Neverland

"Mr. Xu." Ji Yun said, "Do you know what pain is?"

Xu Muzhou clenched and loosened the hand hanging by his side, but he couldn't say "I understand".

It hurts only when the knife is cut on the body. No matter how much other people feel sympathetic or pitiful, they just stand on the safe reef and watch others up and down in the sea of ​​suffering.As long as you don't go into the water yourself, it will be too pale and powerless to make people feel unconvinced.

Xu Muzhou has never experienced this kind of heart-piercing pain when he grew up, and he can't imagine the pain of stripping a person from life.

He has only personally watched similar scenes twice in his life—the first time was when the old director of the orphanage died of illness. At that time, he was just in his early tenth year. Sad look, but with a sense of relief.

The old dean was still lying in the funeral home and had not been buried. The documents in the office were scattered in the air like snowflakes, and the floor was in a mess.

Xu Muzhou, who was still young at the time, didn't quite know what it meant to be an unfilial son in front of a long-term hospital bed. He only remembered the indifferent faces and the black footprints on the documents scattered on the ground.

The second time was when his colleague's wife passed away unexpectedly when he was just working. Xu Muzhou and the other party belonged to the same project team, so when they bowed their heads and didn't see each other when they looked up, their team went along with the gift money when the funeral was held.

The 1.8-meter man lost a lot of weight in just two or three days, his eye sockets were sunken, he seemed to have lost his soul, he would not eat or drink, and he was not very good at talking when he met people.A big man always wears a flower bracelet with broken diamonds on his wrist, and often sits on the periphery of the crowd in a daze.

The joys and sorrows of the world are similar, but the pain in everyone's heart is different.

For Ji Yun, Memorial's death may be like cutting rot and growing muscle, or it may be like peeling the skin and tearing apart the bones, the pain is too painful, Xu Muzhou doesn't know.

Seeing that he didn't answer, Ji Yun chuckled and said, "...so you said, how could I let go."

Although Ji Yun had a smile on her face, her eyes were already bloodshot, and blood streaked up her pupils along the whites of her eyes, enveloping her black pupils tightly, as if she had covered her hood with a net.

"Did you see her?" Ji Yun stretched out her hand and gestured on the right side of her body. She was slightly shorter, compared her height near her knees, and then said to Xu Muzhou: "She is right here, beside me .”

As Ji Yun said, he fished out his right hand in the void and held it loosely—as if he was holding a hand.

"I don't care why this is, and I don't care what happens in the future, she is here now." Ji Yun said: "I will not give her up to you."

Seeing her movements, Xu Muzhou felt the wind blowing down his spine for no reason.There was obviously empty air around Ji Yun, but she pulled it so naturally, as if there was really a young child standing beside her.

"Do you know why I told you this?" Ji Yun gritted her teeth, she could hardly maintain the smile on her face, her breathing was extremely rough.

"I don't know." Xu Muzhou said.

"I just want you to give up." Ji Yun said, "Go away, we'll pretend we haven't met."

"Impossible." Xu Muzhou said: "You know that people are people, and ghosts are ghosts. They cannot be compared."

He probably has been with Yan Cen for a long time, and when the waves are calm, there is a little more flavor that makes people unable to detect the depth.

"Then why you can do it!" Ji Yun's emotions suddenly lost control, she suddenly got into trouble, and rushed over to stretch out her hand at Xu Muzhou.

Xu Muzhou subconsciously closed her eyes, but before Ji Yun grabbed Xu Muzhou's neck, her wrist was strangled by a strong force.

"She's not here at all now." Yan Cen said firmly.

His face was as deep as water, and he held her wrist in front of Xu Muzhou.Yan Cen probably didn't have the words "pity the fragrance and cherish the jade" in his dictionary, he pushed the person back fiercely, regardless of whether Ji Yun could stand still.

"Where did you get the 'commemoration'? You have lied to yourself too many times, so you still take it seriously?" Yan Cen sneered: "Your sister doesn't have a name at all, even if she does, her surname is not Ji, her surname is Zhang. .”

Xu Muzhou opened his eyes, only to find that Ji Yun had fallen to the ground. Her bare knee had a red mark on the hard tile, but Ji Yun seemed to be incapable of pain. She looked at Yan Yan viciously. Cen, a deep anger burst out in his eyes.

Xu Muzhou was startled, only to realize that this was the first time "emotion" appeared in Ji Yun's eyes.

"Did I hit your heart?" Yan Cen's eyes were burning, and he said in a cold voice: "She was brought back by you, she was named by you, and was influenced by your life and emotions, why didn't you ask her, she Do you want to?"

No, Xu Muzhou thought, it wasn't just Ji Yun—even Yan Cen was angry.

This surprised Xu Muzhou even more than Ji Yun's madness. He always thought that his brother Yan was the kind of mature man who had gone through thousands of vicissitudes of life and didn't care much about many things. Meaningless emotions rarely appeared to him.

—but now, he was angry.

Xu Muzhou doesn't quite know where Yan Cen's anger comes from, but he clearly knows that he is talking nonsense. They are all people who have seen "Memento". Yun has always been very kind to her, and "Jiuan" also likes to be by Ji Yun's side.

