Cupid winks

What? "

"Playing basketball, watching movies, bartending."

"Barending?"

"Invent all kinds of cocktails," I said.And I said, "He didn't become a scientist."

The man laughed and asked me, "Does he have any tattoos?"

"No, he doesn't like the feeling of giving himself up to someone else.

"Does he smoke?"

"Only draw one card."

"Marlboro?"

I glanced at the man and nodded.I said, "His father only smokes this."

The man said: "When you are poor, you pick up other people's cigarette butts to smoke. When you are rich, you smoke this. Foreign cigarettes are stylish and high-grade. When others see your cigarette case, they will look at you with admiration."

I smiled: "Is it so vain?

The man said: "At that time, the Japanese saw you smoking American cigarettes and knew you had a background, while the Americans saw you smoking American cigarettes and thought you had good taste and were not a bumpkin.

I said, "Oh, that's about the same as it is now.

The man said, "The world never changes."

I asked him, "Has he grown into the person you expected?"

The man asked me: "Is he happy?"

I said, "I don't know."

He asked me again: "Is he happy?"

I said, "I think he's in pain."

"Pain for what? Pain for what?"

I said: "He is a very loving person, I have never seen a more gentle person than him, but...

The man interrupted me: "Is he really such a person?"

"What do you mean?" I looked at the man, "I have known him for so long, I went to his house, and I still know, you told me about his life experience, I know his mother, his second brother, his younger brother, their family I know very well, we get along very well, we go for a drive together, have dinner together, I went to the recording studio and listened to his brother recording records, rapped, and went to the bar he opened, the bar opened, we went to drink together ..."

The man interrupted me again: "If a person has known you for a long time, has been to your house, knows your life experience, knows your parents, your brothers and sisters, you think he understands you, does he understand you?"

I said, "What are you trying to say, what exactly do you mean?"

The man said: "You can only truly understand him if you become him."

I shouted: "I don't want to understand him, I just love him, I just want him to love me too!"

The man said, "You're still so young, and you still have a lot of opportunities to love and be loved."

I said, "You are so old, don't you still miss Ah Hua?"

The man said: "I just miss him, I don't want him to love me or anything. I don't want to see him, if I want to see him, I will..." The man paused, "I will go to see him immediately, This is me."

I said: "Some people, you will remember them all your life, there is no way, I also want to forget, I want to quit, I went around for four months before looking for him, I lived with him for half a month, I moved out , I watch movies with other people, eat, go to bed, go to bed normally, I feel good, very comfortable, and after feeling good, I think of him."

I said: "There has never been a person who makes me miss and worry so much. It's not the first time I love someone. I..."

The man interrupted me for the third time: "He may not be in pain at all, but you are the only one in pain."

My throat was itchy, my heart was on fire, and I hurriedly said: "What do you know? You are not him, what do you know??"

"You're not him either."

"I know him!" I took a sip of my drink, "I know everything about him, why he became like this, I know he has feelings for me, it's just him...he's like this now! I can't help it , he can't do anything!"

The man is still talking: "You know him from what you see him, what you hear from him, what you hear about him from other people, and what you know is what he shows."

"So what? Does that affect my liking for him?"

"No," said the man, "affects nothing, changes nothing.

I took another sip of wine, I drank the wine in my own glass, lit a cigarette, took two puffs, and threw it into the glass.I said: "Who do you think you are? What do you know? You don't know anything at all! You don't know anything about me! You love summarizing so much, you love summarizing other people's lives and giving them life guidance, why do you Why don’t you open a psychological clinic and list it for business? What bar do you come to, who do you invite to drink, can you control me?” I asked the man, “Why did you order wine and not drink it? Then why did you order it?”

I stared at the man, staring at him: "Are you Afeng?"

"Are you Nine Fingers Ah Fung?"

"Everyone in Four Seasons Square knows you. The Lu family has your photos. Old photos. You don't look like you. You know, you don't look like the person in the photo. He should be more energetic. If he gets old, he will definitely I won’t become like you, hiding in the corner of a small bar, and educating people here by relying on myself to eat decades more than others.”

