Reverse Approach

【46】

When Su Beimo returned to the ward, Liao Nanqing was lying quietly.

He sorted out his emotions, walked over, and poured out a bowl of hot pine nut porridge from the thermos.But when he got closer, he realized that Liao Nanqing's temples were wet, and he seemed to be sweating.Su Beimo quickly scrubbed him briefly, changed into his sick clothes, and held his cold hands into his palms.

"Nanqing, are you uncomfortable?"

Liao Nanqing shook his head and said, "I'm a little hungry."

"Sorry." Su Beimo helped him up, let him lean in his arms, took the porridge bowl, blew warm spoonful by spoonful and fed it to him.

The taste of pine nut porridge was as mellow as it was then, Liao Nanqing could taste it, it was made by Su Ya.Only her pine nut porridge tasted like a mother, as if she gave him a home.Liao Nanqing finished a bowl of pine nut porridge silently, and wanted to eat another bowl, but found that he couldn't hold it anymore.

His appetite was surprisingly poor, and he would feel nauseous after just one mouthful.

Su Beimo has always been by his side to take care of him, whether he is asleep or awake, Su Beimo is always there.Although Liao Nanqing didn't say a few words, Su Beimo always told him some trivial things, because he was afraid that he would be bored.

The next day, Ge Jun and Xu Yanyan came.

After all, Ge Yun was a girl. As soon as she entered the door, she covered her face and began to wipe tears.Xu Yanyan patted Ge Yun's shoulder, holding a fruit basket in his hand.Su Beimo took time to take a shower in the shower room in the ward in the morning, shaved his beard, and changed into clean clothes. Although he still didn't look good, he wasn't as sloppy as before.

There was no tea in the ward, so he poured two cups of hot water for Ge Yun and Xu Yanyan.

Ge Yun sobbed and said, "Get well soon, let's drink milk tea together. I'm going to class after the Chinese New Year, okay?"

Liao Nanqing tried his best to smile at them, the corners of his mouth hurt.

"It's okay, just listen. You have a good rest." Xu Yanyan noticed his inconvenience and said hastily.

In the past few days, the two of them followed to find someone, traveled a lot, and spent a lot of thought on Liao Nanqing.Along with it, the relationship between Ge Yun and Su Beimo has eased.Afraid of disturbing Liao Nanqing's rest, the two didn't stay for too long.

When Su Beimo sent them out, Ge Jun was afraid that he would not be able to take care of Liao Nanqing continuously, so he asked thoughtfully: "Why don't I take care of Liao Nanqing for a day, seeing how tired you are." Xu Yanyan answered next to him: "I need my help. Also feel free to call me, it's winter vacation, we two have nothing to do at home. If you are too busy here alone, call us."

"No, I can do it alone." Su Beimo thanked, "Thank you for coming to see Nanqing and helping him so much."

"Thank you, we are Nanqing's friends and best friends. It's you, don't get tired." Ge Yun's eyes were red, seeing Su Beimo's appearance, he couldn't help but feel sad, "You are true to Nanqing Okay, I won't talk about you again, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, sometimes it's interesting to see him talk for you, and to eat your jealousy." Su Beimo made a joke, sent them to the elevator of the hospital and returned.

The windows at the end of the corridor were not closed, but were half opened. The winter wind rushed in unreasonably, facing Su Beimo.He shuddered, the tips of his teeth were cold.Suddenly remembered that Liao Nanqing hadn't bought a single winter coat this year.He quickly walked back to the ward, took out his mobile phone, and found a Taobao store to show Liao Nanqing.

"Nanqing, I'll buy you a coat this year, the kind that can wrap you up, it's sure to be warm." He rubbed his hands, his eyes brightened.

Liao Nanqing knew that Su Beimo was afraid that he would think about other things, so he always found topics to tease him like this.

He was very sad, not to mention powerless.After a long time, I raised my hand and pointed to a black one, which was quite ordinary: "I like this."

"Okay, then let's buy this one." Su Beimo quickly took pictures of the size Liao Nanqing could wear, and then touched Liao Nanqing's head, "It will arrive in a few days, and I will wear it on the day I return to City B."