Yan Cen is deliberately misinterpreting the truth to test the extent of Ji Yun's connection with Memorial.

"In this world, she can only be in touch with you. Do you think that is your precious lost and found? Have you ever thought about her feelings?" Xiao, what do you know about life and death? She only knows that she is alone in this world, looking at her parents in front of her eyes, but unable to speak or touch. How do you know, she is not afraid!"

The necklace on Xu Muzhou's neck suddenly became hot, he clicked his tongue, and simply took off the necklace, and fastened it around his right hand a few times at night, as a bracelet.

Ji Yun looked at Yan Cen, her chest rose and fell sharply, she sucked in a big mouthful of air, her whole body was trembling slightly with the movement of breathing.

Xu Muzhou tensed all the muscles nervously, ready for her to go crazy again.Unexpectedly, Ji Yun took a breath intermittently, and his whole body collapsed as if he had vented his energy.

"...You're right." Ji Yun said, "I know everything, I understand everything. My mother thinks I'm crazy, but I know I'm not—I just don't want to face my own mistakes."

"What's wrong?" Xu Muzhou asked.

"I didn't try my best." Ji Yun said softly.

Ji Yun lowered her head, looking at her two hands on the ground, the plain white knuckles curled up unconsciously.

"If you're talking about that lottery ticket—it's not your fault." Xu Muzhou pulled Yan Cen, motioned him not to provoke Ji Yun's emotions, stepped forward and said, "I've seen it The date of that lottery ticket has expired, and it was only available after your sister passed away, no matter what, it cannot be regarded as your failure to do your best."

"You won't understand, only I understand, I should have persisted before." Ji Yun didn't look up, all her energy just now seemed to be reflected, and the whole person returned to the half-dead state of yesterday: " It was my parents who made the conservative treatment decision, but I did not oppose it... because I also had selfish intentions at the time, and I was afraid that my hard work would be in vain in the end, and that she would suffer for so long in vain."

Xu Muzhou was speechless.

This is an almost inescapable dilemma.In the case of knowing the ending, in fact, no matter what you choose, you will regret it in the end.

Ji Yun now regrets that she didn't try her best to persevere, but if she had chosen another path at that time, she might regret it now, regretting why she didn't choose a more comfortable path for Memorial.

"Moreover, Mr. Xu." Ji Yun said softly: "There must be evidence for a person's existence, name, identity, anything - but she has nothing."

"Memorial is my name, and she only has this." Ji Yun rolled up the sleeves on her arms, and touched the wound on her forearm with trembling fingertips: "The children here died before the age of three. There are no graves. After cremation, the ashes will be blown into the wind along the chimney of the cremator, and nothing will be left in the end."

Following Ji Yun's voice, the blood on Xu Muzhou's wrist was also continuously burning. He glanced at it and found that the black liquid on it had left only a thin layer at some point.

Xu Muzhou is too familiar with this ratio of black and white - it means that they are only one step away from the end of the mission. After solving Ji Yun's obsession, they will be able to return to Neverland.

But Xu Muzhou hesitated for the first time. Facing Ji Yun, he really couldn't make up his mind to let her go to commemorate.

Xu Muzhou only felt in a dilemma, he looked back at Yan Cen, and found that the other party was also looking at him.Yan Cen leaned on the wall and compared his wrists to him, which meant to let him make a quick decision.

Judging from Yan Cen's appearance of standing on the sidelines, Xu Muzhou knew that he didn't intend to come up with such an idea.

"Ji Yun." Xu Muzhou tentatively said, "We're not here to take her away."

Ji Yun froze and looked up at him hesitantly.

"We are here to fulfill your wish." Xu Muzhou continued.

"I have no wish." Ji Yun looked at him vigilantly: "You can go."

Xu Muzhou glanced at the bracelet and found that the black liquid on it hadn't dropped at all.

Xu Muzhou frowned slightly, feeling that something was wrong.If Ji Yun's wish was really "to leave a memorial", when Xu Muzhou gave the steps just now, her obsession had actually been fulfilled.

But the progress bar on the hydrangea can't lie, it can only show that Ji Yun's obsession is not this.

To be honest, when Xu Muzhou confirmed the matter, his first reaction was to breathe a sigh of relief.But what followed was a greater doubt - what exactly was her obsession.

Xu Muzhou closed his eyes, combing through his mind over and over again all the scenes and clues he had seen since he came to this mission, going through all the imaginable "details" in his mind.

His eyes fell on Ji Yun's bedside, and the book "One Hundred Years of Solitude" was quietly pressed on top of "Snow Doll", as if it was covered by the pillow.

Xu Muzhou was startled at first, but suddenly smiled.

"...I see." Xu Muzhou shook his head.

Ji Yun's obsession is not to leave a memorial at all - the answer was put in front of him as early as the very beginning, but he was blindfolded by the various clues, so that he couldn't believe that it was the real answer.

Memorial grew up in Ji Yun's heart. The worlds of the two of them are completely opposite, but they lead to the same goal by different routes.While Memorial grew up in Ji Yun's personal will, it also affected her in turn.

That's why the quest object of Neverland is so vague. That's because although there is only one quest this time, it comes from two quest objects at the same time.

In fact, Memorial told them as early as when they first came to this world, to "find my sister."