Star Sea·Light Year

Meng Tian began to regret getting close to this man again.

The man in front of him who was wearing an apron and gently making dinner had a familiar face, but he was doing things that that person would not do.Because he lost all memory of the past.

His amnesia...was a bad thing for that man. This sudden accident destroyed "his" plan all along, but he didn't want to deny it at all. There is a little joy.

He's the one who knows "him" best, so there's a legitimate reason to keep him around.That's why he took the initiative to contact him after a few years.

The familiar voice on the receiver almost brought tears to his eyes.When he nervously asked if he would still call, the sweetness and pain came together.

This is a completely different sense of reality from memories.

Waiting is always restless, he wants to see him, if he sees him doing well, he will feel a little resentful because he is doing badly, but if he is also doing badly, he will feel a little distressed.

But the familiar figure in front of him has not changed from the one in memory, and his expression is cheerful like never before. ... That man would not show such a bright expression, "he" always had a calm face, and even if he encountered something worthy of joy, he would pour a basin of cold water indifferently.

This is because "his" personality is very depressed, just like "his" home gives him the same feeling.

So when he heard the man bluntly expressed that he didn't like to be there, Meng Tian found it very interesting.

Perhaps, because of losing the memory of the past and not being bound by what you already know, the most essential part of your character emerges.

The fact that this man says this means that "he" thinks so too, right?

This gave Meng Tian a thrill of victory.So he took the opportunity to ask him if he would like to live with him... But now it seems that his proposal is really stupid.

...He likes this man named "Wang Ben" very much, but at the same time he also resents "him" very much. Most of the time, he has complicated emotions towards "him".If he had to say it, he wished he could hate "him" more, so that he would have a chance to be freed from this tormenting feeling.

He didn't know why that man became the one who always bought the same desserts with him, but he was sure that the man didn't like desserts, and that man liked bitter foods more than sweet ones.

...Besides, the pale pink ribbon sounds like his stuff, but he, who never likes to wear formal clothes, doesn't seem to have tied that kind of thing in front of that man, and he doesn't remember that he stuffed this thing for "him" .Thinking of something that might be a woman, he felt an inexplicable anger, especially when that thing was tied to "his" most precious bow... If it was really a woman, it must be the woman that "his" loved ...During these years of separation, did "he" have a beloved woman?

As for why he knew the password of "his" mobile phone, of course it was because it was the password he set.The man never saved his number, so he did it on purpose. ... When he first learned about this, he was secretly sad for a long time.After that, he found an opportunity to throw "his" cell phone into the sink, and he felt relieved when he saw "his" angry face.

As the amnesiac stared blankly at the photos and videos, he was in constant fear.

...What if he really remembered something?Really remembering the past, he will definitely leave here and go back to that home.Maybe I will remember who my sweetheart is, and I will send him a wedding post soon...

Just thinking of this possibility made him feel like he was suffocating.

Dominated by this kind of fear, Meng Tian couldn't even swallow the rice, and the desserts he liked before became tasteless.Although he retained this man with false hopes, he must not know that he actually didn't want him to remember the past at all, so when he heard that the man who chose a completely different path from the past met other classmates by chance, he was shocked I'm afraid I'm going to vomit!

After finally convincing Pan Yang on the grounds that he should not put too much mental pressure on him, a letter appeared again!Forget about others, Xin has a very direct personality, and he will definitely tell him everything he knows frankly...

"That's why I advised you not to torture yourself like this." Zheng Zheng, who listened to his complaints, looked helpless, "For you, it's best to pretend that you don't know anything. Even if he takes the initiative to find you, you can let me come Handle."

"but I……"

"But you just can't let it go, I know."

He didn't want to let it go, he just wanted to take revenge on "him" in a small way.I thought about making him fall in love with me at this time. If I did something irreversible, it would be too late to regret it after my memory recovered.

But if he did, "he" would hate him, wouldn't he?

When resentment prevailed, he could only shut himself in his room, looking at a room full of inferior dolls.Although it was a cheap doll, to him, it was a precious treasure that no amount of money could buy.