It's almost Chinese New Year, but they want to go back to City B.

"I also... want to go back." Liao Nanqing said slowly.

Immediately afterwards, Su Beimo made a decision, and said to him frankly: "Nanqing, after we go back. Let's go see a psychiatrist, shall we?"

Liao Nanqing's heart immediately sank to the bottom of the lake, and he looked at Su Beimo dully, his eyes filled with stagnant water.Slowly, Liao Nanqing picked at the quilt with his fingertips, not daring to use force or make a loud noise. He spoke intermittently, unable to speak a complete sentence: "I, I am not sick..."

Su Beimo's heart was tightened: "Nanqing, we just went to have a look. Your experience these days is not good, let's do some psychotherapy to relieve you, okay?"

"But... I'm really not sick..." He replied mutteringly, a trace of inexplicable fear flashed in his trance eyes, and he repeated, "I'm really not... You believe me, believe me..."

"Nanqing, people who see a psychiatrist are not sick. Many people will go to see a psychiatrist when they are under great psychological pressure. This is a very normal phenomenon. You are not sick, and this is not a disease." Su Beimo said affirmatively , Trying to persuade him, "Let's go once, you always have nightmares, it's not good, you'll get better if you sleep well, right?"

"..."

Liao Nanqing's nails sank into his palm, he became stubborn, unwilling to listen to Su Beimo's explanation, he frowned and closed his eyes.In the past two days, whenever he closed his eyes, Su Beimo stopped talking.He didn't rest well, and Su Beimo could see it.

He used to listen to Su Beimo's words very much, but now, he is trapped in a dead-end alley, with endless night sky above his head, dead tree branches showing teeth and claws, as if to tear this bottomless black curtain, and thorns under his feet. , blocking the exit.

Liao Nanqing insisted that he was not sick.

Su Beimo had no choice, he couldn't speak a second time.

Every night, Su Beimo slept on a small folding bed next to Liao Nanqing's hospital bed.Worried that Liao Nan would wake up in the middle of the night, there was always a light in the ward.Even though Su Beimo hasn't slept well these years, he doesn't wear an eye mask to block out the sun.I'm afraid that Liao Nan won't know if he's sober, and he won't relax every moment.

At around 03:30 in the morning, the voice of 'Hisuo' came from the hospital bed.

Su Beimo was still asleep, and got up to look at Liao Nanqing.His eyes were open in fear, his forehead was full of cold sweat, he was clutching the quilt tightly, his hair was wet against his ears, his chest was heaving, and he was breathing heavily.As if being haunted by a nightmare, Liao Nanqing panted slightly, with an unnatural blush on his cheeks.

"Have you had a nightmare?" Su Beimo went over, and first took the temperature of his forehead with the back of his hand to make sure he didn't have a fever before he felt relieved.He went to the bathroom and got a towel that had been washed with hot water, and came over to wipe Liao Nanqing's body, "Nanqing, sit up, let's change clothes."

But Liao Nanqing pursed his lips tightly and refused to move.

"Nan Qing?"

He saw tears in the corner of Liao Nanqing's eyes: "Go out."

"What's wrong with you, Nan Qing? Tell me if you're not feeling well, you..."

"Get out." Liao Nanqing's voice was very hoarse, mixed with countless particles, full of despair.He had never treated Su Beimo with this attitude before, but he seemed to be a different person at this moment.Seeing that Su Beimo was not moving, he became anxious, and slapped the bed hard regardless, "Get out...you get out!"

Su Beimo had nothing to do, in order to calm down Liao Nanqing, he had no choice but to agree.In the middle of the night, Su Beimo was kicked out of the room by Liao Nanqing without even wearing a coat.The lights in the hospital corridor were on, and Su Beimo clung to the door of the ward like a thief, wanting to hear what was going on inside.

A nurse rounding the wards passed by and looked at him inexplicably. Su Beimo said sorry, explaining that his younger brother threw him out because of his temper.

The nurse had a sullen face and reminded: "Don't affect the rest of the patients in the other wards."

Su Beimo apologized several times before continuing to stick to the door.

