nowhere to be found

I did get a reply.

His reply letter was written in the clear and meaningful handwriting as before, with simple greetings.

I seem to have returned to the days when the two of us went to and from school together.

They are more than 7000 meters apart.

Holding the letter, I seemed to have reached the origin again.

Almost five years later, I suddenly had a feeling.

I want to go back.Go back and meet that guy.

As if I wanted to confirm something, I finally returned to that city and appeared at the class reunion nervously.

But as soon as I entered, the faces I was familiar with but didn't want to see all crowded in front of me.

At this time, I really want to slap them all away with a slap.

bother! !

Well, I can't blame them, mainly because the real purpose of my coming is not to show off.

I'm just here to find someone.

I just came to see if the person is doing well.

I got my wish to meet the guy and even walked slowly home with him.

It's just that my home is no longer there.

I was quite surprised that he actually became a teacher. After all, he was too gentle and introverted, and I felt that he was really not suitable for standing on the podium and giving lectures with joy.

It's funny to think about it.

Thinking of this, I began to relax in my heart.

I turned my head to look, and the guy was still standing beside me, advancing with my speed.

In my opinion, he is just a bad guy, that's why he treats me and other people so well.

We are about to part.

I told him I was out and had a boyfriend.

I expected to see something, but I didn't see anything.

The guy just responded flatly.

And I kept smiling and left.

What am I coming back for?

I thought I had hope, but it turned out to be just my own wish.

However, since I'm back, I don't want to leave. This is my hometown, where I once took root.

Also got closer to him.

So be it.

What are you expecting, idiot.

I don't know how to spend four years in the city with him again.

But what I didn't expect was that my success came and went so quickly.

Four years later, I learned that the company I invested in went bankrupt.

My property was taken as collateral for arrears, and so was the house.

Really didn't expect this to happen, but my bad luck was just the beginning.

I lived a good life for more than 20 years, but somehow a heart attack suddenly broke out.

The first time it happened, it nearly killed me.

As I lay in the hospital bed, I wondered if the doctor was joking with me.

I've been doing some cardio and nothing happened.

It used to be in high school too, I could play a day of basketball without a problem.

But now the occasional heart palpitations and physical weakness tell me that I am semi-disabled.

I wondered if my mother who was in poor health gave me this disease.

Obviously, I have no money or health, and my contract boyfriend can't sit still.

I was in the hospital, and he just came back to see me every afternoon, and talked with the doctor about my illness and tried to cure it.

It's good enough that he can be so responsible and plan not to leave me at this time.

But I don't want to say anything to him, so that's it...

Then I knew that he seemed to be going abroad to find his life in another country.

I don't have any ideas, just quietly decadent, accepting the fate to play tricks on me.

I'm tired and don't want to live like this anymore.

Maybe this is my chance to escape the world that tortures me, and the one person I can't quit.

But this person appeared in front of me again.

At that time, I was hospitalized for half a month, and he suddenly came to see me with flowers.

When he first opened the door and came in, I thought he was a phantom in my dream.

Until he looked at my bottle and my hand full of needle holes with a worried and distressed face, and spoke to me.

I rarely laughed.

My boyfriend was also quietly watching us talking.

The time he came was so short and short, I felt as if the time passed in a flash.

Seeing that person leave the ward with my boyfriend, I turned my head and quietly looked at the flowers in the vase beside me.

Five flame lilies, accompanied by star flowers.

The joy just now turned into exhaustion in an instant.

Why do you want to give me hope again, let me think...

My boyfriend came early the next day, but he said goodbye to me instead.

"I'm leaving. I've arranged everything. You can treat your illness at ease."

As he said this, his expression was calm, as if he was talking to a stranger.

I responded casually, and then said thank you.

He was already at the door, but stopped when I thanked him.

"You idiot... both are idiots"

He left this sentence that I didn't understand, and just left.

Now, I should be the only one left.

family?No.

friend?Ah.

When I just fell down, there would still be people who came to see me. They were all polite, ordinary, just caring for this one time.

You're right, I'm actually not that popular.

And I don't really want to be popular.

After quietly spending the morning in the ward, I was surprised to see that person come to bring me lunch.

Shocked, dazed, unbelievable.

It never even occurred to me that he would come back to see me again.