Why did he fall in love with that indifferent man in the first place?

...Because he knows very well that "he" is actually a very gentle man.

I first noticed "him" that it was Valentine's Day when "he" received the most chocolates.This frustrates Meng Tian, ​​who always thinks he is the most popular among girls, so he pays special attention to "him".

This is the beginning of his bad emotions.If he could turn back time, he must tell himself at that time that this was just a trivial matter!

But at that time, he didn't have any special feelings for "him".But he does appreciate "him".Different from him, "he" is a person who is very serious about everything, and even reads the love letters secretly given to him by girls, although "he" will not respond to their wishes, and the other party will not respond Wouldn't have known about it, but "he" would have done it anyway.

When the three of them were dealing with the mountain of love letters in the student union office, the Political Council complained about receiving so many letters every time while writing a reply.

"It's because of writing replies that I always receive a lot!" At that time, they complained in unison, and this strange tacit understanding made him very interesting.However, unlike "he" who respects other people's wishes, Zheng keeps replying to express his thanks for the families behind these girls, and he himself does not shy away from this at all.

Meng Tian is not the same as his two friends. He thinks that the girls who muster up the courage to confess to their sweetheart are very straightforward and cute, so even if he can't become a boyfriend and girlfriend with them, he is still willing to be friends with them.

At first, I fell in love with Wang Ben because of that incident...

At that time, the younger brother with an upright personality reported to the Academic Affairs Office a classmate who had cheated in the exam, but he was targeted, and they found an opportunity to beat him up severely.Of course he, who always loved his younger brother, couldn't tolerate this.But he alone was no match for the two of them. At that time, Wang Ben who suddenly appeared stood in front of him.

He seemed to be unable to forget what "he" said at that time in his whole life: "Your hands playing the piano are too wasteful to use for fighting."

...The figure that blocked the sunlight would often appear in front of his eyes afterwards.

If you don't have extra thoughts about him, don't say the kind of words that will make his heart move!

It's the same now, anyway, after thinking of everything, he will only be left with a back, so don't do these unnecessary things!Because he is not like "he" at all, he can't refuse his own ideas.

So even if the things he makes look terrible, you can think that he made them for him with his own hands, and he will be very sweet when he eats them.

Although he lowered his head and pretended not to see his enthusiastic gaze, he secretly felt happy in his heart.

In the past, he wouldn't look at him like this...

After knowing his feelings, Wang Ben kept avoiding him.That time, the four of them celebrated the New Year together, and he accidentally drank too much, so Wang Ben sent him back first. When he saw that "he" wanted to feed him some cold water, he felt a sudden fever, and pressed his finger on "his" lips Said: "Why don't you use this place to feed me..."

"Do you think I'm a girl?" He still remembered how "he" frowned.

"I know you are Wang Ben." At that time, he looked at "him"...probably more enthusiastic than this.

Later he heard Wang Ben say: "...Meng Tian, ​​I just want to be ordinary friends with you." He couldn't remember Wang Ben's expression at that time, because he didn't dare to look at it at all, and he couldn't control it after drinking. My own emotions, I shed tears on the spot.

——He couldn't forget this matter even if he wanted to.

This was also the first time he really liked someone, and it took all his courage to show his heart like this.And because of the personal experience of being told by the person he likes "just want to be friends", he no longer rejects those girls who confess to him.

He never stopped his "love affair" because he wanted to quickly forget this embarrassing reality.But he didn't want to bear strange responsibilities, so he didn't do excessive things with the girls. Later, when he had an accident, he realized that he couldn't do it even if he wanted to.Only then did he realize that even if he wanted to avoid some things, he couldn't lie to himself.

"How's it going, is it delicious?" Hearing that he asked himself expectantly, Meng Tian nodded.

"delicious."

"Really..." If he looked up at this moment, he should be able to see his satisfied smile.In fact, it's not impossible to stay with him like this and leave the past behind.

but……

"From tomorrow onwards I will be busier than before, so I won't be eating three meals at home."

"...Speaking like this, it doesn't mean he doesn't eat like before..." His tone was obviously disappointed.