Hearing the sound of falling suddenly, Su Beimo quickly opened the door and entered.But when he saw the scene inside, a dagger was inserted into his heart. In this second, he tore Zhang Yuangang in his heart countless times.

Liao Nanqing in front of him fell down and lay on the ground. When he was looking at him, he almost instinctively shrunk to the corner closest to him, holding a new hospital gown tightly in his hands.His feet were still bandaged, and his inability to move made his posture weird, like a wounded small animal.

Liao Nanqing lowered his head, buried his face in the pile of thin clothes, shame covered all his expressive abilities.

He seemed unable to speak anymore, the tip of his teeth chattered and collided, forming an invisible echo in his mind.

On the hospital bed, in the opened quilt, there were large water stains.

Even Liao Nanqing's underwear was more than half stained, because the heating was turned on in the ward, and the smell of urine wafted out, not light or heavy.Liao Nanqing's lips were pale, and he clutched his arm fearfully, digging in with his nails, regardless of the pain.

Su Beimo didn't show surprise or disbelief.He walked over calmly, squatted down, and asked Liao Nanqing in a warm voice: "Can I help you change your clothes first? The doctor said you can't move around. Did it hurt when you fell just now? Let me see if It hurts, we have to call the doctor."

Liao Nanqing raised his eyes timidly, his joints turned white, he was trembling, as pitiful as a frightened rabbit: "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." Su Beimo rubbed his head, his tone was gentle, "It's nothing wrong, it's not ashamed. It's winter, and you'll catch a cold if you wear wet clothes. Nan Qing, don't be afraid, I'm not someone else, I'm Su Beimo. I've always been nice to you, right?"

Liao Nanqing lowered his eyes, not daring to look at him, and nodded obediently.

Su Beimo was briefly allowed to gently lift him up and check his wounds.After confirming that nothing happened, he helped him take off his clothes and pants, and took a basin of hot water to scrub him.Liao Nanqing was somewhat resistant, but also numb. With his legs side by side, the trembling spread from his toes to the top of his head.Su Beimo took a new hospital gown and put it on for him, knelt down in front of him, and held his hand: "Are you scared?"

"……Um."

"What are you afraid of?" Su Beimo continued to ask.

A simple question brought back a nightmare that Liao Nanqing didn't want to recall. He looked around tremblingly, wanting to escape uneasily, but couldn't.He still apologized: "I was wrong, I'm sorry. Stepfather, he's going to hit me, I'm afraid, so I... I didn't mean it, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm causing you trouble again..." He pressed down voice, pinching the hem of his clothes nervously.

"Next time, I won't be like this. Really..."

He dreamed about Zhang Yuangang. He kept running, but he was still taken back to the basement.In the dream, Zhang Yuangang jokingly teased him that he wet his pants.Liao Nanqing held his head for fear of being beaten, thinking about it, but the moment Zhang Yuangang raised his hand, he really peed his pants.

He was so scared.

He bit his lower lip to bleed, and defended himself: "I'm just having a nightmare, I'm not sick..."

He was still struggling to sleep because of seeing a psychiatrist. He was afraid that what if he was really abnormal and sick, just like what Li Qin and Zhang Yuangang said.At that time, he will only be a burden, a burden, and he will crush Su Beimo.Just like when the Liao family was crushed back then, it was beyond redemption.

"You're not sick, this isn't a sickness!" Su Beimo pinched his chin, and separated his front teeth with the back of his thumb, not allowing him to continue hurting his fragile lower lip.

Liao Nanqing opened his mouth in pain, swallowing blood foam that smelled like iron flakes.

"Nan Qing, listen to me, he is not here. He will never find you again, you are safe. Don't be afraid, look at me. Look at who I am..." Su Beimo held down His shoulders, and then holding his face, forced Liao Nanqing to look at him.

Liao Nanqing's eyes were full of tears, he choked up and said, "You are Su Beimo..."

"Yes, it's me." Su Beimo hugged him tightly, whispering in his ear, approaching the sound of crying, "Don't be afraid, Nan Qing, I'm by your side, right?"

Su Beimo was so distressed that he was about to peel off his heart to show him. Look, there is only you in it, and I am hurting when you hurt.

