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I've become so obsessed with you that I must reveal to you who you are.

—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

At that time, there were not as many high-rise buildings in Taipei as there are now. When I was not paying attention in class, I would glance out of the window. The dense leaves of old trees swayed quietly, exhaling in a regular rhythm like breathing.The underlying sky is always so clean, even on rainy days, the gray is still transparent and moist.

A few dark clouds sleep lazily, turning their bodies every once in a while to stretch their muscles and bones.

It should be such a rainy day, I walked out of the club room with my guitar in my hand.

The guitars I used back then were still made of plastic strings, and it was only a few years later that I switched to steel string guitars.At the peak of campus folk song popularity, wherever you go, it seems that there are strings as the background.Walking through the long corridors of the old building, I turned a corner unintentionally. I wanted to go back to my classroom this evening. I didn't know that this turn would be the starting point of another road in my life, let alone what happened next. The plot will remain in my memory for a lifetime.

At the age of 17, I look like other high school boys. A small piece of steel is stuffed into the military training cap, the hat is folded upright, the straps of the schoolbag are shortened, and the bag is packed into wooden boards to make the bag hard and stiff. square.His homework is passable, and he is popular in the class, but he is not the kind of student whose teacher will be particularly impressed.I was always reluctant to go home after school, so I joined the guitar club and practiced very hard.I have been following the rules since I grew up. If you ask me what I imagined about my future at that time, perhaps the biggest hope is to own a car before the age of 30.Family and marriage are still too far away. You can wait until the second year of high school to worry about the college entrance examination.At that time, I never felt that I had too much ambition, and I never thought that I was outstanding in appearance.Apart from taking classes and practicing guitar, there is nothing particularly exciting in life. It will inevitably make me feel a little bored at this age, but at most I just passively consume myself, sleep and watch TV in a daze, when I am extremely bored, I even help my younger brother who is still in elementary school to do labor.I don't yet, or rather don't want to, deal with the leisure and annoyance of adolescence.

That kind of mood is like a pile of dust and hairballs swept out by sweeping the floor. It seems that it doesn't exist when you don't clean it up.So if there is anything that I really regret at the age of 17, it is probably this kind of waste that I don't quite understand.Until this day, when I was walking down the hallway with my guitar, I didn't realize how different I was from other students.I don't understand my passivity, maybe I'm resisting something.

He stopped outside the classroom of his class.

I was unprepared, one step away, desire and ignorance, from Chuhe Hanjie.

Someone was still sitting in the last window seat in the corner.The man lowered his head, holding a tube of writing brush in a completely non-standard posture and writing.The lights in the classroom were not turned on, and only the light from the window remained in the dimness, falling on the open composition book, the man's scribbled and thick black handwriting.

Probably because he was a repeat student, Yao Ruifeng seemed to exist in the class, but he didn't seem to exist.Nobody knows how he got repeated.Except that he would mingle with his classmates during physical education class, he was usually not seen after class, and he was used to looking for those old classmates who had already entered the second year of high school.The age of development is one or two years old, and the body shape has changed from a boy to a man.This person looks very old in class, partly because of his thickened shoulder and pectoral muscles, partly because of the self-esteem of the repeater, who likes to pretend to be old in front of Xiao Gaoyi.But anyone can see Yao's embarrassing situation. The class teacher never hides his impatience towards him, and especially likes to use him as an example to scare others: "Isn't it enough to repeat a grade? It is expected that you don’t have to suffer from the entrance exam, so you can go back to the south as an apprentice..."

Yao, who was fined to stand by the blackboard, was wearing a white narrow khaki suit custom-made by Zhonghua Mall, and small flared trousers with pointed leather shoes. None of them conformed to the school rules, but the sadness of repentance always appeared on his face, which made it hard to tell the truth from the truth. Fake.After class, the other students didn't know what to do, so they could only avoid disturbing her.My seat is right next to Yao, and although I don’t usually interact much, when this happens, I always wait for Yao to return to his seat and silently put my notes from a class on his desk.

Many children from the central and southern regions come to the north to take the high school entrance exam, and Yao is also the kind of student who goes north early to study.It is conceivable that the parents in his hometown are so happy that he was admitted to the star high school in the north.That expression might not be faked.Seeing the guy in the classroom with the lights off, you don't need to guess to know that he owes a lot of essays.

