chronic silence

Life is a bad book, but we have to work hard to maintain balance so that we don't fall too ugly when the wind and rain come.

Ma Yueer was walking home alone, she didn't drive, and she didn't want to take a taxi.Having just ended a relationship, she couldn't adjust her mood immediately like ending a funny blind date.

How is she feeling now?

empty.It seems that it can contain any emotion, and it seems to reject all emotions.She tried to think about whether it was the right thing to do; she also tried to think about whether her marriage would still exist.Such thinking did not make Ma Yue'er feel better.No, she wasn't sad either, she was just trying to sort out her thoughts: What should I do in the future, should I just give up the marriage?

Come on, don't lie to yourself.So far, I haven't thought about anything at all.Because Yi Yin's appearance is all in his mind.He heard the anger of breaking up, the seriousness of thinking that it might be an excuse, the shock of knowing the truth... He didn't even observe his expression carefully.Like most people, Ma Yueer began to recall every detail of this relationship, and finally she was able to remember something.

The first time I saw him in the company.

Ma Yueer suddenly realized a terrible fact.After the annual leave, they still have more than 300 days to meet in the company.Immediately, Ma Yue'er didn't want to recall all the past with Yi Yin. She was afraid that she would think of it once she saw her in the future.

Ma Yueer picked up the phone, "Hello, Dad."

"Yue'er, are you going home for dinner? Your mother cooked your favorite dishes."

"I'm almost home." Only loved ones are solid support, and this will never change.

"Okay, now that I've talked to him, feel uncomfortable, feel uncomfortable, shout if you want, scold if you want, eat when you're hungry, drink water when you're thirsty, there's nothing you can't do. Yue'er, this is at home , do whatever you want."

"Thank you dad."

"Daughter, we don't want to worry about those annoying things. We have to live on. Go to bed early after eating. It's not a serious illness. Mom will find a way to cure you."

"En." Ma Yue'er had tears in her eyes, and her parents' relief made her feel a little more at ease. "Dad, Mom. Otherwise, let's take the stone and live there."

"Take the stone to live here?" Mama Ma was lost in thought.

"Yue'er, let's not talk about this for now. Let's eat." Ma Yongjin didn't know what to do.How could the child be mentioned suddenly? You don't need to think about it, and you know that the old woman will definitely not agree.

Ma Yue'er understood it, so she didn't mention it for now.What's more, this matter needs to be discussed with Wei Nuo.But after she proposed to adopt the stone, Ma Yueer's whole thinking became clear.She thought it was good. Since she had no possibility of getting pregnant, there was no need to find a man to marry and have children.Taking a step back, if We Nuo has a suitable adopter, she can also adopt a child by herself.The more she thought about it, the more Ma Yueer knew her final destination in this matter.

And if it's the only option, it's the best option.

Yi Yin returned home early. "Mom and Dad, I'm back."

"Xiaoyi, why did you come back so early today? Didn't you go on a date with Yue'er?" Yi's mother joked between the lines.

Unexpectedly, Yi Yin did not respond.

"What's the matter?" Mama Yi put down the knitting needle in her hand, "What's the matter? Is Yue'er gone?"

"Mom, Yue'er broke up with me."

Yi's mother knocked hard on his forehead, "Why are you so stupid, you won't chase after people away, what's the use of going home, people can run, and the house will run away? When will you go home and not come back, stupid Hey you, get her back quickly, go now!" The woman shook her son's hand as an encouragement to him, but Yi Yin didn't move, and couldn't cheer up at all.

Mama Yi immediately realized the seriousness of the situation and sat next to her son, "Tell me, what happened?"

"Yue'er's premarital examination results came out, she is infertile."

"What did you say!?" Yi's mother couldn't believe it, "Have you confirmed it? Nowadays, many premarital examinations are perfunctory, why don't you let Yue'er do further inspections? It's really unreliable. Mom will call now Doctor Wang, let him..."