"I'm afraid, Su Beimo, I'm afraid." Liao Nanqing finally responded, and he also hugged Su Beimo tightly, very hard.I was afraid that Su Beimo would lose him if he let go.He was ups and downs in a torrent, and the surging waves beat against the stubborn rocks. He eagerly reached out his hand to grab the life-saving straw.

Withered and weak, it disappeared without a trace from the fingers.

"Su Beimo, I'm not sick, really. Don't want me..." He finally expressed his worries and anxieties completely.He was a mistake, he did something wrong, he just wanted to keep Su Beimo.

Su Beimo shook his head and said desperately, "Why would I not want you? Why would you miss me so much?"

Liao Nanqing was in tears.

Su Beimo's eyelashes were also wet. He said, "Nanqing, be brave and have confidence in me. Please." If my love is not enough for you to notice, then, day after day Day, year after year, I will put you on the tip of my heart and write a word of love every day until this word is engraved in my heart.

Su Beimo's gaze was firm and determined.

Liao Nanqing burst into tears immediately, like a child who lost his way, crying heartbreakingly.

When the nurse heard the sound and rushed over, Su Beimo was hugging Liao Nanqing, holding him in his arms, and gently patted his back.Liao Nanqing kept crying, but his voice was much softer.The nurse frowned: "This will affect the rest of other patients!"

"I'm sorry, just a moment. Please get out and close the door."

The nurse wanted to say something, but Su Beimo repeated it again, without a trace of slack on his face, and said in a low voice, "Please go out, don't scare him." Liao Nanqing in his arms was sobbing, as if to Cry out all the grievances in your heart, and file a complaint in front of Su Beimo.

early morning.

Liao Nanqing nestled in Su Beimo's arms, and the two of them lay on the folding bed.Liao Nanqing lay on Su Beimo's chest, breathing in the familiar smell of him, feeling relieved and relieved.Liao Nanqing was sleepless this night, he waited quietly for the dawn.

He didn't speak until the first ray of dawn fell.

"I regard all of this as the ordeal before being with you." Liao Nanqing shed tears, and walked through thousands of mountains and rivers alone in his heart, "Whether it was before or now, as long as you know that you will come in the end." Pick me up, and I'll make it through."

"..."

"When it's hard, it's really painful. I always think of bad things. My life is like a bottomless pit, like a whirlpool. Except for meeting you, there is no bright day. The normal road is easy to walk. And The way we go together is very difficult. But I don’t have any other way, but you do.”

Having wallowed in such a filthy cave, he's a big problem.At that moment, Liao Nanqing put a label on his life, and he couldn't tear it off.He had been in pain and despair, and was afraid that Su Beimo would turn around and leave, just like his stepfather said, not to let him go.

Repeated condemnation and questioning filled his heart, eroding his persistence for a few days.

"It's a bad road, it's hard to walk." He said again.

Su Beimo asked him, "Then it's easy to leave after we separate?"

Liao Nanqing trembled slightly, his eyelashes were like a curtain of rain.

"You will also encounter difficulties, and you will also be stumbling on the way, right? Life will always encounter troubles, unhappiness, and many, many things." Su Beimo wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, "But we It's different, we have two people, we can face it together. Nanqing, the road must be walked together, let's walk together."

Su Beimo also said: "Don't leave me, I can't live without you."

Liao Nanqing closed his eyes, his tears were like a rainstorm, silently blocking the wound in his heart.It festers and scabs, and it feels better than ever, but it also begins to itch, a sign that the scab will eventually fall off.

No promise sounds better.

Liao Nanqing was crying and laughing, especially unattractive, and said stupidly: "If...if only through these, through my childhood, through my current experience, can I be with you. Then a hundred times, a thousand times, Countless times... I am willing to endure. As long as you are waiting for me, I can survive."

Su Beimo covered his eyes, he didn't want Liao Nanqing to see him cry.

The most sincere age, a love that melts into the palm of the hand and into the heart, and no one can clean it.

But they didn't know that Zhao Qin, who was standing outside the door carrying a thermos, suddenly turned around and leaned against the back of the wall, sighing silently.

Her moist eyes are the gentle relief of a mother.