Cupid winks

On the table: "That's why I'm miserable, I'm so miserable."

I touched the man's wine glass, sat up a bit, and took a sip of the wine in his glass. It was indeed whiskey, it wasn't very iced, and I had a hot throat.I coughed, put down my wine glass, held it, looked at the ice cubes floating in it, and said, "I went to bed with the doctor, and he asked me if I was interested in threesomes. I was interested in something. I tried to hint him. He took me to his house. He said, wait a minute, my friend will come right away. I said, ok, I'm going to take a shower. I took a shower and went out, and s came He didn't ask anything, didn't say anything." I drank the wine in the man's glass again, and I almost finished the wine, when several pieces of ice collided with each other, making a crisp sound.

I raised my eyes to look at the man, and said: "S tie the doctor up with a red rope, I light a candle, and burn the doctor's nipple ring with the candle, he is very excited all of a sudden, hard, hard ,s Put a holster under him, tighten it tight, he barks, sounds like pain. His ears get really red and hot to the touch, we role play, he's a bitch, S is a strict master, I am an ignorant but sentimental passer-by, this cheap dog is so cheap, rubbing the feet of passers-by under the nose of the master, begging, please, begging, he kissed me so much that he flinched , I held him down and kissed him very hard."

I smothered the rest of the whiskey in the glass in one breath.I said: "S also kissed him, and I kissed him again, and S also penetrated, and I also penetrated."

"After the doctor fell asleep, I went to the living room to watch TV. S came to talk to me. He was talking to me while he was getting dressed, and he asked me if I wanted to go back together. I asked him, are you sleeping here? He said, he I went home to sleep. His house, when I lived in his house, I lived in his house at that time, I shared a room with him and slept in the same bed. S’s younger brother was studying in the United States, and when he came back from summer vacation, he saw me , asked me if I came to marry s, he said, Taiwan can now register for marriage."

I smiled: "S's second brother asked me, are you the third boy's boyfriend?"

The man said, "You said so."

I stuttered: "If it sounds good, let me say it a few more times."

I lay prone on the table with my head resting on my arms, probably because I drank too much wine, I felt a little dizzy and sleepy.I said, "If my mom hadn't been diagnosed with breast cancer, she wouldn't have come to see me."

I thought: "The Bucket List was on TV that night. I thought, this is a great idea, I'm going to make a bucket list too."

"I'm not terminally ill. Manager Fan wants us to go for a physical examination every month." I hiccupped, "It's the place where we work, the massage parlor, the manager who will come again."

The man murmured: "Manager Fan..."

I nodded and looked at him: "I'm also a widowed old man. I haven't had a companion all my life. Maybe it's because I don't have a companion. Take care of this and that." I said, "He is a good person." It’s not bad, although he keeps scolding us, fuck, he’s the same, haha,” I rubbed my eyes and yawned, “He scolded Xiaobao the most, Xiaobao, he Those who are very light sleepers have difficulty falling asleep, and can only fall asleep when they are very relaxed."

I did drink too much, and when I speak, I have no clue, no logic at all, just say whatever comes to mind, my mouth is no longer controlled by my brain, my brain is always one step behind my mouth, I Think about it, what I just said... I looked at the man and said, "Sorry, I drank too much."

The man smiled, and looked at me with his eyes, but he didn't seem to be looking at me.Aside from me, what is he looking at?I looked at him, looked at him, separated him, and saw something...

I was shocked.

I see my own reflection.

I asked, "Is that you?"

The man nodded: "It's me."

What am I asking and what is the man answering?I'm drunk, is he drunk too?

Have we started some psychedelic movie yet?

Movie……

I said: "Watch a movie with me, pork buns with human meat, I want officials, peeping... I am in the bathhouse, I can't afford to rent a house, I go to the bathhouse when I can't afford a hotel, large bathhouses have lounges Yes, later I helped people scrub in the bathhouse, I slept there, the lounge, I watched whatever was on the [-]-inch TV in the lounge, I watched a lot of Hong Kong movies, Young and Dangerous, The Stormtrooper, Hua Yingxiong, a bold and unrestrained woman from the Tang Dynasty, Wulongyuan, this one is from Taiwan, right?"

The man said: "Where do you live, I will take you back."

"you drive?"

"I can call you a car."

I looked around the bar: "Do you think this bar will close down? No one is there."