"It's true."

"...Then I can help you prepare meals, and you can take them to eat."

Meng Tian showed a troubled smile on purpose: "Then the girls will misunderstand, and then they won't be willing to go out with me anymore."

"...that way,...you can follow me..." Wang Ben's words made Meng Tian want to cry a little.

"Don't make such jokes, it's no fun for two guys to go out, and you can have a sweet night with a girl on a date."

"I'm not joking!" Wang Ben stood up suddenly, and he looked at Meng Tian very seriously, "I like you, please think about it carefully!"

Meng Tian laughed, he did not miss the astonishment in Wang Ben's eyes.

"...I often encounter this kind of situation. Ah, I didn't say that, I mainly major in psychology....Among the patients I met, some people mistakenly believe that their dependence on the doctor is a relationship in the process of getting along. , but once they get out of the treatment setting, they realize that it's ridiculous to think that way."

"I'm not like that..."

Wang Ben immediately refuted.

"Although we have known each other for a long time before you lost your memory, in fact, I have only known 'you' for four months. During this period, for you, I am probably the most trustworthy person. Because of this, your That feeling is not to be trusted."

"No! It's not like this! I don't know how to explain it, but I feel that 'his' feelings for you have not been forgotten because of the disappearance of memory. Although I don't remember what we were like in the past, I know I like you! Maybe you will feel disgusted when you say it, but... I want to touch you very much, and I can't help but want to kiss you, and I will even feel enchanted when I smell you..."

Seeing Wang Ben's blushing face, Meng Tian felt that his own face was burning too.

"...I said before that you can do whatever you want during this period of time, but it cannot affect the life you originally planned. You should be able to understand, no matter what you think, you and I will not go beyond' friend' relationship."

He lowered his head, not wanting to see his expression at this moment.

"...Then you treat me..."

"I have no affection for you beyond that of a friend."

"...Is that so... So whether it was before or now, I'm just pretending to be affectionate..."

... No, the opposite is true.But he couldn't tell the truth.Hearing his confession so straightforwardly, his heart was about to fly out, but... no.

This thing will not work.

Meng Tian suddenly wanted to laugh out loud.He didn't expect that he would understand "him" again in this way.

"Then... can I not live here anymore?" Hearing his lost voice, Meng Tian also became sad.

"No...it's okay, you can stay as long as you want." Because he is the one who will leave.

"...Well. Then I want to stay." He saw that he tried to force a smile, but his voice was trembling slightly.

Picking up the fierce and ugly Tyrannosaurus rex doll and sticking it to his chest, Meng Tian lay down on the bed, covering his eyes with the back of his hands, and tears wet the quilt again along the corners of his eyes.

It was because that man was always like this that he couldn't cut off this relationship.

Why does "he" want him to spy on the hidden emotions?Since you don't want to accept it, why don't you just cover it tightly?

It was the last party before graduation.Perhaps because this was the last chance, many girls came to confess to Wang Ben.Of course, Wang Ben politely refused all of them.

In fact, after that incident, Meng Tian didn't dare to drink any more. He purposely drank a few gulps of wine, wanting to leave earlier. Hearing "him" keep rejecting others like this, in fact, he kept tearing him apart. Scars at the bottom of my heart.After this separation, maybe the next meeting will be at Wang Ben's wedding. He thought that Wang Ben must be the first one to get married among them.

If only I could find an excuse not to go by then.

"...Wang Ben, send Meng Tian back to rest, he seems to have drunk too much." Zheng said suddenly.

"……it is good."

Meng Tian vaguely felt that Zheng had seen his feelings early in the morning.

...this is the last time he can be alone, because he will leave early tomorrow morning.When passing by a row of claw machines, Meng Tian suddenly remembered that he saw many boys grabbing dolls for girls, and he suddenly wanted to play tricks on Wang Ben.

"You help me catch that."

He pointed to the ugliest doll and said.Without turning his head, he could feel that Wang Ben's eyes stayed on him for a while.

"……Wait a moment."

He also thought that "he" would refuse again.

