Hibiscus is a promise to you

University.What will you encounter in college?I can't bear to be in a different place, meeting my first love, the choice of youth, the confusion of life, the pain of love... Life will be complete after experiencing these.

Before I went to college, I was once afraid of this complicated and simple small society, worried that I would not be able to adapt to the unfettered life, worried about the degenerate life without anyone in charge, and worried about the complicated and incompatible communication.But then again, if you have a thousand ways of living, you will have a thousand endings. The life of watching dramas and playing games in the dormitory is really both yearning and awe-inspiring, and the life of spending every day in the library with the world The isolated life is both fulfilling and somewhat boring, so what kind of life is the most suitable for them, some people don't understand it until they graduate, and some people don't understand it until many years after graduation.

I still don't know exactly what kind of life I want, but I know that I don't have a different place, no first love, and maybe no love pain, and I often wonder if I just spend four years in college like this.Yes, I am not in love, I am not immersed in the sea of ​​books, I am not busy with socializing, so I also wanted to go to the army for a while, maybe the army will make my life more fulfilling and mature, and I will not be aimless like this , I don’t have the ability and don’t want to work hard to dawdle.

Well, there is a lot of nonsense in front of me. It's not that I have lost hope in life, nor am I complaining about anything. It's just some small emotions about my one-year life in college. In fact, I want to say:

I want to thank,

Thank you for the ordinary life of that year,

Thank you for your bravery that year,

Thanks for the year I grew up,

The most important thing is to thank us that year.

With longing and timidity, Lin Miao stepped into the university campus.The military training is very busy, and I haven't had a chance to understand what college life is like. I'm just busy eating, sleeping, training and getting to know my classmates. It started like that vigorously, and ended in a mediocre way.Perhaps at the beginning, he was on guard when getting along with others, so until a long time later, Lin Miao felt that none of his roommates could really walk into his own psychology. Doing various things, I don’t know if others are the same as me. On the surface, I get along very well, but in my heart I think: just get along.

In just that moment, everything changed. After returning to school on November 1 holiday, the dormitory opened until the sleeping meeting. Roommate 2 broke up with her boyfriend who had been with him for seven years. Roommate 3 and his classmate were in military training. Together, roommate [-] just got together with the classmates in the next class a few days ago. For a while, some people were happy and some were worried, some were envious and some were worried.Is it really that fast?Before Lin Miao was ready, so many things had happened to the roommates who slept in the same room every day.

Roommate 1 is a little girl from Northeast China. Her boyfriend quit school a long time ago. Her parents objected to her friends’ objections. Why should she stay together if she has no future? Maybe her boyfriend entered the society earlier, so her thinking is more mature. A choice was made under a lot of pressure: let her go and get engaged to another person.When she was crying so hard and other people kept comforting her, Lin Miao just sat quietly, not knowing what words to use to comfort her. In fact, Lin Miao still admires that man very much, maybe it is best to separate In the end, if she doesn't have the ability to give her a good life, why bother to delay.Many times, we think that men are late in their psychological maturity, but in fact they are so calm and rational when making major decisions.

Roommate 2, has a boyfriend who has been with him for three years in high school, but when he entered university, he fell in love with a boy in his class, then broke up with his ex-boyfriend, and quickly got together with someone else.When a large group of single dogs were still waiting to be fed, they had already dumped one, and immediately found another one.This speed is a little fast and a little unbelievable.Lin Miao and the other roommates were very curious as to why, but since they were not too familiar with each other, they were too embarrassed to ask, but roommate 2 knew what they were thinking.She said: "When love comes, nothing can stop it. Maybe you will think that I am particularly immoral and extravagant, but I want to tell you that when I see him, I have a feeling that I want to keep walking with him." I have the urge to go down, so I don't care what others think of me, I just want to seize every opportunity I have to pursue happiness." After listening to her explanation, the roommates were obviously a little confused and didn't know what others thought Anyway, Lin Miao admires such a brave person very much.

Roommate 3 is a person who can live a prosperous life on the Internet. Before the start of school, he met the person in the class next door on the Internet.Lin Miao said: "Nothing can stop fate", but she said: "What is fate, I don't like him"

"Why are you still together if you don't like it?"