The semester is almost over, and the man is desperately trying to make up his homework.After this semester, everyone will be grouped into classes again at the beginning of the second year of high school.I chose the social group, and my father, who is a teacher, didn't object. He thought it would be good if he could pass some special exam and hold a public office in the future.In the era of heavy engineering, students in the social group will definitely not stay in the same class.Standing outside the classroom, thinking about the past year, it seems that I have no special memories.

If you really want to say it, maybe it is the repeater surnamed Yao?Out of the concern of my peers, I often pay attention to whether Yao's grades have improved. I wonder what he is busy with every day. Why is he always missing homework and being punished?

Because of his carelessness, because of the stubble that he would be warned by the instructor if he didn’t shave for two days, because of his desk and chair stuffed with sneakers, sweatpants, comics, homework, and reference books, I couldn’t ignore Yao’s existence.

Yao is used to leaving things at school and not taking them home, and students from other places have no home of their own.After one semester, his sundries continued to expand, and he added umbrellas, swimming trunks, undershirts, basketball, and carpentry for craft classes, which was quite impressive.Some are stuffed in the drawers of desks and chairs, some are hidden under the seats, or hung on the backs of the chairs. At first glance, it seems that some homeless man sneaked in to build a siege when no one was in the classroom after school. nest.

Seeing someone approaching, Yao didn't stop writing and glanced at me hastily. "Kakakaka, I'm done. If I can't make up my Chinese language today, I will be regarded as a Chinese language!"

I was amazed that the guy was in such a good mood.

"Why haven't you come home yet?"

"Just finished the club practice."

The guy stopped writing. "Show me your guitar," he said.

Unexpectedly, after taking over the guitar, Yao Xingxing began to play it like a cloud, the prelude to Kim Cloche's "Years in a Bottle".I only played the intro, and when the singing part was about to come out, he stopped and returned the guitar to me.

"I broke my throat," the man said.

The two did not speak next.I didn't intend to leave, and the other party didn't mind if someone was watching him all the time.The campus became very quiet, and the melody that Yao played just now seemed to be still floating in the air.Suddenly I found this scene interesting. I imagined that I was also a student away from home, and Yao was roommates. We often slept in the small room we rented together at night like this.

Roommate, what a new term.Not a classmate, not a brother, or a roommate.I am the eldest in my family, and I have two younger siblings, one in elementary school and the other in elementary school.When I got home, the most common words I said to my younger siblings were: "Get out! Don't come into my room casually!" But at dusk that day, I was alone with Yao in the corner of the classroom, a pretend room, for the first time. I found out that when boys are together, they don't necessarily have to eat ice hockey in groups.

"You sing to me."

"why?"

"Because I think you should sing very well."

"why?"

"Because your voice is so beautiful!"

The guy didn't look up, he turned up the composition book and counted how many pages he had written, and then continued to scribble.

"How do you make it sound nice?"

"Hmm... that is, the kind that will make you feel comfortable when you listen to it before going to bed."

"Oh, you mean, a midnight radio announcer like Lee Ji-joon?"

I don't know how funny this sentence is, but it caused the guy to puff at first, and then he couldn't control it: "Hahaha——yes, hahaha, just like that."

Usually, Yao Ai puts on a cool face, or smiles wickedly with the corners of her mouth crooked.It turned out that the man laughed like this.His cheerful smile is so beautiful, and I laughed too.

★

Yao's looks are not handsome, at least in the period when he was still shaved and rustic, he would not be the type that would impress people at first glance.Among the facial features, his nose is a bit too big, his face is crowded with red sores, and his neat white teeth are probably his biggest plus point.But his laughter makes people feel very warm, and the repeater who is usually idle is not naughty at all.The Yao in front of him can almost be said to be a charming combination, a man with a childlike innocence.

At the moment when only the two of them were alone, that guy seemed to be a different person.Sure enough, he sang the song "Years in a Bottle" for him.Yao asked me to sing another song, saying that doing homework would not be boring.But this time Yao didn't listen to the song quietly. While I was singing, Yao interrupted and chatted with me.

"ㄟ②Let me tell you, I encountered a very strange thing a few days ago."

Yao's tone was flat and slow, and the ups and downs echoed the strings of the guitar subtly, with a strange gentleness.I wait for the other party to continue speaking.

