die away

The ghost messenger stood up and blew away the chessboard in one breath.

"you are leaving?"

"Well, it's almost time, and I still have two ghosts to watch."

When I heard that there were two brothers in the same situation as me, I couldn't help frowning, "What happened recently?"

"Well, why are there more and more idiots recently?"

"........."

The ghost messenger waved at me, "It's okay, think about how to let out that breath, see you later."

"Goodbye."

After the ghost guard left, I turned around and came to the place where I jumped off the building every day, sat down and looked ahead. The ghost guard said that I could escape the torture of dying every day only by letting go of my obsessions, but I couldn't let go.

The faces of my parents suddenly appeared in front of me. They pointed at me and scolded me for being shameless, saying that I was a monster and mentally ill. Dearest, I really can't accept it.

"What did you say? You and Yang Yi? You two..."

Mom and Dad looked at me blankly, Mom's words were stuck in her throat, and the wine glass in Dad's hand suddenly slammed at me. I closed my eyes instinctively, and my forehead hurt.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw my mother's sad eyes. She was worried about me, but she and my father were on the same front, so she would not show it.

I didn't hide, this is what I should bear, "I'm sorry."

"Are you crazy! What are two men! Are you disgusting!"

I lowered my head and tightly grasped the corner of my clothes and silently endured their abuse. I have imagined this scene many times, but when I actually faced it, it still hurt so much that I wanted to cry. I thought I was very strong , but this is not the case.

"We mean it."

"Fuck/Your mother!" This time, my father lifted the table directly, and my mother hid aside in fright, and the flying food directly sprinkled on my body. I like the dishes made by my mother the most. The taste is It is unique to home, but now this taste is strange to me.

I raised my head and my father had already walked into the kitchen. When he came out again, he was holding a kitchen knife in his hand. He pointed at me with the kitchen knife and shouted: "You have just been admitted to the civil service, and you will work in the tax bureau next month. If you let your If your leaders and colleagues find out that you are gay, your future will be ruined, you know that!"

"I know, I just want to tell you about this while I am happy."

"How did I give birth to such a shameless thing like you!" Dad swung his hand over, I thought he would slash me with a knife, but he just slapped my mouth with the side of the kitchen knife.

Mother screamed out in fright, "No, Lao Bai!"

The cold knife surface hurts more than a human hand. It has no temperature and is hard. I really hope he can hit me with his hands. After a sharp pain on the left side of my face, there is a burning pain. I slowly turned my head. Dad’s eyes seemed to be watching me. enemy.

"dad……"

"Separate! Separate immediately!"

"I can not do it."

My mother came over and grabbed my arm, "Small! Apologize to your father! Apologize quickly! Tell him you were just confused for a while!"

I ignored my mother's constant staring at my father. I don't know why, the angrier he was, the happier I felt, "I'm not confused, and I won't be separated from him."

"You...I'll fucking kill you, disgusting thing!" Dad threw away the kitchen knife in his hand, turned around and picked up the folding chair beside him and waved it at me.

My mother hid aside in fright, and I silently endured the pain and hatred my father brought me, hoping in my heart that they would accept us soon, but I was too naive at the time.

I was severely beaten by my father, followed by the confiscation of my mobile phone and confinement. They even unplugged the network cable at home, but how could these be able to stop me? I jumped out of the window when they were not at home. At that time I I'm so glad our house is on the second floor.

When I saw Yang Yi again, I almost cried. His face was more injured than mine, and he looked haggard. I gently stroked his face, "Yang Yi, let's get out of here."

Yang Yi grabbed my hand and looked at the scars on it and said, "Did your father beat you too?"

"........."

"I... Xiao Si can bear it no matter how hard it is, the parents can't accept it at first, and they won't be like this after a long time."

"But I'm...I'm...fucking sick."

Yang Yi took a deep breath, "Xiaosi, we can't leave them alone, they are always our parents."

"I know but... my dad looks at me like... like looking at shit, do you understand? He disgusts me, I can't stand it!" I always knew that Yang Yi attached great importance to his parents, and he couldn't lose I am very grateful that he didn't give up on me under such circumstances, but I still feel panicked.Sometimes I really wish Yang Yi would throw his parents away in a heartless way.

Yang Yi hugged me and patted my back and said, "You have to understand them and give them time to accept."

"How long is this time?"

I felt Yang Yi's body froze suddenly.

"I can't give you an exact answer, but we have to stick to it."

"Yang Yi, I'm fucking tired, really tired."

"I'll be with you, so I won't be tired." I slowly closed my eyes and buried my face in his arms, I really hope he can say we leave together.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when I came back to my senses, there was another person beside me, Yang Yi, who would come every day after my death.

"You came."

Yang Yi looked at the front and didn't respond to me. I smiled wryly. He shouldn't be able to hear me.

"Xiao Si, here I come again."

I looked at him, but he still looked at the front without any expression. This is a kind of tacit understanding, "It's so cold here, why don't you wear more clothes."

Yang Yi grabbed the collar and shivered for a while, and it was only with this shiver that I realized that he was human and I was not.

"It's really cold here, why did you choose such a place?"

"This is my home. If I don't die here, I will die somewhere."

"..." Yang Yi didn't answer me, he smiled bitterly facing the air.

Every time he laughs like this, I want to kick him out of here. I don't want to see him like this. I didn't choose death to make him laugh like this all day long.

I just watched him smile like this, he laughed more and more excitedly, and even cried tears at the end, I stood up to face him, and kissed his lips lightly.

"sorry."