a long stalemate, Chu Jinye broke the silence first. He took out a key, put it on the coffee table, and said, "I...brought you a gift. There is a castle in country F, which is on a sea island. It is very beautiful. , I think you might like it, happy birthday."

Gu Yang still didn't speak.

The atmosphere was really very stiff. In the relationship between the two of them, it was never Chu Jinye who was responsible for alleviating the atmosphere. He racked his brains to warm up the field, but at the moment, Gu Yang was obviously not cooperative.

He sat for a long time, but still couldn't help but continued: "I..."

Before he finished speaking, Gu Yang suddenly raised his head and looked at him. At that moment, Chu Jinye's breath was about to freeze. He thought he would say something, but the next second, the boy closed his eyes and fell straight down. go down.

he's drunk.

He fell asleep.

Chu Jinye only realized this after rushing over to hug him, feeling lost for a moment, not knowing whether to be thankful or disappointed.

He stared at the boy's face, and wanted to reach out to touch it, but his hand stayed in the air for a long time, but he still didn't let it go.

Gu Yang was woken up by the alarm clock at noon the next day.

When he woke up, he had a splitting headache, and it took him a long time to get over it. The capacity for alcohol is a natural thing. He has never been able to drink much, and he usually pays attention to it. He went crazy yesterday, and now the sequelae are showing up. Very uncomfortable.

Dizzy for a while, he blinked and remembered what happened yesterday.

As soon as you touch it, you can touch the cold key.

Gu Yang picked it up, looked at it for a while, and put it aside again.

He went to the bathroom, tidied himself up, changed his clothes, and went downstairs.

Chu is on the sofa tonight, watching him.

The two looked at each other, but neither of them spoke.

In fact, Chu was very nervous tonight. He had a guilty conscience and felt that he had done something wrong, and he didn't know how Gu Yang would react. Yesterday's oolong was oolong, and when he was awake, things were different.

He waited for a while, thinking whether to say hello, Gu Yang came down from the steps, sat down at the dining table, and said, "Mr. Chu, good morning."

Chu Jinye was stunned for a while, and then said, "Good morning."

Gu Yang nodded, then finished the porridge in front of him without saying anything, the whole process was very quiet, the man kept looking at him, he kept silent, then stood up after finishing drinking, and said: "I'll go first Class begins."

He just opened the door and left.

No questions, no thoughts, no questions about why he came, why he didn't reply for so long, and also no questions about what he planned to do next, whether he would stay here.It's like 'Do what you like, so be it. '.

Chu sat on the sofa for more than ten minutes tonight without moving.

After Gu Yang went out, he didn't go to school.

He was a very well-behaved boy who never skipped classes, and the professors had a good impression of him, so he easily asked for leave.

Asen called and asked him what's wrong, he briefly explained, but Zhao Shaoye's call came right away.

Towards Chu Jinye, Zhao Shaoye's attitude has always been very strange. When he heard that he was coming, he didn't even have time to make up for the sleep after staying up all night and carnival, so he rushed over to look for Gu Yang immediately.

As soon as he got out of the car, he asked, "Are you okay? He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

Gu Yang shook his head, Zhao Shaoye breathed a sigh of relief.He was about to continue asking, when he saw the boy raised his eyes and looked towards him.

At that moment, Zhao Shaoye suddenly felt something was wrong.

Gu Yang's expression was something he had never seen before. In the past, the young man always had a smile on his face, and he was very warm when he looked at it, but now, there was an indescribable weirdness.It can't be said to be cold, but it is weird.

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Shaoye."

"Ok?"

"Are you still refusing to tell me what you kept from me at the beginning?"

"!"

Zhao Shaoye was stunned for a few seconds, conditioned to deny it, and then felt that, with Gu Yang's sensitivity, he had already understood what he said.

"I'm sorry." Without waiting for his reply, Gu Yang continued, "Actually, I too... have something to hide from you."

"I didn't tell anyone about it but myself, sorry, I don't know what to say."

He had never spoken in such a weak tone before, Zhao Shaoye panicked immediately, sat beside him and said, "Don't be like this, what's the matter, is it... related to Chu tonight?"

During this period of time, he didn't dare to mention this name in front of Gu Yang. The scene of that day was still vivid in his memory. After he said the words on his behalf, the young man's face was as pale as a piece of paper.

He thought he would cry, but no, Gu Yang covered his face and said to him, okay.

Then they left.

But no matter how careless Zhao Shaoye was, he could still feel that Chu Jinye's behavior at that time had left a wound on the young man's heart. As for how deep the wound was, only he knew.