"Mom, don't talk about it. Yue'er has already done a detailed inspection and even showed me the report." Yi Yin showed her the report.

"This... this..." In the face of the cruel reality, no one could lie.

"Mom, I just want to ask you one question. Yue'er can't have a baby, do you still recognize her as your daughter-in-law?"

As soon as Yi Yin asked, she had an answer in her heart. Similarly, she knew that Yi Yin must have an answer in her heart, "I can't decide this matter, I have to ask your father."

Yi Yin knew in his heart that she already had the answer, but he still couldn't let go of Yue'er.Yi Yin said sorry in his heart, he had to force both parents to express their opinions, "Tell me what you think first."

"I have no problem, of course I have no problem, as long as you like it-I'm calling your dad now."

"Let me do it."

"No, no, take a break first, relax, and there is a solution to everything."

"Hey, where are you, come back quickly." The other side of the phone didn't know what to answer, Mama Yi turned her back, walked into the room and talked for more than ten minutes before finally finishing the call.

"What did Dad say? I called Yue'er, but no one answered."

"I asked your dad to cancel the party. I told him 'the son is more important than the friend'. After hearing this, he didn't dare to be sloppy, and was rushing back from his friend. Also, Mom thinks this matter, when there is It is best not to contact Yueer before the result is known. First, you have never encountered such a situation. Your brain must be in a mess now. Second, this is not just about the two of you, it is related to two families. If you really want to Whatever the result, our family and theirs should be considerate of each other."

"I'll wait for Dad to come back." Although Yi Yin said so, he still left a message for Ma Yue'er, just to let her calm down and not worry.

After eating lunch, Ma Yueer tossed and turned, unable to sleep.She turned off her phone before going home, thinking that both of them would need some time to digest the result.She turned on the phone, and Yi Yin's text message immediately appeared in front of her eyes. As she read it silently, the tears she had endured for so long fell down without warning.

But she stopped immediately and called Wei Nuo.

"Wei Nuo, has the adopter of the stone been resolved?"

"Not yet, I'm still in the orphanage in H City."

"Go to City H? Don't be so troublesome, what do you think of me?"

"How about you? What do you mean, do you want to adopt a stone?"

"Yeah, you can't find a more suitable candidate in a short time."

"You and Yi Yin, you?" Wei Nuo has been running around in H city for the past few days, and he has to go home to take care of Shitou at night, but he is helpless and has no satisfactory results. It can be said that he is physically and mentally exhausted.Regarding Ma Yueer's inexplicable phone call, he no longer had the strength to think about it.

"You don't have to worry about me and Yi Yin, we have already broken up."

"Split, broke up? What's going on?" Wei Nuo put on his energy, and went to an orphanage today.

"I can't have children." For some reason, Ma Yueer can easily say this sentence now, especially when she said it to Wei Nuo, without any psychological burden before, "I don't know why, after saying it to you , I feel much better."

"You haven't talked to Yi Yin yet?" Wei Nuo told himself, he must be sober, even if he was exhausted, he would not know whether Ma Yueer was really free and easy or fake calm through the phone. rush back.

"I've said it, and I've said the reason. It's a peaceful breakup. How about it? I don't have any burden now, and I will support the stone. You are allowed to see him...three times a week, how about it."

"Yue'er, I can't talk to you on the phone about this." Wei Nuo regained his seriousness, and Ma Yue'er's behavior perfectly explained the meaning of the words "forced smile", at least in Wei Nuo's ears .

"It's okay, I just want to tell you first, if you really can't find a suitable candidate, I will take care of the stone."

"I won't talk to you yet, the person arranged by the hospital has arrived."

The phone hangs up and the room becomes quiet.

"Mr. Wei, tell me about your situation. To be honest, the dean asked me to come here. I only got a general idea in a hurry."

"Okay, um... Ms. Li, it's like this. Due to my personal reasons, a child I adopted and took care of for four years can no longer follow me. Now..."

