tomb bed

15.

Xie Tian stayed in Beijing until his health improved, and we returned to Chengdu.

I don’t know when there was a swallow’s nest in the corner of the balcony at home, and the little swallows that had just hatched in it chirped every day.Xie Tian likes to watch it, I bought a rocking chair and put it there so that he can bask in the sun.

Lin Zheng and I basically turned off the school affairs, and took Xie Tian to travel around.I didn't dare to go too far. Fortunately, there are many interesting things around Chengdu, enough for us to play.

Xie Tian was getting thinner and thinner, sleeping for three or four days at a time from time to time, and his spirit was getting worse and worse. Finally, we had to send him to the hospital again.

Xie Tian said he hated being hospitalized and he didn't want to spend his time in the hospital.Lin Zheng agreed to take him to continue traveling if his health improved.

But this time it didn't get any better.

He sleeps more and more, and sometimes he is in a daze when he is awake, and he can hardly speak a few words. Even when he talks, he keeps talking without knowing what he is talking about.He forgot more and more things, and his eyes no longer had focus.He would see the doctor as me or Zheng Lin, and he would see Zheng Lin as me.

The hospital said it was toxoplasmic encephalopathy, and the nerves and senses would gradually decline.

But Xie Tian never missed me. Every time he saw me, he would smile lightly, sometimes call me by my name, Xie Qian, and sometimes call me brother.

There are some things I don’t want to think about, until Lin Zheng called me over to look at the photos from the trip, and those photos were spread out on the table, because most of the time he was holding the camera, and most of the photos were me and Xie Tian.

He pointed to Xie Tian in a photo for me to see, and said, "That kid... likes you."

In the photo, Xie Tian looked at me with light in his eyes and a gentle smile.

I held the photo and said nothing.

Zheng Lin picked up another one: "This one is too."

"And this one."

"This."

……

In the end, he sighed, put away the photo and handed it to me: "For you, he really likes you, right? Even now, he won't admit his mistake."

I went to see Xie Tian that night, but he didn't wake up, so I sat on the edge of the bed and watched him.My mind seemed to be messy and empty, I wanted Xie Tian to wake up at this moment, and then asked him if it was true, and was afraid again, but couldn't tell what he was afraid of.

I sat there all night, and Xie Tian woke up when it was slightly bright, and saw me just in time.His eyes are still a little loose, and he wakes up like this these days, and he can't see many things clearly.

But his eyes reflected me, and he still smiled and called my name: "Xie Qian."

All the words I wanted to say became pale, I could only rub his hair and cover him tightly with the quilt, saying: "Just wake up, and don't sleep for too long in the future, don't..."

At the end of the sentence, I was so hoarse that I couldn't make a sound. I ran out of the ward, and I didn't know how far I ran to where. I couldn't control it anymore and burst into tears.

There are some things that really should not be seen through and explained. I have been going around in the fog for many years, and at the end of the fog, I was surprised to find the answer I really wanted to say in the clarity.

So real firm and so purely sad.

Xie Tian was not used to sleeping when he first moved home, so I asked him to sleep with me on the lower bunk, and he asked me why I was so nice to him.I couldn't answer, so I said casually: "I like you to smile more."

I kept telling myself that I helped thank God because my conscience was not lost, or he had the kindness to save my life, or I should do good things to the end... In short, it was just for peace of mind, and I dared not sort out my thoughts Through, that was when I planted rice seedlings with Xie Tian on the mountain. The rice seedlings I planted were tilted and squashed by myself. Xie Tian came to help me, and couldn’t help laughing while planting.He raised his bowed head, the sweat reflected the sun, his eyes were smiling, and the blue sky behind him was like water and the mountains were fading away, which made my heart flutter.

I tried my best to be good to Xie Tian, ​​but dared not admit that feeling.Because I know I'm doomed to tragedy, I'd rather avoid the beginning.

But the buried feelings have long been buried, and my peace of mind is him. In fact, the last three words of that sentence should be hidden:

I like you.