[Comprehensive British and American] Clark always wanted to quit the part-time job of "Superman

metropolis.

Clark found that Bruce had launched a fierce offensive against him recently.

In addition to the daily flower delivery and phone invitations, various encounters have even started.

On the way to work, when discussing cooperation, when strolling in the park, when dining in restaurants, when attending art exhibitions... Clark can always meet Bruce Wayne who "just happens" to come here too.

This is war!

Clark clenched his fists and felt that it was time to come up with his "rough guy plan"!

……

Plan [-], the unkempt and unshaven appearance of "nerds".

When Clark appeared in front of Bruce wearing a woolen coat that had not been washed for three days and was buttoned incorrectly, with a face that had not been shaved for three days, Bruce was stunned.

won!Clark grinned.

However, before Clark was proud, Bruce walked up to him with a doting smile on his face. He intimately helped Clark, who was stiff all over, fasten the misplaced buttons, tidied his clothes, and said in an ambiguous voice: " Are you acting like a baby to me? Do you want me to take care of you so much?"

Clark shuddered, got goosebumps all over his body, and his ears were hot and itchy.

Clark's inner OS: Wow!He lost, so can he say this to such a person?incredible!And Bruce is worthy of Bruce, the Prince of Gotham, who is so sultry!

Be firm!hold on!Must not be teased!He has other plans!

……

Plan two, the body odor of "smelly man".

Clark turned into a superman and moved for a long time among the meteorites in the universe. However, after cleaning up the meteorites, he still didn't shed a drop of sweat! ORZ!

Shit!Why do I have no smell of sweat after exercising for so long? Hey!Ah, as a weak and pitiful Kryptonian, why is it so difficult to have the same metabolism as a human?

Sweat smell is not good, what about foot odor?Clark sniffed his feet - moose!It doesn't smell bad at all, and it has a nice scent of shower gel.

Do you want to dig through the trash can?Although not a clean freak, Clark couldn't accept it physically and gave up.

In the end, Clark decided to use science to win!

He synthesized a unique Han-smelling perfume overnight, and sprayed it on himself when he met Bruce, and then he warmly embraced Bruce who "met" with him, and then rubbed furiously, trying to rub the "stinky" onto himself on Bruce.

The smell of sweat on his face made the corners of Bruce's mouth twitch.But when he was homeless and as Batman, he had been to the sewers, so why couldn't he bear the smell of sweat?

"Do you exercise in the morning? It's a good habit. Have you had breakfast? Together?" Bruce calmly let "Smelly Ke" hold him, and even after he got used to the smell of sweat, he smelled other smells: "Ah, Your shower gel smells very good, I like it."

"..." Clark immediately let go of Bruce.

MD, failed again!Batman really is a strong enemy!

……

The third step is the rudeness of the "reckless man".

Clark met Bruce in the restaurant, and Bruce shared a table with Clark very naturally and gracefully.

Clark pretended to be unrestrained, smacking his mouth when eating, making food residue all over the table, and walking rampantly when he left...

However, Bruce always responds dotingly one by one: "Why are you so careless, I'll wipe your mouth for you! / I'll clean it up for you! / I'll lead you away..."

Clark refused one by one, and after seeing Bruce's "doting" eyes again and again, he felt bad all over!

Ah, he shouldn't have used contact lenses to adjust Clark to his original oriental appearance, so that the face was too "soft" and looked very bully!

He shouldn't always be using too much blue kryptonite to make himself "weak" and make himself look like a weak nerd!

These add up to a "weak" who can't take care of himself and needs to be protected and pampered!

He refuses to accept it!First of all he is not gay!Secondly, he is not subject to!Hehe, let's see the truth in bed!

... No, wait a minute!No bed!Be sober and don't let yourself be led astray by the gay bat, he doesn't think about anything "in bed" at all!

The third plan also failed, and sure enough Batman is a formidable enemy!

In order to deal with the explosive Brucey Batman, it seems that he is going to use the ultimate plan!

……

Step Four, The Ultimate Plan: Strong Muscles for "Tough Guys"!

In the park, Clark and Bruce meet by the lake.

"Ah, I really want to go swimming in the lake!" Clark said seemingly casually.

"The lake in the park is not safe or hygienic. If you like, we can go to sea together." Bruce took the opportunity to invite.

Clark was used to automatically filtering various invitations, took off his coat quietly, and then unbuttoned his shirt little by little, revealing his perfectly shaped, tight and smooth chest and abs.

Bruce's eyes couldn't help but stare up.