"Four years? How old is the child?" Ms. Li interrupted Wei Nuo. The two sentences just now revealed a lot of information. Although she really wanted a child, what if there was something in it? Hidden feelings, she is not willing to be taken advantage of.

"Ten years old, it should be 11 years old after the new year. I know that the child may be a bit old, but he is usually quiet, and he studies hard. He is a very sensible child."

Ms. Li thought about it, and at most she believed what Wei Nuo said. "I remember you said that children can go to school in City H, right?"

"Yes, yes, it is because of this that I came here to try my luck. The school has been found, and I can enter directly after the Chinese New Year."

"That's a peace of mind, which school?"

"Siyuan."

"Siyuan, that school is good, but it's too far away from my home, it's inconvenient to get to and from school, and you're from a neighboring city, and you're not familiar with the traffic routes in this city, hey..."

"These are trivial things. If you are really willing to accept the stone, I can rent a store near the school and just watch him from a distance."

"This is not acceptable. Since you have already handed over the child to me, I hope you can completely cut off contact with him. Otherwise, when I am mature, you come over to intervene again. What do you want me to do?"

"This is my only request." Wei Nuo said neither humble nor overbearing. Before this, he had met a few times. To be honest, the conditions were much better than the one in front of him. But either he didn't want Shitou to study in Siyuan Primary School, or he just didn't want to. I hope that Wei Nuo will still follow.The first few discussions fell apart, but Wei Nuo still insisted on doing so.

"Mr. Wei, I hope you are clear that you are the one who is going to hand over the child to me now. Don't say those bad things, since you have given the child to me, I hope you can fully trust me."

"It's not a matter of trust or not. If I didn't trust you, then I wouldn't be sitting across from you today. I only have this one and only request. I hope you can understand."

"Sorry, I may not understand your thoughts. If you insist, I don't think I need to see the child." But I've never heard of someone who has designated a school and waits and sees from afar.

"I see." Wei Nuo crossed out Ms. Li's name on the notebook.

This scene happened to be seen by Ms. Li, and she immediately challenged the dean: "Dean Wang, look at who you are looking for. He said so eagerly on the phone, saying that he is sincere and of high quality. I am here." At first glance, it’s nothing more than that.”

Well, now Wei Nuo can make up his mind not to hand over the stone to this kind of person. "Dean Wang, thank you for your help. I think it's time to find the next person." Wei Nuo bowed to Dean Wang, ignored the woman just now, and left.

He picked up the notebook and repeatedly confirmed, "One, two, three... eleven." In the past few days, he had met eleven suitable adopters, and the one just now was No.11 and the last one.

Yi's father hurried home, his face still smelled of alcohol.

"Are you crazy, drinking and driving?"

"I didn't drive, I left the car at the teacher's place. You talked on the phone for a long time and didn't make it clear what it was."

"My son and Yue'er broke up."

"Arguing? It's fine if they can't solve the matter between the two of them by themselves."

"It's not because of the quarrel, it's because, it's because... Yue'er can't have children."

Yi's father obviously hesitated when he drank water, "What does your son mean?"

"Of course my son doesn't want to break up with Yue'er, otherwise why would I let you come back!"

"Dad, you will support us, right? It's not that Yue'er can't conceive, she just can't conceive in vivo, and now she can be a test-tube baby, Dad, you know?" Yi Yin became more and more excited as she spoke, and almost stood up from the sofa. stand up.

"Don't get excited, your dad is not such a conservative person. It's like this, no matter what you decide, dad will support you, okay? You two want to make a test tube for medicine, so let you do it, but... "

"But what?" Yi Yin thought that his mother had colluded with his father on the phone to make a fool of himself, and he was a little excited when he heard that his father supported them unconditionally, but he didn't expect to say "but".

"But our family never speaks out, have you ever asked your mother for her opinion?"

