[Comprehensive British and American] Bat Parenting Encyclopedia

Is she considering quitting?Looking to switch career paths?

Bruce: ...

Ah Fu: ...

Tony: (innocent wink)

"Flying so far, just to give [a] pacifier?" Bruce emphasized in a Gotham baby style.

Are Avengers and Stark Industries so idle?

"Breath the fresh air of Gotham?" Tony took off his sunglasses and made an exaggerated breathing motion.

"Of course, I also came to see the baby. You see, I brought gifts." He shook the pacifier in his hand proudly, not at all thinking that the newborn gift of the chairman of the Fortune 500 company was just a few dollars for a pacifier. Excuse me.

"What's so good about a baby. It's not my first baby."

Not counting adoption/adoption or biological, this is not the first time, when Damian appeared a few years ago, I didn't see Tony, you came to see my son.

Tony just wants to roll his eyes, as if your inexplicably irritable son will let me rub it flat and round it—why do you think that kid has been rebellious in his youth?

Look at Peter in New York, how nice he is.

Bruce took the pacifier that Tony was showing off, and shook the little pink handle, "No, you don't understand me."

"Why don't you buy a few more?"

Tony, you are definitely not short of this money.When the two were young, they sent remote control planes to each other by calling.

——Why buy so much?

——Change and wash!

Bruce Lee Straight or Straight, Strong Wayne

This time it was Tony's turn to be speechless.

The two are used to hurting each other.

And when Ah Fu wanted Tony to enter the Wayne house, Tony stood still suddenly——

"Wait, let me and Bruce have a few words alone."

The two walked quietly through the gardens of the mansion for a few minutes, and just when Bruce almost thought Iron Man himself was really getting some fresh Gotham air, Tony finally spoke.

Tony stopped and turned to look at Bruce, "I remember you swore, when you were a kid, you know... after that."

He paused, "At that time, you were only an 8-year-old kid. When you came to my house to play with a straight face, it was like a routine. At that time, you swore that you would never have children, and said that if you died in front of the children, the children would die. How painful."

Of course Bruce knew Tony was alluding to that - Crime Alley, his parents...

He pursed his lips, "Why ask me now, I already have four sons."

"The first three, I thought you just wanted to do charity." The rich man in sunglasses shrugged, unable to see whether he was serious or joking, "The fourth, Damian? Forgive me for saying this - he was indeed an accident in the beginning , not in your plan."

"And now this... baby, you have to raise her since she was a little baby, which is really different, Bruce."

"If family can bring you happiness, of course I am very relieved, you have my 100% support, just like Damian never pays attention to me, I still give him birthday presents every year. But this time you have Batman's Boy, as far as I know, that guy is not a friendly partner, and he never takes the law seriously, he is a nuisance, and you are too closely connected with him."

"And now, all of Batman's enemies will come at you because of this child - originally you, as Batman's patron, were already a target, and now their firepower is even more aimed at you." Tony pointed his index finger at his face and laughed. The Gotham baby pointed, "Not only are you putting yourself in danger, but even Damian and Ah Fu will follow you to take unnecessary risks."

The degree of earnestness made Tony doubt how he became the captain.

It is enough to see the willfulness of Wayne's heir.Made Tony an old lady.

Tony said that he doesn't know what he's talking about...Of course this child can't be ignored, but he is also very worried about his old friend's personal safety. His father has explained it back then, and hopes that he can take more care of Bruce and give it to Thomas in heaven. An explanation from Wayne.

As a naive playboy, Bruce, you have no armor and can’t fight. Even though you are full of tendons, it is not practical. Although it is not to the extent that you are powerless, how many accidents have you had in extreme sports? up?

Otherwise... Tony had an idea, take this child to me and raise him?

As for Batman's enemy, the clown Bane, Iron Man himself said that he is not afraid.

Before Tony could make this nonsensical suggestion, Bruce shook his head and said casually, "I'm not going to cut him out of the kid's life. He'll... have a certain connection with the kid, will Participate in the child's growth process."

Bruce felt that the more he talked, the more nonsense... Well, it's not too nonsense.