"It's almost twelve o'clock at night—huh? I also forgot what I was doing that day. Yes, I was playing billiards with my former classmates. Anyway, I often hang out on the street until late. It's not important. It's almost twelve o'clock Yes. I was at the train station. I waited for a long time for the bus and it didn’t come. It’s probably closed, so I just wanted to go. It’s okay. Then a car stopped beside me. I think I’m waiting for the bus The car seemed to be nearby. When the car stopped, a man in his 30s rolled down the window and asked me if I needed a ride. The man was dressed in a neat suit and was quite handsome. I think it’s okay Ah, there’s nothing to worry about for a boy to hitch a ride, right? Chatting in the car, I didn’t notice that he seemed to be taking a long way. I told him that I lived in a student suite outside, and he asked me how much I paid a month. Then he told me that it was very expensive, and that his house had a lot of vacant rooms, so he could rent it to me with a [-]% discount. Usually he is away on business trips, so it means that I live alone in [-] ping[-], and he also hopes that someone will look after the house for peace of mind. Go and have a look if you think about it, maybe it will really give me such good luck—”

The chords are out of tune.Is it because boys from the countryside like Yao don't know how to guard against others?Or are Taipei kids like me too wary of the world?

Suddenly I don't want the other party to continue talking, but at the same time I really want to know what happened later.

"When we got to his house, he said it was too late. Or just sleep in his place. His house is Neihu. I was already tired, so I wanted to say stop running around. There was only one bed in his house. But two boys, what is there to be afraid of, right? I fell asleep after taking a shower, and woke up after a while to find him lying next to me, touching my side with his hands. Fuck! I jumped up and taught He doesn’t want to be like this, it’s very pervertedㄝ⑤! I was really sleepy, but he wouldn’t let me sleep, and kept touching me. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and told him I was going back.”

"Then he... that person drove you back?"

"Of course not. I told him I wanted to take a taxi and gave me 500 yuan. It was almost five in the morning when I left. I ended up walking to the terminus and waiting for the first bus."

Imagine that there is no music in the small room rented by the CCP.Yao said that he did not expect to earn 500 yuan for him.

Started to feel dizzy.On the bus commuting to and from school, I also encountered similar uncomfortable things.

In the space of the can of sardines, someone is behind.Not accidental bumps, but regular, continuous, towards the same part of the body.In the crowd of people in the carriage, where it is impossible to even turn around and look back, they can only pretend to be unresponsive when encountering this kind of thing, closing their eyes and silently reciting English words.I never asked any of my classmates if they had had this disgusting and overwhelming experience, because it was hard to talk about.

ashamed.Why pick yourself?

Shock.What kind of person would be so bold?

An invisible alarm bell in the subconscious has been ringing from time to time.Now that I think about it, the sneaky and vulgar behavior of only daring to caress the other person like an animal has quietly activated my sudden self-awareness of my body.

I've developed a nearly adult male body.

There is an even more important reason for not daring to mention the bus incident to anyone.What I really hate is the sneak attack, not that someone is so interested in my body.

When I was in middle school, I often held hands and hooked shoulders with my better male classmates. The whole person lay on the other's hot back, and there was a very reassuring intimacy.But after entering high school, the students in the class seldom have similar playful behaviors.Why did other people understand it before me?Understand that what everyone has now is a different body, no longer regardless of each other.The current tool will have different uses in the future, and it's not like I don't know the answer at the age of 17.But thinking that this body will become a tool for reproductive production, and thinking of facing a girl naked, my panic is no less than that of being bumped by a strange man.

The sneak attack on the bus made me feel filthy, not because my body was violated, but because I was picked on by such filthy people and became the object of obscenity.This seems to imply that I am basically the same as them.

I am afraid that I may have emitted some kind of unknowing obscenity, and I have been recognized by the other party, just to intimidate: Your existence has been discovered, don't want to continue to pretend, we can kidnap you at any time, Take you back to the world you should belong to, if you dare to submit...

But Yao actually said this kind of thing so frankly in front of others.

So is it my turn to talk about what happened on the bus?After exchanging this kind of secret, everyone is considered buddies, isn't it?I anxiously avoided Yao's gaze.

Maybe it's just an episode of adventure in the growth process of a young boy, or maybe it's a prelude to the revelation of fate.Not daring to disturb Yao, he acted nonchalantly, and was suppressed by an invisible air pressure, as if at that moment, any extra reaction would trigger a landslide in his life.

