Cupid winks

Has Po ever seen an elephant? "

I shook my head.

I heard the brother say again: "This is the secret of the brother and Xiaobao, let's not tell others, okay?"

I was sick when I went back that night.I can't afford to be sick.I always cough and have a low-grade fever, and it doesn’t get better until the Spring Festival. On the first day of the Lunar New Year, my parents will come. I was still in bed on the New Year’s Eve. I heard the sound of firecrackers outside, so I got up and opened my eyes. Nothing but the pitch black night.I also heard the sound of chanting sutras, and the temple had to watch the year. This was the most prosperous and lively time of the year in Yunyuan Temple, and many people from all over the world were waiting to grab the first incense of the new year.

Brother came to see me with a bowl of bean paste yuanxiao.He fed me Yuanxiao, and told me that the secrets between senior brother and Xiaobao are not even allowed to be told by parents.

I asked in a daze, if I told the secret, would my brother ignore me?The senior brother smiled but didn't speak.I said, I won't say it.My brother and I hooked up.The senior brother said that it would be fine to cover the heat and sweat all over.

I was burnt in a daze, and the bowl of Yuanxiao was also in a daze, and I couldn’t taste any sweetness. Maybe Dongming’s craftsmanship in making Yuanxiao is really not very good. During the Lantern Festival, the red bean paste leaked out, muddying the whole bowl of white soup.I don't want to eat it, or touch it.

When I was in Haozai, I met a customer who cooked delicious food, Xiao Lin. Xiao Lin would stir-fry red bean paste, make steamed buns, and make glutinous rice balls.

Kobayashi works as a teacher in a training institution, teaching mental arithmetic and Mathematical Olympiad.After I knew he was a teacher, I often asked him for his textbooks, and called him "Mr. Lin" and "Mr. Lin". Mr. Lin loves to take care of my business.After going back and forth to get acquainted, once it was over, we were resting in the massage room, I flipped through Xiaolin's textbook, and the content in that book was like a heavenly book. I couldn't understand it at all, but I was very happy to read it.I know that those are things that can improve knowledge, and I like things that can improve knowledge and increase knowledge.

I asked Xiao Lin: "How old are your students? Do they understand?"

Xiao Lin said: "Yes, they are all elementary school students. The oldest is only about eleven years old. They are all very smart. Sometimes they even ask questions to test me."

I raised my head from the book and clapped my hands: "Wow, can you understand this when you are eleven years old? When I was eleven years old, I only knew Amitabha."

I said, "When I was eleven years old, reading the Heart Sutra was like reading a heavenly book."

Xiao Lin was surprised: "You were a young monk in the temple when you were young?"

I nodded.

Xiao Lin touched my hair, scratched it, and rubbed it: "How many years have you been a monk?"

I said, "Five years."

"What have you learned in five years? Have you learned to read the Heart Sutra?" Xiao Lin asked with a smile.

I sat up cross-legged, shook my head, clasped my palms together, and said to the Buddha: "Form is emptiness, and emptiness is form. After form is empty, you will think about form again. If you have not been confused by forms, you will not understand the state of emptiness."

Xiao Lin patted my thigh again: "Nonsense, are you blaspheming the Buddha?"

I opened one eye to look at him, and said with a smile, "Profanity and respect never come from the mouth, but the Buddha always keeps it in the heart. Haven't you heard of it?"

Xiao Lin laughed loudly, and he continued to ask: "Your hometown is not here, right? How did you become a monk? What did you do after you became a monk? How did you come to Rongshi?"

I said, "My parents sent me to become a monk. If I don't become a monk, I will walk around and come here."

Xiao Lin's voice suddenly became gentle, he touched my thigh, and his movements became gentle, I lay down next to him, we were all sideways, I looked at him, he looked at me, I lay my pillow arm, his hand around my waist.After a long time, he asked me: "Xiaobao, when was your first time?"

I asked, "What first time?"

"First kiss, first love...first night." Xiao Lin said.He kissed my forehead and leaned very close to me.

I said, "When I was ten years old."

I said, "When I was ten years old."

Xiao Lin's hand was touching my back, and Xiao Lin's eyes were swimming back and forth on my face, slippery, like a fish. When he heard my words, his hand stopped. He sat up and touched my face. Cigarette case and lighter, lit a cigarette, looked at the ground and said, "Your relative? Neighbor?" He turned his head and looked at me, "So... your parents sent you to become a monk in the temple?"

He got things in the wrong order.I also sat up, lit a cigarette, smoked, and said to him: "No, after I went to the temple, it was my brother."

Xiao Lin touched the back of my hand: "Is it much older than you?"

"Eight years older."