I frowned: "Are you real?"

I want to laugh: "You can't be my hallucination, are you...are you the old me?"

I reached out to touch the man and I touched his face.His muscles are so loose, his skin is not rough, and it feels cold to the touch.He is real.

I withdrew my hand and lowered my head regretfully: "I really drank too much."

I closed my eyes, buried my head in my arms, and said, "I can't commit suicide. Like you said, I didn't prepare well, so I made a bucket list, and I fulfilled one by one. Think of killing myself bit by bit. When I fulfill all my wishes, I will treat myself as dead, and I will go back to S, and I will be revived in his place, to be a person who can cooperate with him, to live like him I need someone. Maybe because I don’t have big ambitions, getting some love becomes the top priority, and people still need to cultivate some hobbies... Do you have any hobbies? Fishing or golf?"

"Go for a walk," the man said.

I said: "Let's go to Yingchun Road to watch a movie, a foreign movie, a lot of beds. There are people playing next to the movie. On the plane, I want to cry. I also drank a lot of wine that day. I cried, and I told S that this The heroine in the movie is miserable, and there is only one box every time she moves."

"Every time I move, there is only one cardboard box. I didn't tell s. The next day, s gave me a suitcase. I warned him, be careful, you are so good to me, be careful of me Falling in love with you, no one has ever been so kind to me."

Not only did I drink too much, but I also talked more, thought more, recalled more, and the details became richer and richer. The appearance of S also became more specific, more vivid, and more real.

I stretched out my hand, and I touched the ice-cold wine glass.I raised my head and saw an old man sitting in front of me with a kind and amiable face.He is a real person, could he be memory itself.All memories are stale, old, waiting to be corrupted, waiting to die with death.

Everything is like yesterday.

I sat up, wiped my face, I was sweating, and I said: "S ask me why you should be careful when you fall in love with me."

I said: "He watched movies with me and watched me write with paper and pen. He asked me why I wanted to go to Sri Lanka. I said, I saw photos of tea gardens in Sri Lanka in your study. He said, you went to the tea garden of my father's friend." You can find him. I said, I don't want it. He nodded. He said, I don't want you to become like them. Who are they talking about? They are talking about his m, his slaves, his dogs. I said , I get it, I get it. I said, if I meet someone better than you, I won't come back. He said...

"He actually asked me, and asked me, will I meet someone better than you?"

I asked the man, "How could he do this?"

"Damn it," said the man

I said, "It's going to kill me, it's going to kill me."

The man asked me, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I looked at the man, I looked at him, and I said, "I'm in Galle, Sri Lanka, I'm fine, I'm thinking about you, I'm thinking about you, withering while I'm thinking, waiting for me to go back to Taiwan , as soon as it rains in Taiwan, I will come back to life and live again."

The man looked at me and said: "That morning, you woke me up excitedly and said, don't sleep, don't sleep, let me tell you, I met a girl at Lao Su's place last night, she is so beautiful, Japanese, her name is Fumiko, hey, do you feel like you are in love when you say her name?"

My heart was beating fast again, and I felt that I should say something, ask something, s...he knows s, does he know s, he is...does he...

I didn't say it, I couldn't ask, I panicked, he knew s, he knew s, then he no longer belongs to the category of "strangers", we are no longer two isolated individuals, like a couple, They love each other, love is only a matter of the two of them, and has nothing to do with other people, but when they want to marry, they will have relationships with dozens or hundreds of other people, and the lovers may break up.Lovers will part ways because of this.

I keep my mouth shut, cover my chin with my hand, and smoke.The man was also silent.He looked remorseful.

Fumiko, the name that gives people the feeling of being in love breaks a delicate balance.

I asked s what it was like to write your mother's name in Chinese.Fumiko.He wrote it to me.I said, wow, rich and beautiful, your mother lives up to her name. S said, yes, there are three sons.son.

I laughed when I heard it, and after I finished, I stroked his hair and asked him, have you ever wondered who your biological mother is?Where are people now. S didn't speak, but shook his head.

I shook my head and didn't want to say anything.

4.

I wanted to walk and tried to stand up, but my calves couldn't make any effort, my head felt heavy, my whole body felt heavy, and I felt dizzy when I moved a little.Blame the two cocktails and the half whiskey.My alcohol capacity should be more than this, I and