Clark walked towards Bruce who was leaning against a big tree, stretched out his arm very toughly, and gave Bruce a "tree" dong.

have a look!Look at the muscles of this man!What a man!How manly!I don't need protection at all, and I don't need other people's "pampering"!

"Are... are you tempting me?" Bruce's voice became hoarse, and his eyes darkened.

Clark was startled, and looked at Bruce in disbelief. Seeing the other person's expression of "dissatisfied with desire", he immediately felt his scalp numb, got up quickly, re-buttoned his shirt, and put on his coat very timidly.

The two were silent, and the atmosphere was extremely awkward for a while.

"Thinking about it carefully, swimming in the lake in the park is not suitable, so I'll go back." Clark laughed.

Bruce reined in his emotions, smiled slightly, and continued his great business of flirting: "I didn't expect you to be the type to look thin when you take off your clothes. Your figure is really good! I'm very satisfied!"

Clark: "..."

Ahhh, I lost again!It's all over!

Damn Bruce!You can do it, you are amazing, you are awesome!But why can't you think about it?

Suddenly, Bruce frowned suspiciously: "I always feel that your figure is a bit like... Superman?"

Clark was shocked, this is a vest crisis!

He calmly adjusted his posture and posture to be more casual and weak, with an appearance of "muscular" vain, and at the same time he said proudly: "Of course, Superman is my idol, and I like Superman the most! I am The muscles that have been exercised according to his figure!"

"Favorite Superman?" Bruce was successfully attracted.

"Yeah, I like Superman so much!" In order to enhance his convincing force, Clark acted like a flower planter's fanatical girlfriend fan.

Bruce narrowed his eyes and clenched his back teeth. He suddenly became upset when he thought of the scandal between Clark and Superman.

Seeing that Bruce no longer struggled with his figure, Clark breathed a sigh of relief: yes, it's safe!

******

Wayne Manor.

Ah Fu greeted Bruce, who seemed to be in a good mood, and asked with a smile: "It seems that your recent pursuit is going well?"

"Of course, I'm a master strategist. No one can beat me on the battlefield! Clark made several moves, but I caught them and gave me a strong counterattack. After that, it's my turn to make moves. One day, I will find his weakness, seize the opportunity, and kill him with one blow!" Bruce said confidently.

"..." Ah Fu.

well!It was just a love affair, and his master turned his life into a war.

Ah Fu suddenly remembered something, and said: "By the way, Master Bruce, don't bother with being in love anymore, you still need to deal with Dick's problem."

"Dick? What's wrong with him? Three girlfriends at the same time? Going to school to see the teacher?"

"...No. Actually, well, Dick accidentally discovered the Batcave."

"..."

"Maybe you can train a little assistant?" Ah Fu suggested.

"Absolutely impossible!" Bruce roared with a dark face.

******

new York.

Clark, no, Superman flew to the Avengers Tower.

He's coming for reinforcements!

In his opinion, Tony and Bruce are both billionaires and playboys, so they should understand each other's thinking and mentality very well, and be able to give him some suggestions for counterattack.

Although in another timeline another Tony tells Clark that Tony likes him.However, for one thing, he still couldn't believe it, so he was in a half-belief stage, and for another, because the other Tony didn't say that specifically, Clark mistakenly thought that Tony liked "Clark" instead of "Superman"!

Ever since, he turned into a superman who thought he was "safe", and flew to find Tony.

……

Jarvis: "Hello, Mr. Superman."

Superman: "Hello, Jarvis."

Jarvis: "How is Mr. Joe? He hasn't contacted me recently."

Superman: "It's okay, he's been busy with the system self-inspection recently, and it will be over in two days."

At this time, Tony came out and greeted Superman warmly: "Superman, welcome! Why are you free today?"

Superman Clark was silent.He couldn't say that because someone was too aggressive and he couldn't defend well, he couldn't find a way to straighten the opponent, so he had to let Clark "retreat" to study, and he turned into a superman to find Tony to solve problems and talk about his troubles?

"I'm here to ask you to drink! Why, you're not welcome?" Superman showed his trademark bright smile, but this time it was a little forced.

"Of course you are welcome!" Tony replied quickly.

After Superman drank several bottles of wine, Tony finally noticed the abnormality of Superman.

So Tony cracked a joke: "Whoa, the Metropolitans should come to me for turning their Superman into an alcoholic."

"I can't get drunk." Superman laughed.

"But you're obviously drinking to drown your sorrows!" Tony raised his eyebrows.

"..." Superman seen through.