"Yes, of course mom supports me."

"Of course, of course. Well, now that the matter is settled, you can go to rest early, and ask Yue'er and her family to come out with her tomorrow and have a talk."

Only then did Yi Yin let go of his hanging heart and went back to the room.

"You talk about you, why did I tell you on the phone, why, how can you agree to this?" Mama Yi pulled her husband aside, wanted to complain, and was afraid of being heard by her son.

"It's useless, no matter whether we object to it or not, the woman will never agree."

"Are you sure? There's no need to object."

Wei Nuo glanced at the date, there was less than a week before the end of the month, it seemed that he could only look for Ma Yue'er.

"Hey, Yue'er, I'm calling you so late - I just got home, how about you? I want to talk to you about the stone."

"I can't sleep at home, where can we meet?"

"You decide, I'll come over."

"It's so late, let's just go to the convenience store last time. It's easier for me to drive. Remember to bring stones."

"Stone? Alright, then I'll wait for you at the convenience store." Well, it's better to clarify the matter with Stone earlier than to watch him go out every day and make random guesses.

"Dad, who are we going to see when it's so late?"

"Go and find Sister Yue'er."

"Sister Yue'er? What are you doing? Are you going to take me to buy a pet?"

"...No, Dad will tell you something later. Sister Yue'er hasn't seen you for a long time, and I miss you."

"It's not about buying pets, but I also really miss sister Yue'er——Dad, you've been running outside these days, is it because of my going to school..."

Wei Nuo patted his head, "Don't worry, school matters will be fine, let's go and find Sister Yue'er."

Weinuo arrived first with the stone and bought some snacks that he likes to eat.Ma Yueer arrived soon after.

"Wei Nuo." She sat beside the stone, "Hello, little stone."

"Hello, Sister Yueer."

"Let's talk, do you think about it or I am the best with stones?"

"Besides father, elder sister Yue'er is the best to Shitou!" Shitou echoed repeatedly.

Shi Shi didn't know that these words had a different meaning to Ma Yue'er. "Yue'er, actually you don't need to cover yourself up in this way."

"What nonsense. I was waiting for you to hand me the stone."

"Dad, what's the matter?"

Wei Nuo winked at Ma Yue'er, and said to Shi Shi, "Do you remember that Dad pushed you in the hospital?"

"Remember." The injury on Stone's head had completely healed, and he answered quickly, as if he had completely forgotten the pain at that time.

"Because of Dad's own reasons, I can no longer accompany you to grow up, otherwise the police uncle will take Dad away from Shitou, you know?"

"What do you mean, I don't understand."

Wei Nuo didn't care whether the stone really didn't understand, or he just didn't want to accept it, "I wanted to tell you earlier when I was in the hospital, but it's not too late to tell you now, you will live with Sister Yue'er from now on. , Dad will still visit you often."

"No, no, no, I want to be with my father. Wouldn't it be good if Sister Yue'er came to visit me often? I want to be with my father!"

"Stone!" Wei Nuo became serious because he noticed that Stone was acting like a baby.Every time there is something he can't accept, Shi Shi tries to solve it by acting like a baby.But this time, he couldn't let his temper come. "After a year, you should grow up and be sensible. Wouldn't it be good to live with Sister Yue'er? It's not that Dad wants to leave you, but he won't be able to see you frequently anymore, you know? It's like sleeping in school, understand?"

"Wei Nuo, don't be mean to the child."

"Yue'er, this is the only thing. Now that I have said it, I must make it clear to Shi Shi. I don't want to hide it, and I don't want to be unclear."

After Wei Nuo said that, Ma Yueer naturally couldn't say anything more.

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't understand what you're talking about, it must be that bad uncle, is it because he wants to move into my house, that's why you kicked me out, I don't want him to come to our house, don't!"

I don't know why Shitou suddenly mentioned Chen Yaoyu, but Ma Yueer glanced at Wei Nuo, her expression was really ugly.