"Didn't people say that everyone in college has to fall in love? Isn't it the same to talk early and late? He confessed his love to me, and I agreed."

So sloppy, so irresponsible.Of course this cannot be said.

The sleep talk that night would make people unable to fall asleep for a long time, so Lin Miao thought of the person who couldn't get what he asked for, who could but couldn't get it.Maybe it's time for some changes and try to see the scenery elsewhere.So Lin Miao made a decision that was somewhat regretful, somewhat grateful, somewhat impulsive, and somewhat calm.I found a person from our school on the Internet as quickly as possible, and then we got together. She is a little t, and the two of them agreed from the beginning that they would be life partners. But the more happy thing is that the two of them are very peaceful. After the first semester of freshman year, there were holding hands, hugs, and kisses. (I used to say that I would never kiss anyone except her. It seems that everything will change.) During the winter vacation, Lin Miao suddenly felt that she was very immoral. She knew that she didn't like her. Fallen, very guilty.When it is broken, it will be disrupted.So I always wanted to find a chance to explain it to her, so Lin Miao seemed very indifferent those few days, until one day she suddenly asked: "What are your plans?"

"What's the plan" said something immoral, Lin Miao was a little secretly happy at that time, because if she said this first, it would hurt her very much.

"About us"

"What about you, what do you think?"

"Let me see you"

"Then why don't we break up?" For Lin Miao, this is a very good opportunity, so he must seize it.

"So direct?" Obviously she didn't expect to be broken up so directly, but what can be done then, if she has made up her mind not to be together, it is the best way.

"I think this is the best way"

"Is this what you think now?"

"more or less"

"Do you expect me to say yes?"

"Hopefully, we all know that the longer the time, the worse, there is no future without a plan"

"Okay, let's break up"

"kindness"

"Maybe we can still be friends in the future"

"Of course, it would be nice to live a more frank life."

Later, she said a lot of things, but Lin Miao didn't reply, because it was unnecessary. Although she said they were still friends, everyone knew that they were polite words. , who knows what will happen in the future, whether we can be friends or not depends on fate.So just like that, Lin Miao still had a relationship in college, but not many people knew about it.

Although Lin Miao feels a little guilty, sometimes it's okay to think about it. Although he has no feelings, he has devoted himself to that relationship, so he should be worthy of it.

I thought that Han Ziyan would never appear again in my life, but it happened to be such a coincidence.Zhang Tao, a good friend of Lin Miao's junior high school, posted a circle of friends, she said: "I like a person from junior high school to university, from single to engaged." In an instant, Lin Miao was inexplicably sad, and she didn't know what the reason was Driven, I suddenly wanted to contact Han Ziyan, maybe this was destined in the dark, after thinking about it, I am really grateful for the impulse at that time, which made her understand a lot of things.So, just do it if you want to do it, and send a message to Han Ziyan on an impulse:

"What are you doing, I miss you all of a sudden" Han Ziyan said afterwards, I was really scared at that time, I never thought that you would take the initiative to contact me, and even said directly 'I miss you' so directly.

Later, we chatted a lot and talked about our lives for a semester.Later, Han Ziyan said, "Why didn't you contact me? You didn't even ask me out when I came back for a holiday. You just went to have fun with your little sisters."

"Without a young lady, there is no happiness." Lin Miao knew that Han Ziyan was expressing her displeasure in a joke, so she also said it very sincerely, maybe it is destined that this chat will be different.

"Hahaha, I knew it, you only have me in mind"

"Yes"

"Really, don't seduce me, what if I fall in love with you, no, what if I fall in love with you again, no no no, in fact, I have always loved you."

"Oh...then you are willing to be seduced"

"Yes, yes, you are so attractive that I fell in love with you, so do you want to consider being my girlfriend?"

"Of course I will"

"I'm serious, I'm not kidding"

"I've always been serious, why am I not serious?"

"I don't think so, you're kidding"

"Oh? Then how can you be sincere?"

