I'm not the bunny monster you think

Fortunately, Yuan Feibai was finally rescued and returned, but it was obvious that he would not be able to appear in front of the public again in a short period of time.

After all, he was a second-tier star. Yuan Feibai's suicide has received widespread attention from the society. The studio issued a statement the next morning, confirming that he was suffering from depression.

As an insider, Shen Feng knew more details——

Yuan Feibai is actually manic-depressive, but he didn't have manic symptoms when he was initially diagnosed, so he was regarded as depression.

Later, he entered the manic period, and the high mood made him think that he had recovered, so he stopped the medicine privately. In addition, the pressure during the filming process was too great. When he entered the depression period again, he would deteriorate sharply and have suicidal thoughts.

It’s just that many people have misunderstandings about bipolar disorder, thinking that this disease is equivalent to schizophrenia, and even equates it with violent tendencies. In order not to affect Yuan Feibai’s image in the eyes of the public, the studio calls it depression disease.

This kind of thing should not have been known to Shen Feng, but he mentioned it when he went to school and chatted with his classmates.

One of the boys also said with emotion: "It's a pity, if it wasn't because of the incident at the beginning of the year, how could he..."

The female classmate next to him quickly patted him, lowered her voice and said, "Keep your voice down! Didn't you see the guy in the front row sitting there?"

The boy immediately stopped talking, and after a while he suddenly sighed: "The same person is not the same, this circle is really a place where luck depends."

From the moment he heard the name Yuan Feibai, Shen Feng's head began to hurt, but he didn't show any abnormalities until he heard this sentence, he finally couldn't hold back, got up and left the classroom.

When he went out, he bumped into the teacher of this class, Shen Feng apologized, strode into the bathroom, and locked himself in one of the cubicles.

Yes, he and Yuan Feibai are actually the same, and being able to defeat Yuan Feibai again and again and get those resources is just a little luckier.

Back these days, he and Ye Zhen have been living in a villa in the suburbs.

The servants in the villa still treated him the same as before, only Ye Zhen, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he could feel that Ye Zhen was watching him, breathing very lightly and evenly, as if afraid of waking him up.

Occasionally passing the study, he could hear Ye Zhen talking on the phone with someone, whom he called "doctor".

They mentioned his name.

Shen Feng breathed heavily the not-so-fresh air in the bathroom. He didn't know what he was thinking. When he came back to his senses, he was holding his mobile phone, and the screen was full of Yuan Feibai's name.

For matters of life and death, black fans dare not come out and jump around. Yuan Feibai's comment area is full of fans and passers-by who feel sorry for him.

Shen Feng's fingers moved down uncontrollably, until such a message appeared in his field of vision——

"When I saw the news, I was suddenly glad that my idol didn't suffer from depression because of the negative comments. Although what Yuan Feibai did before was not very kind, I still hope that he will recover slowly."

He is very familiar with the ID of the speaker, and he is one of his fans.

Shen Feng was almost stunned, and went back to the top, looking down one by one.

It was as if...these words were all addressed to him.

Shen Feng's head started to hurt again, from a pain like a needle prick to like an awl raging in his head.Shaking his hands, he took out a bottle of painkillers from his pocket, poured out a few pills, and swallowed them dryly.

After an unknown amount of time, the effect of the medicine finally came, and Shen Feng found himself sitting on the ground with his back against the door of the compartment, his face was icy cold.

He cried?

The get out of class was probably over outside, the students passed by the door of the bathroom, the footsteps were very noisy, Shen Feng didn't even get up, just leaned against the compartment door, quietly waiting for them to leave.

In a trance, he seemed to be back in April last year.

At that time, he was drunk by Mr. Wang, and the alcohol made him dizzy, but he always remembered that he could not reveal his identity and dared not fall asleep.

The effect of the painkiller came into play very quickly, and Shen Feng was a little sleepy.

No, no, he can't sleep now.

Is there someone talking outside?Is it Xiaofang?

Shen Feng thought, Xiao Fang probably wanted to tell him that Ye Zhen would be here soon.

The footsteps outside slowly stopped, Shen Feng felt his chest was cold, it smelled like alcohol, very pungent, so he raised his hand to pick up some of the clothes on his chest, and pulled out a long roll from the paper box next to him Paper towel, wiped carelessly.

Why didn't Xiaofang tell him that Ye Zhen was here?

He waited anxiously, and couldn't help asking softly, "Mr. Ye?"

It was only after he made a sound that he remembered that this was not the April when he was 21, now that he was 23, sitting in the bathroom of the university, Xiao Fang should still be waiting for him in the car at the school gate.

Shen Feng glanced at his chest, it was very clean, there was no scarlet liquor, and no pungent smell of alcohol.

Outside that door... Is there no Mr. Ye?

Shen Feng lowered his arms and propped himself on the ground, but before he could move, he suddenly heard a low sigh from outside the door, and the voice he was so familiar with replied softly: "Here, I'll pick you up."