Yao tried to smile at me, and the bony outline of the guy's face stood out in the twilight, like a plaster head.Yao has been watching me, as if expecting some further response from me.Not daring to raise his eyes to look at Yao's expression, his eyes fell on his thighs that were tightly wrapped by his white khaki uniform that did not conform to school regulations.The optic nerve is no longer under the command of his own consciousness, and automatically adjusts to close-up focus.

Between Yao's crotch, a bulging ridge protrudes.Some kind of abstract relief art, a metaphor for primitive passion.

"You - hurry up and write your composition!"

He tried his best to pretend to be calm, but he still heard the uncontrollable tremor in his voice.Yao looked down at his crotch, then turned his eyes back to my face.

"Have you ever met 'that kind of person'?"

He put away his smile.I seemed to see Yao when he was reprimanded by the class teacher. It was hard to tell whether he was sincerely admitting his mistakes or pretending to be remorseful, with that innocent but apologetic expression on his face that seemed to stay out of the matter.

that kind of person.I will always remember Yao's wording.In my impression, it was the first time in my life that I confirmed the existence of "that kind of person" from other people's mouth.A synonym for perversion, like an invisible curse.Yao and I immediately spat in disgust, as if that would erase the evidence of "that kind of person" creeping around us.

The light in the classroom became thinner, and it was almost impossible to see each other's faces.Perhaps subconsciously, what we were waiting for was this moment when the sun faded completely.Only in the darkness, our restlessness, our curiosity, our depression and loneliness will not leave a shadow and become a memory that will be entangled and accompanied forever in the future.

We're not going to be that kind of people.

★

Yao suddenly stood up from his seat.The figure, outline, and expression all became gray, leaving only sounds and smells.The sound of breathing became thicker, is it his panting or his panting?The smell of bleach water that lingered after swimming lessons still lingered on each other's bodies, which coolly awakened the memory of the body being stressed in the water.Yao suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled it towards the bulge between his legs.I closed my eyes and grasped the slight beating under my palm.

At that moment, it occurred to me that maybe I was trying to crush a live mouse.

Yao held me down with one hand, and unzipped his crotch with the other.Facing the inflated nakedness, the originally excited and apprehensive mood suddenly turned into sadness and loss.It turned out that there was a rogue and incompetent traitor living in my body, but he ordered me around.This crawling subterranean reptile, smelling the smell of stinging stings, has already begun to share the secret of pleasure with those obscene men on the bus.

I can't stand against this traitor.

As if being kidnapped by this traitor, the only thing in my mind at the moment is to obey, so that this matter can pass quickly.There was no such thing as bullying in those days.In those days, I didn't say anything about many things.Especially for the kind of body-soul conflict that I experienced at that moment, which felt inferior and could not be restrained.Even though it was dirty, I stuck out my tongue.

In the ancient times before the video recorder was invented, pornography had not penetrated into every family to take on the function of sex education, and the sexual fantasies I had at the age of 17 were limited to hugs and kisses.I don't even remember what kind of reaction there was in my crotch during those two or three hasty minutes.I am not ready to coexist with the impulsive and anxious traitor in my heart, but the confusion, embarrassment, panic, and strangeness that happened in those few seconds are always on the tip of my tongue, and I am relieved.

But at the same time, the 17-year-old me hated that Yao Jing didn't even have a decent hug or affectionate kiss.

Hate Yao has seen through himself. (Will he speak out?) I hate that I can only live in more panic in the future. From that moment on, I have to start thinking about how to hide myself better from now on? (Is it really just like this? Will it happen again?) Why can such a casual teasing method easily remove my defenses, could it be——

Yao reached out to wipe it for me, but I pushed it away.

Silently propped up from the kneeling posture, swaying slightly.The lights on the basketball court in the distance have been turned on.Holding on to the corner of the table and unable to walk, I accidentally caught a glimpse of my guitar, lying alone on the terrazzo floor that was licked by a mop after class and was still wet.At this time, an arm wrapped around my shoulders and chest came from behind, and then Yao's hoarse voice appeared next to my ear, and the hot and humid exhalation was blown into my neckline:

"Okay, I'm sorry!...Didn't it be intentional...I told you I'm sorry, don't be angry! You can't tell others, okay?...But it was really exciting just now!...No I understand why she just won't help me with my bitch!"

