paper idol

"How is Rongrong's illness?"

After going downstairs on the other side, Qu Lebai walked with his parents on the path of the hospital, for a while, but only choked out this sentence.

Ill, sick, sick... If I didn't have this sickness, my parents might not want to see me at all.Rou Jiang urged herself to confess, but as the song says, people's hearts are layered, and the more you peel, the easier it is to cry.With Qu Lebai's current mood and ability to bear it, he can only say so much.

My father lit a cigarette and didn't say anything. My mother sighed and said, "The condition is very urgent. If the operation is performed one day earlier, the chances will be better. But..."

Mother was originally sad with her head down, but when she said this, she raised her head imperceptibly, her eyes glanced at Qu Lebai, then quickly moved away, and plunged into the soil again.Qu Lebai noticed this micro-expression sensitively, and at the same time became more sure of her previous judgment.

What I want to say... I can't say it again.

The father was much more straightforward than the mother, and he said, "Rongrong needs money for surgery, a lot of money. Didn't you talk about film and television copyright a few days ago? How much can you get?"

Qu Lebai stared blankly at his father, with mixed feelings in his heart.My father has always spoken harshly and self-consciously, saying what he thinks, and never caring what others think.Even after so many years, when I hear it suddenly, my heart still hurts, as if someone dropped a small handful of thumbtacks and stepped on it again.

Mother punched father and said, "What are you talking about!"

Instead, the father scolded angrily: "We are here to borrow money, what can we say if we don't talk about this?! Human life is a matter of fate, what can we not say?"

The mother obediently gave Qu Lebai a careful look, and found that her daughter was smiling but not smiling, and her face was full of sullen anger.

"I have no money, no matter what you say, I have no money to borrow." Qu Lebai said, "If you call me just for this matter, then you don't have to act. I have no money, I didn't lie, Believe it or not, it's up to you."

Qu Lebai didn't know that his eyes were cold and desperate at the moment, as if he was about to breathe fire, or frozen.She didn't know how things had come to this point. She had originally come to reconcile with her parents, but now it seemed that her parents didn't have the will.They're just here to borrow money.

The father was used to being at home, and was suddenly "contradicted" by Qu Lebai. He was so angry that he took a small step forward and was stopped by his mother.

The concern in her mother's eyes was not fake. She looked at Qu Lebai and said, "Lele, have you encountered any trouble recently? I can't help you with writing, but if it's about life, just open your mouth. It's a family..."

Qu Lebai didn't respond, and her mother said, "As for Rongrong's illness...Rongrong is a good boy, and we all hope that he can grow up healthy and healthy. Although life, old age, sickness and death are God's will, but everyone wants to fight... But If you're really powerless, then...that's something you can't help..." At this point, the mother's eyes glistened with tears, perhaps because she thought of some not-so-good possibility.

Having just been pierced by his father with ten thousand arrows, even Qu Lebai has doubts about his mother's true feelings.She closed her eyes, exhaled lightly, and said: "The film and television copyright talks have collapsed, and I can't sell them; I can't get any money if I sell them. I will never write novels again. The money I got before It has already been sent back, and there should be no more money in the future. If you come to me just because of this matter, I really have no money. I am very sorry about Rongrong, and I will find a way to get a loan or borrow money— —Oh, it’s not a loan, you don’t have to pay it back, but there is only one request. Don’t pretend, you hate me, hate me, beat me and scold me, you can do whatever you want, just don’t pretend.”

Don't pretend to be far away from reunion, mother is kind and son is filial, if the family relationship is just a lie, then let yourself expose it yourself.I have been deceiving myself for so long, and I should give up.

Unexpectedly, my mother's next sentence was: "Don't you write novels anymore?"

Qu Lebai looked at her mother in surprise.

Hearing this, his father looked at Qu Lebai with a very disappointed look, and said, "I won't write it anymore?! You obviously wrote something interesting, why didn't you write it?!"

"Is it because of us? Did you say that on purpose because we asked you to borrow money? Or did you really stop writing?" Mother said with a dazed and sad expression, "But...but you are not the favorite Have you written a novel? Didn’t you say before that you want to write novels for the rest of your life?”

The mother's tone was tired and sad, and it hit Qu Lebai's heart hard at that moment.She thought of the rhetoric in the past and felt ironic, but a little hesitation arose in her heart, and she asked herself: Could it be that my parents really don't have any flesh and blood affection for me?They lost their son, and they might soon lose their grandson... Even in this situation, they can still care about their own novels and pressure even in this situation.

