[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

No, my sister can't learn to crawl from a sand crocodile!

Titan Tower is now Baby Helena's favorite place besides the supermarket. Every time she comes here to play, she will quietly turn her head and look at it for a while in the trolley. She doesn't need to hug or play with her. It's so rare.

reason?Probably because here is not only bright, everything in sight is fresh, not only has the red-haired sister Xinghuo flying around with her in her arms, but also one who will turn into various green animals in front of her eyes. Beastie Boys...

The Titans couldn't resist the cuteness of the little girl with black hair and green eyes, and rushed to hug her. The older brother Damian who was supposed to take care of the baby often couldn't touch the little girl's hair when he arrived at this base of operations.

As for whether Robin Damian, who is drawing the battle plan in front of the computer, is happy and leisurely, anyway, Xiao Qiao, who has been used as a coolie and is almost rounded from milking to feeding, is quite skeptical.

Krypton's artificial intelligence is already serving as a childcare wife for your family, and now Superman's son will take care of the baby in the action team?

——The Superman family is too difficult.

So basically Damian is enlisting his teammates to be babysitters.Regarding this incorrect use method of his teammates, Damian took it for granted and was so proficient that Titan Tower has now prepared a whole set of baby products from cribs to dining chairs.

Regarding Xiao Qiao's accusation of being "lazy", Damian, who was facing a thermal analysis map of the Arabian region in front of the big screen, held his chin and meditated, and snorted.

There's no way around it, is he willing to bring his baby sister to let this group of pig teammates watch and play?

Father and Drake have been busy with the matter of resisting Brainiac recently, running to the space base every day, detecting signals, laying out a first line of defense outside the watchtower and so on.

The maintenance of law and order in Gotham City was temporarily handed over to Grayson, Todd, and Barbara Gordon. Afu took over the information dispatching role that was once mainly assumed by Barbara in the Batcave.

Seven or eight-month-old babies are becoming more and more difficult to take care of, their energy is getting stronger, their bodies are becoming more flexible, and their self-awareness is also increasing-even if they are not uncomfortable, neither hungry nor thirsty, diapers are also The new one, even if it’s just boring, will cry if you don’t like it.

It is no longer possible for the increasingly dishonest little guy to be strapped in a baby carrier by Alfred or Damian, and take the baby "by the way" while working in the Batcave.

She would stuff it into her mouth as soon as she caught it, step on or tap on some instrument or keyboard without paying attention-who knows which key she would tap?

Therefore, with all members performing their duties, Damian, who was always arranged by his father to "evacuate the masses", was asked to take care of the baby full-time this time.

——Well, it's not very unpleasant, it's better than "evacuate the masses".

But it is impossible for "Strongest Robin" Damian to be willing to stay at home and stare at two transgender artificial intelligence nannies.

He must come to Titan Tower, the world is still waiting for him to save it.

——One point that Damian has been unable to understand is that it seems that his father and the others have selectively ignored the corrected timeline, the role of the League of Assassins as a shit stick.

Damian can only guess that his father and Grayson used their redundant "sympathy" and felt that it was not his fault that he was brainwashed and controlled, but that he was weak and needed to be protected...

Think he is innocent and don't want to bring it up in front of him...

But this treatment angered Damian more than thinking that he was a natural devil.

The objective reality is that his mother and grandfather have been eyeing him, which is not difficult to understand.Damian has always understood that his birth was not the crystallization of love and the continuation of life, but a huge painstaking effort and years of management, allowing his mother and grandfather to select his father's genes and "create" him,

He is a "work" belonging to the League of Assassins, how could he give up so easily?

Damian had naively thought that perhaps his rebellion and loyalty to his father had disappointed his grandfather, and then gave up.

So...they've actually been holding back their big moves, waiting to find some one-and-done way to really turn him around mentally?

Is it even possible that placing him next to his Batman father was part of the "bringing"?Let him master enough skills and gain an understanding of the Justice League over the years...

If he didn't know enough about his own willpower, Damian would even wonder if he had a built-in "awakening" system, which could directly switch to the servant state of the League of Assassins under the influence of a word if necessary.