★

At that time, Yao, the repeater who was one year older than me, was rude and sloppy, but it made me understand for the first time that a man’s sexiness also had a kind of stupid security, like a dog that doesn’t know why the light will stick out. Tongue stared blankly at the little leopard at the end of the grassland.

Men's sexiness is best to be lazy and forgetful.Because he no longer remembers you, he becomes an insurmountable scale in your experience.

So in Yao's eyes, I, who was holding his fountain of youth in the twilight, seemed pious?Or humble?At that time, I thought that there would never be a day to discuss this topic with Yao.There is no need to swear a tacit understanding, everything about that day, I thought it would be over as soon as I walked out of the classroom.

The second year of high school was divided into two groups, and Yao and Yao entered different classes, and the classrooms were located on different floors. The chances of bumping into each other in the corridor or welfare agency were almost slim.

In a blink of an eye, the entrance exam entered the countdown.At the school celebration party before graduation, I took the guitar club students to the stage for the last performance at school.

In the afternoon, the campus was full of stalls, and the grand party attracted students from various schools in Taipei. In the closed boys' school, there were so many girls all of a sudden, which made the atmosphere on the campus even more lively.After finishing the final rehearsal in the auditorium, carrying a newly replaced steel-string guitar, walking past the happy crowd, I accidentally glanced at it out of the corner of my eye.Standing in front of the tarot fortune-telling tent with a crystal ball, a familiar figure stood.Yao Ruifeng hugged a girl, their faces were almost touching.His gaze moved down involuntarily, and he saw Yao's long legs tightly hugged by the trousers, slightly opened at thirty degrees, from behind the girl who was a head shorter than him, and straddled the other's waistline.He thought he was drawing cards to ask about the entrance exam, because immediately he heard Yao cheering: "Wow, is that true? You will do well in the exam?" Yao's exaggerated tone was caught in the girl's happy laughter, which was also so masculine and hoarse.

"Eh?——Zhong Shuyuan?"

Unable to escape, he had to stop.

"This is my girlfriend," Yao Yi stretched out his arms and pulled me closer to them, "This is Xiao Zhong, we were in the same class in the first year of high school."

Is it the same "horse"?Or was it changed again?Of course I'm not stupid enough to really ask.

"Do you want to draw one?" Yao asked.I shake my head.Then Yao saw the guitar in my hand and started bragging to the girl about how good I was at playing and singing by myself, and then asked me if I was going to perform on stage tonight.

"Baby, Xiao Zhong is going to perform, I want to stay and listen to it... Let's watch the movie another day, let's go eat first, and come back to watch Xiao Zhong's performance after eating... Xiao Zhong, what song do you want to sing today?"

"Years in a bottle."

"Oh."

Yao blinked, but still had a smile on his face, "Then I'm going to listen to it, your famous song!"

Yes, coming here to applaud my last performance in high school is also considered a kind of compensation for me, is it considered compensation?The acid and anger that stirred up in my heart at that time was already a preview of my constant bumps in the emotional road in the future.

I'm not the only one.There are too many people in the circle who are as wishful thinking as I was back then.

I always say that a one-night stand is nothing, but I never believe that to another person, it is just a one-night stand.What's more, he obviously didn't really feel that he liked him, but he couldn't accept that the other party just rubbed his mouth.No, no, it’s not because you like boys. How to explain to me who was almost made to cry by Yao in front of the fortune-telling booth at the garden party: The same is true for heterosexuality. Some people want to attack, and others need to know how to defend.When you know how to play the offensive side, once you succeed in boldness, you will no longer be like an old maid who always falls into the sorrow of not being able to defend.understand?understand--?

In the early days of summer and spring, in April, the temperature was close to hot during the day, but it began to drop sharply at night, and it became a chill that made people hug their chests.

I didn't go home immediately after the performance, nor did I sit in the auditorium to watch the next performance. I stood alone outside the backstage side door of the auditorium, waiting.Wait for your own hesitation, disappointment and nervousness to stop the noise.I thought that after they stopped accusing and ridiculing each other, I could go back to the self who went home directly after the guitar club practice in the first year of high school.In this way, I can breathe a sigh of relief and suddenly realize that there was actually no one in the classroom that evening, and the boy who was catching up on the seat by the window was just my imagination.

