for

It is said that my name is Liao Xiaofan, I am 25 years old, a local, a photographer, single; no relatives, no friends, no past...

It is said that my family and I had a serious car accident a year ago, and I was the only one who survived.My parents and my twin brother Liao Xiaoyi died on the spot, but I traded my 20 years of memory to stay alone in this extremely strange world.

It is also said that I am gay.

I found a two-bedroom house based on the information provided by others, and it is also said that this is the house I bought myself.

The house is not new, but it is very tidy, and all the items in the house are so kind to me, giving me a sense of security that I have never had before.I love this place.

But this place gave me an inexplicable sense of sadness.

But, besides here I really don't know where else I can go.

"Xiaofan, why did you come back so early today?" The neighbor downstairs greeted me warmly.

"If I didn't go out to collect folk songs today, I should come back early," I replied with a smile.

I don't know who the people who greeted me are. To be precise, I can't tell who is who. I can only guess who they are based on their voices.

Because, I have mild prosopagnosia, I can see faces clearly, but I can't distinguish people with similar facial features.However, even if there is no face blindness, everyone is just a stranger to me...

First floor, second floor, third floor... sixth floor, take out the key in the bag, open the door...

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

The lights in the house are on!

There is a bouquet of pink and purple hyacinths on the coffee table!

There are still steaming meals in the kitchen!

This is……

No one in the kitchen!

There is no one in the bathroom!

There is no one in the bedroom!

No one in the room...

………………

At home, only me...

I sat down on the sofa decadently.Someone must have gone to the wrong place, otherwise why didn't you wait for me here.I, really, what am I still looking forward to, in this world, I am obviously the only one left...

Tears, falling quietly, being absorbed by the sofa, leaving no trace, just like my past 24 years, there is no trace to follow...

Wipe away the teardrops from the corners of your eyes, arrange the steaming meals, serve them, and eat them.

With tears, eat nothing left...

But, I really really want someone to accompany me...

"Woo, um..." Mom and Dad, it's gone, I really miss you, I really miss you...

"Uuuuuuu..."

Last night, I fell asleep crying.After I fell asleep, I seemed to be dreaming, as if I dreamed of my family, but I don’t remember the specific content.But I know that I am happy at that moment, because I am not alone at that moment.

However, the dream is a dream after all. When I woke up from the dream, I returned to being single again.

I still have to repeat the same monotonous life as usual, the photography building-home, the boring life of two points and one line

It is said that I like photography very much. In the past, photography was as important to me as life, but now, I feel that there is something missing no matter what photography is to me or what I am to photography.Just like the kind of lover whose feelings have faded, the communication and exchange on the soul level have been lost, leaving only the alienation and loneliness that seem to be in harmony with each other.

Is it because I lost something that is said to be more important to me than life?

"Xiaofan, you haven't been in a good state recently, why don't you take a few days off and adjust yourself?" The partner Li Suming with long black hair sat down in front of me, and unceremoniously picked up my camera and fiddled with it.

"I'm fine, that's how I am on vacation, what else can I do?" I lowered my head unconsciously, trying to hide the sadness and helplessness that flashed across my eyes.

Li Suming, my partner, this photography studio was opened by the two of us together.It is said that we have been friends for more than ten years and met at a photo exhibition in high school.Although he doesn't know much about my past, he can be regarded as the one who knows the most about me in this world.

That is to say, he told me that I was gay like him, but he never told me about my relationship. Maybe he didn't know about my love history, or maybe he didn't want me to know those things at all.

"Hey, why are the things you took recently so unfeeling? Where's your soul?" Li Suming put down my camera, frowned, and asked with a heartbroken expression.

"My soul?" Yes, is my soul still there?I live like a walking dead all day long, although I can still feel loneliness and confusion, although I still have the desire for family affection and understanding my past.However, I don't have the hope and vigor that a living person should have, and I lack the ability to love and be loved.My heart, like dead wood, cannot perceive the changes of the outside world.

"Forget it, let's not talk about this. Anyway, there is no one this afternoon, how about I take you to a good place?" Li Suming looked at me with a cheap smile, giving me a creepy feeling.

Only in this case, I feel that I am still alive. After all, no walking corpse knows how to be afraid.

"Hey, don't look at me with such disdain and suspicion, please don't make it look like I'm really going to spoil you, sir."

"If you're free, tell me about my love history. I'm curious, what kind of difficult love history did I, who doesn't look ugly or old, have a hard love history." I said indifferently.

"Tch, why do you want to know this? You don't want to find them one by one, and then do some stimulation therapy to restore memory?" Li Suming put down the camera in his hand and said, "They are not good people...they It will only lie to your feelings..." The expression of the mother rabbit warning the baby rabbit not to approach the big bad wolf.