Damian understood that his father's task of taking care of Helena had excluded him from the entire operation, presumably to keep him away.

This didn't bother him much. Instead, he felt that the timing was just right—he was a mature Robin. The League of Assassins, his mother, and his grandfather were all his own problems, and of course he had to solve them himself.

Therefore, in order to avoid being noticed by his father, Damian naturally cannot use any equipment related to the Bat family. He must and can only come to the Titan Tower.

But be aware that it is against the law to leave infants and young children home alone in the United States.Although it is said that there is Ah Fu in the Batcave, and there are two artificial intelligence nannies.

However, whether the escort of artificial intelligence counts or not, the law has not yet stipulated this point... Damian will not be relieved if he does not see the baby with his own eyes.

Remote monitoring?

Ahem, goodbye, if you watch the monitor in the Titan Tower, you will definitely be seen by other teammates, especially Beast Boy who likes to join in the fun.And the current appearance of the two robots at home is too challenging, and the children of Titan will not be able to keep their eyes.

While Damian is bitter about the strategic plan, the young male nanny, Joe, is wrestling with Helena's little paws over a soft silicone spoon.

Even though her small hand is not as big as half the palm of Damian's boy, she has a brute force that she doesn't know where it comes from. She would rather be dangled with her whole body than give up Put the spoon in your mouth!

She doesn't like food supplements, but loves spoons, plastic bags, mobile phones, bugs...

The little dumpling started playing without eating a few mouthfuls of baby pasta-this is already a rare victory. Before today, neither the father nor the few overzealous brothers had been able to stuff a piece of pasta Having entered the little girl's mouth, Damian thought it was necessary to commend Jonathan Kent, a master feeder.

But the scene was horrible. Xiaotuanzi's little hand, which had no place to rest, snatched the plate just before grabbing the spoon. The whole dinner plate is buckled on the head...

Oil-free and salt-free pure natural tomato puree and broccoli puree, accompanied by soft pasta particles, made Xiaotuanzi his face.

Just turned into a little green robin bird, flying up the dining chair to amuse the baby, Beastie Boy is almost caught in a spaghetti storm, he quickly turns into a cat, jumps far, and licks himself hair.

However, baby Helena still thought it was funny, she wiped her face with her paws, giggling and giggling.

Little Qiao had nothing to love, "Damian... this..."

Damian glanced, "Normal, she's imitating Todd's shaving."

Dare to say this tomato puree is shaving foam!

Xinghuo flew over with a small cartoon towel to wipe the baby, and before taking the baby away for a bath, he did not forget to dig into Xiao Qiao's dark history, "You were more destructive than her when you were young! You go to the space base, you are so hungry, you once knocked a hole in the refrigerator in the watchtower, how old were you at that time? Less than six months? The bucket of milk in stock is a circle bigger than you, and you can violently drag Open the lid, hug and drink."

Xiao Qiao blushed with embarrassment, "No, it's impossible... I'm half a Kryptonian, and my dad said that I'm enough to bask in the sun."

Xinghuo blinked, "That was when you were in the first three months, and then there wasn't enough sunshine. You still like to eat apple pie, and you like to eat it naked and hug it. You can eat five at a time."

Xiao Qiao was cueed innocently, and the beast boy laughed like a rolling husky.

Damian despises it—tsk, it will cause battle damage at a young age.

After Princess Tamaran left behind the legend of the extraordinary baby Joe, she flew to the bathroom while holding the little dumpling up high, humming that the baby is so cute. Let's take a bath, and I don't mind being covered in tomato mud at all.

Little Joe and Beast Boy looked at the mess in the room... Xinghuo, you probably have some misunderstandings about cuteness.

A teammate was worried about his sister's daily life, so Damian continued to devote his energy to the analysis of the recent actions of the League of Assassins until Xinghuo reappeared about 10 minutes later holding a baby washing incense...

Damian was about to politely reply that the washing was fast, and then continue to work, but after he glanced at the little girl's outfit...

fuck...