Now, Gu Yang took the initiative to expose the wound. He stared at the ground and spoke slowly, with a soft voice and no one to rely on.

"I... dare not tell anyone, because I am very afraid. I have been abandoned many times since I was a child, so that later, I dare not show my shortcomings in the slightest, because I am afraid that they will... …hate me."

Gu Yang spoke intermittently. For him, it was like opening his heart for others to see. His pain and despair that he thought he had forgotten all came out from his voice. Zhao Shaoye felt chills down his spine when he heard it, and couldn't help feeling took his hand.

"I'm like this. It seems that I don't care about anything and I can accept everything. It's not like this. I also have things I like and things I hate. When others hurt me again and again, I will also get angry. Yes, but it's been so long, I've forgotten that I'm still... an independent person..."

"I don't see myself as a human being, and they don't see me as a human being either."

When he said this, he closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and was trembling all over. Zhao Shaoye couldn't even speak, tears streaming down his face, and he reached out to hug him, trying to pass the temperature over.

Gu Yang hugged him and said: "I really hate myself. Every time we meet, I think of parting. Every time we meet, I want to separate. Why can't I look forward to the good? No. Yes, I always feel that the ending will not be good, why? Because I... I am always left behind! I just don't have a good ending! Every time I guess things come true! No one wants Me, no one will stop for me, they say they like me, but they will forget me in the end, what can I do? This is not what I want!"

His tears flowed down continuously and merged into a river, his voice was sharp and unlike his: "I met Mr. Chu, I thought I finally had a family, but he didn't want me either, he said yes, no Will be separated from me, but my premonition has come true, I am still left behind, what can I do, what can I do!"

"Can't I be angry? I don't have the right to be angry. I'm sad. I did something wrong. I can change it. I said something wrong. I can never speak again. But, why don't you say anything?" Tell me, don't give me a chance, just leave me behind?"

When he said this, he was numb, like a puppet, he pushed Zhao Shaoye away, looked at him, and suddenly said: "I'm really angry."

"I'd be angry too."

Zhao Shaoye was crying so hard that he couldn't even speak. He kept shaking his head. He had never seen Gu Yang like this. Since they met, Gu Yang has always been gentle, well-behaved, especially understanding and obedient. .At that time, his temper was very bad, and many times he felt that what he said was too serious, and he would not get off the stage, but Gu Yang never got angry with him, and every time he took the initiative to talk to him and apologize.Their friendship can only be maintained until now. He has never seen Gu Yang lose his temper or get angry. suffered a lot.

If he hadn't suffered a lot and suffered a lot, who would be the most infallible, the most sensible and obedient, because he is used to not being cared about, so he can take good care of himself and others, and he can always be Live in the way that most suits everyone's wishes, but is that really happy?

Zhao Shaoye really hates Chu Jinye and himself now, why has he never thought about it, never asked about it, if Gu Yang didn't say anything, would he really just keep pretending that nothing happened, thinking that nothing would happen to him? Didn't it happen?

He is his best friend!How could he be so sad?

But he has never been able to speak, he only knows how to sarcasm people, but he doesn't know how to comfort him, so he can only shake his head and explain: "No...he..."

He was about to tell what happened to Chu Jinye, but Gu Yang shook his head and said, "Don't tell, he wants you to keep it a secret, so don't tell."

The boy took a deep breath, wiped away the tears on his face, he recovered, touched Zhao Shaoye's wet face, and apologized gently: "I'm sorry, I made you worry about me."

Zhao Shaoye stared at him vigorously, choked up and said, "If you talk like that again, I'm really going to get angry!"

Gu Yang was stunned for a moment, his expression became more gentle, he pulled him up and said, "Let's go find Brother Qin, he will be worried if you come out in such a hurry."

Zhao Shaoye glared at him again, and hummed thoughtlessly.

Qin Shao was not at yesterday's place, so he told Gu Yang on the phone that he should come to an address to find him alone.

That place was quite far away, and when Gu Yang arrived, the sun had already set.

In the dark night, he found Qin Shao in a mansion on top of a mountain.

The man saw him, pulled him to the floor-to-ceiling window, and said to him, "I haven't given you a birthday present yet, come here."

As the black curtain was pulled back, Gu Yang opened his eyes wide. From here, he could see the whole city, the brightly lit high-rise buildings, the winding river and the coastline, and the orange lights shone like jewels. , in the dark night, this city that never sleeps shows its power, money and status.

"The first time I came to this country, I saw this scene, and I swore at the time, I would make it mine."

Qin Shao's voice rang in his ears, seductive like a sea monster, Gu Yang turned his head to look at him, the man's side face was incomparably beautiful, every inch of his skin was like expensive gold.