However, I didn't think of more than that.

Every day after that, he will come here, come to me.

Sometimes he comes to deliver meals, and sometimes he just comes to rub the air conditioner.

I could only helplessly follow him.

It's like going back to high school. I followed him and sat quietly in the old coffee shop when the autumn rainy season came.

With him by his side, the one-year recovery period before the operation seemed to have passed like half a month.

It was quiet, but it passed happily.

I don't have much interest in listening to the surgery matters, I just heard the doctor's concept of survival rate.

So is it possible that I can't handle it?

The operation was actually on my birthday, what a hospital that would be funny.

However, that person was preparing my discharge from the hospital, and seemed to be helping me contact my residence.

I quietly watched him fold his clothes neatly and neatly.

If I never see this man's face again...

"I don't know if this operation will be successful or not."

I reminded him so, don't accompany me in such an optimistic way.

Because the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.

He smiled slyly for the first time.

"Don't give up. If your surgery is successful, I will tell you something very important. It's my 28th birthday."

I nodded as a promise.

However, this liar...

He hasn't told me what the important thing is, so he is so irresponsible and left.

In order to save his own students, this guy was run over by a car, and when the ambulance arrived, he was dead.

At that time, I was still in the ward, waiting for the breakfast he would bring every day.

This news was told to me by the nurse in charge of me. She was going to attend the honor funeral that the mayor hurriedly held for that person, and she hesitated for a long time before telling me.

I sat on the bed in silence for a long time.

I don't even know how I changed my clothes, went downstairs, walked out the door, and followed the people who went to the same place as me to the funeral home.

I saw that person's parents, sister.

They are the faces of grief.

Others present were either serious or didn't care.

But none of them are like me.

It was as if the heart had been hollowed out, and the soul had been ripped out.

I couldn't cry, I couldn't laugh, I couldn't say anything.Am I still alive? .

His body should have been cremated.

And the coffin in front was just arranged for people to take pictures and display flowers for the ceremony.

But what I can imagine is the tragedy of that person.

I never wanted to scold someone so harshly.

This bad guy, why is he so nice to everyone! ?I don't even want my life!

Why········

Don't think about me.

Every minute and every second is suffering.

Not far from me sat a beautiful tall woman who kept staring at me.

She called me before the funeral, she called me by my first name.

But I don't know her.

She handed me a flower, the most flame lily ever seen.

"Here I am, it should be you. You have answered all the names." She said so, but I didn't understand.

"No, that silly boy who is being cremated now comes to me to buy you flowers every time."

I accepted it silently.

I hold the flower tightly and smell the fragrance of the flower.

It was as peaceful as if he was still by my side.

I feel that as long as I turn around, I can see him standing behind me, smiling calmly, watching me.

Soon, it will be time for me to present flowers.

Among the white chrysanthemums, the orange in my hand is particularly eye-catching.

But I don't care.

Step by step, he walked to the coffin where his enlarged portrait was placed.

I took the flame lily and slowly put the orange red into the sad white.

The cries of his relatives and whispers in an incomprehensible dialect became more and more blurred in my ears.

But that kind of premonition that you can see him when you look back is getting stronger and stronger.

It's like playing a basketball game in high school. I was exposed to the sun and sweated.

After scoring the goal, I turned around and saw the happy and encouraging eyes of that person.

It was that strong desire again.

I want to meet him, I want to find him.

I turned around.

I really saw the vague and inexplicably clear back of that person.

The back view of him turning and leaving the court is exactly the same as the thousands of times he saw tens of thousands of times.

But this time, I don't want to stand still.

I ran behind him in a trance. This distance was like a 5000-meter long-distance race to me.

Don't go, don't look at me anymore.

I do not want to leave you.

Don't hide behind me.

I am afraid that I will never find you next time...

The heart is like a knife, and the body is getting heavier and heavier.

When I caught his hand, I saw him turn his head and saw the familiar look of surprise on his face.

Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief, and even my body became light and comfortable.

Like a spiritual connection, I hugged him for the first time.

It turned out that he was just like me.

Both are so attached to the peace between the two.

My name is Xun.

I like being alone.

He likes me too.

Did I end up with him?

only i know...

I can only tell you that I found him.

And won't lose him again.