Due to the problem of values, until I ran away from home, my parents didn't understand what I was writing or thinking.But today, that extreme and stubborn father actually said the evaluation of "the writing is quite interesting", which is far from Qu Lebai's inner presupposition, so he was a little flattered.

She opened her eyes without blinking, and two lines of tears flowed down her nostrils.The mother panicked immediately, hugged her, patted her on the back of the head gently, and said, "Hey, don't cry, who made you wronged? Don't cry, don't cry, Lele, don't cry... Ah, good……"

It's been a long time since I last saw her, no matter the gesture of hugging or the tone of her voice, they seem to be comforting a child. Qu Lebai has to bend her body so that she can be fully embraced by her mother.Such a posture is very tiring, but it reminds Qu Lebai of his childhood.

She is about the same age as her brother, so she often quarrels and even fights, and loses every time.After losing, I always feel sullen all by myself, so I sit in the kitchen staring at the kitchen knife, imagining a thousand ways to die.

She imagined that after she died, she would become a soul floating in the air, looking at her cold body, imagining how her parents would curse and resent her brother sadly, and imagining how much her brother would regret not treating her well.When she was a child, she didn't know the reverence for life, and it always made her feel the pleasure of cruelty at the beginning.But as the plot of the movie in her mind gradually enriched, the annoyance of her brother and the sorrow of her parents were like a fountain, and the more they dug, they cried in her mind, as if she was crying herself.She did not cry for her own death, but for the tears of her loved ones.She learned to cherish like this without a teacher, but she didn't expect that one day, the fantasy would be staged in reality.

My brother really died, and my parents were really sad, but they didn't curse and resent me...

I am the most disgusting maggot.

She suddenly discovered that other people including her parents were not as dark and cold-blooded as she imagined.Whether or not she conceived it out of "worst-case scenario," the world was indeed a much better place than she had imagined.

So, maybe you can try to trust yourself, try to admit your mistakes, try to... seek forgiveness?

Qu Lebai stretched out her hands tremblingly, hugged her mother back, and unconsciously put on an aggrieved and coquettish tone, and said, "Mom, I was wrong... I did a lot of things wrong... I'm sorry..."

After chatting with my parents and sister-in-law for a long time, it was not until evening that Qu Lebai and Roujiang left the inpatient building together.

The afterglow of the sunset is very beautiful, depicting people with a faint golden edge, charming and ambiguous.Qu Lebai followed behind Roujiang, looking down at the ground.

A family member was in a hurry, and when trotting past the two of them, he almost knocked Qu Lebai to the ground.Subconsciously, Roujiang took Qu Lebai's hand and led her to the side.After making sure no one fell down, she asked Qu Lebai in shock, "Be careful and look up at the road."

The back of Qu Lebai's hand was tightly held by Rou Jiang, and she could feel the other's soft palm, and her heart beat faster for a moment, as if she had eaten popping candy, jumping and jumping to reach the clouds.

This person in front of her, she took herself to see beauty, and also took herself to avoid danger.So at this moment, the world becomes like heaven.

Qu Lebai's face still had the characteristic dryness after crying, she looked up at Rou Jiang, then quickly lowered her head.

Rou Jiang immediately understood, and said, "Don't dare to see people after crying?"

Qu Lebai nodded, she felt that walking on the road with tear stains would make passers-by feel strange.

"It's nothing, if it's you, the tears are moving." Rou Jiang said, and after a while suddenly realized, she said: "Just now you were wiping your nose on my sleeve... so it's not because of me, but because of a stranger? "

Qu Lebai said in a dull voice: "I always think about things like this, does it make people feel annoying? Will it make you feel annoying?"

Rou Jiang was sensitive to the fact that Qu Lebai was holding her hand loosely, and just about to say something, she saw Qu Lebai raised her head, with a shy and faint smile on her face, but it was like the first day of dawn. A ray of sunrise, with the power to penetrate the darkness.Qu Lebai tightly grasped Roujiang's palm again, and said, "I still feel a little embarrassed, let's go buy a hat!"

After leaving the hospital, the two of them turned a corner, went to a nearby commercial street to eat Xiao Yang Sheng Jian, and bought a funny hat.The shape of the hat is strange, the main body is a gourd of skin color, and a whip is attached to the back.After Qu Lebai put it on, most of her hair was covered, and she looked a bit like a Qing dynasty braid.