Baby Helena wore the same rose red lace dress as Starfire's uniform, with a headband on her forehead, and a huge green gemstone inlaid on the hairband—the same style as the one on Starfire's chest.

The most suffocating thing was that the little baby was also wearing a fiery red wig similar to Xinghuo. The little girl didn't know what it was, and was about to drag it into her mouth.

"Are you cute?" Xinghuo happily asked Damian, Joe and Garfield who stayed on the spot, "Take a group photo with us~"

Damian not only lost his busy mind, but also wanted to poke his eyes!

He rushes to save his sister, who is surrounded by Starfire's weird fashion from the planet Tamaran - if you want to play with the baby, you can have a baby with Dick yourself!Don't steal my game!

However, Xinghuo is very puzzled, and feels a little wronged—how does her dressing up the baby and her matching suit differ from the street photos of you Bat boys who are often photographed holding babies by paparazzi and fashion magazines?

There are also those Hollywood stars, holding their cute babies in one hand, wearing sunglasses, their fashion is suddenly a few notches higher than going out on the street alone.

Cory, the alien princess from the distant planet Tamarin, therefore concludes that babies can also be fashion accessories.

You see, you Damian was just photographed yesterday. The cool young master Wayne took his sister to a high-end early childhood education center in downtown Gotham to find children of the same age to have fun and socialize. When getting off the car, he covered his sister's face with his palm , avoiding the camera of the paparazzi, maybe because he was worried that the surrounding noise would scare the little milky yellow dumpling in his arms, and while kicking the camera of the paparazzi with sharp green eyes, he kissed the baby on the forehead in the palm of his hand...

This series of shots made fans from 10 years old to 50 years old all over the United States go crazy.

It turned out that the boring young master of the Wayne family, who had always been low-key and had no news, actually looked like such a treasure in the world. He not only inherited the beauty of Gotham's old baby, but also brought a little exotic style.

Damian, who was picking Xiaotuanzi's wig, choked.

What "sharp and clear green eyes"!That is the death sight of my strongest Robin, staring at whoever is next to die!

No one would have thought that Damian Wayne, whose reputation in the fashion industry has always been lower than that of the Trump/Trump/Prump grandson, actually had a street bid that surpassed those of the Beckham family one day.

The entertainment industry seems to have discovered a new world. After all, the pictures of the four beautiful brothers taking their babies out of the street are better than Hollywood male stars.

Damian has even started appearing on the entertainment tabloid's "Prince" list - in terms of wealth, the Wayne family is indeed richer than all the royal families...

Batists have tried their best to buy or sue the pictures showing the baby's face, and even directly bought newspapers and entertainment websites.But now everyone has a mobile phone, and everyone can take pictures. Unless the power of the bat network is exposed and the network is directly wiped out, it is impossible to prevent being photographed.

In this regard, Dick and Tim, who entered the upper social circle earlier, are used to it. After having a younger sister, they only get photographed a little more often.

But Damian and Jason are really sick of it.

Jason almost punched a paparazzi who popped out of the bushes and scared the baby to tears.

And if Dick hadn't stopped him, Damian would have gone to bomb the newspaper.

The busy Robin was forced to leave work and change into "normal" clothes with the baby in his arms - a white fart jacket with a small crocodile printed on his chest.

Joe: "Maybe this is... baby boy clothes?"

Damian: "Shut up."

Then, ready to get back to work, Robin gives her overzealous teammate a new parenting task—put Helena on a thick rug and teach her to crawl.

Because almost all the other dolls of the same age in the early childhood education center could crawl yesterday, but Helena was still sitting and babbling silly.Damian, who has never had a sense of "backward" crisis, experienced a fresh heartache.

"It's easy, leave it to me!" Garfield patted his chest.

Then he turned into... a green crocodile in place.

Perhaps inspired by the baby's clothes?

But looking at the little Helena on the carpet, excitedly following behind an abnormal crocodile, stretching out her hand to grab the tail, and the little girl's posture getting more and more strange...

No, my sister can't learn to crawl from a sand crocodile!