Shen Feng's vision was blurred for a moment, and he seemed to return to the year when he was 21 years old, "...Mr. Ye?"

Ye Zhen's voice was still gentle: "I am here."

Shen Feng was stunned for a long time before he suddenly realized, stood up slowly and staggered, and opened the door with all his strength, and sure enough, he saw Mr. Ye standing outside the door.

Logically speaking, Shen Feng should be happy, but the moment he saw Ye Zhen, he was immediately struck by a great sense of sadness, and he found that he couldn't laugh at all.

A line of tears fell without warning, Shen Feng opened his mouth, "Ye..."

Mr. Ye?Or Ye Zhen?

Ye Zhen had no way of knowing, because the next moment, Shen Feng broke down in tears.

His heart suddenly throbbed, and Ye Zhen strode forward to hug Shen Feng into his arms, but he didn't dare to use too much force, for fear of accidentally touching his sensitive nerves and aggravating his sense of guilt.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Shen Feng wiped the tears on his face indiscriminately, apologizing with sobs, "It's my fault... I should laugh, right?"

Speaking of this, he raised his head and pulled the corners of his mouth to make that smile that he had trained thousands of times in front of the mirror in the body class.

Ye Zhen will never forget this scene for the rest of his life.

--

This evening, a suburban villa.

Shen Feng was sedated and fell asleep. Ye Zhen sat by the bed and watched him lost in thought.

In the past few months, although Xiao Fang said that he would no longer tell him Shen Feng's personal information, he would occasionally mention it once or twice when reporting his work schedule.

From this, knowing that Shen Feng started to experience symptoms such as insomnia and memory loss and lasted for more than two weeks, he contacted a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist's advice to him is to adjust his work, rest and diet, and adjust his emotions. The most important thing is that his family members should not care too much and put too much pressure on him.

"According to your description, he should be a very sensitive person. This kind of disease will make the patient more sensitive to the changes around him. The more you care about him, the more nervous he will feel."

Therefore, Ye Zhen resisted the urge to immediately bring Shen Feng back from the film crew, kept on the phone every day, and tried to show that he didn't see through Shen Feng's disguise.

But what he didn't expect was that after Shen Feng pushed him away, even Xiao Fang didn't fully trust him, and still concealed part of his illness.

If it wasn't for today, the teacher in charge told the old gentleman that he suddenly left the classroom before class started, and the old gentleman felt something was wrong, so he notified him in time, Ye Zhen didn't even know that Shen Feng's illness had become so serious.

During the day, Shen Feng's smile was so desolate that Ye Zhen couldn't even breathe, he was afraid that if he exhaled this breath, the person in front of him would collapse.

In the past, Shen Feng was just a child in front of him, he could see through what Shen Feng was thinking at a glance, but this time, no matter whether it was him or Xiao Fang, no one knew the pressure Shen Feng was bearing in his heart.

Ye Zhen initially thought that it was Director Chen's words, the fans' mocking of Yuan Feibai, which made Shen Feng feel that Yuan Feibai's bipolar disorder was all because of him, and he felt guilty and uneasy.

But the psychiatrist told him that Shen Feng's illness was earlier than Yuan Feibai's, but he hadn't even discovered it all the time.

Just now, after the psychiatrist came to treat Shen Feng, Fox and Zhou Boran came to him one after another. Combining their memories, he learned everything.

What happened to Yuan Feibai can only be regarded as a joke at best.Long-term insomnia, excessive work pressure, and overthinking are all one of the factors that aggravate the condition.

The psychiatrist said that Shen Feng's illness had hidden dangers four years ago.

The fox said that four years ago, Shen Feng was regarded as a meat rabbit and stayed in a rabbit head processing factory for a while.

Zhou Boran said that four years ago, he and Shen Feng had a misunderstanding. During that time, Shen Feng had no other friends around him, and he was always alone.

"At that time, the child was not in my jurisdiction, and I didn't know the specific situation." The fox glanced at Shen Feng in the soundproof barrier, and sighed, "When he first came to my place, he was very brave. Small and sensitive, rabbits rarely become sperm, I only met this one in these years, I thought it was their racial characteristics, but I didn't expect... If only I could find out sooner."

These were all things that Shen Feng didn't tell him when he confessed at the beginning. Ye Zhen felt as if his heart was holding his breath after hearing this, and said in a deep voice, "It's not your fault."

As soon as I moved to a new environment, I was frightened beyond my ability to bear it; when I was most afraid, the only friend I made was far away from me; I slept in a small locker in the locker room every day, bothered to manage interpersonal relationships, and was always worried about being exposed by others identity.

Even if this kind of experience is placed on ordinary human beings, they may not be able to bear it, let alone Shen Feng himself is a sensitive rabbit.