After buying the hat, I just turned the corner when I met a little girl who shouted at the two of them jokingly: "The Qing Dynasty is dead!" and ran away immediately.

Qu Lebai didn't expect this, and was stunned for a second.

Rou Jiang looked at the back of the little girl who was leaving quickly, and then at Qu Lebai, gloating and said: "Brother Ba, you are here, are you planning to restore the Qing Dynasty in Shanghai Beach?"

Originally, I bought a novelty hat to cover my red and swollen eyes, but it had the opposite effect.Rou Jiang was teasing, while paying attention to the eyes of the people around her.She was worried that Qu Lebai's idol burden was too heavy, and her mood would get worse in the end.

Unexpectedly, Qu Lebai spread her hands helplessly, and said, "Oops, now the whole Shanghai knows that I'm crying, maybe they think I'm broken in love."

"Who told you to buy such a hat? You can only bear the handsomeness and wit that this age shouldn't bear."

"This is a meme from so many years ago! Hahahahaha, you are so stupid! You are also an anchor! Hahahahahaha..." Qu Lebai was stunned for a few seconds, and suddenly burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at, look down on outdated buzzwords and outdated anchors?" Seeing that Qu Lebai's reaction was as usual, even more lively than expected, the stone in Roujiang's heart fell to the ground.After coming to the hospital, Qu Lebai seemed to have untied the knot in his heart, and he became much more cheerful.

The understanding of family members is really important. Even if the facts have not changed, people will change when their mentality changes.

"To be honest, I bought this hat just to attract the attention of passers-by." After a while, Qu Lebai stared firmly into Rou Jiang's eyes, the teasing in her tone faded, and became firm and serious, "It's time for me to get used to strangers too." I'm out of sight, and I still have a lot of things to deal with."

As soon as the words came out, Rou Jiang immediately realized that Qu Lebai had already made plans to give a proper reply to the rumors on the Internet.

Even though she is still accumulating strength, Rou Jiang believes that as long as she makes up her mind, everything will be solved.

Rou Jiang looked back at Qu Lebai, the other party's eyes were bright, small clusters.She knew that the fire could start a prairie fire immediately.

"Do you want to attract more attention?" Rou Jiang said softly.

"Huh?" Qu Lebai's nasal voice was very heavy, and it sounded soft and glutinous, like a mouthful of sweet green dough.

The crowd is bustling and flowing.In order to make way for the stranger beside him, Qu Lebai moved his footsteps and moved towards Rou Jiang's direction.Rou Jiang hugged Qu Lebai involuntarily, and kissed her on the lips.She even took a small step back to leave an aisle for pedestrians, and also created a small space for the two of them. There were only two people in that space, but only one person could be seen.

Qu Lebai suddenly opened his eyes wide, and instantly felt that his whole body was wrapped in Roujiang.

Her breath, her arms, her lips, her smell, even her hair.

Just like the name of Rou Jiang, she is soft and sweet like jam.Qu Lebai didn't know how to react, so she could only stare blankly into the other's eyes, turning kissing into a cross-eyed contest.

After an unknown amount of time, Rou Jiang finally let go of Qu Le Bai.She was a little out of breath, and said, "In this way, no one in Shanghai will mistakenly think that you are broken in love."

Qu Lebai couldn't figure out the meaning of this sentence, but she knew that Rou Jiang was blushing.What is the reason for this blushing? Does it contain some charming parts?

She was a little guilty, deliberately ignoring the beating in her chest, and unconsciously looked away, looking at the flow of people not far away.

This was the second most important thing for her today. She was secretly happy and ashamed, but no one stopped, and no one cared about the little joy in her heart.

Everyone starred in a non-inspirational workplace drama, and also acted as a supporting role in N bloody soap operas.The last two characters of the two of them in ordinary men and women are not even more exciting than a serving of oden.

The just right indifference in urban life makes Qu Lebai feel safe, and at the same time, he is more intuitively aware of his ordinary and ordinary.Even if she is a writer and Rou Jiang is an anchor, but in the snack city, she is just a diner.

She murmured: "Who in Shanghai would want to know if I'm broken in love..."

Rou Jiang's face was still red, but she said with a smile: "Me." She turned around and took Qu Lebai's index finger, like holding some pet, "Go home."

She didn't explain what she did just now, but said "go home".

Qu Lebai followed behind in a trance, and when he passed a certain mirror, he turned his head and saw the ambiguous smile on his face, but he thought in his heart: Can my cross-eyed eyes get better?