can't name

The sky seems to be raining all the time.

Sunny day is because the sun came out,

And now the sun is gone.

The sky seems to be raining all the time.

It was a barren and cold winter,

And at this moment in the rainy season.

The sky seems to be raining all the time.

I used to walk with my head buried and failed to pay attention,

But now the rain is beating the heart.

The gentle boy who only met once left as a matter of course, and went to a foreign country to start his study, leaving the lonely boy to mourn alone in the rain.The boy who was already slightly insomnia became more and more insomnia.

After the banquet, Su Chen began to collect all the news about Chen Jingrong. Like those fans who chase after stars, the lock screen of the mobile phone desktop was replaced with the photo of that gentle boy, and the password also used that person's birthday.Sleeping looking at a picture of that person seems to be the only thing that can alleviate insomnia.

And I love to linger near Chen Jingrong's house when I'm okay or sad, or next to the big hotel where they met for the first time.Because Chen Jingrong's home is in a high-end community, the security guards are very strict, and strangers are not allowed to enter casually. Most of the time, the young man can only look at the community from the street.

If it was a sunny day, he would find a seat to sit at random, recalling that gentle young man, recalling the information he had collected, guessing about him over and over again, just in this way he could get comfort in his heart.When he was confused, the sad boy would ask that person from the bottom of his heart, imagining how he would answer if it was Chen Jingrong, and then it was as if he had got the answer.The gloomy boy began to change a little bit. He began to have a wish that he could be more "like" that person, and that he could be close to that person.He still likes to cover his face with his hair, but he has made his clothes more decent. He still doesn't believe that studying hard can change anything, but he is willing to study hard in order to know more about that gentle boy.He just wanted to use this method to make himself feel that the gentle boy was still by his side, and that there was a connection between them.

If it happens to be a rainy day, the feelings in my heart will start to churn uncontrollably, and a lot of precipitated things will come out.Lonely teenagers often wear black clothes and hold a dark umbrella and are drenched in the rain near Chen Jingrong's house or the hotel where they first met.Occasionally, the boy would put away his umbrella regardless of other people's eyes, and let the rain run across his cheeks more directly, using the rain to hide his crying.From time to time, the young man wondered: Could the sky also feel my pain? To a certain extent, the heavy rain was crying with him.Rain makes people sad, and it makes people easy to catch a cold and get sick, but Su Chen should be grateful for the rain. The rain accompanied him in that lonely youth, so that he could cry happily and feel a lot more relaxed. .

The feeling of unrequited love is so painful, but the lonely teenager may be willing to do it, because what else can he have that can bring him spiritual comfort.The young man was suffering from the loss of his lonely love, and he shut himself in the room countless times and said to himself: "I really want to see you. I really want to see you. I really want to see you."

"It would be great if I could be someone standing by your side."

"If I can become a person like you, will my life change? Will I be able to be loved and become as happy as others? You must live in a very warm place, so The warmth is about to overflow from you, and even I can be infected... I feel so happy to meet you."

"I want to try it. Your words will definitely encourage me. Just once, I seem to be able to be truly loved by my own efforts. But why am I gay? If you know that I like you, you will What do you think? It’s done, I’ll take the fruits of my hard work to ask you this question when I have a chance in the future!”

"But I still seem to see you now. I'm so afraid to forget you. Don't leave me alone, don't leave my world! I don't want to go back to the original place! Why am I gay? , there is no way to tell others about your feelings!"

The voice of the lonely and sad young boy always echoes in the room alone, and finally disappears into the darkness without anyone knowing.So the young man can only remember these words carefully, so that it seems that someone has heard these words and knows these things.

Su Chen changed his mind and wanted to study hard, but the rebellious bad boy turned his back on his lost son and learned his way back!Of course the Su family is happy, after all, they are their own children.The young man is very lucky. The current Su family’s conditions are considered good and they are not short of money. They enrolled the young man in a good cram school and hired a good tutor. With various external forces and the young man’s own efforts, he finally passed the senior high school entrance examination. He got a passable score, and with his family's money stuck, he went to a decent high school.

On the day he was admitted to high school, the boy tremblingly sent an unsigned letter addressed to Chen Jingrong to Chen Jingrong's home.Of course the young man knew that that person was not here now, and he knew that this letter might not even reach the Chen family, but he really seemed to be doing this. He had a lot of things in his heart that he wanted to say to that person. A letter like this had been written long ago. I have done many, many, but it should be no problem to vote for such a share.