"Think for yourself"

Lin Miao thought for a long time, and suddenly realized that it was Han Ziyan who was confessing to herself, why did the painting style change? "Hey, you are the one who confessed to me, why is it that I am now thinking about how to confess to you?"

"Hehehe..." Because you love me dear, and because you are stupid, hehehe.

"Then... I like you, come with me"

"..."

"What's the matter, how simple, direct and connotative"

"Then why were you so indifferent to me before, so indifferent that I didn't have the courage to bother you?"

"Because one day I suddenly found out that I fell in love with you." This is the first time Lin Miao said "love"

"what about now"

"Never changed, I thought I'd forget, it's been so long or nothing"

"Then do you want to be with me? Answer me after you think about it"

No consideration or hesitation "I said I think I want it, as long as you still want me"

"But I'm very scared. I'm afraid I'll hurt you again. You know me so well, how can you not understand?"

"If you still want to leave, I won't blame you"

"it is good"

"Why did you agree"

"I love you"

"Okay, then we're together"

"Already together, idiot"

"I can't do it again if I want to say it again." But Lin Miao found out that when he encountered something about Han Ziyan, he had no choice but to be cowardly, but there was no way to do it, because of love.

"Fool"

Later, Lin Miao found out that Han Ziyan was digging a hole step by step, and then let her dance. This is the consequence of low EQ. (wronged face)

People who are nourished by love are different. Every day is smooth sailing. Han Ziyan never cares about other people's eyes. Every night when she is making videos, she is particularly disgusting. She also calls "girlfriend girlfriend" every day, and her roommates are numb. .He told his roommates from the night they were together, and they all expressed their understanding, because she has always been the kind of person who can do whatever she wants.But Lin Miao was different. Apart from telling Wang Peiru and that ex-girlfriend, no one knew about it. The roommate only knew that the video was a woman every night, and the relationship was pretty good, and she didn't think about it as a couple.So it happened. One day when they were on the phone, the roommates mentioned a certain boy, and that boy was still pursuing Lin Miao, so the chat history was a bit nasty. They snatched it away, and they read what the man said unscrupulously. Lin Miao couldn't listen anymore. Naturally, Han Ziyan heard it clearly, so she hung up the phone, and then they had a cold war. After such a stalemate, it was Han Ziyan who finally took the initiative to speak.

"My roommate said that we don't have each other in our hearts, otherwise how could we not talk for such a long time, it's inappropriate, I think it's a bit interesting"

What Lin Miao didn't expect was that Han Ziyan's first sentence was actually like this, Lin Miao thought for a long time before replying to her: "If you have decided", Lin Miao didn't know what she was thinking at that time, maybe she just didn't want to restrain She, it all depends on her thoughts, it's really humble to love someone.

Little did they know that Han Ziyan was going to die of anger when she saw this sentence, "I've made up my mind and made up my mind, so we're still friends."

"I can't do it" Lin Miao always knew that he couldn't do it, either stay together, or stay away from each other forever, anyway, he just couldn't be friends.

"There's nothing you can't do, do you know what the Cold War means, don't care"

Lin Miao couldn't figure out why Han Ziyan said such decisiveness. He wanted to respect her but didn't want to give up. After several hours, he said, "Tell me, should I give up?" Sure enough, she didn't accept it. When it came to the answer, Han Ziyan probably felt that there was no need to reply.

When they were together for a few days, the two agreed that Lin Miao had time to go to the south to find Han Ziyan, because they hadn't seen each other for seven months, so naturally the air tickets had already been booked, and after the quarrel that day, the two had a tacit understanding Did not talk about it.Seeing that the agreed time was getting closer and closer, it would be Han Ziyan who could lose her composure first.If you think about it, you can't get angry, it's obviously because she has a lot of rotten peach blossoms, she knows that she is angry, and if she doesn't come to coax her, she has to take the initiative to talk and complain, and she said nonsense "if you decide", it is simply , this person's EQ and IQ are too low. Although Han Ziyan also knew that she had always been immature, she was still so immature after so long, but she didn't know that Lin Miao was only so immature in front of her.Alas, forget it, who makes love.

"Are you still coming?" Han Ziyan's words were so forceful that she believed that Lin Miao understood what she was talking about.