After a while, he saw Wang Ben came back with a drink and a bag of something that made a crisp sound.He took the strawberry milk that he often drank, and watched "he" put the bag next to the rocker, only then did he notice that there was a pile of coins inside.

...Do you need so many?

"...Why did you choose this one?"

Wang Ben asked while throwing in a coin.

"Because he is the ugliest and has such a fierce expression, which is very similar to you."

He heard Wang Ben seem to laugh.

"Then which one do you think you are like?"

Meng Tian thought for a while, pointed to one of the rabbit dolls and said, "This one."

But the first doll Wang Ben caught was neither a rabbit nor the Tyrannosaurus rex.

"...Your skills are poor, no wonder you have to change so many."

Wang Ben didn't speak.Just kept silent and continued to insert the second coin.When there were more and more dolls in his arms, Meng Tian realized that "he" was not catching the Tyrannosaurus Rex at all, but was planning to catch all the dolls except the Tyrannosaurus Rex and the rabbit.

Realizing this, Meng Tian stared at "his" frowning brows in astonishment, trying hard to suppress his churning emotions.

...why do you want to do this?

When there were only those two dolls left in the machine, Wang Ben stopped suddenly.

This made Meng Tian couldn't help thinking, it would be great if time could stop at this moment.But after an unknown amount of time, he heard Wang Ben sigh inaudibly, and the coin fell into it and made another ding-dong sound.

...time never stops for anyone.

"...I want all of these." He knew that his voice sounded a little trembling.

"...Okay." He didn't know if it was an illusion, but he felt that Wang Ben's voice was also a little choked up.

The two men holding a bunch of dolls must look weird to others. He doesn't know what Wang Ben is thinking, but he has no time to take care of such things at the moment.

The two walked back all the way, and neither of them spoke.

That night, Meng Tian who was lying on the bed couldn't fall asleep.He thought, maybe Wang Ben didn't really only regard him as a "friend", did he?Before he had time to think deeply, he heard the sound of the door being gently pushed open.

The familiar faint smell let him know who came in.

... What does "he" come to do?

The night was so quiet that breathing could be heard.But Wang Ben seemed to just stand there, staring at him "asleep" motionless.

...Don't you want to say something?

Time passed bit by bit.Meng Tian was lying there, just being stared at by "him", it made him feel like his whole body was about to burn, but he didn't dare to move, afraid that "he" would turn around and leave again if he found out that he was not asleep.

He knew very well that it was impossible for Wang Ben to respond to his feelings, because he knew "him" very well, so he shouldn't have said those words at all, and he shouldn't have been doing some willful actions all the time.

But "he" responded.Let him know that "he" doesn't want to leave either.

...Just like this, the depression he had accumulated disappeared, but at the same time it made him more painful.

If it's just a one-sided relationship and you don't get the response you deserve, sooner or later you will wake up and re-enter a new relationship.But now... knowing that "he" doesn't have no feelings for him, but that there are more important things than feelings for "him", how should he get away?

It becomes a regret like this, and there is really no way to forget it again.

In the distance, there seemed to be the sound of a car.

It seems that it is still dark, so it should not be to pick him up.But Wang Ben suddenly walked towards him, felt that "he" seemed to touch his hair, and a tear slipped down from the corner of Meng Tian's eyes uncontrollably.

"...I'm sorry..." After leaving these words, he heard the sound of the door being closed.

After realizing that it was not his own door, Meng Tian suddenly ran from the bed to the window, staring blankly at the black car carrying Wang Ben disappearing bit by bit into the gradually brightening sky.

He didn't know how long he stared in that direction before he finally burst into tears uncontrollably.

"He's gone?" Zheng, who had already come back, probably heard his voice, opened the door and walked in.

Meng Tian couldn't answer, at this moment he couldn't make any other sound except crying.

When he was packing his luggage, he realized that he couldn't find the rabbit no matter what.

Lying on the bed, Meng Tian thought, he really hates this man who can easily express his feelings, maybe "he" also hates him who has been doing willful things all the time, right?

When he thought so, he chuckled again.

...It really deserves it!