Shhh, it's a secret...

I looked at the ring hanging by the bed, but couldn't resist taking it off and hanging it around my neck.

When I left the bar that day, I went to the lawn behind the dormitory, a place where few people set foot. The bright light was very conspicuous under the moonlight, and it was easy to find the things that I had hysterically wanted to throw away.

"Little Joe..."

That warm call seemed to be right next to his ears, and he still flaunted his smile as always, his dark pupils were not broken and fragile, only his pride and my pampering.

In the past three years, I seldom recalled it, not because I didn’t dare, but because I didn’t want to. At the beginning of my memory, it was his figure who made me happy in different ways, like pampering my own child.

The relationship between me and him will always be that he is giving in step by step. Maybe in his heart I am his bottom line, which cannot be touched, and cannot be touched...

In the past three years, I have not visited his tomb, let alone visited him. Except that I did it myself during the burial, I have never seen him again during the rest of the time. He seems to have become a taboo for me.

Even my mother became cautious and tried not to mention that person as much as possible. Every time she talked about it, she hesitated to speak, and sometimes even complained that her face was too ugly to scare him.

She said that she was not that angry at that time, she was just flustered, and she was also afraid that we would have a hard time in the future.

She said, that day, Yin You said that she would take care of me for the rest of her life, but when she was about to agree, I rushed out suddenly, knelt down and said that I would leave him.

She said that she was indifferent to me in those few days because she felt that in this love, the two parties paid really unequal. She knew what her son was like, and she also accepted my indifference.

She said, if, on that day, she hadn't forgotten something and wanted to come back, would that proud son of heaven still be alive...

I shook my head and didn't speak.

I am very clear in my heart why the matter came to this end, and I also know that this matter is not her fault at all, Yin You's death is because of me.

It's not guilt, nor is it to excuse my mother, but a kind of self-confidence. Yinyou's world is full of flowers, but I am the only one who can live in it.

He will only live for me and live for me.

……

It's another year's Ching Ming Festival.

The sky was overcast and dim, with dark clouds hanging low.

It was clearly a hot and anxious midsummer, but there was a penetrating chill on the soles of the feet, the strong wind was howling, and the thick branches were groaning in pain.

One sound, continuous.

The freshly picked roses are as delicate and red as blood.

I held it, and let the sharp piercing pierce the skin, tick-tock, blooming one after another extremely beautiful flowers on the stone.

Lit a cigarette, stood by his grave, looked at the still clear photo on the stone tablet, and said, "Yin You, long time no see."

The young man in the photo has no expression on his face, his pure black pupils are full of indifference, as if he sneered at my words.

I smiled, threw the cigarette in my hand on the muddy ground, and crushed it hard with my toes.

"Yin You, don't follow me anymore, okay?"

For a long time, I didn't hear him answer.

I stretched out my hand to caress the boy's face, and my bloody fingertips made his face bloody.

Scared, he looked at me.

The temperature on the stone tablet freezes my warm blood, and what passes into my heart is the heart-wrenching coldness.

"Yin You, haven't you always listened to me? Just treat it as..."

"My last request, okay?"

After a long time, he was still silent. I looked at the increasingly indifferent young man on the stone tablet, and suddenly laughed: "I know, you don't want to, do you?"

"Otherwise, why would you still come to me every night? You begged me to get back the lost things, but..."

As I said that, I paused slightly, and took off the ring around my neck: "However, I have found it now, but you don't come to me anymore..."

"They said that there must be a reason for abnormal things. I was wondering, do you want to surprise me?"

"After you left, I really changed a lot. Although I was still narrow-minded and relied on your blessing, I also learned to drink and smoke..."

"You said, am I getting worse and worse?"

"After you die, everyone feels worthless for you, but I think you are still satisfied, otherwise you wouldn't come to me..."

"If, I mean if, if you can really come back again, let's not bother each other..."

"Before, I ruined you, but why didn't you ruin me?"

The wind blows the leaves, and the aroma of roses hits my heart. I turned my head to leave, but was suddenly pulled into a strange and familiar embrace by a force.

"Little Qiao, I'm back..."

Magnetic and clear, with a murmuring nasal sound.

His soft hair rubbed against my neck, full of nostalgia, never unfamiliar.

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