"If you are Ah Feng, you fled from Taiwan to the mainland, and you fled from the mainland to Sri Lanka, and they all said that you dare to love and hate, and you are willing to be kind and enmity, I think you are a coward, what are you hiding? "

The man smiled, the corners of his mouth twitching, looking very strange.He said: "If you want to understand him, you have to be him."

What he said was even weirder.

I said, "Crazy!"

I couldn't sit any longer, propped myself up on the table, and stood up abruptly, my calves were still heavy, and my head was dizzy, but I had to stand up and walk, I had to get out of here.I was fed up with the man's gentle tone and calm attitude. I tried my best to take a step forward, but my walking was unsteady, and I stumbled. I hurriedly supported the table next to me. Look over, eyes wide open.

I leaned on the table and walked to the wall, and moved into the toilet while leaning on the wall.

The toilet is a single toilet, with a washstand and a toilet. Something is burning in an incense burner on the washstand, and wisps of blue smoke are wafting out.There is a mirror on the wall.

I locked the door, washed my face in cold water, and glanced in my glasses.Who is that in the mirror?

Beard Raza, hair like a bird's nest, so dark, from forehead to chin, from ears to neck are so tanned.His eyes were bloodshot, and his eyes were cloudy, as if he was about to cry.

Is this person me?

I am shorter than Lu Ying, only a little shorter, and a little whiter than him. I shave every day, and my hair will cover my ears, but it will never be sloppy. Some people think my eyes are fierce, and some people like them. Animals that often have to go out and hunt by themselves.They also said that my people are like those animals, wolves, tigers and leopards, too wild, difficult to control, difficult to control.Why would a person want to control another person?Why not allow another person to be yourself? Isn't love just one person loving another person?Why do you need them to run in and fit in with each other?Want them to cooperate with each other?That's marriage, that's the tomb of love, that's people quarreling and arguing...

I am willing to cooperate with s.But if I cooperate with him, is it really what he wants?What does he want?if i were him...

I am Lu Ying, and I am the third child in my family. I have never met my elder brother. My elder brother has returned to the Lord and belongs to the Lord. My second brother always stays in his own room. He belongs to a science fiction In the world, my mother smiles very gently, and my mother is very gentle to everyone, and my mother will stand alone in the yard and smoke.Mom can read in Japanese softly.Dad is very busy, sometimes mom and dad will dance, many people come to the house, everyone dances, applauds, and cheers, as if there are only happy days in the world, every day is happy, every night is happy.Mom would put on a smock and sit in the yard, stroking her ankles, smoking a cigarette in the moonlight.

I was afraid of being thrown into the sea to feed the fish.

I want to control my own destiny.That's how I grew up.

An unhappy, homeless child always lives in my heart.I can't drive him away.Will someone come to take him away, will someone come to tell him where his home is.

I want to talk to that child, S, Lu Ying, Xiao Ying.Let me talk to him, let me tell him that there is a scared, homeless child living in my heart, after a woman and a man had a violent argument on such and such a day down.Let's play together, climb trees, throw sandbags, and throw firecrackers.

Let me talk to Yu Chunnuan, Xiao Yu, He He.

I tell you, don't be afraid, don't be afraid that no one loves you, don't be afraid that the person you love doesn't love you, you are so young, you are not young, you are getting old, there are people like you.There are many people like you in the world.You feel uncomfortable, and your uncomfortableness falls into the ocean of uncomfortableness, and you cannot see it.

I want to s.

I'm going back to Taipei tomorrow, I wish I could go to him now, he doesn't need to give me his body, his heart, his soul, he doesn't need to say he loves me.If he can't do this, I won't force him.I will still suffer, be sad, and suffer, and I will not force myself to blur or numb these feelings.

I want to see s right now, I'm going to call him.I don't want to kill myself, I don't want to be reborn, what I want to do now, I will do it now.

I punched the mirror and walked out.

The man disappeared, and the bartender followed me, kneeling on the ground to wipe the blood on the floor.Someone knocked on the windowpane, I glanced at it, and it was the man standing outside knocking on the window, he motioned to me with his mouth: "Let's go for a walk."

5.

I looked at the time, it was almost eight o'clock, and I looked outside the house again, the rain stopped, leaving many large and small ponds on the narrow road.The moon is out.On the low wall opposite the bar, several squares of lights were lit up, each framed in their own or blue