Combined with the diagnosis of a psychiatrist, Shen Feng may have experienced depression after he came out of the rabbit head processing factory four years ago, but his subconscious mind may have realized something was wrong, so he soon began to pay attention to exercise and diet, and took the initiative to make friends. Adjusted slowly.

Afterwards, the scares of the rabbit head twice, the attacks of black fans on variety shows, the pressure of the artist's career itself, and the pressure of the comparison with Yuan Feibai made him feel inferior and self-doubt, which again induced depression.

If it was just like this, Shen Feng would not have become what he is now.

After all, everyone has short-term depression, which is very different from real depression.

The most deadly point is that for some unknown reason, Shen Feng connected himself with Yuan Feibai.

Yes, the little rabbit demon is very kind, and he feels sorry for Yuan Feibai's illness, but he is not kind enough to force himself to become ill for a stranger.

This point even exceeded Ye Zhen's expectation.

Shen Feng once experienced the attacks of black fans. When he was immersed in depression, he saw Yuan Feibai, who was on the same path as him and who was also attacked by black fans. skills, triggered his own fear of the future.

Just like what Fei Fan said when belittling him earlier, he regards himself as the next Yuan Feibai.

So, when he started to forget his words and Xiao Fang held up the white paper to remind him, he instantly entered Yuan Feibai's life.

At this time, his illness may not be as serious as he thought, but his negative emotions convinced him that he just couldn't remember his lines, and he became like Yuan Feibai, and started to go downhill.

So when he learned that Yuan Feibai had cut his wrists, he would be so shocked, because in his thinking at the time, this was what he was about to experience.

Ye Zhen began to reflect on himself, why didn't he immediately make up his mind to enlighten Shen Feng when he first noticed that Shen Feng paid too much attention to other people's evaluations?

In fact, it should be his fault.

--

When Shen Feng woke up, it was already bright outside. He took the phone and saw that it was already 06:30.

He couldn't help being a little surprised.

You know, since the symptoms of insomnia, he has not been able to sleep well for a while.If the soundproofing of the room is not good, he will even wake up in the middle of the night because of the sound from other rooms, and then it is difficult to fall back asleep.

After returning to the villa, this situation did not change. Even if Ye Zhen moved the old housekeeper and servants to live outside, he would still be awakened by various small noises.

But today, he actually slept until morning?

What was even more unbelievable was that Ye Zhen was still lying beside him after six o'clock.

As if knowing what he was thinking, Ye Zhen leaned over, wrapped his arms around his body, hugged him vaguely, and explained in a low voice: "Mr. .”

Fox and Heavenly Master?They're finally back from their honeymoon?

Shen Feng's thoughts were a little wandering, and he didn't grasp the point after hearing these words. Instead, he looked straight at Ye Zhen and started another topic: "I seem to have skipped class yesterday?"

Ye Zhen's eyes froze, and his throat tightened when he spoke: "Yes. I have to punish you."

Hearing that he would be punished, Shen Feng was not surprised, "How to punish? I'll listen to you."

With Mr. Ye's uprightness, Shen Feng felt strange that he was not punished for skipping class.

Ye Zhen stared at him for a moment, "Punish you...answer me three questions."

Skipping class corresponds to three questions, this punishment is a bit lighter, but Shen Feng didn't care, nodded, "Okay."

"If you were having a party among friends, who would you invite?"

Shen Feng thought for a while in a daze, and then read out a few names: "Zhou Boran, Ou Ziqi, Mu Kai..."

"Very good." Ye Zhen said happily, "Second question, would you like to meet my friend?"

Hasn't this been seen before?

Shen Feng couldn't react, but nodded.

"The third question." Ye Zhen looked serious, "Your Mr. Ye wants to hold this party with you, do you agree?"

He and Mr. Ye hold a party among friends together, isn't that...

Shen Feng's mind finally became clearer, and he realized that Ye Zhen was making a promise to him.

Mr. Ye has always been a man of action, and he will not promise anything first, but as long as he asks, he will definitely do it.

Shen Feng suddenly felt dizzy, "But I haven't..."

Nothing yet?

He hasn't grown up enough to stand by Ye Zhen's side without letting his Mr. Ye be questioned.

Yes, when he went to the winery, Mr. Ye once said that his identity could not change the relationship between the two of them, but the knot in Shen Feng's heart has never been untied.

His career, his studies, his property...everything came from Mr. Ye.

Mr. Ye rescued him from the underground garage and the narrow closet in the dressing room, and guided him to grow up. His teacher, father, friend, and even his lover filled his life.

No matter who it is, when he meets such a person, as long as he meets such a person, from now on, this person will become his love at first sight, the direction of his eyes, the reason for the corner of his mouth...

his home.

The knot in Shen Feng's heart, the future that he fears and may not be able to reach, in the final analysis, is Ye Zhen.

Ye Zhen tightened his arms slowly, and hugged him tightly in such a way that Shen Feng would not find it abrupt, and pressed his lips to his forehead.

"No but... I just need you, okay."