"Yeah" Then, then nothing, then, they started talking again, obviously they had already mentioned the score, but no one mentioned it, this is an inevitable tacit understanding.

Han Ziyan went to Nanchang to go to university, and then they stayed in Nanchang for a few days. They hadn't seen each other for a long time, and it was the first time they met after being together for so many years. The ground has regained the feeling of being familiar with each other, but this feeling has somewhat changed.When I return to the hotel at night, after washing up, I sleep together and chat together. What lovers are most afraid of is looking at each other. There are many things that can be seen in the eyes, especially since they haven't seen each other for so long, they are full of longing.Guess who couldn't help it first?Hahaha, of course it was Lin Miao.Lin Miao looked into her eyes, they were so beautiful, and the eyes were full of doting, which made it impossible not to fall in love. Then she suddenly moved forward and kissed Han Ziyan's lips. That's right, Lin Miao just kissed Han Ziyan fiercely. Fortunately, Han Ziyan is also used to it, a guy who will never flirt.Han Ziyan made Lin Miao very nervous. As soon as she touched her lips, Lin Miao was so nervous that she couldn't do anything. She had difficulty breathing and her heart beat faster. Luckily, Han Ziyan had seen all her ugly appearances.So she didn't take the next step. If she kissed back, she really wasn't sure if Lin Miao would be hypoxic.

After leaving for a long time, Lin Miao said, "I'm nervous again."

Han Ziyan was helpless, as expected, she was still so hopeless, "Miaomiao, we have gone through so much and we are still together in the end, this shows that it is inevitable, although we have changed a lot, but love has not changed, since the previous way of getting along cannot let We are together well, so we are starting again now, so don't be pressured, let's take our time, get to know each other slowly, okay?"

Han Ziyan, a liberal arts student, can talk, and Lin Miao's tears are about to come out when she speaks, especially when she hears her say the word "Miao Miao", a certain part of her heart is touched, how many people have she heard call herself that? , there is no feeling like the touch of a feather, it is so soft, so warm, or so solid, with a sense of security that I have never had before. At that moment, I really thank myself for having such a name.Is there really that much magical power just by calling the name?Maybe, love to the depths, the name called out with heart, maybe it is such a magical power.

They really lay down together and said a lot of things, Han Ziyan is not Liu Xiahui, of course she will press back, she pressed Lin Miao under her body while talking, kissed hard, and then flirted with it. Smacking his mouth, Lin Miao blushed.The most blushing thing was when she was sleeping at night. Not only was Han Ziyan holding her up from behind, her hands were still restless. Knowing that Lin Miao's whole body was covered with itchy flesh, she kept blowing air on her neck. If Lin Miaozhou hadn't been so tired It's not so easy for her to live.

In those few days, they just hugged each other and slept without doing anything further. Sometimes it is really strange to think about it. How did they know that they would not be together in the end, so the final line of defense has never been broken through.The biggest breakthrough is probably that each other only sleeps in underwear/pants, and maybe they both have desires, but probably reason is greater than desire.I think it's not that I don't love, it's just that I'm not sure about love.

Lin Miao was about to leave, and she left quietly one morning. They had agreed the night before that Han Ziyan would not get up early tomorrow. Although Lin Miao's movements were very light, it still woke up the people around her.Han Ziyan didn't sleep well all night. Every time she turned over, Han Ziyan knew, and was inexplicably afraid, afraid to leave.So when Lin Miao opened the door and was about to go out, Han Ziyan jumped up from the bed, dragged Lin Miao back, and couldn't wait to press her against the wall, feeling scared like never before. In fact, Lin Miao was also very sad and didn't want to leave. , this time there is no restraint or tweaking, they are all in such a hurry, I don't want to separate!I don't want to be separated!I don't know how long it took, but Han Ziyan regained her senses first, let go of Lin Miao, and silently shed two lines of tears. As soon as Han Ziyan cried, Lin Miao panicked. Feel.However, the living reality was before her eyes, and there was nothing she could do. In the end, Lin Miao raised her hand to wipe her tears, and hugged her for a while before leaving.