Xiao Lin got up to get an ashtray, walked back, sat down, put the ashtray on the massage table, smoked, shook some ash in the ashtray, looked at me, stared at me, and said: "Xiaobao, this is wrong."

He said: "It's wrong for your brother to do that, he can't do that..."

I, too, shook the ashes in the ashtray, and I said, "I know."

I know it's against the law, it's a sick "feeling".Brother did something very bad to me.I didn't know until I went down the mountain, met some people, watched some TV, and watched some movies, what a bad thing it was.

but……

I looked at Xiao Lin and said, "But he was really my first love. When I was ten years old, I really liked him."

Xiaolin said: "Xiaobao, it's not like this. You don't understand. Love should be... first love should be beautiful, and love should be beautiful. It can be a little sad, you can stop loving, you can forget, but," Xiaolin touched my Face, "You are ten years old, you don't understand," he said, "He is taking advantage of you."

I said, "So am I wrong? I like him... Am I wrong?"

Xiao Lin looked very pitiful, and hurriedly said: "You are not wrong, I didn't mean that."

I moved closer, grabbed his hand and looked at him, and asked anxiously: "What does that mean? Tell me, explain to me, teach me, I'm very smart , as soon as you tell me, I will understand." I said, "No one taught me..."

Kobayashi asked me if I wanted to move in with him.

It has been a long time since Kobayashi and I have been separated.As a teacher, Xiao Lin loves to teach people too much. In addition to teaching me what is right and what is wrong, he also teaches me what kind of clothes and shoes to wear. Sold the pair of headphones and bought myself a shirt.I can't remember what Xiao Lin looks like, but I can't always forget that he said that I don't understand, and I am not wrong.

I can never forget my brother sitting in the yard, with the rustling of sandpaper, my brother’s hands coming out of the white spinning gloves; my brother taking off his clothes, he is not like a bamboo pole, he is like a tall and straight tree; There was a rustling sound, and the sun rolled over the grass like golden fish scales; the senior brother took off his gloves, and his hands were not as big as daddy's, not my clam shells, but his hands were waves, rushing over and covering the Me; the bright-eyed peacock with its long tail in the cage, came towards me at night, and when it came, the white light flashed twice; the brother's Adam's apple rolled up and down, and a drop of sweat flowed down his chin, Flowing over his chest; Brother took off his clothes; We played hide and seek in a room full of Buddha statues, I hid behind a Maitreya Buddha, Brother found me, hugged me, and asked me, Xiaobao, do you know that Maitreya Buddha is also Huanxi Buddha, Xiaobao, do you know what is Huanxi? The peacock opened its tail. In the dark night, I saw peacock green, peacock blue, like gemstones, shining dazzlingly; my brother was walking by the river with his hands hanging down and no shoes on. , the calf was soaked in the stream, the senior brother bent over to catch the fish, his calf was full of water drops, his hands were soaked in the transparent and clean stream water; the senior brother’s hand was cold; the senior brother’s hand was warm; the senior brother held My feet, I feel like I'm going to fly, I said, brother, I'm going to fly, fly up.So many Buddhas look at me, I will fly to the kingdom of heaven, and I will know the realm of emptiness after flying through the realm of form; so I have heard, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, walking deep prajna paramita for a long time, seeing that all five aggregates are empty, The voice of the little monk and the old monk chanting sutras is rustling, vague, and clanging; a group of elephants walk past the golden stupa; the waves are ringing, and it is the waves that want to sweep me away. My father, my mother; the brother said, Xiaobao, fly, fly, the brother will follow you, the palm of the brother is supporting my feet, and the palm is against the soles of my feet; the cicadas are calling, and the sea is rushing from Xiamen , poured into the rafters, and flooded the Yunyuan Temple; I was covered with water.

I can never forget my senior brother sitting in the yard, he patted his thigh, I sat on it, he hugged me and talked to me, he touched my back, wrapped my little hand with his big hand, and rubbed it meticulously.I became the sandpaper in his hands.I was pressed against wood and polished, pressed against a wooden Buddha statue, I became soft, I was ground flat; my brother showed me his elephant, he wanted to see my baby elephant; the sound of noisy firecrackers, chanting In the scriptures, the senior brother hugged me and hugged me; the senior brother pressed his fingers to his lips.

Lie.

I don't even remember what my brother looks like.He is a longevity peach bun that has been dyed badly.I remember my brother’s voice, he always said: This is our secret, we can’t tell anyone; I remember my brother’s eyes, the eyeballs are so black, blacker than the peacock’s; peacocks open their tails at night, so mysterious and beautiful , it never turned on during the day; what a sin; I remember my brother's nose, from nose to lips, the middle part, there is always sweat there, there is shaving left