Wei Nuo also didn't expect Shitou to mention him at such a time, maybe Chen Yaoyu's coming and going in and out of the house gave Shishi a bad impression. "It's none of his business." Wei Nuo tried his best to keep himself calm, not to be affected by a name or a memory.

"It's him, it must be him!" The so-called stubbornness of a child is just admitting death.

Seeing Wei Nuo's embarrassed look, Ma Yue'er couldn't help but said, "Stone, it has nothing to do with that uncle."

"Then why doesn't Dad want me?"

"It's not that I don't want you anymore." Ma Yueer took a deep breath, "Otherwise, what do you think, I will give you the legal custody of Shishi, but I will actually live with you? Anyway, I can't let go of everything here. The matter will go to City H immediately."

Wei Nuo didn't think about this method, "Is this okay? What if I..."

Ma Yueer understands that Wei Nuo's worry is nothing more than mental instability. "It's okay, isn't this good? In case you have an attack, ask Stone to call me."

"But you're not in City H, when the time comes..."

"Wei Nuo, don't think so much. There is no perfect solution. Even if you come to raise it, to put it bluntly, can accidents be something that you and I can control? Or do you think there are still people in this world? Someone who cares more about stones than you do?"

What Ma Yueer said was not unreasonable, Wei Nuo also tried to calm his emotions during this time. "Actually, I'm sorry for you."

"It's out of your control—what do you think, Stone?"

"Okay." Shitou felt aggrieved, he seemed to have no place to speak in the adults' world, and even for a moment he began to doubt whether his father really loved him, or, in fact, he loved that uncle more—he was anyway. I can't forget what happened a few days ago.

That was too much impact for a ten-year-old.

"Then it's settled. I'll contact you by phone when I go through the formalities." Ma Yueer glanced at the snack packages on the table, and took some more. "In the future, two people will take care of the stone at the same time. Are you happy?"

"Happy!" Stone held back his tears, took a pack of new snacks and started eating again.

"Yiyin, have you dealt with everything?"

"almost."

Wei Nuo understands the circumstances under which Ma Yueer made such a decision, and also understands the desperation of the two of them right now.If he really handed over the stone to her, there will only be more gossip, he understands all of this.It's just that it's the best option.

That night, Ma Yueer talked a lot, regardless of whether Shi Shi was still there.She didn't drink, she just spoke calmly and methodically, from the time she met Wei Nuo to the time when she met him again at the wedding, she talked slowly or quickly, as if she was telling a very long story.The plot was ups and downs, the mood changed, and in the end, he also expressed his truest thoughts.

"Actually, I have already thought about it. I will never get married again in this life—no, how can I use the word 'again'."

Wei Nuo was actually a little surprised. He knew the meaning of Ma Yueer's words very well. For the first time in his life, he had the idea of ​​"Maybe if it's Ma Yueer, maybe he can"—it's not a joke, and it's not for nothing Consider other realities.It's more just two people who are desperate in love or marriage to support each other and get through the bumpy days.

"You decide for yourself." Wei Nuo would not say "you deserve better people", because the more he listened to it, the more pale he felt.Love is blind. If you work hard to move Mount Tai, it is better for others to gently blow away a grain of sand that falls into your eyes. It is so unfair.

People are so fragile, but no matter how old you are, there are always things that can easily break you.

"It's up to me, of course."

"If you need me to explain, feel free to contact me."

"You, you, the matter of the stone is settled, and you have the mind to take care of me? It's because of this that I will always like you." Ma Yueer didn't deliberately say it lightly, maybe after going through all this, she can truly open-minded.

"It's getting late, I'm going home first."

"I'm not going to see you off, just report back home and say you're safe."

Ma Yue'er didn't say anything more, when she got up to leave, the red scarf passed Wei Nuo's eyes, for some reason, this image remained in Wei Nuo's mind for a long time.