"I was born in a very small place, where people would point out what to do out of the ordinary. Many people have never seen the outside scenery in their entire lives, sitting in a well like a frog at the bottom of a well, poor and ignorant. I don't want to live like that Life, so I came out, although the process was a bit hard, but I still got everything I wanted, and no one would dare to talk about my background, and no one would dare to look down on me."

Speaking of this, the world's top supermodel smiled strangely, and then said, "What do you think when you look at it?"

"very beautiful."

The man laughed lowly: "This really seems like an answer you would have."

"I like you very much, because I think we have some similarities."

Gu Yang looked at him quietly.

Because he cried before, his eyes were still red and swollen, but even so, it couldn't conceal the uniqueness and beauty of those eyes. Qin Shao looked at them as if he were looking at the most beautiful gems.

"I like your eyes very much. You are a person without desire. Many people will fight and bite each other because of power and money, but you won't. You are so strange. You smile so sadly, but you don't hold any resentment at all. .”

He stretched out his cold and slender fingers, and touched the corner of the boy's eyes lightly, as if afraid of breaking them.

"However, why do I feel that we are similar, Gu Yang, you are really a lonely person, you are afraid of losing, afraid of being abandoned, so you hide your preferences and dare not let others discover your shortcomings, and wrong yourself for this, cover yourself."

"But..." He laughed: "But..."

This cold, presumptuous and provocative beauty looked at the young man and said coldly: "Whether others like you, want you, what does that have to do with you?"

"Can't you live without other people?"

Gu Yang's breathing was disordered, his eyes widened blankly, and his whole body trembled silently. He suddenly realized that the other party had already seen clearly.

See through all his thoughts.

Qin Shao sneered, and looked down at him condescendingly, his eyes were cold and penetrating, completely nailing the boy in place.

"It's not up to you to decide where you came from, and it's not up to you to decide whether others like it or not, but you always have something to decide. If he leaves you behind, you won't stand up again? Won't you chase after him? Gu Yang , you are not something that needs to be attached to others to live, you are an independent person, you have the right to do whatever you want, regardless of what others think, when I was a teenager, someone expected me to die, I did not die When I first went to Beijing, someone put broken glass in my shoes, hoping that I would retreat and make a fool of myself on stage. I didn’t. I was wearing those shoes, my feet were covered in blood, and I was done walking. In that show, I got the perfect evaluation, I got the chance to come here, I am better than any white person, so I had the last laugh, you see, no matter what others are, it is you who decides your fate in the end. "

The corners of the man's eyes were as cold as if cut by a knife. He stared at Gu Yang and said word by word: "You are yourself first, and your emotions are more worthy of attention than anyone else's. , just say it, sad, cry, unhappy, let them all know! You have someone you like, and he doesn’t like you—what’s the matter? He abandons you, he abandons you, he he he he he he, It's all about him, but what about you? Where are you? What did you do? Did you tell him you liked him, you felt you did something wrong, he gave you up, you deserved it, so why would you Angry? Shouldn't you be angry?"

"No!" Gu Yang finally couldn't help retorting fiercely, he bit his lips tightly: "I...I didn't think so..."

"Is it not, or does it not deserve it, does it not like it, or does it dare not like it?" Qin Shao approached him, raised his chin, and his voice was as sharp as a sword, piercing through the boy: "What are you thinking, what are you talking about?" Don't you know!?"

What am I thinking.

what i want.

In fact, I have been lying to myself, telling myself that I don't know what I want, but I do.

I know... I know!I know it!

Gu Yang panted heavily, like a fish that landed on the shore was constantly struggling, tears filled his eyes again, and he said, "I'm very angry."

"Because he didn't tell me anything, he just made a decision."

"But that was his decision, not mine. I never made a decision."

"I know what to do."

Qin Shao let go, looked at him coldly, threw him a handkerchief, and ordered: "Wipe your tears, I hate seeing others cry."

Gu Yang took the handkerchief and thanked him. He wiped away his tears, looked at the other party, with mixed feelings for a moment, walked over and rubbed his palm.

"Thank you, brother."

The man snorted, but he didn't push him away, and said, "Finish your meal, and then go back and settle things."

Dinner was very simple, Qin Shao didn't eat much, he made porridge for Gu Yang, after drinking, he casually said something.

"The one named Tan Yu, I'll help you out."

Gu Yang was stunned for a moment, then raised his eyes to look at him.

The man said indifferently: "Don't you dislike him? It just so happens that I have a friend who has some relationship with his parents, so I just mentioned it for you. He won't pester you again in the future."

"……thanks."