Tony couldn't understand it even more... What is this, a cat girl, raised by Wayne, and a bat came to visit?

What kind of weird family structure is this?

Are you sure you two are not a couple? !

Seeing Bruce's indifferent face, it's obvious that he can't get involved, and Tony expressed a headache about it (as for whether the captain also has such a headache for him every day, it's out of Tony's consideration...)

Afterwards, the two chatted for a few words about group cooperation, and then walked into the mansion. Tony also "visited" the baby who was being fed by Ah Fu in the crib as he wished.

However, when he wanted to hug him, he was stopped by Bruce, who was very serious, saying that the child is only a few days old and his resistance is too weak. Don't hug or kiss randomly. Who knows if you have any pathogenic bacteria on you Wait, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

How could he be disgusted again...

Wait a minute, the playboy who was fooling around turned into a dad in such an instant?

He watched helplessly as Bruce hugged the soft, palm-sized baby on his shoulder, and patted the hiccup gently. Although the movements were still a little stiff and cautious, he clearly knew what he was doing...

The baby burps and spits on Bruce's shoulder.

The Gotham playboy wiped his face indifferently.

Tony's jaw was about to drop, indicating who this person in front of him must not be the Bruce he knew...

The little baby is really cute, but not very good-looking, small and wrinkled, only knows to sleep after eating, has no interaction with people, and is a little yellow, Tony. Parenting knowledge is blank. Stark , I don't know that this is normal jaundice.

He's just thinking, it doesn't look like it's going to look good under the Batman mask.

Can't hug, President Stark can only bow his head and visit friendly.

"Does the child have a name?"

This is a very common question, right?

In the end, it stumped the new dad.

"Uh...no name yet."

"Then what do you call her?"

"...the Baby"

The definite article plus noun has a strong referential meaning.

"the Baby..."

After Tony repeated confirmation, he had no choice but to support his forehead.This Batman didn't even give a name?

And on Bruce's side, the three children almost got into a fight over the issue of the child's name in the past few days - they all felt that the name they chose was good.

From Nordic mythology to ancient Greek names, one can quote the classics more than the other, but each is more weird than the other.

Ah Fu simply recommended "Selina" to inherit his mother's name.

The "Martha" of the child's grandma?It is not considered at all.

Although inheriting the name is also a beautiful tradition, he hopes that the child can have an independent life, instead of carrying some heavy memories and commemorations upon birth.

So the question of names was shelved.

As for the nanny issue of "theBaby", Tony is even more incomprehensible.Please don't be the best, Bruce, you just pay, and someone will be responsible for recommending the best candidates for you.

You can even get a Ph.D. graduate.

Bruce shook his head at that, "I still have to do a background check."

"Investigate what? Education? Religious belief? Health status?"

These surveys are not difficult at all, and you can entrust an intermediary.

"Then what else to investigate, love history? Sexual orientation? Do you support the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"

With a deep expression on his face, Bruce shook his head again, showing a hint of disappointment, "The melody is second, mainly because they didn't meet my requirements."

any request?The highest money in the industry, but can't find one that suits you?Need my Tony Stark outmato assistant to find you?My little pepper is very capable, and I will definitely find you a perfect nanny.

Regarding Tony's question, Bruce shrugged, "Just like Ah Fu, that's fine."

Tony held his forehead helplessly again, let him say something...

So Bruce, you want to find another nanny version of Alfred, a former secret agent who is the same age as your parents but better than you?

Can play, cook, iron clothes, throw parties, manage your schedule...

God, he said he wanted to invite a Fu!

It's so hard, Bruce, it's more realistic for you to make Alfred Mitosis one out.

"No way, Tony, you also said that the baby's safety will be a headache," Bruce spread his hands, "so I must hire someone who can protect her."

At this moment, Bruce squeezed his chin, and seemed to think of something, "Your black widow... Is she considering changing jobs? Want to change her career path?"

Tony's eyebrows almost went up into his hair, "You want Natasha to babysit the kids?"

The author has something to say:

*Tony: Let's call Martha.

Bruce: Why do you say that name! ! ! ! ! ! !

(BvS Martha Terrier, don’t take it seriously..._(:з」∠)_