tomb bed

14.

I take Xie Tian to the hospital for regular check-ups. Doctors in the infection department usually wear masks for no other reason. Most AIDS patients are afraid of seeing the doctor's face.Zheng Lin also started working on the infection department. I asked him if he would wear a mask, and he smiled wryly. Wearing a mask is a trivial matter. In case I am too poor to eat or depressed to the hospital, don’t tell me you don’t know me.

The medicine controlled Xie Tian's disease, but he became thinner and thinner.I watched Xie Tian take medicine on time and go to the hospital for treatment on time, and watched the light in his eyes gradually dissipate.

I told Xie Tian, ​​you treat well, and my brother will accompany you.

Thank goodness yes, and well done.That day I took him for a walk in the hospital garden, and he said, brother, I'm so tired.

I say let's take a break.

Xie Tian smiled lightly, and called my name, Xie Qian.Then don't say anything.

He slowly began to forget things, and sometimes even if someone told him what he said the night before, he couldn't remember it the next day.That day he said he wanted to go home, I took him downstairs, but he didn't know which floor his home was on.

Soon Xie Tian had a high fever and was sent to a hospital in Beijing.

The family's savings were basically exhausted, so Lin Zheng borrowed some money from his relatives and friends to put it first.I don't have any friends. As for relatives... I asked Xie Tian if he had someone he didn't know how to deal with but should always meet, would he go and meet him?

Thank goodness it will.

He said that those who should face should always face, and the time left for me is too short, so I don't want to regret it.

It was not difficult to meet that person. I found his unit and reported his name, and his secretary led me in.I have met that secretary before, and he is also from Sichuan.He should be in his 40s now, but he looks very energetic.In the elevator, he smiled at me and said, "You have grown so big, the longer you grow, the more handsome you are."

I smiled and said nothing.

He told me a lot of things, and at the end he said earnestly: "The child's temper should have passed by long ago, you should come and see him more now."

I pushed open the door of the office, and he was sitting on the swivel chair in the middle of the office, reading the documents. After seeing me walk in, he closed the documents and put them aside: "Here?"

"I didn't expect you to be here." I walked to the sofa and sat down.

Calculating that he is only fifty years old, his hair is more than half gray. I remember his high-spirited appearance in suits and leather shoes before moving back to Chengdu.

He is Xie Chenghang, my father.

The stack of documents on the table was neatly arranged. I looked at it and remembered that when I went to the study room in elementary school to ask him questions that he didn't know in his homework, there was such a thick stack of documents on the desk.Although he was busy with work at that time, at least he was still at home on weekends.

Then the scene changed, and he took his suitcase to the airport, seeing him only a few times a year.Mom said he went to work in Beijing and it was too far away to go home.I don't know how far it is from Beijing, so I just accompany my mother and look forward to the few times a year when he can go home.My mother's health is getting worse and worse, and I often hear her coughing in the middle of the night.There was a phone ringing in the sound of coughing. He said that the government was going to make a closed project and he couldn't get away. He asked his mother to pay more attention and wait for him for a few months.But on the day of the funeral, his project was still not finished. When he came back, he caught up with the seventh day and it was raining heavily.I saw him kneeling in front of the grave and crying, but he didn't step forward to hold an umbrella for him.

He took me to Beijing, an environment that I was unfamiliar with and even loathed.There are always some officials and businessmen in suits and slick mouths at home, and there are some arrogant sons and daughters of cadres and wealthy sons at school.

I fled back to Chengdu and returned to my original home, but nothing but sadness remained.I went to live in school, but at night when my roommate talked about my parents, I felt unbearable.In the end, I rented a cheap house and lived there until Zheng Lin showed up, and Xie Tian showed up.He gives me money every year, but he doesn't come to see me, and I don't want to see him.I feel like I have my own life and he has to continue his work.

But just now the secretary told me that he would go back to Chengdu every year.

I asked him, "...how are you?"

He has hypoglycemia and used to tease me as a child with the candy he carried with him.

"It's an old problem, but it's okay." After a moment of silence, he said, "How long will you stay in Beijing this time?"

"I don't know, let's go when it's over."

"Well... If you have nothing to do these days, let's take a look."

He got up, his back a little hunched.

We seem to have not spoken for a long time, but we are still familiar with nature when we speak.That is the association flowing in the blood, the initial warmth of memory.I sat there watching him, but in fact those things I thought were just my own thoughts, I trapped myself in the dark.It's like my dad calls me every year, but I don't want to answer it.Maybe he once stood in the crowd looking at me, but I chose to pass by.

I know that I have let go a long time ago, but I still can't overcome the hurdle in my heart, and I can't be angry with him for letting a family that should be happy come to this point.Xie Tian's words are still in my ears, time really cannot tolerate regrets.

I looked at him for a long time, nodded and said, "Okay."

When my mother died, people asked me if I hated my dad, and I said no.

He is my dad.When I was young, I would run all over the street with my back on my back. When I was sick, I would sit by my bedside until dawn. After work, I would check my homework. When I was sleepy, I would come and cover me with the quilt.

How could I hate him.

Now I am grown up and he is old.Those things have faded away, and he walks around the desk between us and walks towards me, just as time has moved forward more than ten years.