Gu Yang knew a little bit about Tan Yu's background. Although Qin Shao said it was easy, but it was not so easy when he actually did it.

He really regarded him as his younger brother, so he said such things and did such things.

"Brother Qin, do you... have someone you like?"

Qin Shao smiled, and said casually: "Why, are you in the mood to care about me now? Don't worry about it, I don't need children to worry about me."

Seeing that Gu Yang was still looking at him stubbornly, the other party waved his hand impatiently, and said vaguely: "After..., let's talk, it's not sure yet."

Gu Yang blinked: "So there is?"

"To shut up!"

Because he said something he shouldn't have said, Gu Yang was kicked out quickly. He drove back and passed the school by the way.

As he passed by, a car followed him and honked his horn a few times.

Gu Yang lowered the car window and was stunned.

It's Tan Yu.

The other party didn't look very good, he looked at him and said, "Can we talk about it?"

He agreed.

"I'm sorry." After getting out of the car, Tan Yu first apologized, unexpectedly straightforward: "I didn't consider your thoughts before, I disrespect you very much, it's my fault."

Gu Yang was stunned, then reacted, and said: "You don't need to apologize, this is not a wrong thing."

"I still have to apologize, you don't know what I think, I..." Tan Yu paused, but still didn't say anything, he looked at the boy and said: "It's my fault, I didn't treat you as someone who needs respect Man, I don't care about your feelings, I'm sorry."

It was after that day that he reflected for a long time before he realized it.

From the very beginning, he had a kind of condescending love for Gu Yang, what is the difference between the same compassion as humiliation, why would he underestimate the other party, stepping on the bottom line of others time and time again.

Gu Yang has a very strange aura, he is not the kind of person who can be bullied, obviously he is gentle and easy to talk, but when those eyes look at you, you can't help but have a certain kind of respect, which is related to the level of status It's nothing to do, it's just being in awe of something indescribable and inexplicable.

Looking at his calm face, Tan Yu suddenly thought that his soul should not be profaned.

Some people want money, power, and climb the ladder. For this reason, they are willing to lower the bottom line again and again and sell themselves, but Gu Yang does not. He is clean, no matter whether he has the background of Chu Jinye like the rumors No matter whether he will act or not, he will not be a person who is willing to sell himself. Tan Yu has never seen such a person.

Under the petal-like soft exterior, there is a tough and inviolable interior.

Now I know that he is not A Ming, not as fragile as imagined, but Tan Yu likes him even more, this kind of love is completely different from before, mixed with respect and respect for beauty, he didn't apologize because of his family's request Yes, he felt that he had done something wrong, and Gu Yang could bear the apology.

"sorry."

"...It doesn't matter." Gu Yang lowered his eyes, and replied softly: "Actually, my attitude was also very bad at that time, I'm sorry, you are a good person, thank you for your liking."

Tan Yu couldn't help but smiled bitterly, he leaned forward: "I have a question to ask, if you feel offended, I will apologize."

"Please say."

"Do you... have someone you like?"

Gu Yang was in a daze for a moment, looked up at him and said, "Yes, I love him."

"sorry."

The two said this in unison, and then both were stunned for a few seconds before laughing at the same time.

"I don't think he knows you like him, you can tell him." Tan Yu said, he had never spoken so tenderly since he was a child: "Believe me, no one will reject you, you... are really good."

Well I can't help liking it.

Gu Yang didn't speak, just smiled slightly, and ended the short conversation. He nodded to him, and then left. Tan Yu stood at the intersection, looked at his back, and suddenly realized that there was a lot more something different.

what is it then?

Chu stayed at home for a long time tonight and didn't go out all day. He thought about many things, but he still didn't know how to make a decision.

He shouldn't have come.

But he still came.

He still couldn't restrain his love and longing for this child, he loved him, and he couldn't take him away from his heart no matter what.

Gu Yang.

Yang Yang.

I'm afraid I'll hurt you, but I still can't see you.

I have done many things wrong, even loving you is wrong.

The man gritted his teeth, his face was as dark as a dark night, full of haze, it was already late, and Gu Yang still hadn't come back, Chu Jinye would also involuntarily feel that he was hiding from me?

It turns out that being evaded unilaterally is so uncomfortable.

Didn't he feel the same way when I left him on purpose?

At this time, the door was opened.

Chu Jinye subconsciously stood up and stared at the door.

Gu Yang stood in front of the door, looking at him.

The young man's face is very calm, but it feels very different from before, as if something is about to explode, unstoppable.

He walked up to him.

He looks at him.

Gu Yang stared into Chu Jinye's eyes, and said very clearly and calmly: "Mr. Chu, I love you."