In the letter, he wrote: "Maybe you don't remember me who only saw me once, although I always hope you can remember like me. Thank you for listening to me and comforting me when I was most sad, I'll never forget this help. Now I'm going to high school. Many people don't understand. I really didn't want to stay in school. Even now, the place in school still makes me feel suffocated A lot of depression. Many times when I was in class, I fantasized that it would be great if I could become a bird and fly out of the open window. I would rather eat bugs on the ground like a bird. Every day of exhaustion seems to be looking for the meaning of life in vain. I also don’t want to waste time in the classroom with fear and anxiety. I think school is really just a place to study for exams. It’s full of terrible fear and indifference that turn a blind eye to important things. Stay in school all the time I was a little scared to stay here until the end of college. However, in fact, this kind of indifference is everywhere, and my home is also. I really want to be able to leave here and be free to find other places that are not like this. But I still choose to stay Studying in school. I don’t know if this choice is right or wrong. I just think you seem to be happy in school, which makes me envious. You must be the kind of person who lives in the beautiful side of school. From you, I For the first time, I understand that school can also be a very beautiful place. So I am willing to continue to stay in school, even if it is a painful or even scary thing for me to stay in school. Because I have an expectation, if One day I can overcome this pain and live in the good side of school. I want to be someone like you. At my age, if I work hard, will I have a chance to become your junior in a British university? But by the time I can go to college, you will already be graduating. It's kind of sad to think about it."

The lonely boy wrote so many letters, and only a few of them were posted in the mailbox. All the letters that were put in the mailbox were all checked and revised repeatedly by the boy, and a lot of paper wasted. Written at the highest literary level.The young man was a little afraid to send the letter, he was expecting the letter to be delivered and hoped that the letter would not be delivered, and he was also a little worried that his letter would be poorly written and annoying.

Time passed quickly, and Chen Jingrong had been away for more than a year. The lonely boy found sadly that even during the winter and summer vacations of the British university, the person he had been thinking about did not come back.The young man inquired many ways and finally found out that the person had been studying in England since middle school and had lived with his grandmother in England since he was a child. If he didn’t come back, he would probably still be with his grandmother in England. The explosive news that he learned was that the person made a colleague The school's Chinese girlfriend!When he heard the news, the boy suddenly remembered the feeling he had when he found out the details of his parents when he was 13 years old.

It's heartbreaking to die. It's not like the boy didn't guess that such a thing would happen, but after he really found out, it hurt even more than he expected. That person likes that kind of beautiful and cute girl, he What should I do, how can I become what that person likes? !He began to stare at himself in front of the mirror for a long time, thinking a little abnormally how to make himself cute.He is only sixteen now, and he has a kind of cuteness that can kill both men and women with his immature androgynousness. The young man thought sadly that if he could keep this kind of cuteness, he would be more attractive to that person!He started to go on a diet and persisted even more than girls who love to lose weight. His stomach was empty for a long time, and later he had occasional stomach pains.It's not that I don't know that there are some things that can't be helped, such as wanting to stop development, such as changing a person's sexual orientation, dieting is one of the helpless means for teenagers to vent their anger.From this incident, the young man began to pay more attention to his appearance and learned how to take care of himself, thinking that if he worked hard from now on, he might be able to look beautiful and make that person like him.There are other aspects, the cultivation of temperament and taste, he has to learn everything that can make that person like it!

In the high school years of loneliness and unrequited love, Su Chen adopted a kitten.He met it on a rainy day, and this time the teenager felt that the sad rain was probably for the abandoned cat.The cat has beautiful fur and big blue eyes. It seems to be a rare breed of cat, but the right eye is blind, and a wound on the face looks extremely ferocious, making the cat's face not half as cute as a cat should be. , looked half dead and was abandoned on the side of the road.The lonely boy didn't know why he was very moved to see it struggling to survive. The boy didn't care about the scars and defects on its face like ordinary people, but felt that he was very close to it and liked it very much.He secretly brought it back to his home.Because his aunt did not allow him to keep a cat, the boy could only take care of the cat clumsily and secretly, and then he deeply understood how troublesome and patient it is to raise an animal by himself.Even under such circumstances, the seemingly dying kitten actually survived.The kitten has always been very well-behaved and sensible, so he named it Fluffy.It's a pity that after three months of secretly raising the kitten, my aunt still found it. In desperation, I had to send the kitten to the nearest stray cat adoption center.

In fact, the kitten did not live very well in the adoption house, but there was no way, the cat had not found any better place to go.The lonely boy usually comes to the adoption center to see the same lonely kitten when he is free. Almost all the kitten’s living utensils, food, etc. are bought by the boy with his own pocket money.This cat is a companion and listener who accompanies him and can speak freely. Although they cannot fully understand each other across the racial gap, the moment they touch each other can bring some warmth.

The boy always holds the kitten and tells the story of the person he longs for.The kitten doesn't know if it can understand human words, but it can feel the loss, sadness and struggle in the boy's heart. It is always cute in all kinds of ways, and its soft body rubs against the boy's body. It sticks out its small tongue to lick the boy to express comfort.

It's true that this gloomy boy likes to stay with animals and plants, even if he can never answer his words, it doesn't matter, and he doesn't care if others think he is lonely because of this.Just because these things often feel more reliable and stable than human beings, and more reassuring.Although being with people often makes the boy feel tired, he still likes to yearn for those warm people.

Su Chen has always been like this even after he became an adult. Outside of those conventional rules and regulations, he has his own set of ideas in his heart. For example, if his cat and ordinary human friends fell into the water, he will definitely save the cat. He thinks This is the right choice, just because it is more important for him to be with his cat all the time, so he feels that this is the right choice, and he has done the right thing. This is his innocence and purity. brutal terror.