"So what troubles do you have? We are friends, you can tell me!"

Superman organized his words, and said: "I have a friend who is pursued by a friend of the same sex. He wants to reject the other party, but he doesn't want to hurt the other party's heart. He wants to continue to be friends with the other party in the future. What should you do?"

Superman looked at Tony expectantly, Playboy, Regal, and Superhero must have a way to deal with bats with the same attributes, right?

Tony looked at Superman, let out a long "oh", and said meaningfully: "This friend of yours, could it be..."

The familiar words made Superman's heart tighten.

"...Clark?"

Superman breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately said, "Yes, it's him!"

"..." Tony was confused by Superman's quick "betrayal" of his friend.

"You and Bruce have a lot in common, and you should have similar ideas. Do you think there is any way to make him give up completely?"

"Hey! I'm nothing like that vase!" Tony protested.

"Okay." Superman agreed, and immediately asked, "What is your solution?"

Tony rolled his eyes and thought about it seriously: "Bruce seems to be the kind of person who is more arrogant (like him) and wants him to give up unless Clark has a girlfriend or boyfriend who is already in a relationship."

Superman frowned, very troubled, where did he get his "girlfriend" out of nothing?

Seeing that Superman was so troubled by Clark, Tony couldn't help being a little unhappy. He seemed to be thinking of something, and he couldn't help asking nervously: "You and Clark are not in a relationship, are you?"

"Of course not!" Superman clarified immediately, because he had already formed a subconscious habit because he was asked too many questions.

But after answering, he suddenly had a flash of inspiration and had an idea!

Seeing that Superman answered in the affirmative, but suddenly fell silent, Tony couldn't help but feel a little uneasy.

Perhaps, I should also take the first step bravely like Bruce pursued Clark...

Well, he really shouldn't wait any longer, find a suitable time today, and make sure to confess!

"Ah, by the way, I have something to discuss with you." Tony said suddenly, before he confessed, he decided to talk about the business first.

"What's the matter?" Superman came back to his senses.

Tony got up to get the notebook, and said nostalgicly: "I am very grateful to Clark, he let me see my mother again."

Superman smiled brightly: "Really? Clark would be very happy to know. But why are you talking about this all of a sudden?"

"Clark's AI design is different from Jarvis's program direction. It is more inclined to copy and simulate rather than independent thinking. It is very inspiring to study intelligent AI programs in different directions."

As Tony spoke, he called up a huge database, and the name of the data was Ultron!

"This is a plan to protect the earth with intelligent robots, the Ultron Project! What do you think?" Tony said a little excitedly.

"..." Superman.Ah, it's Ultron who wants to wipe out all mankind!

"Actually, this is just my accidental thought. I originally thought that the earth has superheroes and superhuman protection. I don't need to be so anxious at all, so I put this plan aside for the time being, and then gradually forgot about it. But Clark's gift reminded me of this plan." Tony said with a smile.

"..." Superman Clark.So it's his fault?

"Although it is not necessary, but with an army of intelligent robots, superheroes will be more relaxed, right?" Tony opened Ultron's program and praised: "Look, how beautiful Ultron's intelligent program is! Superman, what do you think? ?”

"..." Superman feels bad, but he can't say that, it's time to use his "mouth escape" skills!

"I think intelligent robots should be treated with more caution. Robots are not as complex and smooth as humans, and they will not be flexible. For a goal, they often do everything they can, which also means that they will do whatever they can to achieve the goal.

I have encountered a race site in the universe, they once created a large number of intelligent robot police to replace human beings.But after they entered the core command of "stop the killing" into the robot police, it caused serious consequences.

The group of robot police interpreted the order to stop the killing with robot logic, and strictly carried out the order.

But the result of their interpretation is that there is killing in the entire biological chain!So they killed all living things on that planet, and finally destroyed themselves.

And that planet eventually became a Death Star. "

After hearing this, Tony showed a surprised and sad expression.

Superman looked at Tony and asked seriously: "So, what core instructions are you going to give Ultron?"

Tony hesitated for a moment, and said hesitantly, "World peace?"

Superman said seriously: "For world peace, will Ultron think that human beings are the chief culprit for wars? If it wants "world peace", will it think that only by killing all human beings can the world achieve real peace?"

Hearing this, Tony felt a chill all over his body, and he was shocked, and then he decisively deleted the "Ultron" project and emptied the computer's recycle bin.

"Sure enough, our superheroes should suffer a little more, let's protect the peace of the world!" Tony sighed.

Superman smiled, completely relieved.