I didn't speak, just stared at him with a half-smile.He was helpless, sighed, poured himself a cup of tea, sat down in front of me, stared at me for a while, his eyes narrowed, as if recalling the past.

It took him a long time before he said: "The man you care about the most is Le. You and Lie are the best brothers I have ever seen. No matter what you do at that time, Lie will always stick to you. The two of you get along well. Even if there was an awkward moment between the two of you, he finally came back to you crying, crying and saying that he missed you so much. That scene seemed to say that you are no longer by his side. It's a big grievance." Li Suming smiled, as if thinking of something very happy.

"Do you know why we were fighting?"

That little guy who sticks to me so much, will he feel wronged in heaven alone?If you can't find me the moment you open your eyes in heaven, you will be anxious and scared.

It's over, it's over, it's over...

"How do I know." Li Suming took a sip of tea and said in a low voice, "No one has ever been able to get in between the two of you, haven't I always been excluded by the two of you...... If I I can get in, did I need to do everything possible to please... Do you think it is easy for me to please that little devil?"

"You like it, don't you?" Yes, he liked it, the feeling he thought of was very similar to the feeling I thought of, the breath of happiness and pain, clear Talking about his love for being right.

It's over... It's over...

"Okay, it's getting late, I'm going back, you can play by yourself today, I'm a little tired, let's go home and rest first." I rubbed my temples, got up and packed my things and prepared to go home.Ignoring Li Suming's roar, who was recovering from his own depression, he walked home without looking back.

Actually, I don't believe in Li Suming.The things he told me, the past, always pull me invisibly.Just like the story line of a novel slowly pulls and promotes the development of the story, Li Suming is always consciously or unconsciously shaping me into what he imagines or what he thinks of me.

This kind of world does not need to think about it to know that it is extremely false. I don’t want to think of everything about my past one day, and find that I have become a monster that I don’t even know.

Therefore, I prefer to stay in the home where I am alone when I have time, and I don't want to contact those so-called friends from my past too much.

"Yeah, Xiaofan, are you back from get off work?"

"Yes, Uncle Li, why haven't you played chess with Uncle Lin and the others these two days?" The one who greeted me was Uncle Li who lives on the ground floor, a widowed old man who usually likes to play chess with other uncles Playing bridge, but these two days he was sitting here by himself, as if he was waiting for someone.

Is he thinking about his family too?

"Hey, I don't want to go there recently, I just want to stay here for a while." The uncle smiled and glanced upstairs inadvertently.

I followed his gaze, but found nothing.

It is estimated that the old man has some conflicts with other people, so let's lose his temper here.

"Then I'll go up first, it's been cold recently, don't stay outside for too long, don't catch the cold."

"Got it, got it." The uncle touched his head and replied with a smile.

It should be nice to have someone at home waiting for you to go back.

How nice it would be if I was the same person who treats me like that.

Today at home, as usual, it was dark and dark. Sure enough, someone went wrong yesterday.

"Pata" turned on the light, put away the things, washed his hands, walked slowly to the dining table and sat down, picked up the bowl on the table, filled the rice, and ate the steaming food on the table with hot tears. food......

Every day when I come home from get off work, there are delicious meals at home, and all the housework is done.It's been like this for ten days.Yes, ten days.During the period, I thought about leaving get off work early and came back to see who it was. I wanted to ask clearly, but when I walked to the door, I changed my mind.When I mentioned this to Li Suming before, Li Suming blurted out Conch Girl, and by the way, he popularized Chinese myths and legends to me, a person who has no common sense. The person you love doesn't want you to know, so there is a reason not to let you know. After knowing it, you may not be happy. After knowing it, you may not be able to continue to have this tenderness...

In fact, I am just a greedy coward. I am afraid that I will lose the last tenderness that exists.

Every day when I am free, I would guess what the conch girl would cook, and when I got home, I would picture the appearance of the conch girl in my mind while eating delicious meals.

Hey, Uncle Li actually played chess with Uncle Lin and the others under the tree today, I feel a little unaccustomed to it.

Probably reconciled with those old men, really like a child.

It seems that there is almost no food at home. I will bring some back when I come back tomorrow. After all, "a smart woman can't cook without rice".

................................................

Before I had time to put away the things in my hands, I sat on the sofa tiredly, carefully looking at the place I was most familiar with, and was speechless for a long time.

The author has something to say:

Poppy knows that maybe the title and the beginning are not fascinating, but I still hope that the little angels who see Wenwen can give a little patience and time to read it. Ye hopes that the little angels who have been here can leave your footprints and let Poppy know that she is not one person.Thanks