Lin Miao had been away for a long time before Han Ziyan sent her a message: "Suddenly I feel that parting is a particularly painful thing. No matter where I am in the future, don't come to me. I am deeply desperate and have no power to fight back."

Looking at this passage, don't think about it, Han Ziyan must be crying again, and Lin Miao is also very sad, "If you think of me, look at my photos more, respectively, for the next good reunion."

"Hmph, who misses you, I'm going to bed"

Hmph, tsundere.

A few days after Lin Miao returned to school, Han Ziyan suddenly said, "No, it's not suitable for the two of us, we should look for it."

try to find?What are you looking for, each looking for their own, or they are still together, it is really puzzling, Lin Miao is still struggling with what she means.Han Ziyan added: "I don't want to be ambiguous, I don't think it's appropriate. Either we're together, our actions are justified, or we can be friends, don't be like this."

"Either we are together, or I can't be friends with you"

"Then be together, I can't let you and me be strangers"

"Just be together if you want to be together, I don't know what you are struggling with"

"It's just very tangled, because the other party is you, and I don't want to let you down"

Live up to?What's wrong, Lin Miao is very strange, Han Ziyan is always so incomprehensible, it's really hard to understand her. "Hey hey, stupid pig"

"Don't call me stupid pig"

"Hahahahaha"

"Why are you so annoying"

The two seem to get along very well, but they still feel a little awkward in the dark. One day in May, Lin Miao's father died suddenly of a cerebral infarction. The news was so sudden that Lin Miao took a two-week leave to go back to his hometown to mourn. During this period, he had less contact with Han Ziyan.Although Han Ziyan was in a hurry, there was nothing she could do about it. During this period, she also thought a lot. She used to think about how hard she worked so that the pressure of being together would be less.Later, I got a little tangled, because my own efforts were far from enough, and Lin Miao's parents were still a little feudal, and that level was more difficult. Although these are external factors, there are also internal problems, and they are not compatible with each other. We are very familiar, and the feeling of being together has changed.Now it's not just entangled, it's really uncertain. She lost her father and can't lose her mother anymore, so she can't lose her anymore.In fact, when people are struggling, they often already have the answer in their hearts.

For a long time, Lin Miao didn't get over the emotion of losing her father. She was also thinking about what to do with her life and what to do in the future. Although she had her brother to help, she was still different from her father after all.Han Ziyan, it's probably really impossible for us this time.

Just like this, there is no breakup and no explanation, just gradually alienated, all explanations are unnecessary, because we understand, so we have a tacit understanding.

It is impossible to say that Lin Miao really let go, but he just doesn't say it in his heart.Stranger, stranger, what a choice.

Later, they would chat occasionally, like good old friends, but also like familiar strangers, so it's awkward, it shouldn't be awkward.

Lin Miao: I don’t regret it. On the contrary, I am very grateful for my impulsiveness at that time. I impulsively took the initiative to contact her and take the initiative to be with her. Only when we are together can we know how inappropriate it is, and only when we are separated can we know that we can be so comfortable. get along with.I don't know which day it was, but I suddenly understood that everything is over, it's all over, I love her, I will always love her, but the way of loving is different, and the identity of love is also different.It's just that my heart has been empty for so many years. I was so powerless when I loved, and I was also so powerless when I didn't love. That's all right, why care about the distance?

Han Ziyan: Is this ending okay?Not okay, maybe okay, maybe it should be, she doesn't have enough courage, I don't have enough ability.I love her, I have loved her all my life, I only hope that in the next life she is brave enough, and I am good enough, I only hope that I will not miss it again.

The author has something to say: After the stuttering article is finished, it cannot be regarded as a novel, but it can only be said to be a personal emotional experience. It is a particularly beautiful thing to write down my emotional experience for so many years. Some people will I think it would be very sad to revisit the past, but in fact, revisiting one's own experience will make people grow up. What is growing up, growing up is understanding and tolerance, and slowly learning to love and be loved.Exploring, falling, getting up, summarizing, and exploring again... Although this is a bit like the chicken soup we often hear, this is life, so I am still very grateful for such a tortuous life experience.