The folk dance club in front of the stage came on stage, and the music started. It was a Russian folk song that I rehearsed over and over again in the afternoon until I knew how to hum it.The schoolmates invited Bei Yi Girl's Folk Dance Club to perform on the same stage. Sure enough, the cheers from the audience were thunderous, and even standing outside the auditorium, one could feel the commotion in estrus.The boiling hormones turned into multicolored balloons, and at the same time, they continued to emit a series of explosions as egg-shaped bubbles were burst by delirium.The progress of youth in the auditorium is so far away from me.

The wind outside was even colder.

It wasn't until I understood that there was nothing to wait for, so I silently moved in the cool night, and walked towards the blue light of the street lamp surrounded by moths in the direction of the school gate.

★

Luckily, I was admitted to the Northern Public University, but it was an unpopular department that I had no interest in.After the second year of high school, they lost contact with Yao Ruifeng completely.He didn't even attempt to find out where Yao was admitted to later.

But I haven't forgotten.

In the picture of memories, the other party has blurred into a shadow.What Yao left for me was an atmosphere, an electric induction, and an inflatable figure.Descriptive details have long since been replaced by different strangers.On the campus or in the bookstore, the faces that make the eyes stop involuntarily are reposted on the silhouette of the human figure.The color, fragrance and touch taste, transfer flowers to trees, and there will be an updated version when masturbating.

In the era when Beta videos had not been defeated by VHS, the secret passage in the rental shop led to hidden compartments that were darkened.The wall is full of pirated copies, with sensational and ugly words such as "Playboy's best version", "European sexy and hot sex scene" and so on.In comparison, I actually prefer those photos on the packaging of various men's underwear on the supermarket shelves.The undefended innocent smiles of the male models in underwear greeted my hunger and thirst. They naturally bared half of their body with joy, and the erections between their crotches were faintly visible, as if they were the works of gods, and they should have been selflessly dedicated to the world. My imagination is wild.It was not until the manager of the supermarket approached that I realized how strange my actions looked to others. I hurriedly turned around, and then slowly walked away from the scene pretending to be calm towards the exit.

Knowing its taste, but never really eating the marrow, is the last line of defense I keep, deceiving myself and others.

Once, the bewildering physical contact with strangers on the bus has now become a paradoxical redemption to release me.Those brief coincidences and skillful teasing are like a quick and short confession, acknowledging their own sins and forgiving each other.The ceremony of joining the club is done in secret, without disturbing anyone.More importantly, the message of survival is conveyed through this.Our stories are tacit to each other.The palms holding the lever leaned together secretly, and the calf touched lightly as if there was nothing, without unnecessary involvement, and everything returned to zero after getting off the car.

On the journey without any further details, the short companionship comforted the two strangers at the right time.After turning around, we can muster up the courage to return to the heterosexual world, continue to live in silence, and start to get used to insomnia.

I always wake up suddenly for unknown reasons, and the radio next to my pillow is left on all night, and the rustling and unknown news sounds like a subconscious radar call for help.The same ICRT channel, the same low volume, the sound waves are like water, like standing on the bank of the night, and the invisible boats on the river are sending distant singing.Several of Phil Collins' hit songs, One More Night, Take a Look at Me Now, always seem to play at the same time.Otherwise, Glenn Frey's The One You Love, George Michael's The Careless Whisper, are the whispers of sad men.

Is it possible that one day, love songs sung by men to men can also be played publicly like this, and become popular all over the world?

How far is it from that day?

In the early morning when I couldn't fall asleep again, I could only sneak back to curl up in the confused secret room in my heart, listening to the dust storm in the outside world getting closer and closer step by step.I feel like an escaped prisoner, hiding in a remote small hotel, thinking of my innocent life in the past.Thinking that this life will be against such a long and endless loneliness, in the future, there are only two choices.Armed up and ready to be beaten to death, ready to pretend to the end, or else, have a vigorous talk about a love cursed by this world, and then... Will there be an aftermath?

This small hiding place, which will be destroyed by wind and sand at any time, can't even accommodate another person to depend on him.

I can hardly go to and from class normally, and I can't interact normally with my classmates in college. The only time I feel safe is when I pick up the guitar and become different infatuated characters in other people's chords. .

Because only at this time, no one will doubt the object of my love song.

①? Timeinabottle sung by Jim Croce.

②? That is the pinyin ei.

③? Play billiards.

④? About 132.16 square meters.

⑤? That is the pinyin ê, or the e of ie, üe.